


Children of the Ancients

by Sourlander



Series: Loyalties [4]
Category: Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1
Genre: 25 years later, Archaeology, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, Marriage, Older Characters, Science, Secrets, US Air Force, loss of a child, space travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:41:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 53
Words: 141,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23233399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sourlander/pseuds/Sourlander
Summary: Caleb Lorne hates that his parents have secrets. He hates that his sister Grace is in on them. He's plagued by nightmares and he can't intepret them. He doesn't know where they come from, but he has a hunch his father, General Lorne, could help him get to the bottom of them.
Relationships: Daniel Jackson/Vala Mal Doran, Evan Lorne/Original Female Character(s), Samantha "Sam" Carter/Jack O'Neill, Teyla Emmagan/John Sheppard
Series: Loyalties [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1457257
Comments: 80
Kudos: 25





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to part three. This story is set a couple of years in the future. Hope you still like it :-)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the third part of the Loyalties series! This story is about the children of Evan and Alex Lorne. I hope you like it!
> 
> We’re starting off with the prologue, which was inspired by Christina Stürmer’s song “Mama (Ana Ahabak).

_2011_

He couldn’t quite grasp what she way saying.

He didn’t know what language she was speaking.

There was fire. Everything was hot. Far too hot.

The light overhead flickered and went out.

She spoke into nothingness, but seemed to get answers as they hurried along the long corridor. Years later he’d still be able to see it in his dreams. The glass and the metal. He could almost smell the smoke and the ozone as the lights overhead burst and the water tanks broke open to release their contents. He was terrified as he held tight to his mother’s jacket hurrying along the corridors of their home.

Within seconds he felt lost and he clung even tighter to her trembling hand. He didn’t realize it then, but he’d never felt that unsafe in her presence. Her usual calm and determination was gone. All that was left of her composure had evaporated within seconds of the first tremor.

Caleb Lorne didn’t know what was going on.

All he did know was that his mother was terrified. That they were running and that stopping to run might result in something much, much worse.

He stumbled and his mother paused for just a second to pick him up, whispering apologies into his hair, her low voice making up for how cold her hands were. But she still wasn’t happy. She was still scared. But she’d protect him. They’d be alright. Of course they would.

Closing his eyes, he leaned into her embrace and after a brief pause during which she did her best to catch her breath, before the next tremor shook the floor beneath them and she started walking again. More slowly this time, but he could feel her heart hammering against her chest. He’d never seen her like this and that alone made him want to shout at her. To tell her to stop walking. To explain what was going on. But she didn’t. Not a word.

He closed his eyes, pressing his face against his mothers neck and wishing his father were here too. He was always there. Always there to protect him, to take care of him. But where was he now?

The corridor stretched along endlessly and as they ran, the massive explosions made his ears ring. They hurt so badly that his eyes were burning with tears before he knew it. And then she stopped.

An icy, salty wind struck his face, making his raw skin sting even more.

“Sh,” she whispered, kissing his cheek. “Almost there.”

Her voice was trembling as they stepped out on the platform. The view was unlike the one in their home had been. There was no city, no more buildings to be seen from here. Just the dark grey of the icy sea below them.

Her arms tightened around him and he felt her shoulders relax as another familiar sound reached his ears. A ball of fire flamed up right before them, basking them both in searing heat. But she didn’t fall. Just held him tighter again. And then the ship appeared in front of them. Massive and silvery. It turned its back towards them, then it opened up. He couldn’t see anyone inside, but his mother moved without hesitation, holding him tight as she jumped and they were safely inside.

“How bad-“ she began, but was cut off by another voice. A voice which made him feel better despite the meaning of his words.

“Bad!”

His mother moved forward, holding him steady and through the window ahead, Caleb saw the grey ocean and big balls of light rushing towards them. “Zelenka set the self-destruct. We don’t have much time.” As they moved closer and his mother sat down next to his father, Caleb saw Grace sitting in his lap. Fast asleep, her cheek against his chest as his arm cradled her. She slept all the time.

“How-“

 _“Daedalus_ is waiting for us. Cloaking.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 7 of Social Distancing, and here’s Chapter 1. In this one we’re getting to know Caleb Lorne. I’m getting to know the boy myself, and boy, does he surprise me. Enjoy!

**  
**

_2033_

He didn’t much like the air inside the library. Of course he knew the air in here was perfect to keep the books in a good condition, but the smell of this place was making his head ache. It smelled like it must have been when Daniel had still been a student here. And that must have been? What? Fifty years ago?

Caleb huffed and slammed the book shut. His eyes were starting to burn. How long had he been in here? Four hours? Six? He’d left the old-fashioned watch his uncle had given him at home, and the holo screen in front of him had frozen. With a sigh, he folded the slim keyboard and waved his hand over the flat sensor array in front of him. No use trying to find any more books. He had to remind himself that he didn’t have to adhere to deadlines as much anymore. That he was done. That he’d gotten his PHD four weeks ago and that all that was left for him to do now was to do research. Finally, all he needed to focus on was work and all he had to fear was the scorn of his colleagues. The fate of Daniel Jackson, who had been a close family friend all his life, had haunted him for all his professional career. He never wanted to reach a point where his ideas were laughed at. But when would he cross that line? And how?

Daniel’s theories had never been proven and he’d lost every professional credibility he’d ever had because of it. But still he’d never seemed unhappy with his life. Working for the Air Force as a scientific consultant had been fulfilling enough for him, as it had been for Caleb’s mother, but Caleb didn’t even want to think about what it might mean to give up real, solid work for an full-time desk job. He tried to take every opportunity to work in the field. Sitting in a library like this wasn’t his favourite past time. Luckily that wasn’t necessary all that often anymore. Over the past twenty years, especially after that insane flu pandemic about ten years ago, when every public building, every school, every place where people could meet, had been closed off, people had stopped relying on paper less and less. His mother regretted it to this day, he knew. She still preferred paper over digital media, that would never change, but she’d adapted. Of course, going to a library and looking up certain facts every now and again, was still necessary. Not every library had all the books available to mankind digitally. But it was just a question of time, before these places would be nothing but archives.

Caleb touched the book cover, wondering why his mother was still so fond of the roughness of the binding, of how dust seemed to cling to the skin, even when you knew there was no dust on the cover. It was Daniel’s dissertation. Since Daniel Jackson had abandoned his life in academia and had resorted to working for the Air Force and his entire research had fallen into disrepute, nobody had bothered digitizing his work. But it wasn’t all bad. Really, it wasn’t! During the first couple of years after handing in his thesis, Daniel had done some incredible work translating and interpreting hieroglyphs. His work near Lake Nasser, the digs he’d led there, should have brought him on the fast track to leading his own department. But things hadn’t panned out for him. Not that Caleb could blame the archaeological community for laughing at him in the 90’s. He himself might have done the same. But Daniel was a close family friend, heck, every year on his birthday, his dad would tell the story of Daniel delivering him in an elevator. Apparently, the archaeologist and linguist also had a knack for delivering babies, something which Daniel’s wife Vala still teased him about.

Caleb leaned back in the uncomfortable chair and looked up. He was very nearly the only one left on this floor. Not a big surprise there. The semester was as good as over and most students used the library for work these days, not for research. Most people had already gone home. He rubbed his eyes and stretched, stifling a yawn with the inside of his elbow. The sun hadn’t set yet, but it was about to. The red light hit the large windows and almost shone directly at him through a particularly narrow line of bookshelves. He really should go home. Tomorrow he’d be leaving to his parents’ house in Colorado Springs. He wasn’t looking forward to it too much.

He hadn’t been home since Christmas. Since he’d left home for university, his mother and father had never told him they would have preferred him to stay in the area, but the way they always subtly fed him more than they ever had when he was still living with them, told him as much. They missed him. And it wasn’t as though he didn’t miss _them_ , but God, did he wish they weren’t so clingy. How Grace, his sister, managed it, he couldn’t say. She hadn’t moved away exactly, though, had she?

He blinked when a shadow entered the row of bookshelves, finding it hard to adjust to the quick change of lighting conditions. The narrow frame of a tall woman was walking towards him. She was wearing a white, knee-length dress with short sleeves. He only saw her face as she was standing right in front of him. A warm smile, her dark hair tied back in a pony tail and her eyes trained directly on him.

“Hey,” she said and Caleb was taken aback by how loudly she was talking to him. Students or no, this was still a library! And boy, did he sound like his mother, even in his own head!

“Hey,” he answered, his voice hoarse from not speaking in hours. He reached for his old leather bag and started packing things. The gaze from those almond-shaped blue eyes was making him slightly nervous. And that, he realised, didn’t happen too often.

“Can you help me? I’m new, and I can’t seem to find the archaeology section.”

“Well, you found it,” he said, reaching instinctively for the book. He needed something more to hold on to than just his bag. Another realization that hit him like a hammer over the head. Her slightly deep voice, the way she was smiling at him… what the devil was wrong with him? “Are you looking for anything in particular?” he asked when he’d finally managed to slide the holo projector into its protective sleeve.

“Mesopotamia.”

He looked at her with a frown. He’d never seen her before. She must be close to his age, but she seemed lost. “Are you new here?” Not that he could claim he knew everybody on campus, but the archaeology department wasn’t all that big, and neither was the number of students attending classes. He got up from his chair, holding the book tight to his chest.

“In a way? I’m working for the Chicago Herald. Just doing a bit of research.”

“Huh.” Caleb found he didn’t have much else to say. Since when had journalists started doing proper research again? Most of them didn’t bother and just looked up facts on the internet. “Should be down that aisle,” he said pointing two rows to the right. There was a dark stain on the carpet there. He remembered it all too well. On his first week here, he’d spilled the coffee he hadn’t been supposed to bring right in that very spot when he’d seen Anna Schäfer’s name there. She was a friend of her mother’s and had also worked for the Air Force for a while, before returning to her field. Unlike his mother.

“Thanks,” the woman said, smiling brightly at him. “Can I, maybe, buy you a coffee some time?”

“I don’t drink coffee,” he blurted out and feeling his ears grow hot.

“Oh…” Her face fell and Caleb felt a lump in his throat. “I-“

“I like tea!” Caleb added quickly. He could have kicked himself for that remark alone. Damn it, why was he always trying to be polite? But then again, why shouldn’t he? She was obviously interested in his field of study and, apparently interested in _him_ , so why shouldn’t he give it a shot? It wasn’t as though there was a whole lot going on in the dating department anyway.

She bit her lip. “I’ve got to work now, but can we meet up tomorrow maybe?”

“How about next Friday? I’m going home for a couple of days tomorrow.”

“Sure!” she said brightly, reached for his hand and started scribbling something with a thick felt pen. Caleb did his best not to flinch away at the cool touch of her skin. “Call me when you’re back, okay?”

“I’m Caleb by the way. Caleb Lorne.” Like always, he forgot to mention his title. She didn’t need to know. Not yet. He didn’t want to seem like a show-off.

She smiled at him and turned away to head for the shelves.

Caleb stared after her, completely non-plussed by what had happened just now. He kept staring even after she’d vanished into the aisle and only when he felt the soft buzzing behind his ear, did he realize it was time to go. Shaking his head, he pressed the thin button behind his right ear love and listened to the message his sister had sent him. A familiar voice that brought him back to the present.

Shaking his head, he picked up the book again. He’d take it home and maybe even to Colorado Springs. Maybe reading an actual book would distract him somewhat. Maybe he’d find something interesting to talk about, since he’d be meeting at least three other archaeologists, always hoping that Josh Murdoch wouldn’t show up to steal the show.

He stretched again and started heading towards the staircase and looked down at his hand. At the note the woman had written there. A short number and a name. He’d add the number to his list of contacts later, he thought. Just in case he actually felt like calling her when he got back. Somehow, now that she wasn’t in sight anymore, he doubted he wanted to. But a slip of paper would have been easier to throw away. Wiping away this number would take forever. Seriously, who used pens anymore?

Well, okay. Apart from his parents and their friends.

Apparently Elinore Woodstock did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So? What do you think? Some of you may have noticed there is a bit of a similarity between this beginning of this story and the beginning of the series? Yep, did that on purpose. Sorry, I’m rambling. Just let me know what you think.
> 
> Next chapter we’ll get to know Grace and meet Evan and Alex and in the next couple of days we’ll discover what they’ve been up to. Poor Caleb doesn’t know a thing…


	3. Chapter 3

**  
**

_2033_

There had been a memorial at the SGC. In her short time there, she’d already attended three of those, not including the most recent one.

This one stood apart.

She’d known General Mitchell all her life. He’d recruited her personally for the Stargate Program, when her father wouldn’t let her near that top-secret program offered to young cadets at the Academy. Hell, he’d done all he could to keep her away from the Air Force, but ultimately he’d resigned himself to the idea that she had to make her own way. Her own choices. And Cam had known what she wanted to do. What she wanted to be. What she could bring to the SGC. She was at the top of her class, she’d become a pilot, an engineer, and now she was an explorer on top of it all. And she knew she owed it to him. To General Cameron Mitchell, who had hand-picked her for this program. Who had put all his faith in her.

Who was now dead.

She had her eyes trained on the black coffin as it was lowered into the ground. A military funeral was always different from a civilian one, and despite her love for the Air Force, she had to admit, she would have rather stood by her family right now, instead of apart. Her mother and brother were standing several rows behind them, her father a few feet to her left and in front of her, several higher-ranking officers between them. She was with her team, yes, but that had felt right at the SGC.

Not in this context. Even if this _was_ a military cemetery.

The lump in her throat wouldn’t go away. It had all happened so suddenly. One moment Cameron was there, heading the mission briefing, and then he’d gone home, gone to bed, and never woken up again. He’d been sixty-three. Four months older than her own father, who would be the same age the next day. Sixty-three. Far too young to die. And O’Neill was expressing a similar sentiment in his speech right now. A speech she barely listened to.

Somewhere to the right, almost out of sight to O’Neill, but not to her, stood John Sheppard, another one of that generation. Another unsung hero of this nation. Most people here knew who Cameron Mitchell had been. Not just a general. Not just a pilot, or an officer in the Air Force. Not just a _good man_.

Cameron Mitchell had been an exceptional leader. An inspiration. A hero who had fought the Ori and the Goa’uld, who had battled the Replicators and the Furlings. A man who was not done with this. Not done with this world. Not done with life. And yet, here they were. Standing at attention as Jack O’Neill took a step to the side and saluted as the coffin was lowered down into the ground, the searing hot sun blazing down on all of them. A full stop in Cameron Mitchell’s life, when there should have been a comma.

When the funeral was over, Grace still stood rooted to the spot, her eyes drifting over to Mitchell’s former team as they stood a few meters to the side. Daniel, who was standing very close to his wife. Vala was talking in a low voice, her eyes red. Grace had barely ever seen her like this. Vala had always been the cheeriest person Grace had ever known, but to see her wiping the tears from her eyes now was harder to watch than Sam leaning heavily on O’Neill who was talking quietly to Teal’c. The Jaffa was the oldest of the group, though still looked the youngest.

She caught movement to her right and her head whirled around. Sheppard was looking at her and when their eyes met, he threw Grace a narrow smile, then turned away. She was standing by herself now, the members of her team having dispersed. When had that happened? She stood rooted to the spot, watching Sheppard retreat towards a woman with short blond hair and a tall, plump looking man who were standing by a black car. Sheppard was wearing a black suit and tie. She couldn’t even imagine him in a military uniform, though she had seen pictures in old reports. Not the standard issue uniform, but the old uniforms worn by the members of the Atlantis expedition back in the day. Sheppard in Air Force blue? That was something she couldn’t even begin to imagine.

“You’re not gonna join us?”

Grace flinched. She hadn’t heard him approach. She let out a breath and turned to look at her father. “Sorry, I was just… lost in thought?”

He nodded and carefully placed an arm around her shoulders. “Come on,” he said, “let’s head home.”

She nodded gravely and wrapped her arm around his middle. His body was excruciatingly warm. Had he even talked to Sheppard? Probably. Sheppard and her father had been in the Pegasus Galaxy together and they were still in contact occasionally. Sheppard had even come by their house when she and Caleb had still been kids. To find out the friendly, easy-going friend of the family had once been part of the military had been hard to believe at first.

Her father’s grip on her shoulders was tight, as he led her towards her mother and Caleb, who were talking quietly. What they were saying, Grace couldn’t fathom, but she got the sense that it probably wasn’t about Mitchell, not by the way Alex Lorne was gesticulating wildly. This was probably about archaeology, or a research paper, or an article they’d both read. They didn’t talk about much else these days. Not long now and they’d call in Daniel for advice. Advice which Caleb would dismiss instantly. Of course he would. With a sinking feeling, Grace let go of her father and stepped towards Caleb to embrace him. She hadn’t seen him in months, not since she first signed up permanently with the Stargate Program. What she’d found out since then had made her feel queasy at first. Now, looking at Caleb, it made her nervous and she felt a twinge of guilt as his arms tightened around her.

“I’ll never get used to that uniform,” he grinned at her, his blond hair reflecting the light and highlighting the odd reddish tone in there. Something he must have inherited from their grandfather on their father’s side. Apart from the colour of his hair, he resembled their father most of all. At least on the outside.

Grace shook her head and straightened her hat, catching her mother’s gaze, a worried expression fluttering over her face and Grace felt yet another pang of guilt. She hadn’t talked to her mother since before her last mission.

“Shall we get home?” her mother asked, the warm tone in her voice making Grace feel even worse. She exchanged another glance with her brother and nodded. Lingering on cemeteries wasn’t exactly the best activity for a family reunion. She looked over her shoulder at Cameron’s former team. O’Neill had long since retired, but Daniel was still working with her mother and father at the Academy, helping to train and prepare new recruits for the SGC, while Carter and Teal’c were barely on Earth anymore. Of course, Grace had only known that for a couple of months, and one of her first missions had been to accompany Sam on a trip on the _US General Hammond_ to a planet that had once been known as Langara.

Sam reached out to Daniel and hugged him once, saying a few words, before starting to walk away. Cameron was the first of their team to die, Grace realized. The first of the team to pass on to a world where nobody could follow. It must be devastating, and Grace dreaded the moment it happened to her.

“Coming?” Caleb asked and Grace nodded once. Their parents had already started walking, hand in hand, her father’s thumb gently caressing her mother’s hand. Those two had seen team mates die, she knew. How had they managed? They hadn’t talked about it yet, but Grace knew the death of Cameron Mitchell must have hit them both pretty hard. Ever since they’d all returned to Earth, Mitchell had become another regular guest at their house. They’d been colleagues first, and at some point they’d become friends.

Caleb was sitting in the passenger seat. Their parents had picked him up at the airport and taken him home only briefly so he could change before the funeral. Now he was holding tight to his seat as his sister rushed down the street, right behind their parents. Not long now and she’d start sighing in that annoyed fashion of hers.

“You know, Dad will be mad if you overtake them,” he said quietly and Grace immediately slowed down.

Caleb closed his eyes for a moment. He’d never understand why all his family was so incredibly fond of driving fast.

She hit the breaks hard at a stop sign and the seat belt cut into his chest.

Really, he’d never understand it.

He let out a breath and shook his head.

“Why are you so nervous?”

“Why are you so angry?”

“Funerals make me angry,” she said quietly. And he got it. He really did. Funerals weren’t fun. Their parents almost always were eerily quiet afterwards, and ever since Caleb started noticing that other couples were at least able to chat normally when they were over, he’d become more and more uncomfortable. He knew why that was. He knew about that other child they’d lost early on in their marriage, but the way they behaved still struck a chord with him. And apparently Grace felt almost the same. At least he’d tried to engage his mother in conversation. And it had worked. At least for a while. He knew she wanted to hear more about that upcoming dig in Italy.

“No reason to get _us_ killed, too.”

Grace grunted unhappily.

“When did you switch to a combustion engine anyway?” They were completely out of fashion by now, especially since electric cars could go almost as far as the old ones had twenty years ago. Really, there was no reason to ruin the environment any more than humanity already had, and Grace surely picked up on the accusatory tone in his voice when she turned the corner into their street. Their parents’ car, an odd blue sensible thing, was just parking in the driveway.

“I just like it, okay?”

“Didn’t say anything,” he muttered under his breath when she parked her car. “You’re the engineer. You know what you’re doing, I suppose.”

“Yes, I do,” she said testily.

“Really, what’s got you worked up like this?”

“I liked Cam, okay? And he was my CO, so I get to be angry he just died, okay?”

Caleb frowned at her and kept himself from pointing out that Cameron Mitchell had died five days ago. That, yes, he’d been a friend of the family and maybe even Grace’s commanding officer, but that didn’t justify her snapping at him like this. But he also knew there was nothing he could say or do that would make her apologize to him right now. So, instead of saying anything, he just opened his door, ripped off his tie and stepped outside.

The dog was already barking madly at the door, like he always did when somebody started taking the steps up towards the porch. Winnie, a completely ridiculous name for a thin, greyish, scrawny dog, ran outside the moment Evan Lorne opened the door and rushed towards Caleb, his tongue hanging out and his clever, deep brown eyes trained directly at him. Obediently, Caleb knelt down to pet him. He’d been the one to pick him out seven years ago, although it’d been clear even then that he wouldn’t be staying in Colorado Springs. But those first few weeks he’d spent with the puppy had clearly left an impression. The hair felt scratchy under his fingertips, just like he remembered, but the way the dog pressed against him, made him grin despite himself. At least the dog was a refuge he could count on in this house.

It wasn’t as though he didn’t care that Cam was dead, he thought, as Grace walked past him, her heels clicking on the tarmac as she strode up to the house to follow their parents inside. He did. He just had a feeling there was more to this death. More to the sadness and grief in his parents’ eyes and more to Grace’s anger. Not that that was entirely unusual either.

He scratched Winnie behind the ear, let the mutt lick his face and started towards the front door. As always, his gaze immediately landed on the family photo which his grandmother had taken years and years ago, and it made him smile and almost forget the resentment he sometimes felt towards his parents nowadays. He didn’t even know why that was. They hadn’t changed their attitudes towards hi,, but there were moments when he felt like he wasn’t part of something and the fact that he didn’t know what it was that he might be missing out on, nearly always drove him to go back to Chicago as quickly as possible. His father was already in the kitchen, making coffee while his mother was talking quietly to Grace. Again, a moment of familiarity he wasn’t exactly part of. But that was his own fault this time, wasn’t it?

Winnie stormed past him to sit on the couch in the living room to his right, as Caleb started towards the familiar paintings of his father and of old family pictures. There was that ancient one of course, probably the oldest photo in here: the one with his young parents and that sister he’d never even met. The three of them looked happy in this one. Happy and tired. And then there was that picture of him, on his first day in this world. His father had his arm around his mother, who was lying in a hospital bed, Caleb in his arms, against a backdrop of grey concrete. Boy, was Caleb glad the military hospital in Colorado Springs had since been renovated.

And then the one with his parents, himself and Grace in a meadow somewhere, probably just outside of town. Caleb couldn’t remember that moment, but he’d been too small, hadn’t he?

He always did this upon coming back home after a while. Look at the pictures and photos lining the walls. Greeting the house he and his sister had grown up in before sitting down to talk with his parents.

“Caleb?” his father called out to him, “do you want tea?”

“Yes, please!” Caleb called, back just barely keeping himself from telling his father that the tea he made was rubbish. His father, a great cook under any circumstances, just never got tea right. Neither, incidentally, did his English-born mother.

He took a step back and, as he took a deep breath, allowed himself another moment of peace as he heard the far away and comforting whispers of his mother, and surveyed the paintings his father had made. Often they were of water. Water in different moods. Sometimes azure, sometime peaked with yellow and white, sometimes almost orange, occasionally steel grey. There were pictures of fantastical skyscrapers, glass and steel reaching out to the heavens. There were paintings and drawings of ruins, most famously that ancient sketch of the ruins of Trier, where his parents had met almost forty years ago, when they’d both been his own age. In fact, there was barely any wall left to see anymore. The entire wall opposite the front door and the one leading up towards the bedrooms was lined with photos, drawings and paintings.

“Adam sent some shortbread, do you want some?”

“Yep!” Caleb called, turning towards the kitchen. On his next trip to Europe, he should really take some time to visit his uncle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, well Caleb’s a bit frustrated, Grace is a bit upset, and the parents are a bit of a mystery to the eldest son. In the next chapter there’ll be some Alex/Evan time, I promise.
> 
> So… what do you think? Any guesses on what might happen next? 😊 Let me know!


	4. Chapter 4

_2033_

It was way past midnight and he still couldn’t sleep. He wasn’t even thinking about anything in particular, but he was wide awake, staring up at the ceiling, a sense of unease keeping his mind from shutting down.

Maybe it was because Caleb was so reserved. Maybe it was because it upset him to see his daughter grieving. Maybe it was because he too had grown attached to Mitchell over the years. They’d worked together closely, ever since Mitchell took over from Landry to lead the SGC, after all.

Evan turned on his side to look out the window. There were times, even now, even almost twenty years later, when he missed the sound of the ocean crashing against the city. The wind whistling between the towers of Atlantis, lulling him to sleep. Their little apartment there had been home. A refuge in a city which was constantly bursting with life and action. And yet that place had been home, albeit a second one. And, yes, in a way he’d been relieved to return home, never mind the circumstances under which they’d come back, but he doubted a lot of people in the world had that luxury of falling asleep to the rushing of waves every night. Looking at the old paintings helped sometimes to recall that sound, but he didn’t want to get up now, fearing to wake the kids.

The kids… he barely held back a snort. They weren’t children anymore. Not really. But he very clearly remembered what his mother had said so often back in the day. That children would always remain children to their parents. And, yes, he knew that it wasn’t just _his_ mother who said that. Everybody did. Everybody agreed on it. Still, he also remembered how happy he’d been to escape his parents when he first joined the Air Force. How happy he’d been to be on his own.

Caleb had gotten that, and Evan and Alex had watched him go, doing everything in their power not to let him see how much it pained them to see him leave. And they had been. How could they not be, after everything they’d been through?

Grace hadn’t moved away exactly. She’d wanted to join the Air Force and follow in Evan’s footsteps, knowing full well they’d meet on campus every now and again. Knowing they’d have to follow the chain of command. Knowing she might have to take Alex’s or Daniel’s class at some point when she joined the special program. Well, things were going to get a hell of a lot more complicated, weren’t they?

Turning on his back again, he wiped his face. When were things ever not complicated? There was always something to make life a little harder than it needed to be, wasn’t there? Though, to be fair, there had been more complications in his and Alex’s life than there needed to have been.

As though she’d heard his thoughts, Alex shifted in her sleep, turning towards him. She looked so incredibly young and vulnerable when she was asleep. She always had and watching her, even after thirty years of marriage, still made his chest grow tight. Knowing how much they’d been through together, recalling every danger, every rescue, every instance where they’d had to rely on each other, only made him want to turn around and watch her sleep, even if he couldn’t sleep himself.

Her lips were slightly parted as she was breathing evenly, her eyes tightly shut. She was just perfect. The thought crossed his mind every day. Even when she infuriated him. Even when they fought. It didn’t happen often, but he got the feeling he needed to talk to her about his new assignment before he talked to Grace. She wouldn’t like it, he was sure of that.

She stirred, her eyelids fluttering, and he cursed himself for waking her by staring at her like this. She was perceptive. Even in sleep. She smiled at him, crow’s feet forming in the corners of her eyes. He loved every single line on her face. Every bit of grey showing up in her hair when she didn’t dye it on time. This was just right. Better than he ever thought it could be. They’d grown not just together, they’d grown old together, raised a family. And it wasn’t over yet. Not even close.

“Hey,” she whispered tonelessly, her eyes opening. “Happy anniversary.”

“Is it?” he chuckled, turning on his side.

“One of the few we have,” she said, coming closer to him and letting her hand slide up his side. A familiar touch, but in thirty years he hadn’t grown tired of it.

“I suppose,” he muttered. “I always rather celebrate this than my birthday, you know?”

She nodded. “You’ve said it every year.”

Chucking, he pulled her closer and kissed her forehead. “Just don’t tell the kids this was the day we hooked up. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“Harm’s done. Nothing for it,” she grinned up at him, the tips of her fingers now sliding over his chest, her eyes trailing to his lips, making them itch for her kiss.

He shook his head and brushed the hair out of her eyes. It was still thick and sleek at the same time, just reaching to her chin. It was just enough for him to hold on to. He knew what she was up to. The way her nostrils flared, the way she was smiling at him… he didn’t even have any objections, though he felt obligated to utter one: “The kids’ll hear us.”

“Oh, come on!” she laughed, leaning in, finally sealing his lips with a kiss.

“Sh,” he barely got out as she reached behind him to pull the covers over their heads, as though that might muffle all the sounds.

“They haven’t heard us in twenty-five years.”

“Or so we hope.”

“Evan…”

“Alexandra…”

She shuddered when he said her name, held his face and pulled him closer. He could only just make out the outlines of her face, but he didn’t need to see them to read her expression. He knew she wasn’t smiling. Neither was he. A sudden heaviness came over them as they lay there, her hands on his cheeks, his arms around her middle. The children were here. Not because it was his birthday, but because they’d come here for a funeral. The funeral of a friend. Of the man who had once tried (and failed) to repair their roof. Of the man who had taken Grace to her first baseball game, when Evan had been trapped off-world and Alex had to take care of a sick Caleb. 

“Alex, I think-“ he began, but he broke off when her index landed on his mouth.

“Can we not think for five minutes?”

“Five minutes?” he grumbled against her skin. She wasn’t all wrong. “Gee, you have confidence in me.”

“Honey, you’re the only man I’ve slept with for thirty-eight years,” she said, using the term of endearment as a joke. They had abandoned those in the early stages of their relationship. It made him laugh now. “I have every confidence in you.”

“Poor thing,” he grinned, leaning in to kiss her.

To undress her.

To feel her.

To feel how her body moved with his, echoed his movements in a familiar pattern, which was always the same and yet different every time. He clung to her, feeling his heart race and closing his eyes as her warm breath hit his skin as they were trapped under the covers. Shifting. Stifling their sounds as best they could. Losing themselves in each other for just a moment. In that familiar pattern, which had never grown stale. How lucky they were.

Her hand was buried in his hair when they lay still, her chest heaving heavily against his. She was holding on to him, catching her breath. Still that wonderful woman. Still that same person he’d fallen for, and yet so much more than just that beautiful tour guide. More than just that clever archaeologist. That fighter who had saved his life time and time again. More than the mother of his children. 

He kissed her cheek, breathing in her familiar scent. His heart was still pounding. Should he be worried about that? Swallowing hard he pushed himself up on his elbows. When had the blanket shifted? He could see her face more clearly now, as she lay beneath him, her legs still holding him trapped on top of her.

“Are you okay?” she asked hoarsely and he nodded absentmindedly. She let go of him and he sat up beside her.

“Yeah, I’m good,” he said.

Instead of asking another question, she put her arms around him and pulled him back, cradling him in her lap, stroking his cheek. He was starting to get sleepy. The exhaustion and her touch were enough. Gone were the days when he could stay awake for hours afterwards, talking to her. Gone were the days when he could go without proper sleep for days. And yet… “Alex, I’m worried about Grace.” Mitchell’s death had thrown things into perspective. No, he hadn’t died on a mission. He hadn’t died fighting the enemy, but it had been such a long time, since Evan had had to bury someone he knew. When Grace joined the Air Force, he’d known that one day they might have to bury her too, but it had never felt so real than it did right now. Did that make him a terrible person? To worry about his daughter, when he should be grieving a friend?

“Me too,” she said with a sigh. “But so were your parents. My mom was just lucky enough never to find out about what I really did for the Air Force.”

The prospect of maybe loosing another child to this, made something in his chest contract painfully and he reached for her hand.

_“This new planet is a nightmare,” Alex complained, pulling her hair back in a ponytail. “Seriously, who the fuck ever heard of an ocean with mosquitoes!”_

_“Yeah,” Evan breathed forcing the door to their balcony shut and watching Alex lying on her side. Just a brief moment of letting in fresh air instead of relying on the AC all the time. The ZPM had run out of juice on their way back to the Pegasus Galaxy and New Lantea, forcing them to land on the nearest habitable planet. It’d been Evan’s shift in the chair, and so it had fallen to him land the city. Not an easy task, but he’d managed. The relief all the members of the expedition had felt upon landing though, had been obliterated quickly enough when they realized they couldn’t open the windows without a swarm of blood-sucking insects swarming in on them within seconds. Of course, Parrish was thrilled by the news. They’d never encountered an ocean with floating islands of plants on them, which provided the perfect habitat for these buggers and the half-rodents who lived on these islands. It was pretty disgusting, he had to admit. The_ Daedalus _would bring mouse traps. “Sheppard says they may have found a lead to another Zero Point Module.” They still had enough juice to dial Earth once a week, but that was about it. Taking off and going to a nicer world, just wasn’t in the cards right now._

_“Ha!” Alex muttered, stroking her rounded belly and pulling Caleb towards her before he could even come close to falling off the bed._

_“You already wish you hadn’t signed up for it this time, don’t you?” He cocked his head and swatted at the mosquito buzzing by his ear. They weren’t really mosquitoes according to Parrish, but who gave a damn, really? These beasts were hell of annoying._

_“No,” Alex said, pulling a squirming Caleb closer and kissing the top of his head, “I just wish we could have landed on another planet. Anywhere else.”_

_Grinning, he sat down on the bed next to her. “We’ll get off this rock soon enough.”_

_“Hopefully before we find out these beasts were engineered by the Ancients to fight yet another vengeful enemy.”_

_“Come on, the Ancients didn’t screw up everything.”_

_“Maybe,” Alex agreed with a sigh and sat up, Caleb on her lab. She reached for Evan’s hand and kissed his knuckles. “Shall we go find out if we’re having another boy?”_

_His heart leapt at those words and he nodded. Another kid. Who’d have thought they’d be here at this point again? After all time it had taken them to conceive Caleb, he would never have thought Alex would get pregnant again… but maybe there was such a thing as fate after all. Maybe._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I promised, something new of Alex and Evan. My intention is to reveal what happened bit by bit. Would you care to guess?
> 
> Also, I have read the Legacy series, or rather, I’ve read most of it and if you have too, please consider this an AU. I really loved those books, but for once canon doesn’t work for me.


	5. Chapter 5

_2033_

Grace wouldn’t be there until at least nine o’clock. She’d have to go back on active duty that afternoon. Would she be going off-world? Would she just work in her lab? Probably not. That would have meant that she’d go in early, work until late afternoon (or until the next day) and go home.

It gave her a strange feeling thinking that she didn’t know these things anymore. Yes, she was still involved with the SGC, she’d never stopped, but she wasn’t up to date with day-to-day activities. Up until recently she’d managed to push back these thoughts. Ever since Evan wasn’t going off-world, except on training missions, she could easily forget the dread and the excitement she’d felt about going through the Gate. About five years ago, she’d gone through the Gate for the last time to consult a team on a temple they’d found. Caleb had already been at university then, Grace had just started at the Academy, and so Evan had come along too. For the first time in years and years they had been on a mission together.

Five years…. but she’d been out of the loop- the real loop- for much longer than that. Back in the day she wouldn’t have had to ask Grace where she was going next or what she was working on. She would have known, because these things, the general idea of things, were openly discussed at the SGC. But now… all she saw these days were expectant new members of the SGC, eager to learn about the cultures they’d encountered, about the history of the Stargate Program, the history of the galaxy as far as they knew about it by now. All she saw were classrooms, the books she, Daniel and Balinsky had written to help the new recruits along. She was more thoroughly involved in Academia than she would’ve thought possible when she first joined the SGC all those years ago.

Alex cradled the mug in her hands and raised it to her nose. The bitter-sweet scent of coffee made her stomach grumble. She was sitting on the porch to their backyard, where the sun was just grazing the hedge on the opposite side. It was already warm, and the day was promising to get hotter than yesterday had been.

Behind her she heard a familiar yawn, and a few moments afterwards Evan sat down next to her, a mug in his own hands. “You should have woken me.”

“Should I?” she asked, turning to face him. “Why?”

He sighed. “I don’t know.” Raising the mug to his lips, he smiled at her and took her left hand into his right.

Alex carefully put the mug on her knee and watched as he opened her hand and examined the barely visible whitish line. The scar. It’d been the first time she had ever been inside this house. They had sat in this very spot, then, barely touching, barely speaking. Drinking coffee. Not knowing what the future held in store for them. Really, it was typical of him to think of a moment like this on their anniversary.

“Happy birthday,” she said, making him grin as he probably recounted the previous night and the little talk they’d had. The little blush on his cheeks gave it away.

“Thanks.”

She quickly kissed him, tasting toothpaste and coffee, remembering his touches and greedy kisses of just a few hours ago and smiling against his lips. “I love you.” Weren’t their children here, she’d drag him inside and start all over again, but that would have to wait until that night. He would have to go into work, too, albeit later that day.

“Love you, too,” he nodded. It was not something they said often. They didn’t need to. It had never felt necessary to express it verbally.

Interweaving her fingers with his, she leaned against him. “Do you know where Grace is going?” she whispered, and he sighed, his hand squeezing hers gently, reminding her that he wasn’t really allowed to tell her, but that he also didn’t care about those rules.

“About that…-“

“Urgh, you two are terrible, you know that?”

Evan sighed again and she felt him shift as he put his arm around her. “Just you wait until you’re old and disgusting and then you’ll know how cool the two of us are, son.”

Caleb snorted behind them. “I said terrible, not disgusting. There’s a difference,” he mumbled and Alex heard the kettle starting to rumble softly behind them. She sat up a bit and looked at her son. He was standing by the bar, eyes trained on his mug, deliberately not looking at them. She was handsome, she realized, not for the first time, and a twinge of pride made her smile. He had his father’s eyes, his father’s chin and as he finally looked up at her, she saw that little cherub again. The one he’d been as a little boy. He still looked younger than twenty-five. “What?” he smiled at her and Alex found she couldn’t help but return that smile. He was done making his tea, a drink which he’d always preferred over coffee. Where had he picked that up? Probably from his uncle. Definitely not from her or Evan.

“Come, sit with us.”

With a low grunt, Caleb grabbed one of the kitchen chairs and set it down outside on the narrow porch. “Winnie doesn’t want to get up.” He held up a hand, telling them both to wait, then he went inside again.

“Lazy dog,” Evan grumbled. Next second the tell-tale sound of paper made him raise his eyebrows.

“When are you going to retire to drag the dog out of his laziness?” Caleb asked as he sat down and handed a square gift-wrapped package over to Evan. “Happy birthday.”

“One last assignment,” Evan said with a wink. “And thank you. You know, you didn’t have to get me anything.”

“I know, we have the same conversation twice a year. What did you get him, mom?”

“An art print.”

Evan looked up at her briefly, his eyes twinkling. She had given him an art print of a painting he’d told her about ages ago, and on their last vacation to Europe he’d shown it to her. He had stood there, still fascinated by the painting, staring transfixed at the woman and the men sitting around a table eating potatoes. But there’d been more than just a fascination with the painting, she realized. She’d seen something else rush over his face and it had taken her a moment to realize that it was sadness. That he remembered something. Something he recalled. It was almost like seeing that painting made him homesick. And as she took his hand and looked up at the painting, she couldn’t help but recall their little house on Larsa. They had talked about it so often over the years. About their life there. About the losses and the gains. Their lives. The spoons they’d taken from there and which hung on the wall in their kitchen today was a constant reminder of that time.

So much had started there and so much grief lingered there.

And yet he had smiled. Emotions were a funny thing sometimes. They rarely made sense. If there was anything Alex had learned through all of this, it was that.

He was smiling fully at her now, before he turned to the gift and started ripping away the dark blue paper to reveal a thick volume. He laughed out loud and leaned back to grin up at Caleb. “Van Gogh! Perfect! Thank you! Did you talk to each other about this?”

“No,” Caleb said, sipping his tea. “But you kept babbling about that museum in Amsterdam when we talked on the phone two weeks ago.”

“And it’s not even an e-book!” Evan kept grinning, making Caleb roll his eyes. 

“Ha ha…”

“No, this is great. Thank you.” He nodded appreciatively and opened the book in the centre. “Wish you could’ve come with us.”

“Dad… you know I was busy.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.”

“Some other time.”

Evan nodded, eyes trained on the book. Alex put a hand on his knee. It still fascinated her, the way he could look at art. Just stare for hours on end, forgetting his surroundings. It was so different from what he was like when he painted.

When he painted he was focused, but also completely in touch with the world around him, or at least with the object he was painting. When he was looking at a painting, or any other piece of art. He was grinning down at the page which showed sreetlights reflected in a sea of darkest blue, their blurred mirror image expanding towards the viewer and the couple who walked along a dark blue, unsteady river.

Evan would find other words to describe it. Better words. More accurate words, but he was quiet, looking down at it and tracing his fingers over the page.

“Yeah, that one kind of reminds me of some of yours,” Caleb said, looking over Evan’s shoulder. “Looks familiar, huh? The way you paint water, especially at night.”

Evan shut the book, maybe too quickly, or maybe Alex just thought he was doing it too quickly. Caleb didn’t suspect. He couldn’t. To him the paintings in their house, the few they’d put up upon returning, were the only ones they’d managed to get to Earth about half a year before they finally had to abandon the city. “Well, can’t say Mister Van Gogh didn’t influence me,” he smiled unconvincingly, looking at his watch. “But thanks for thinking I paint a bit like one of the greatest masters who ever lived.”

Caleb grinned mischievously. “Didn’t say that.”

Leaning against the pillar of the railing, Alex watched father and son as they started talking about the picture, joking and laughing. It was eerily hard to see them talk like this. Like friends. Somehow, when she was pregnant, she’d never thought of their child growing up to be such an incredible person. An adult. Wasn’t that weird? And it had happened far too quickly. And yet, she was proud. Proud of the man he was now. Proud of the woman his sister was, too.

“I’m gonna start making breakfast,” Alex said, but before she could even start getting up, Evan put his hand on her knee. “Nope, let me do it.”

Well, some things never changed, did they? Evan’s confidence in her cooking abilities for instance. Not that she could blame him.

Grace still looked tired when she arrived at the time they’d set the previous evening. For a second there Caleb even wondered whether she’d been crying, but the moment she greeted Winnie, the thought was driven clear from his mind. She was okay. Sad, yes, but okay. That probably was all he could expect. She’d always been overly fond of Cameron after all.

“So what’s new with you?” Grace asked, after they’d all settled at the kitchen table. The glass doors leading outside were wide open, letting in a soft summer breeze and allowing Winnie to head outside and back in again at will.

“I’m going on a research trip to Italy in a few weeks,” he said, reaching for the massive tea pot he’d have all to himself by the looks of it, ignoring his mother’s head snap up.

“Oh?” she said, her English accent more pronounced in that one syllable than usual. He caught his father smirk a bit, but she probably didn’t even notice. “Where?” She hadn’t been on a research trip in years, much less on a dig of any kind and that usually made her even more keen on hearing about Caleb’s.

“Castel del Monte. The surrounding area.”

She frowned at him and for a brief moment he saw a flicker or recognition and something else cross her face as her eyes widened for the fraction of a second. What was it? Fear? That seemed unlikely. “What does that have to do with your research?” she asked, a tad breathless and Caleb saw his father shift slightly in his chair. Immediately Alex reached for her mug and took another sip.

“Josh asked me to help out. And, I mean, there hasn’t been a whole lot of research done in that area, and Josh is trying to find evidence that the fortress wasn’t just a hunting lodge. I mean, it is unlikely, and the whole layout of the thing is completely futuristic for its time. No way to defend it and all. His guess is, according to some script he found in Alexandria, that there used to be a cloister nearby. Somewhere where monks might have lived and studied ancient texts. I mean, it’s still a bit fat-fetched maybe, but this is just the first research trip of many.”

Alex swallowed hard and nodded, her gaze turned on her plate.

“How is Josh?” his father asked casually, but Caleb couldn’t help but keep staring at his mother. What a weird reaction. “Anna mentioned he started teaching in New York?”

Caleb nodded once, feeling a twinge of annoyance as Grace put her hand on Alex’s arm. “Yeah,” Caleb mumbled. Josh Murdoch was probably Caleb’s oldest friend. His mother and Alex had been colleagues when Caleb was born, and his father, Oliver, had served with Evan before retiring to work for the private sector. “Yeah, he’s okay. Like I said, busy with research and he and I are collaborating on that project a bit.”

“Your mom and I have been thinking,” Evan said and Alex raised her eyes again, “about going on a trip this fall. We haven’t been to Trier in forever, and we wondered if you’d like to come along?”

Caleb barely held back a groan, but only when he caught his sister’s eye and her raised eyebrow. “Why?” Caleb coughed instead. 

“Because it’s where your mom and I met, and we’d like to show you around?”

Caleb shrugged. “I’m not sure I’ll have the time.” Just thinking of going there didn’t sound like a good idea. He’d never been to Trier, and he knew it must mean a lot to his parents, but what he didn’t want was to spend a week with his family, always trying to ignore the veil of secrecy. He knew his father had been involved with black ops, or something like it, he was well aware that his sister was working on some top secret project for the Air Force, but he hated that they always tread around the subject like he wasn’t even supposed to know there was a secret.

“Oh…” Alex said again, her face falling, but just a second, before she put on a half-hearted smile again that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Okay.”

There. He’d done it. He’d hurt her without meaning to, but the truth was, the prospect of spending an entire week or even more with his family, under this veil of half-hidden secrecy on top of everything, didn’t sound like an entirely happy prospect. Well, maybe he’d just have to grit his teeth and get it over with. His parents had always supported him, had always been loving and understanding, so why the hell shouldn’t he give it a try? He sighed, picked up his fork and started poking at the scrambled eggs on his plate. “I’ll see what I can do,” he muttered.

“Same here,” Grace said, sounding slightly disgruntled. Hang on, was she also not looking forward to that family trip? He raised an eyebrow at her, but she just shrugged and picked up a strip of bacon with her fingers.

“Caleb? I’d like to show you something,” Alex said quietly, putting down her own cutlery. 

“What?”

She wiped her mouth on the napkin and got up from her chair. “Come on, it won’t take long.”

Well that certainly sounded ominous. He stood up, picked up his mug and followed her out into the hall. She was heading to the bookshelf in the living room, waving him over with an excited smile. But Caleb made the mistake of looking back over his shoulder. At his father, leaning over to Grace and muttering quietly to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I'm referring to "The Potato Eaters" by Van Gogh, the painting Lorne mentions in the audio drama "Impressions". But I also wanted to mention another painting by Van Gogh, which I really really like: "Starry Night over the Rhône", since I kind of expect Lorne's painting style to sometimes reference Van Gogh's? Might just be me ;)


	6. Chapter 6

**  
**

_2033_

This whole situation was unorthodox to say the least.

“I’m taking over command at the SGC.” 

The words hat struck her. If anything, she thought he’d told her he’d retire, but instead he had told her about his new assignment. As her commanding officer of all things! Yes, these sort of entanglements were highly unusual to say the least, but she recalled very well that the on-base surgeon, Doctor Lam, had been General Landry’s daughter, and she had served here for over twenty years already. First under her father, then under General Mitchell.

And yet… she wasn’t sure how she felt about him taking command. Why he wanted to do it, she couldn’t even begin to guess, but when she found herself thinking that he should just take bloody retirement already, she realized that she was angry.

Standing at the ramp leading up to the Gate, she looked up at the briefing room, where Colonel Davis was standing now, and where her father would be waiting for her when she got back. Davis was just here to oversee the transfer and he’d leave to go back to Washington right after the ceremony. A ceremony which she would miss.

Was it worse to know the first time she’d see her father again would be up in that briefing room?

A promotion at his age. It was a bit unusual, but she got why he was being promoted. After all, he’d served the Air Force for decades, had gone through so much and had done even more, not just for this country, but for this world. And hadn’t he been part of the team to push back the Furlings eventually? Hadn’t he been on that Wraith Hive when it attacked Earth? Well, he’d gotten the promotion to Colonel when the second Atlantis expedition took, off, but still. Of course he was bound to receive another promotion. Why now though? This was her turf. Couldn’t he have been posted somewhere else? On another ship like the _Hammond?_

_Service Before Self._

She knew her father took this very seriously. And she knew taking command of the SGC can’t have been an easy decision to make, neither for him, nor for the people in charge. There was always a chance he'd be accused of favouritism should something go wrong, but somehow she doubted her father would ever favour her before anyone else. His record was as spotless as it was possible to be. And besides, he was one of the few veterans still involved with the Stargate Program and since there was next to no war going on right now, they had settled for someone familiar with it all. All in all, it was better to have a military man in charge rather than some civilian, hell bent on changing the way the SGC operated.

Even if it was her father.

Even if she could forget any sort of promotion for as long as he was in charge. Well, she wasn’t that old. He would retire in a year or two. Maybe she wouldn’t be a Captain at twenty-five like he had been, but she’d get that promotion eventually.

“Lorne, you coming or what?” Ferretti asked. She was already standing by the Gate, her gun at the ready. This was a humanitarian mission, but that didn’t mean they could just walk unarmed into a situation they couldn’t exactly control.

“Yeah,” Grace sighed, following her superior officer through the Gate.

“I didn’t know you had to work today, Dad,” Caleb said. He was sitting on the stairs. It’d always been his favourite place to sit in the house weirdly enough. Even when he was studying for school, reading books, ranting about Grace…

“Just a couple of hours.” He had to be there to go through the ceremony that would take place the next morning, long before Grace and her team were due back. In a way he was glad his daughter wouldn’t be there. He’d have some time to start settling in. “And tomorrow. I’ll be there tomorrow night.”

Caleb huffed, disgruntled. “Right. I’ll just see if Lucas is home.”

There it was again. That pang he always felt when he remembered there was this whole part of his life that he hadn’t told Caleb about yet. In a way he had been relieved when Grace joined the SGC. At least ever since then he’d been able to talk to her about it. And she was more at ease with the whole situation, with the fake birth certificate and with the lies he and Alex had told them growing up. Because she knew about keeping secrets. She knew about the necessity for them. But Caleb… Caleb would be angry. He already was.

One day he would have to tell him and hang the consequences. “Sure,” he said, and the way his voice sounded fake made him turn his back on his son as he slung the tie around his neck.

“Caleb, do you want to go on a walk with Winnie and me?” Alex chirped in from the kitchen. She couldn’t have heard the conversation, but Evan was grateful for the alternative she was offering their son right now. Because Lieutenant Lucas Quinn was off-world with Grace right now.

Caleb sighed, but he didn’t sound too annoyed. “Sure. Can we go shopping after? I’d like to cook tonight. Grace is coming, right?”

Evan gave himself exactly two seconds to arrange his features. Lying to reporters was child’s play. Lying to his parents had been easy. At least in comparison to this… and hadn’t his father found out a good part of what was going on on his own? He turned around and caught Caleb frowning at him despite his words.

“I don’t know. Guess she said something about having to work late,” Evan said, catching Alex’s eye. Well, this was going to be harder than he would have thought possible.

“No offense,” Ferretti said when they’d passed through the Gate and arrived on the other side. Grace had been on this planet once before and she was almost glad Major Miller and Lieutenant Quinn weren’t waiting for them but had already started walking towards the settlement which was located about five clicks away from the Gate on another hill.

“But?” Grace prompted, taking the sunglasses out of her vest pocket and putting them on.

“No offense, but why didn’t they get Colonel Carter to take the helm here at the SGC?”

Grace sighed. Captain Ferretti, whose father had served with O’Neill during the first mission to Abydos, surely wouldn’t be the last person to ask Grace that question. “She refused,” Grace answered. “At least that’s what he told me.”

“Mind, I don’t envy you,” Ferretti muttered as she took off her cap, shook it about and then put it back on her dark brown hair. “I’d hate for my old man to be in charge like this.”

Only that Louis Ferretti was well in his seventies by now.

“Well, can’t be helped,” Grace said, following Quinn and Miller down the slope. “We’re gonna have to make the best of it. And, to be fair, I’m glad he told me as soon as he knew. They didn’t tell him until a few hours before the funeral, apparently.”

“Hm,” Ferretti grunted and shrugged. “Let’s just hope they don’t ask your mom to sign back on. Or Jackson. I’d hate to have to wait for them to catch up every time we have to pick up the pace.”

Grace just grinned and didn’t reply as they did indeed pick up the pace to catch up to their team leader. Ferretti would be surprised at how fit both her mother and father still were. “Although,” she said the moment they’d caught up to Quinn and Miller, “you’d have to agree we could use another archaeologist here.”

“My dad’s been saying something like it for a while now,” Quinn said. Another son of a former SGC veteran, and like Grace he was born on Atlantis. The son of the survivor of a long-lost civilization and a Canadian, he’d been raised after the fall of Atlantis and had joined the Air Force the same year Grace had.

“Your dad’s still in the loop?” Major Miller asked, her eyebrows raised.

Quinn bit his lip and shrugged. “Well he worked at the SGC until five years ago, didn’t he? And nowadays he just has to ask me who’s still there and who replaced who?”

Miller shrugged. “If we’re not careful they’re gonna start calling us the Next Generation team.”

“If I’m not mistaken,” Ferretti added, “that’s exactly what General Mitchell called us the moment we got together.”

Miller shrugged. “Don’t tell my uncle,” she muttered.

“Doctor McKay would love that,” Quinn added grinning at Grace. “Wouldn’t you agree?”

_Grace and Caleb were both waiting by the car, their backpacks almost as big as they both were. Caleb wasn’t even on his phone, but just kept staring at the clear blue sky, yawning loudly. His younger sister took off her own backpack, placed it between her tiny feet, folded her arms over her chest and kicked at a nearby pebble which Charles had dropped there the previous day._

_Charles was yapping at his feet now, demanding his attention and Evan knelt down to stroke his head. Behind him, he heard Alex cleaning up the kitchen._

_After two weeks of quarantine, it was nice seeing the kids outside, waiting to go to school. And they must be looking forward to it as well. Already they were getting bored. Frankly, he wasn’t too happy about staying at home full-time either. There was no training at the Academy or travel to training facilities on other planet at the moment, never mind missions to go on. No use spreading this virus throughout the galaxy._

_“Evan…” he heard Alex say and he grinned at her over his shoulder. The sun wasn’t shining through the window in the kitchen yet, but it would in a couple of hours. “You-“_

_“Sh!” he raised his index to his lips and slowly got up to look at his children through the dining room window. He’d sent them out to wait for him by the car._

_“Come on, it’s still cold out there.”_

_“Yeah, yeah I’m going,” he said quietly, patting Charles one more time and moving over to the front door._

_As he opened it, neither Caleb, nor Grace looked up at him. They were both bored. Both still tired. Granted, they were up earlier than they had been in two weeks._

_“Hey guys,” he called out to them and Grace’s head shot up first, her blond hair catching a ray of sunlight just right. God, they both looked so much like their mother. For a moment, he felt that familiar pang that always hit him when looking at his kids. There should be three. But the pain was felt and ignored quickly enough. “Can you tell me what day it is?”_

_Schools all over the country had been closed for two weeks now. This morning he had woken them up to take them to school again. It was high time, he’d said._

_“Huh?” Grace said, pulling an earpiece out and looking at him with a frown._

_Caleb rolled his eyes. “Come on, Dad, let’s just go! It’s Wednesday!”_

_“Can you tell me the date?”_

_Grace looked at her brother and muttered something. Something he could only barely make out. “April first.”_

_There was silence for a moment. Caleb’s eyes widened as the realization hit him. With a groan, he threw his backpack to the ground. “You’ve got to be kidding me!” He grunted. “April Fools’ Day.”_

_Grace whirled around, outrage driving the fatigue clear from her blue eyes. “Dad!” she shrieked running towards the front door, her long hair flowing behind her as Caleb laughed and yet clearly irritated by his father and by himself for believing it. There was no school. Not today. Not for the next couple of weeks._

_“Got ‘em!” Evan shouted over his shoulder at his wife as he opened the door for Grace to stomp back inside and throw her own school bag on the floor._

_“You’re a mean man, Colonel Lorne.”_

_“I know,” Evan grinned at his son, who now trudged back up the stairs._

_“I’ll get you next year, dad.”_

_“That’s what you said last year, son. Good luck.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can see I added a little flashback at the end. I feel like the current situation mertis a couple of mentions in this story. After all, it’s what we’re all going through right now. I hope you guys are okay!
> 
> That last scene/flashback was inspired by a video which Mark Hamill posted on Instagram today and I couldn’t resist.
> 
> Take care, everyone!


	7. Chapter 7

_2033_

His shirt was soaked with sweat, his heart pumping. This had started happening a lot recently, but he’d be damned if he went to visit a doctor because of it. It was just the lack of stress. He knew it must be. He wasn’t constantly on edge anymore. He wasn’t yearning to go to bed after a long day at his desk.

Of course it was harder to fall asleep when he hadn’t had a full day of work behind him. At least that’ was what he told himself. Not a particularly healthy habit he had gotten himself into.

The light wasn’t on downstairs, which made him almost scream when he heard a voice coming from the living room on his left.

“Is everything okay?” His mother’s voice. Just her. Of course it was her… who else would it be?

Swallowing hard, he shrugged. “Yeah, why don’t you have the light on?”

“Dozed off,” she said quietly, stretching. He could see her silhouette now. He reached over to the light switch, but she was faster, turning on the reading lamp next to the sofa. She was lying on the sofa, a book forgotten and face-down on the carpet in front of her and a blanket draped over her despite the residual warmth still stuck inside the house.

“Dad’s still not here?”

She shook her head and rubbed her eyes. She’d always done that: stayed up, all night if she had to, when her husband was late to show up from work. Really, Caleb shouldn’t have expected his father to be on time. Not on his first day of a new assignment. Why his mother looked worried though, he couldn’t say.

“I was going to fetch some water. Do you want something?”

Once more she shook her head and Caleb hesitated for a moment, wondering whether or not he should go inside and talk to her first. They’d spent the entire day together: walking, or rather, hiking, picking up groceries, cooking and having dinner when the birthday boy didn’t show up after all. It was surprising to sense that feeling of abandonment creeping up on him now. He was almost twenty-five years old, so why the hell did it hurt that his dad didn’t show up for dinner? A newly-appointed general had duties after all. And Caleb knew that. So why? He went into the kitchen, filled two glasses of water from the tap and when he got back to the living room, he saw that his mother hadn’t moved at all.

Alexandra Lorne was still a beautiful woman, he thought, even in her early sixties. But a mother would always be the most beautiful woman to her son. Hadn’t he heard that somewhere once? Yes, he thought with a smile, as he sat down on the sofa next to her, handing her the glass she hadn’t asked for. “I just remembered that movie you made us watch when we were kids.”

“Which one?” she asked, her blue eyes twinkling with amusement. She didn’t look well-rested at all. Who could blame her? It was past midnight and she’d spent the last hours sleeping on this sofa, which was way too soft and far too old to still be comfortable.

“The one with that cheesy young boy who lives in America with his mom, but then has to go to England to become his grandfather’s heir? The grandfather was Obi-Wan?”

“Ah,” Alex said, nodding. “Little Lord Fauntleroy.” She held the glass close to her chest and looked out the window again.

“Do you still wait up for him? Even now?” His dad wasn’t even a full-time training instructor after all. From what Caleb knew, and he doubted he knew a whole lot, Evan Lorne spent most of his time at his desk.

“Hm,” she said, pulling her legs close to her chest and wrapping her arm around it. “I only started waiting up for him every time after you were born. Before that it was only sometimes.”

“Did you pick that up from your mom?” Her father had been a military man himself. He’d died a long time before Caleb was born. Why Alex had chosen to marry a pilot in the Air Force after her own father had been shot down when she was only twelve years old, he’d never understand. Love was stupid that way, probably.

“No,” Alex said, shrugging. She rarely talked of her father, but Caleb knew the marriage of her own parents hadn’t been half as harmonic as that between his parents was. “They fought a lot. I think she didn’t like it that he was away so much, and when he got back home, it always took them forever to get back in sync. Sometimes I think they would have gotten a divorce if Dad hadn’t died.”

“Huh,” Caleb said, who couldn’t exactly picture his ancient grandmother getting angry at someone. Probably a grandson’s privilege. “What does Adam say about that?”

“We never really talked about it to be honest. Not about the divorce thing, but he saw and heard a lot more of the fights.”

Caleb nodded again. His uncle Adam was four or five years older than his mother. “You and dad don’t fight, do you?”

A shadow crossed her face and she shrugged. “We do. Guess it’s a good sign you’ve never really seen us when we’re at our worst. I mean… we did break up once, so we haven’t always been as good at making up again.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t break up because you were fighting.”

“True… but we were cowards, both of us. A good fight and a proper reconciliation might have done us some good back then.” She smiled and patted his knee. “Come on, why are you asking this stuff?”

“I just… I just wondered… seeing you still up.”

“Not exactly up, you know?”

Caleb laughed, relieved. Somehow it was easier talking to his mother these days, an no matter how much he hated that, he felt almost relaxed now. “I had a bit of a nightmare.”

“Want to talk about it?” she asked. Caleb knew she had her fair share of nightmares herself every now and again, though _she_ never talked about them. At least not to him.

He sighed. “Nothing unusual. Just the ordinary running through corridors dream. It feels so real every time, but I have no idea what’s going on. I guess that’s what bothers me most about them. Not knowing.”

“Hm,” she said, staring pensively at her knee. “Happens quite often in dreams, you know? A seemingly never ending state of being stuck in the unknown?”

“Yes,” Caleb sighed again, drained his glass and got up again. “I’m going to bed again.” What bothered him was not that he didn’t know what he was running from in those dreams. What bothered him was that it was always the same dream. The same set of corridors. The same fear in his mother’s voice as he hoisted him up and carried him. What bothered him was that it all felt too real. But he couldn’t tell her that, could he? She’d tell him to see a shrink. “You’ll be at Dad’s promotion ceremony tomorrow?” Why his father was being promoted was a bit of mystery to Caleb, but he knew very well that his dad had friends in high places and they were probably keen to have him in a full-time office job in a non-essential command position before he retired. Maybe as a thank you for years of service.

“No.” Alex cradled her own glass against her chest. “I’ll be right here with you.”

“You spent a fair amount of time at Cheyenne Mountain, didn’t you? At NORAD?”

“Hm.” Shrugging, she looked out of the window again. She’d been a consultant there, before teaching languages at the Academy. She was no linguist, but again, her connections must have gotten her the job there. What else should an archaeologist who hadn’t published a single paper in over twenty years have done, except retire? But his mother had always been too energetic for retirement, no doubt about that. And somehow Caleb doubted even that desk job wouldn’t keep his dad from throwing in the towel.

“It was a weird time,” she said with a smile.

_“Could you take him for a while? He’s getting heavy!”_

_Evan turned around and frowned at her. Why was she even carrying him_ and _the backpack full of books? It wasn’t as though they were in a rush. Frowning, he set down the crate and rushed back towards her. “You could have just waited up on the_ Daedalus _, or in the control room,” he said. They had exited the transporter about five minutes ago and it wasn’t far until they were back at their apartment._

_Alex scoffed and gratefully placed little Caleb in his arms. She wasn’t wrong, he realized, as he held his son close to his chest, those blue eyes looking up at him as though they wanted to ask a very important question._

_“Not a chance,” she breathed, massaging her bump. “I want to get settled straight away and get to work.”_

_Evan stared at Caleb, his eyes just as wide as his son’s before he blew a raspberry at him. As usual the sound made Caleb laugh out loud and he stretched out both his hands to touch Evan’s cheeks, urging him to do it again. Evan obeyed without hesitating, ignoring the Marines walking past them and eyeing the three of them._

_“You’ve been working the whole trip,” Evan argued. After arriving back in Pegasus, they had only spent about a month here, before they were both called home._

_She leaned in and kissed his cheek. “Okay, I’m good now, give him back.”_

_“D’you want us to carry that crate, Sir?”_

_Evan looked over his shoulders at the Marines. Neither of them was new to this expedition. They knew Alex and Caleb. They probably knew a whole lot about him, too. But he didn’t mind. He’d stopped taking everything so seriously in regards to airmen he outranked a few months ago. He didn’t mind them seeing him with his family. Mainly because his family had become even more important than ever before. And by now everybody was fully aware of the three of them. No… four… soon there’d be four Lornes here on Atlantis._

_“Yeah, thanks.”_

_The older man, the one with the short, bristly red hair nodded once and picked up the metal box Evan had been carrying. “Your apartment?”_

_Evan nodded again, ignoring Caleb patting his cheek. “Thanks.”_

_“Sorry for your loss, Colonel,” the younger man said, his dark eyes sincere as he looked him in the eye._

_“Thank you, Sergeant.” And he meant it. Somehow, even roughly two weeks after the funeral, he still couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that his mother was dead. It might take him some more time to really understand what that meant._

_Alex’s hand was on the small of his back when the two Sergeants turned their backs on him and Alex and started heading for their old quarters. She wasn’t smiling at him but reached up to brush her hand through his hair. God, he was so grateful to have her with him._

_Caleb patted his chin and, obediently, Evan blew a raspberry against Caleb’s cheek, making his son shriek with laughter. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the older Sergeant look at them over his shoulder and smile._

There simply wasn’t enough space in the Embarkation Room for the ceremony. Only a small number of people were there to witness the transfer, considering how many people worked here and off-world.

His head was starting to spin just thinking about it. Five hundred of the eight hundred people stationed on the twelve off-world bases were military. One thousand people worked more or less constantly from Stargate Command.

Then there was research and recruitment at the Academy.

Pilots.

Doctors.

Scientists.

The crews of ships.

All of them under his command. Roughly three thousand souls were his responsibility now. And then there was Grace. She wasn’t even here right now… not that she’d be asked to be present at the ceremony, given her low rank in one of the newest teams, but still… there were so many unfamiliar faces in this all-too familiar room for his liking. Maybe he was too old for this, after all.

Not even Alex was here. Not only could he not have asked her to come here, because Caleb was still at home, but unless she was asked to visit the facility for her expert opinion, she had no place there. Not anymore. Not right now.

Well… maybe some other time.

The men and women were standing at attention, watching on as their new commanding officer was sworn in, were familiar. He’d help train most of them. He knew a few of those face from his own time here at the SGC. Well… he knew two. Lam and Beckett.

Evan told himself he wasn’t nervous. And why should he be? Earth and her allies weren’t facing any immediate threat, after all! The size of Stargate operations had been cut down drastically. Really, three thousand people under his direct command wasn’t a huge number in comparison to what Hammond, O’Neill, Landry and Mitchell had had to face.

Hammond.

O’Neill.

Landry.

Mitchell.

Of these four names only one was still living and breathing. Four men, whose footsteps he would have to follow now. If he was honest, he wasn’t entirely sure he was up for it.

God, how he wished Alex was here. Just knowing she was in the crowd had given him a massive boost of confidence when he’d received his silver oak leaf and then, later on, the silver eagle. A very long time ago, she’d been there for his first promotion, too.

He took a deep breath when he’d received his new insignia and it was time for his speech, he approached the podium. About a hundred people. That’s how many were assembled here. The few civilians were almost copying the straight backs of their military counterparts, except maybe the member of the IOA. It was strange, he thought, for a brief moment, how very much like Woolsey that fifty-something French woman looked. Not exactly because she resembled him physically, but the way she never seemed to smile. The way she looked at him with thinly-veiled disapproval. The way she held herself. Jacqueline Bisset didn’t look like she approved of his appointment. But then again, Evan hadn’t warmed up to Woolsey until he was leader of Atlantis.

Did people here feel towards him the way he had felt towards Woolsey at first?

Clearing his throat, he touched the podium and let his eyes wander over the faces looking up at him.

Three thousand all in all. Luckily there were only about a hundred here now.

He only got the first word out, before a familiar siren started sounding around them. Red lights started flashing and within seconds his body was back on familiar turf. Only that this was his command now. His job to tell everyone to clear the way for the airmen guarding the Gate.

“Unscheduled off-world activation,” a strange voice was saying. Not Walter. Walter Harriman had been retired for years.

“Clear the Gate Room,” he ordered, though he didn’t really need to. The space below the ramp was clear within seconds, the iris closed before the wormhole engaged. This hadn’t happened in weeks, he knew. But things could still go wrong. On every damn mission.

He took off his cap as he pushed past the airmen aiming at the Gate.

Evan’s eyes darted across the room and he approached Freeman, whose long dark hair was held back in a severe bun at the base of her neck. “Who is it?” Evan asked, Davis right by his side already. His eyes darted up to the holo-screen, at a familiar depiction of the Gate and the little window in its centre depicting the transmission of a GDO-code.

“It’s SG-8, Sir.”

His heart sank. Grace’s team. On their way back ahead of time. “Open the iris.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops. Cliffhanger. Sorry!
> 
> Most of you might not know the movie “Little Lord Fauntleroy” starring Sir Alec Guinness, but it’s one Germans watch every Christmas, and I have this headcanon that Alex and Evan would have picked up watching that movie every year somewhere along the line. After all, they’ve been close friends with Anna for such a long time.


	8. Chapter 8

_“It’s Major Murdoch’s team.”_

_Evan stood rooted to the spot at the bottom of the stairs. The flashes of bright yellow against the transparent shield made him stop breathing. It couldn’t be. No, no, it couldn’t._

_“Lower the damn shield!” he hollered up at Chuck, taking a few steps towards the Gate as his view was blocked by the Marines with their guns raised swarming in to protect the city against possible intruders.._

_The shield was dropped. Murdoch’s team was too early. They’d come back far too soon. And they were under fire. Alex was under fire._

_The clear blue of the event horizon seemed to fill his vision as energy blasts rushed through the embarkation area, scorching the ancient set of stairs just seconds before the Jumper crashed through the event horizon and the shield was up again seconds later. The ship itself looked alright._

_“Medical team to the Jumper Bay,” he heard Chuck say and Evan cursed himself for not going up to the control room first. The Jumper slowly moved up into the Bay and Evan pushed away one of the Marines to get to Chuck, his head starting to work properly again._

_They were back._

_That was the first thing he needed to know._

_“Who’s injured?” he asked, though he needn’t have asked. Chuck was as white as a sheet._

_“Rick,” he croaked. “Unconscious.”_

_Evan hated himself for feeling slightly relieved, but the one single thought kept echoeing in his head and he hated himself for it._ Not Alex _. “Go,” he said quietly, gesturing one of the new technicians to move forward and take Chuck’s seat. Chuck had no place here. Not if his husband was injured. But Chuck hesitated, just for a brief moment and Evan knew exactly what he must feel like. “Go, Livingston,” he said more urgently, his heart aching to go himself. He tapped his radio the moment Chuck got up to rush up the stairs. The woman taking Chuck’s place shook her head, confirming what he was hearing himself. No other injuries. No casualties. Well, that was something at least._

_The Marines stood down and out of the corner of his eye Evan saw Woolsey standing not five feet from him. How long had Woolsey been standing there?_

_Woolsey nodded once. “Check up on them, Colonel,” he said calmly. “You can tell them to meet me in the briefing room in an hour.” He could just as easily radio in these orders, but Evan was fully aware that Woolsey was giving him an opportunity here._

_“Yes, Sir,” he muttered before rushing up the stairs._

_2033_

The feeling was familiar and yet completely new. That sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach. As though he’d stepped into nothingness, while he watched on as the iris opened infinitely too slowly.

The blue drapes on either side of the Gate made it look even more otherworldly when the first energy blasts came through the Gate, hitting the energy shield protecting the control room.

Evan blinked, his hands balled into fists as he willed for his daughter to come through. To be unharmed.

The first person through the Gate was Quinn. Evan met his gaze through the haze of smoke in the Gate Room. The trace of panic and relief was also far too familiar. Miller was next. Ferretti…

Evan was holding on to the back of the technician’s chair, ignoring Davis by his side and confident that the airmen down below would easily hold off any enemy that might come through the Gate.

And there she was. Evan let out a long breath and closed his eyes when he saw Grace stumbling onto the ramp, her blond hair a mess, the right arm of her uniform singed, but apart from that she appeared to be okay. He clapped the technician on the shoulder and hurried to get into the Gate Room, down the small set of stairs and through the metal sliding door. Already a medical team led by Doctor Beckett was standing by, their attention to Grace who seemed to be telling them that she didn’t need help. The airmen were already retreating.

“What happened?” he found himself asking, his eyes fixed on Grace when he should have been looking at Miller, the team leader. Miller… it struck him out of nowhere. Miller had been the name of Alex’s therapist, right after Nora. It was not an unusual name, not at all, but it still gave him a pang.

Grace looked at him curtly, but that moment when their eyes met and he saw that she was actually okay, gave him the strength to look at Miller again. No relation to the psychiatrist, he reminded himself. Rodney McKay’s niece… how many relatives of old Stargate personnel were working here anyway?

“Major?”

“Sir, the village wasn’t there anymore.”

“Excuse me?”

Grace cleared her throat and pushed Beckett away. “Just a crater.” That tone of voice. The way she looked at him. She didn’t sound like his daughter. She didn’t move like his daughter. The woman looking him straight in the eye wasn’t the little girl he’d held in his arms minutes after she was born. “Blown away apparently.”

Miller nodded and wiped her brow. “Looked like it. We were looking around when we came across raiders of sorts. There were still some houses on the outskirts of the village, closer to the fields. I guess that’s where those raiders were headed.” She looked over her shoulder at her team. At Quinn and Ferretti and Grace. “Nothing we couldn’t handle, Sir.”

Evan nodded grimly. “Get checked out anyway. Debriefing in an hour.”

Miller nodded, turned on her heel and headed for the exit leading towards the elevators, Quinn and Ferretti right behind her. Grace stood there for a moment, her eyes trained on his and for a moment there he thought he saw a trace of apprehension on her face, then she sighed and shrugged. “Right then, General,” she said quietly, the words twisting his guts. “Welcome back.”

Caleb was sitting on the stairs again, a tablet on his knees. He was as passionate about drawing as his father, though he’d stopped working with canvases and paper a few years ago. He preferred drawing digitally, like so many young artists did nowadays.

Alex had gone to work for a couple of hours that morning, but she’d only had three classes to teach, so she returned home, instead of barricading herself in her office and getting some work done looking over the artefacts which a new team had brought in the other day. She, Daniel and Jonas worked from the Academy nowadays, since their offices had been taken over by younger scientists who went on missions regularly. Daniel frequently joked that they were the Area 51 of the archaeology department at the SGC, trying to scrape together anything the new archaeologists had missed. Just in case. There usually wasn’t a whole lot to find.

“What are you drawing?” she asked, sipping her coffee and watching her son stare at his tablet, the thin stylus held lightly between his fingers.

“Hm,” Caleb grunted without looking up. He twirled the stylus once then snapped it against the edge of his tablet, where it stayed put. “I don’t know…” Getting up, he put the tablet under his arm and moved over to the wall opposite the front door where most of Evan’s paintings hung. Caleb had always insisted they don’t hang up his own paintings, had even taken them down if they did it anyway, so, after a while, they’d accepted his wishes. A shame, Alex thought, sipping her coffee and watching Caleb look intently at the painting in the centre of the wall. The towers of Atlantis, set against a sky of blue and white. Evan had made it on New Lantea, or rather, he’d started working on it there. After an explosion had killed several people that day, he’d put it aside for a while.

“People don’t believe me when I tell them my dad, a Colonel in the Air Force, paints.”

“Mc- A colleague once said that science is an art. And there are a lot of good scientists in the Air Force.” She’d almost given names. McKay had said this. About Carter specifically. Not about Alex of course. He’d never say that archaeology or linguistics was a science. It had taken him years to concede that medicine counted as part of that category.

“What are you saying?”

“That creativity is important, I guess.”

“Not when following orders.”

Alex found herself smiling. “I guess you could say that depends?”

Caleb snorted and looked at her, his hands in his pockets and the tablet pressed against his side. “Right. Being creative while following orders is not the sort of thing that gets you promoted to General, is it?”

“No.” Alex looked down at her mug, wishing she could talk more openly.

“What is?”

She found she couldn’t answer. In an organic conversation with Grac,e she’d talk about General O’Neill who was more creative than anybody else she’d ever met when it came to following protocol or orders. Like when he’d assigned her to Evan’s team when they were sent to Pegasus.

There were so many things they couldn’t discuss. So many baby pictures he’d never get to see, because they hadn’t been sanctioned by the Air Force or the IOA. She’d still smuggled them onto her home computer. But they were password protected.

Caleb was looking at her, willing her to look up, but she couldn’t. Lying to her children hadn’t been her strong suit. It still wasn’t. And it wasn’t easier now that Grace was in on the secret as well.

She shrugged and forced her mouth to open. “Years of good service? Leadership potential.” There. No lie in there. Just a massive omission of facts. Of telling his son that his father had risked his life for this planet and this galaxy time and time again. That he’d led airmen, scientists, Jaffa and Tok’ra in battle. That he’d been the one to deal the Furlings the final blow.

“You know more than you’re saying.”

Alex swallowed hard and shook her head, knowing full well that that gesture didn’t mean anything. Caleb had caught on to the fact that they were not telling him something. He’d been suspecting it for years now, she knew that. They had fought about it several times, and she wished she could tell him, but why? For what?

_But what harm would it do? He deserves to know._

The fact was, she didn’t want another child of hers to be involved with the dangers of the SGC, no matter how much she had loved working there herself. And she hated how selfish that sounded. But wasn’t it enough that Grace was stationed under Cheyenne Mountain? Wasn’t it enough that they’d lost Nora?

She blinked and forced her head up. Caleb was still standing by the painting. The corridors he’d talked about. Was he dreaming of Atlantis? Not very likely. He’d been three years old at the time of the evacuation.

The sound of the car outside was a relief. She turned to look out of the window by the front door to see Evan get out of the driver’s seat. Just in time… like he’d almost always been these past years.

“Well, I’ll be upstairs. I better start packing, anyway.”

“Caleb…”

“I get that Dad has his secrets. I get that.”

Her heart sank when she met Caleb’s gaze. She almost wished she could see pain there, but all she saw was anger.

“I don’t get why _you_ shut me out as well.”

“Caleb, we’re not shutting you out,” she said, knowing that she was lying. Evan’s footsteps on the porch outside weren’t helping.

“I mean, do you even know what it’s like? You and Grace and Dad keeping secrets like this?”

The door opened and Evan was standing right there in front of them, his eyes on Caleb. “What’s going on?” he asked, sounding tired and taken aback by the hostility facing him before he’d even had a chance to greet them. She could see that he hadn’t had a good day. Something had gone wrong.

“Nothing,” Caleb huffed, his eyes darting to the tips of his naked feet.

“Oh, come on.”

“No,” Caleb said, shoulder sagging. He’d seen it too. The weariness in his father’s eyes. He’d always done this. He’d always taken a step back when Evan came home looking like this. “I-“ he broke off and shook his head. Raising the tablet, he clutched it against his chest. “I’m sorry, mom.”

He looked even younger now and seeing him like this tore at her heart. Evan was smiling wearily as he closed the door behind him and ignored the dog rushing up to greet him excitedly. With a few steps he’d crossed the room and enveloped Caleb in his arms. “I’m glad you’re home, son,” he said and Caleb tentatively raised his free hand to return the hug.

“I hate those secrets,” Caleb muttered and Evan nodded. He’d sensed it too, then. The way Caleb felt like he wasn’t part of this family. Not entirely. And he was wrong. So incredibly wrong.

But Evan didn’t respond either. He just held Caleb in a tight embrace, his eyes closed. “Me too,” Evan said quietly after he finally let go of his son. “Can we still have dinner together? Maybe cook something? Grace will be here in a few minutes.”

Grace… wasn’t she supposed to be off-world? Weren’t they scheduled to return in a few hours? Getting back early wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, but the weariness in Evan’s eyes was making her anxious to hear more. Alex caught Evan’s gaze and saw him nod once. Grace was okay. That was something.

Caleb sighed heavily and nodded. “Fine,” he said shrugging. “Just- Lucas?”

“Sorry, am I interrupting something?”

Alex hadn’t even heard Lucas’ car arrive. She found she couldn’t help smiling. “Lucas Quinn, what brings you over?” Lucas hadn’t been present at the funeral, but she knew his arrival would vastly improve Caleb’s mood. He and Lucas had always been close, and as he was standing in the doorway now, his smile as bright as Jonas’ had been when she first knew him. The only other thing he seemed to have inherited from his father were the blue eyes, which stood in stark contrast to his light brown skin, which made that smile even more intense than his father’s was.

“The General here said Caleb’s home right now, so I thought I’d stop by,” he said, stepping inside and closing the door behind himself.

Caleb grinned at his friend, even though he must have picked up the obvious: Lucas was serving under Evan. “Sure,” Caleb laughed, approaching Lucas and wrapping him in an embrace. “Good to see you.”

_For how long though?_ Alex wondered as Caleb and Lucas started chatting straight away and Evan squeezed her hand on his way to the kitchen. For now the fight had been averted, but she doubted this could go on for long. Especially once Caleb realized that his childhood friend was keeping secrets too.

“What happened?” she whispered once Caleb was out of earshot and Evan shook his head, as he took a mug from the cupboard and poured himself some coffee. He was still in uniform, though he’d abandoned the jacket in the car. With a sigh he loosened the knot of his tie and took it off to undo the topmost button of his shirt.

“Little mishap on the mission,” he said, pausing for a brief moment to listen to Lucas complain loudly about Winnie’s barking. “She’s okay, though. Everyone is.”

Sitting down on one of the bar stools, Alex held his gaze. The day had been terrible, she realized. “How are you?”

He shook his head and took a gulp of coffee. “Okay,” he said quietly. “Just… I knew it would be hard. Just not like this.”

“I’m sure she hates it too.”

“You bet,” he muttered, raising his head when footsteps approached the kitchen and Caleb stood in the doorway, Lucas right behind him. “We’re taking Winnie for a walk,” he said curtly. No, Caleb wasn’t exactly done with them either.

“Okay…” Evan said. “I’ll have dinner ready by seven then.”

Caleb nodded once. “Okay.” So much for cooking together. Well, at least Lucas’ arrival managed to diffuse the tension somewhat and when Caleb turned to leave and Lucas remained standing in the doorway for a moment, she nodded at him. She only wished she could tell him to steer off the topic of work for as long as possible.


	9. Chapter 9

** Chapter 9 **

_2033_

“So, what have you been up to, Doctor?”

Caleb scoffed, watching his sister pull up in her ridiculous, ancient car. He raised a hand to wave at her. They were already at the end of the street, so he wasn’t going back, but he’d see a lot of her that evening anyway. She waved back, then walked up the path. “Nothing much, Lieutenant,” he said with a brief smile, looking down at the dog walking beside him. There was no use complaining to Lucas about his parents.

“Oh come on, no new interesting theories?”

Caleb shrugged and gave Winnie some more leash. “Not really.”

Lucas shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans and was quiet for a moment. They walked past the houses of their childhood, past the crack in the asphalt that had always been there, had been fixed a billion times and had appeared every spring. Not long now and they’d be close to the place where Lucas’ parents lived. “Your dad said you’ll be here for a week?”

“Four days to go. But I was thinking about going back to Chicago a bit earlier.”

“Why?”

“Just… ‘cause…”

“Ah.” Lucas nodded knowingly and they turned right into a narrow alleyway between the houses of the March family and Mister Turner’s, which would lead them to the park. “You’re so eloquent. Anybody special waiting for you back there?”

“No.” Caleb said, not entirely truthfully and he found that talking about it didn’t make him feel comfortable exactly.

“Well, that was a quick answer,” Lucas commented and Caleb stopped to let Winnie pee. It was also a good excuse to avert his gaze. He wasn’t even sure if he was blushing.

“It’s nothing. I met this girl in the library and she gave me her number,” he paused for a moment, feeling Lucas’ gaze fixed on him. “I haven’t called her back, I’m not even sure I’m going to. And no, it’s not why I’m thinking about going back early.” The fact was, he _couldn’t_ go back early. He’d booked his tickets four months ago and by now the prices would be far too high. His announcement back at the house about packing was nothing more than an empty threat. And his mother must know it. He felt childish recalling it now. He was frustrated with her and the situation at home, and he’d longed for his room and the familiarity of the those four walls.

“Ah,” Lucas said, his voice mimicking that of someone who doesn’t really care about what was being said. Lucas was never too good at lying either. “Why then? You talk like an old wise man trying to get me to the answer myself.”

With a scoff, Caleb looked up into the blue sky overhead. God, it was hot… “You’re military, my dad is your boss…”

“Saying I won’t understand?”

Caleb shrugged again and started walking again, Winnie right next to him. The dog at least was in sync with him. “I guess,” he sighed. “Let’s talk about something else. What have you been up to?”

Lucas sighed. They were close to the park now, Caleb could hear the children wreaking havoc in the playground up ahead already and Winnie had raised his ears and tail as he started scurrying towards the sound.

“A lot of work,” he said quietly. “Picked up playing piano again some time ago.”

“Did you meet anyone interesting?” Caleb asked, without looking at his friend.

“Nah…”

_What do you even do at Cheyenne Mountain?_ The words were almost on his lips, he was so close of saying them out loud, that he had to bite his tongue to stop them from emerging. Lucas was working with his father and Grace now. And hadn’t he asked Lucas for a change of subject?

“I mean, it’s hard meeting someone new, you know?”

“Maybe,” Caleb said quietly as they emerged on the main road and saw the park stretched out right in front of them. “I’m going to Italy with Josh in a few weeks.”

“Neat. What for?”

“Just research.” And that, in a nutshell, was the most interesting thing he could say about his life right now. Wasn’t that just pathetic? “We’re going start digging near Castel del Monte. There haven’t been a whole lot of excavations in that area in a while and Josh and his team got a permit after about a year of waiting for it.”

“Cool. What’s Castel del Monte?” They’d reached the park, and Caleb decided against sticking to the paths criss-crossing over the neat lawn and instead started walking towards a cluster of high trees in the centre of the park. There was a little pond there, a place where his grandfather had taken him every single time he was here. Feeding the ducks had been such a stereotypical grandfathery thing to do, it had taken Caleb completely by surprise when he heard no other grandfathers ever did it.

“Hm… it’s a castle in the south of Italy,” he began. “Built in the thirteenth century by Emperor Frederick II. He had a huge empire, it stretched from Sicily to Germany and parts of Palestine, and he was a patron of science, the arts, literature… and, well, he had this castle built.”

“Right…” Lucas murmured, listening with a trace of interest which Caleb recalled all too well from years and years ago, when Caleb still used to practice his presentations about history in front of his friend before giving them in school. Lucas was interested, yes, but not sure what else to say. “And what’s special about it?”

“Well, it’s built on the top of a hill,” Caleb said, wishing he’d brought his phone with him so he could show Lucas some pictures. “But it doesn’t really have any defences you’d expect from a building of that time. I mean, it has solid walls and everything, but it would be pretty hard to defend back in the day. Also, there are no traces of agricultural buildings inside, no stables, nothing. But the special thing about it is the layout. It’s a perfect octagon and, with octagonal towers and-”

“So, you’re going to dig around it to find out where that stuff might have been? Stables, military barracks,” Lucas asked, “I mean, it’s weird to put the stables outside anyway, right? Would be hard to defend in case of an attack?”

They’d just passed the treeline and Caleb sat down in the soft feathery grass. Winnie was already panting like crazy. The little furball clearly didn’t like the heat. With a soft huff, Winnie curled up next to Caleb and Lucas sat down on the dog’s other side, starting to stroke his fur. His friend wasn’t too fond of dogs, but somehow he was okay with the dogs the Lornes had always had.

“Exactly,” Caleb said. “But no. We’re going to look for a monastery that must have been nearby. Josh found some evidence that might point us in the right direction.”

“Right.” Lucas nodded, his eyes trained on the Winnie, as he kept brushing through the grey fur until their fingertips met for a second and he quickly pulled his hand away again. “Bottom line, you’re gonna spend the summer in blazing hot Italy, trying to find – what exactly?”

Caleb let out a long breath and wrapped his arms around his knees, the leash loosely in his hand as he looked at Winnie, who returned his gaze almost accusingly for stopping massaging his back as well. “Traces of a monastery in which monks studied ancient texts? Josh thinks it might confirm the theory that the castle itself was built for research rather than just entertainment? We’ll see. Maybe. It’s just a first research trip. If everything works out, we might be able to do a follow-up in the spring.”

“Cool.” Lucas wiped his hand on the grass. “Have you talked about it to your mum? I’m sure it’s exciting for her to hear about that sort of thing.”

Caleb snorted. “Right. That woman hasn’t been in the field in decades.” He hated how disappointed and simultaneously superior he sounded, but he just knew that when his mother got back together with his father, she’d stopped doing actual work. That she’d ended her academic career to be a wife and mother and, yes, eventually a teacher, but that didn’t really count, did it? Not after the promising start of her career. “She was interested, but not excited.”

With a sigh, Lucas got up again and stretched. “Give her a break,” he said decidedly as he put his hands on his hips. “I’m sure she’s proud of you. So’s your dad.”

Caleb frowned and looked down again. At Winnie who had gotten up the same moment Lucas had and was starting towards him now, his paw tapping Lucas’ foot ever so lightly. “Fine,” he sighed, getting up a s well. “I mean, I told them and all… just…” What he really wanted to ask was what Lucas was doing with his life right now. What his work was _really_ like. But he didn’t have the guts for it.

“Come on, let’s walk some more,” Lucas said. “That dog of yours needs exercise.”

“Are you telling me my dog is fat?”

Lucas cocked his head and smiled down at him. Like teasing him was nothing more than what it must look like to an outsider. He was really good at this. Better than Caleb in many respects. “Maybe.”

How she hated seeing both her children at odds with them. They had never been a picture perfect family. How could they be, with both her and Evan going off-world once a week? Things would have been difficult enough with just Evan in the military, but Alex’s involvement in the Stargate Program hadn’t made things easier. Constant secrecy had been their ever-present companion from the moment they had arrived back on Earth. Top that with having to organize someone taking care of the children, even overnight sometimes, and you very quickly arrived to a place which would make normal family life hard to say the least. All in all, they could call themselves lucky, they’d managed as well as they had. Luckily Adam and his husband had stopped by about once a month and Grace and Caleb were always welcome at their grandfather’s house with Evan’s dad, sometimes even with Ellen.

Ellen, who was chatting her ear off now, while Alex watched Grace and Evan tiptoe around each other in the kitchen, Grace making the salad, Evan making the pasta.

And Caleb wasn’t even back yet.

“Anyway, Paul’s insisting on naming the kid after Mom… I mean, I get it, but I’m honestly not sure I’m ready for that.”

“I know,” Alex sighed, sitting down at the kitchen table, just as Grace dropped the knife in the kitchen sink, making Evan throw her a sceptical glance. “I wouldn’t be either.”

“Grace,” Evan said, but Grace turned her back on him, her cheeks starting to redden.

“Sorry, Sir.”

Evan didn’t flinch back, but placed his hands countertop and sighed. “Grace, I’m sorry.”

“No, you’re not, or you would’ve said no.”

“I couldn’t say no, exactly. It was that or retirement.”

“Alex, what’s going on on your end?” Ellen asked and Alex quickly got up again to march over to the living room.

“Nothing… “, she breathed, even though she heard Grace give an exasperated huff. “Evan’s new posting means he’ll be Grace’s boss.”

“Ugh, I’d hate that as well,” Ellen said and Alex nodded as she started pacing the living room. To the window, back to the ancient TV and over to the bookcase. It was a familiar road, one she’d taken so often over the years, she was surprised she couldn’t make out the path she must have made on the hardwood floor. She was grateful she was getting to chat to Ellen as often as she did nowadays. Ellen was retired, and constantly fussing over her two sons, which couldn’t be too healthy either. Not that Alex was too different at the moment.

“I know,” Alex said. “Listen, I’ve got to hang up. I’ll call you back tomorrow?” She had a sense things weren’t going to quiet down for the rest of the evening. Not even with Lucas there as a buffer between Caleb and the rest of the family.

“We need to find a way to work with this,” Evan was saying, just as Alex walked back into the kitchen, the telephone still in her hand. He was holding his favourite wooden spoon and stirring the pasta so as not to look at Grace. God, why couldn’t these two look at each other when they were arguing? She quietly set down the phone and watched her husband and daughter not look at one-another.

“It’s a little late for that, isn’t it?”

With a sigh, Evan turned off the stove and looked up at Alex, his eyes pleading for her to say something, anything that would make things more bearable. But there wasn’t anything. Maybe Evan should have retired after all. But what would he do with himself then? He wasn’t ready to stay at home full-time. And neither, to be frank, was she.

“What happened that was so bad?”

“Just sitting in the briefing room with him at the end of the table. It’s bad enough.”

Evan rolled his eyes and Alex felt the sting of Grace’s words. “Well, tough,” she found herself saying, taking a step towards Grace, who whirled around, her mouth open, as though about to protest. “You knew things might get uncomfortable when you joined the Air Force, didn’t you? Especially when you signed up for the special program at the Academy that would ultimately lead you to the SGC.”

Grace blinked, clearly unnerved by the severity in Alex’s voice. Something she hadn’t heard in years, but right now was not the time to wrap Grace in her arms and tell her things were going to be okay. Evan hadn’t done that when she’d first joined the SGC. Nobody had told her things weren’t going to be tough and there’d be hard decisions to make. And there had been, even if she’d never been an airman. But she knew Evan had struggled. Not always, he knew what his job entailed, but things hadn’t always been easy. And Grace struggled, too. With time she’d lose friends in combat, she’d have to watch them die and give orders that would be uncomfortable to say the least. And she knew it. But right now Grace was behaving like a brat and that was unacceptable.

“It’s not easy for your father either, but you’re both going to have to live with this now.” She frowned at her daughter, watching the realization that she wasn’t going to get any sympathy from her mother sink in. “Get a grip, airman.” Alex added quietly, her face stern as she watched her daughter’s eyes widen for the fraction of a second, before the sound of Caleb’s laughter reached their ears and they all knew their time was up.

Grace swallowed hard and looked up at Evan. “Sorry,” she said quietly and he nodded, his eyes soft. He reached out and patted her shoulder.

“And I’m sorry I threw this on you.”

“Mom’s right, though.” Grace took a deep breath, picked up the salad bowl and carried it over to the table, just as Caleb and Lucas came around the side of the house with Winnie in tow. Caleb was still smiling, his cheeks flushed from the walk.

Alex looked at Evan and found him smirking at her, the crow’s feet around his eyes somehow managing to accentuate the deep blue which she found whenever she looked into their childrens’ eyes.

“I thought you said seven,” Caleb said.

“Would’ve been, had you been here to help,” Grace retorted while Lucas knelt down to take off Winnie’s leash.

“Haha,” Caleb muttered. It was always the last thing he said when he’d run out of good returns.

Grace looked over her shoulder at Alex and Evan, unsmiling.

With a sigh, Evan patted the small of Alex’s back and pushed her to the side to pick up the pot of pasta. The pesto was already sitting in a clean white bowl to the side. “Thanks,” he muttered as Lucas and Grace started up a conversation, which easily managed to draw Caleb in. Apparently a new technological gadget that Alex would have no use for was going to hit the market soon.

“Sure,” Alex said just as quietly. “Thought it would be easier for me to say it.”

Evan grunted in response, moved over to the sink to drain the pasta and looked at Alex. “I guess I forgot how tough you can be.” 

“Ha.” Alex said, reaching into the pot, before Evan could pour the pasta with the remaining starchy water over the pesto to mix everything up. “That should teach you.”

“Guess it should,” he muttered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I completely forgot to mention that I haven’t watched SGU… I have the DVDs, but I haven’t watched them yet… so, sorry for not mentioning that spin-off either.
> 
> So, both Caleb and Grace are getting a bit of a talking-to this time around and Alex got to be the stern one. Quite a nice change of pace, actually, but it felt more organic for her to tell Grace off than for Evan. She was the only one who could do it without making things worse anyway. And Lucas… I have to say, I’m growing really fond of him!


	10. Chapter 10

** Chapter 10 **

_2033_

She was seeing more of her father these days than she had in years. She’d seen him at the Academy sometimes, obviously, but her training for this program had been conducted by Major Jennifer Hailey, who had been Colonel Carter’s protégé in the early days at the SGC.

“Research and Development managed to replicate the cloak of the Jumpers years ago,” she was saying as she walked beside him through the narrow concrete corridors. Lunch at the commissary had been easy-going enough, but stepping back outside on their way back to his office, she found herself slipping back into her professional role. It was weird seeing him here, even after about six weeks of him being in charge. How much longer would this last? A year? Two?

“I remember,” he said as they entered the elevator and Colonel Winchester, SG-3’s team leader, stepped to the side to make room for them. He wasn’t looking at them, only for a curt greeting, then returned his attention back to the panel inlaid into the metal. “McKay did a really good job on that.”

“Yes, and it’s been implemented into the BC-306’s systems years ago, I know, but after that cloaking device from Merlin was destroyed we haven’t had access to phase-shifting technology, and Colonel Carter’s copies haven’t been too efficient.”

“What are you saying?” Evan Lorne leaned against the elevator’s wall and nodded in acknowledgement as the Colonel exited on level twenty-four. “Grace,” he added once the door had closed again, “If Carter says it can’t be done-“

Grace sighed exasperatedly. She knew she was no match for the infamous Colonel Carter, or the genius Radek Zelenka or even Rodney McKay, but that didn’t mean she was incompetent. No, she didn’t have a PHD and had no interest in getting one, but that didn’t mean she didn’t know what she was talking about here. She bit her lip the moment she saw her father raise his eyebrow at her and cross his arms. She’d done it again. Disrespected a superior officer. Yes, he was her father, but that didn’t count. Not right now or right here. She’d been so much better at this at the Academy. But he didn’t comment, just cocked his head and gestured for her to continue while the elevator descended even further.

“All I’m saying is that we should maybe take another stab at finding the Nox again.”

“You know that planet was abandoned years ago, don’t you?” he said as the door slid open and they both got out, heading towards his office. “Moreover, shouldn’t you bring this up with Major Miller first?”

“I did,” Grace sighed. He was walking more quickly now, his stride almost rhythmic in the narrow corridor. “She told me to suggest this to you.” In fact, Miller had said a couple of other things, which he could probably guess, but didn’t comment on. “It was my idea after all,” she added, trying to soften the blow.

He sighed. “Fine, write something up, but don’t expect any miracles. After introducing us to the Furlings they more or less vanished.” Pushing open the door to his office, he looked at her for a moment, his face unreadable. Then, after a few seconds, he let go of the doorknob, crossed his arms over his chest and frowned. “How bad is it with your team?”

After that row a few weeks ago, she hadn’t expected him to ask this question, but she had to admit she was glad to hear it. To see him frown at her with worry. To have him be her dad, even if it was just for a short moment. “It’s okay,” she answered just as quietly. “Not insane at least.”

He hesitated for a moment, looking her straight in the eye, making sure that she wasn’t lying. And then his face broke into a half-hearted smile and he nodded. “Fine,” he said and unfolded his arms, “your mom wanted me to tell you that Adam will be over for the weekend, so she wants to cook. Be sure to fill up before you come over, okay?” He took a step back into his office and Grace barely kept herself from punching him in the ribs.

“Don’t talk about her like that.”

Evan scoffed and shook his head. “Don’t even pretend you didn’t stop by Jonas’s place on your way home when you knew she’d be cooking.”

“So we ordered pizza after all,” Grace said, leaning back against the apple tree in her parents’ backyard, watching as Winnie did his best to uproot her mother’s patch of daisies.

“Not a bad idea,” Caleb laughed into her ear. He had called her about ten minutes ago and after a brief chat with Adam and their parents, Grace had taken the phone outside to talk with him in private. Since they’d both been here for their father’s birthday, they had made a habit of calling each other every few days. Not for long, just to stay in touch. “How burnt was that lasagna?”

“Badly. Third degree, I’d say,” Grace said smiling. “Dad might’ve pulled through, but you know Uncle Adam.”

“I know Uncle Adam. Oh man, I’m so sorry for her. She’s not bad with lasagna usually.”

Grace laughed. “She got home from work early today, just to make sure everything was okay, but she got distracted cleaning the house apparently.”

“Hey, what happened to that cleaning robot we got them for Christmas?”

“Discarded in the pantry, waiting to be revived. She says she can _very well hover on her own.”_ Grace mimicked her accent, making Caleb laugh on the other end. “You know they’re not too fond of these things.”

Caleb huffed and she could practically see him shrug on the other end of the line. “I was thinking, maybe we should get her a really nice fountain pen and a couple of extra notebooks for her birthday?”

“Yeah, maybe.” Grace stretched out her legs and Winnie raised his head almost immediately, staring at her bare feet for a moment and cocking his head. “What are your plans for the weekend?”

“Uhm,” Caleb said, pausing for a moment as though thinking and Grace wriggled her toes invitingly at the dog. Winnie didn’t wait a moment longer, before heading towards her and placing his chest against her toes for the perfect massage.

“Crazy mutt,” she breathed quietly, looking up to the massive window looking into the kitchen, where her parents and Adam were still sitting at the table, talking quietly amongst themselves. Adam had come here to talk about arranging a place in a home for their grandmother. Not a particularly nice topic of conversation, and Grace was almost relieved she didn’t have to decide any of this.

“Josh and I were talking of going to Naples. It’s a fairly short trip, so…”

“Sounds cool,” Grace said, enjoying the feeling of the soft fur on Winnie’s chest under her toes and finding herself grinning when the dog bent over a bit to lick her foot, before curling up around it, so Grace could scratch his belly. “Don’t forget to send dad tons of pictures.”

“I won’t.”

“So have you decided on whether you want to come with us on that ridiculous trip to Germany?”

Caleb sighed audibly. Not a good sign. “Grace…”

“Come on, it’ll mean the world to them.”

“Fine,” Caleb sighed again, “but no promises… and what are you up to this weekend anyway?”

“Work.” Grace said, forcing her voice to remain calm. Like it was no big deal. She was planning on doing some more research for the next mission and she would have to dig through several dozen mission files to get all the information all she wanted.

The Nox had always been an elusive race to say the least, but they’d been more than helpful on several occasions, even if they always withheld technology. After the threat of the Ori was eliminated and the Atlantis expedition had been scrapped for good, the Nox had introduced them to the Furlings, a race which had appeared well-meaning at the beginning, and which quickly turned out to be just as dangerous as the Ori had been. Taking out that threat had cost Earth dearly, and the Nox had vanished completely. Nobody quite believed they were gone, but they’d also refused to help in the fight. so who could say what had happened to them? And when Grace started going through the files, she would eventually find mission reports written by her parents. About the month or so Alex Lorne and her team had been stuck on the Nox homeworld, as it was under siege. Evan Lorne had spent every waking hour trying to get her back. Grace knew what had happened now, but she remembered that time as a radiant summer spent in San Francisco with her grandfather, her cousins, her aunt and her uncle. She’d been eight then. Had she known then… but these were things she couldn’t discuss with Caleb, although she’d been dying to tell him about those two very long reports about their parents’ time spent on Larsa. About their sister. About the massive volume which was all about the woman who was nothing but the picture of a baby in the hall.

“Huh… lots of deep-space to radar, huh?”

“Lots and lots,” she sighed, catching on to the frustration in his voice. “Caleb, I have to go.” It wasn’t true. Nobody inside was waving at her. Nobody was asking her to join them. “I’ll send you a message with all the details on that trip, okay? Talk to you later!” She didn’t wait for him to say not to do it. She just hung up.

Caleb stared at the phone for a full minute. She was never one to be comfortable saying goodbye properly. Their father had tried talking to her about it more than once. Well, she was probably fed-up with Evan telling her to do things by now, anyway. Folding it together, he placed it back into his pocket. He was sitting on a rough stone protruding from the earth. It sat at the very edge of what they decided would be their excavation site. He stretched and got up, looking down at the stone and blinked when he saw a small glare there. He blinked again and the glare was gone. Gosh, the sun was making him dizzy already. Bending over, he reached for the bottle he’d placed on the ground.

Josh and the other archaeologists were sitting under the massive olive tree at the foot of the hill, a massive pile of sandwiches in their middle as they enjoyed an early lunch. They’d been at it since six o’clock in the morning and they would finish up for the day in about two hours. It was already ridiculously hot and he could feel his shirt sticking to his skin. “Josh,” he shouted over to his friend, who turned around to look at him, chewing on a tomato and mozzarella sandwich.

“Huh?” Josh called back.

“I wanna take another look from above!”

Josh nodded once and came to his feet. “Coming!” Wiping his hands on his shorts, he started towards Caleb. “Why exactly?”

“Just like the view,” Caleb said quietly, adjusting his sun hat. The truth was, he was feeling restless, despite the heat. He liked talking to Grace on a more regular basis, but it did nothing to ease his mind. Moreover, going up to the castle and taking the short walk there, would give them a much-needed reminder of the overview of the area where they would start excavating the next day. A few promising traces in the burnt grass already hinted at a couple of findings at least, but it never hurt to look at a site from above whenever possible. “Also, I think maybe sketching some of it might help,” he added, holding up the sketchpad he’d brought along. Drawing digitally just was no use in the glaring sun like this. Well, maybe his mom was right about some things after all.

“Ah”, Josh said as he put on his sunglasses. They had a bit of a walk ahead of them, but Josh didn’t seem to mind. The excavation site was at the bottom of the hill, but that hill rose gradually only at the beginning, a few paths leading through the ancient grove of olive trees until they met with the main path leading up to the massive castle. Hopefully the tourists swarming the place day and night wouldn’t be there in the midday heat. “You know, I think I’ll bring the drone tomorrow again. Get a really good bird’s eye view?”

“Sure,” Caleb said. Of course that drone would pick up things that their own eyes wouldn’t be able to from this angle, but there were also things that no machine could ever make out. “At least we can be sure that there was something where we’re digging right now. That’s something.”

The ground was starting to rise a bit more steeply now and Caleb was grateful for the shade the olive trees provided. This grove must have been planted some time after the castle had been built and abandoned again. The area around the castle must have been cleared completely so the castle sat like a crown atop that hill. At least that was what the research suggested.

“Huh.” Josh was already holding a stitch in his side and they weren’t even halfway up the hill. “So, what’d Grace say?”

“About what?”

“I don’t know?”

Caleb laughed softly. The low wall hugging the path for tourists was already in view. “You’re so bad at this,” he grinned, taking in the scent of dry wood and stone baking in the sun. It seemed like they might be in luck. There wasn’t a single person on the path up ahead.

“At what?”

“You’ve always liked her. You’re just too chicken to do anything about it.”

“Are you sure you want to start that right now?” Josh stopped dead in his tracks, hands on his hips. His cheeks were flushed from the exercise already. He looked more like his dad in some ways. Caleb had seen pictures of a younger Oliver Murdoch, and the resemblance was striking, only that Josh had inherited his mother’s even fairer skin and dark hair. But apart from that he looked a lot younger than he should be. Grace had once called him baby face. It hadn’t sat well with Josh.

“No,” Caleb sighed, turning his back on his friend and climbing over the low wall. “Well, apparently Uncle Adam is there to discuss plans for putting grandma in a home. Fun times. I’m just glad to be here.” He’d have to visit his grandmother on his way back to the States, though.

“I can imagine,” Josh added, evidently relieved the topic had been changed. “I’d hate to be there, too. Mind, my grandparents are all dead, so what do I know.”

“And apparently I’m going to Trier with my parents. So that’ll be fun.”

“Hey, it’s quite cool there. Dive into the tourist experience and ignore the family drama.”

Caleb scoffed. “We’ll see if it happens at all. My dad was promoted, so we’ll see if he can get two weeks off in October.”

“Wow! That’s old for a promotion, right?” They were close to the top now. A few more steps and they’d have a good overview over the tents and the trenches they’d already dug.

“I suppose,” Caleb said, sitting down on the wall and ignoring the singing heat of the stones beneath. Josh’s dad was retired now and Caleb was sure Grace wished their dad had done the same. “Your mom was in Trier, too, right?”

“Yeah,” Josh muttered, turning his back on the excavation site and looking up at the castle, while Caleb twirled his pencil between his fingers. This angle was no good. He’d feared as much. “This place is ridiculous, seriously.”

Caleb grunted in agreement, pushed up his hat and stared at the stark-white page, blinking against the sunlight reflected on the stark white paper.

“You know, maybe we should get inside again? See if the architecture gives a hint or two about-“

“Sounds good,” Caleb said, closing the notebook again, a frustrated sigh edging up his throat. “Guess I’ll have a better view from one of the towers anyway,” he said, frowning at the landscape below.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I a terrible person for liking the idea that Alex’s children hate her cooking? I figured it would be a running gag among the Lornes, started by Evan. He’s regretting it now. I suppose it got better, though? After all, her baking improved during their time on Larsa too?
> 
> Also, I’m super invested in the “Caleb starts discovering secrets his sister already knows everything about” storyline. I have a vague idea about Josh, too and I have some plans for Lucas. We’ll see how things go. Grace is going on a mission with the Next Generation Team (terrible name, I know) and Caleb has to work. Alex has to work. Evan has to work… there’ll also be a couple more flashbacks in the coming chapters. We have to find out about the old Atlantis crew, don’t we? Rick and Chuck? Teyla? Ronon? Sheppard? McKay? Oh boy, this story is gonna be loooooong.
> 
> About Caleb, I really liked the idea of his dad sitting down with him, teaching his kids to draw. I suppose it only really stuck with Caleb since I don’t see Grace as a particularly artsy person, but I like Evan as a dad. He does okay, doesn’t he?
> 
> I hope you guys are still there and still enjoying this bit of insanity?


	11. Chapter 11

_2012_

_Caleb and Grace were both at day care. Neither she, nor Evan were going off-world. This was just a regular day at the SGC._

_Until it wasn’t._

_She was finishing up a translation for Daniel, when Evan walked into her small office, hands in his pockets. She smiled. Seeing him in the green BDUs always threw her back a couple of years. His hair was different though. It was shorter than it had been when she’d met him here again. And there were those extra lines around his eyes, which made him look more sophisticated._

_Smiling, she put down her pen and closed her laptop as he approached her. “Want to grab some lunch before the meeting?”_

_Alex shook her head. “Not really hungry. But you go ahead, if you want to.”_

_Shrugging, he sat down on the stool next to her. “Apparently all the members of the expedition currently working on-base have been asked to come.”_

_“Do you think they’ll give you a choice to go?”_

_“I don’t see why they wouldn’t. First time around was an emergency and the policies have changed since ou people were trapped there. This time though….” He was quiet for a moment as he looked at her, his eyes searching hers and she could practically hear his question. Would they go? Would they take their now four-year-old and his sister to another galaxy yet again? After what had happened? When Atlantis was probably lost?_

_“We’ll see,” she said quietly, unwilling to rob him of this opportunity. She almost knew she wouldn’t go, but she was unwilling to say it out loud now._

_“Hm,” he said, agreeing with a nod and wrapping his arm around her middle and pulling her closer. “I’ve been going over the latest mission files of Mitchell’s team. I guess you will be going to the Nox next? You’ve been itching to talk to them for ages anyway, right?”_

_Alex nodded. If the Atlantis expedition didn’t have to leave straight away and she didn’t have to be part of that expedition, then she’d go to the Nox homeworld. “I can’t believe the Furlings had no idea what was going on in the galaxy until a few months ago.”_

_Grunting, Evan slid his hand under her shirt and kissed her temple. “The Wraith had no idea what was going on for ten thousand years.”_

_“You can’t compare that.”_

_With a shrug, Evan opened the top drawer of her desk and retrieved the metal box with cookies to place it on the table. “I love you for keeping these at hand.”_

_“Just for that?”_

_“Well, and for the brains, the kids and the sex obviously.”_

_“Obviously.”_

_With a soft plop, he pried open the tin, picked one of the butter cookies, looked at the assortment inside the tin and picked up a second one._

_“I already called at day care to let them know we’ll be a bit late.” She hated having to call them as often as she did, but there was little for it. Luckily the centre was run by the Air Force, and they never gave her or Evan a hard time over it. What she wasn’t looking forward to was the bad conscience, that tearing sensation in her chest when she and Evan picked up the kids after work and Caleb clung to her because he’d missed her._

_“Good call.” Evan cleared his throat and picked up another cookie. “What have you been working on today?”_

_“Nothing special… just finishing up this translation for Daniel and I’ve been going over my notes from the databases.” She’d been at it for years now, with occasional help from Jonas, Anna and Balinsky, but time never seemed to allow for spending too much time on the puzzle that the texts were. Moreover, after about a year, they’d determined that most of those texts were nothing but superficial introductions and no matter how hard you tried, there was little chance to delve deeper. And so Alex had spent the better part of the time when she wasn’t working on active projects, translating the texts without ever hoping of going back to that planet. Her work on the Athosians’ spiritual life had long since been finished with the help of Teyla, but it felt too shallow, too incomplete for her to be satisfied with it._

_She felt his hand on her knee and leaned back in her chair. There was still so much to do in Pegasus, and though she’d long since found out that family life was indeed more important to Evan and her, she couldn’t help but feel like she’d left something vital behind there. Maybe she would go back after all. Once the next expedition had set up a secure base. The thought alone made her heart skip a beat and she realized once again that, despite everything, she still missed Atlantis and the shimmering spires reaching up into the sky. She missed the secrets that place still held. But it didn’t seem like a realistic option anymore. Not after they’d all been nearly killed in the evacuation._

_“Do you really think they’ll want to retake Atlantis?”_

_Evan frowned at his cookie. “Would be a waste if they didn’t… I mean even seventy percent of the database secured is still thirty percent we don’t have access to. Not to mention the people we still have in Pegasus.”_

_Alex scoffed. “That’ll be a hell of a welcome. Sorry for abandoning you guys for one and a half years, but we’re back now. Care to strike another trade deal? Promise we won’t disappear on you again. Maybe.”_

_“Yeah. I guess we’ll see what they’re gonna say.”_

_“You’re going, aren’t you?”_

_Evan didn’t have to think. Not even for a second. “Not without you guys, no.” He cleared his throat again. “Let’s talk about it tonight, huh? Not in this gloomy bunker.”_

_“If you want to go, then I’m going… and… maybe…”_

_“Tonight.” He got up from his chair, wrapped his arms around her shoulders from behind and kissed her cheek. “We still have twenty minutes or so. Let’s get some coffee.”_

_2033_

The instant coffee one of the other archaeologists was making was so bad Caleb was almost wishing for his mother’s Earl Grey tea, and that was saying something. He took another polite sip, placed the metal mug on the stone next to him and got up again to join Josh in the pit they’d dug here some time ago, carefully excavating the western wall of what must have once been the scriptorium bordering on the far western wall of the complex. It had luckily been the first site they’d decided to excavate. The overall layout of the room didn’t offer many clues to that, but the moment they’d found not one, but three clay bottles of long dried-up ink stashed away in one of those walls, Josh had literally burst out into song. Just a short one, granted, but a song nonetheless, and Caleb hadn’t wasted a second to record that moment for posterity’s sake. And to send it to his mother, of course.

Josh was on his knees, brushing away at the newest stretch of foundations they’d discovered. The stones used here appeared to be the same ones which had been used in the building of the castle overlooking the valley, and the stone itself was perfect for storing loads and loads of dust and dirt between the narrow cracks between the rough-hew stones of the wall. Sitting back, Josh wiped his forehead and blinked up at Caleb. “What?” he said, wiping his hands on his dirty shorts. “No coffee for me.”

“You really don’t want that stuff,” Caleb said quietly as he knelt down next to his friend and picked up his own abandoned set of tools. “Found anything cool?”

“Yes, piles of dirt. Want some?”

Chuckling softly, Caleb drew one of the bigger brushes out of the loop holding it in place and started wiping away at the stones. He’d never get why he loved this work so much, but hated gardening. His mother’s and father’s obsession with boring white daisies might play a part, but he doubted it somehow. This work here was meaningful, or at least more meaningful than digging up a patch of daisies and transferring it somewhere else. “I’ll have some in my coffee,” he said quietly. “Might make it taste a bit better.”

“Always the optimist,” Josh grumbled, bending low over the wall to resume his work.

_“You’re early,” Jonas greeted them when they arrived in the briefing room about five minutes before the meeting was supposed to start._

_“Look who’s talking,” Evan muttered, looking around to see that almost everybody was already there. Sheppard and Teyla were sitting somewhat to the side, talking quietly, Zelenka and Parrish were chatting at the back. Keller and McKay just came up the winding staircase and headed straight for Zelenka. Oliver Murdoch was there and so were about twenty other people. The conference table had been pushed to the back of the room to create more space for the thirty or so people who still worked at the SGC. Thirty… out of two hundred. Some had been re-assigned to Area 51, some worked off-world but most people, especially civilian scientists, had dropped out to work in the private sector or to find a way back into academia._

_“Is Anna still with her mom?” Alex asked as she sat down next to Oliver Murdoch. Anna’s mother had fallen ill about a week ago, and she’d left in a hurry, leaving Josh with his dad._

_“She won’t be back until tomorrow.” He sighed. “Josh wasn’t feeling too good this morning and I hated dropping him off before I came here… and now this.” He looked at his watch. He wasn’t wrong. There was no telling how long this meeting would take._

_“Yes, something’s been going ‘round,” Jonas agreed with a nod. “Lucas isn’t feeling well either.”_

_“Your wife’s with him?”_

_Jonas nodded. “I was scheduled to go off-world in an hour. We’ll see if that’s gonna happen.” He sat down one seat from Alex, leaving room for Evan. Very considerate of him, Evan thought. Well, apparently Jonas had finally given up on Alex. That was a bit of a relief, though admittedly not a big surprise, given that he was married now and had a kid of his own._

_Evan leaned back in his seat and looked over to the glass window separating General Landry’s office from the briefing room. He’d somehow expected the general to be in there, talking on the phone, where he seemed to be spending most of his time, but the massive leather chair was suspiciously empty._

_He only realized he was smiling when he caught Sheppard’s eye and saw him raise his eyebrows at him. Gently touching Teyla’s shoulder, he moved over to sit behind Evan and Alex. Without hesitating Teyla followed him. She’d moved in with him the moment it became apparent that their stay on Earth would be an extended one, and she’d claimed she wanted Torren to see the sky, but Evan suspected there was more going on. The way the two of them almost moved in sync spoke volumes._

_“So, what do you think?” Sheppard whispered._

_“About what?”_

_“This set-up.”_

_Alex shifted in her seat and turned around to look at Sheppard and Teyla. McKay took his seat next to Teyla and Keller hovered in the back, talking quietly to Beckett, who had just shown up. Had Beckett been home yet? Probably. They’d been back for a year now._

_“Have you heard anything?”_

_Sheppard shook his head. “What’s got me worried is that Woolsey isn’t here.”_

_“I-“ Evan began, falling silent immediately. Sheppard was right, of course. The leader of the expedition was not present. How could he have missed that._

_“Has either one of you talked with him recently?”_

_“I have,” McKay said, taking Alex somewhat by surprise. McKay wasn’t the chattiest or most sociable of people. “I needed his signature for something. He was pretty busy by the sounds of it.”_

_“Hm.” Alex crossed her arms over her chest and her shoulders tensed when the sound of footsteps approaching reached their ears. Not just one pair. Evan exchanged another glance with Sheppard and found him still frowning._

_“I too have a bad feeling.”_

_And as usual, Teyla’s feelings were right. For a moment there, Evan had hoped Woolsey would be accompanying Landry, but instead that stand-off Brit who had wanted Alex to come back to Earth walked in with the general. The guy who had basically forced her to become an American citizen so the UK representative couldn’t insist on her being part of the European team._

_Bald, thin-faced with light grey eyes under ginger eyebrows dotted with grey, Russell Chapman looked first at Alex, then at Evan as he followed Landry into the room. There was some shuffling as the military men and women were about to raise from their chairs, but Landry waved them off. “At ease.” He looked at Chapman, who tore his eyes away from Alex and nodded once._

_“Good afternoon,” Landry said._

_“Creep,” Evan muttered under his breath, making Sheppard chuckle softly behind him. Hopefully Chapman hadn’t heard him, because if he was right and that guy was supposed to be Woolsey’s replacement, then he sure as hell couldn’t go to Atlantis, even if he wanted to. And that was something he wasn’t even sure about._

_Landry eyed Chapman, took a deep breath, reached for the remote control lying on a narrow side table, then dropped his hand again. “I’m going to make this short,” he said, and Sheppard sighed audibly behind Evan._

_“Here we go.” The words were barely audible, but exactly what Evan was thinking himself. This didn’t bode well._

_“I know you’ve all been waiting for a decision to be made. Every single one of you was last stationed on Atlantis until the city was raided and taken over by a hitherto unknown enemy.”_

_McKay grunted and Alex shifted uncomfortably in her seat, while Evan kept staring at his commanding officer, his arms folded over his chest. The sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach was starting to make him feel slightly sick._

_“I’m afraid to tell you the IOA has deemed the risk of returning to Pegasus too high, esp-“_

_“You’re kidding!” Sheppard exclaimed, rushing to his feet._

_“Colonel Sheppard, please sit down,” Landry sounded calm, almost as though he’d expected it._

_“You can’t be serious!”_

_Landry’s eyes narrowed for a moment, but it was Chapman who stepped up, put his hands out of his pockets and focused on Sheppard. “We have come to this decision,” he said curtly, the S-sounds hissing too dominantly to be comfortable to the ear, “because we have been unable to dial the Atlantis Gate. The expedition members were lucky enough that both the_ Apollo _and the_ Daedalus _were in orbit, that the_ Hammond _was nearby to pick up more people and-“_

_“We still have people there!” Sheppard interrupted him and Evan felt his muscles tense at the thought. “Ronon is still there, we left allies and friends without giving them notice and-“_

_“We believe-“ Chapman interrupted him, over the murmur that had started to set on, “that the risk of running into the enemy is too big. Moreover, the goal of the Atlantis expedition has been achieved. We have acquired valuable technology-“_

_“With all due respect, Mister Chapman,” Alex spoke up now, her cheeks flushed, “Atlantis is more than technology and the seventy percent or so of database we managed to retrieve. Atlantis is-“_

_“Mrs Lorne,” Chapman wasn’t shouting, but the way he was addressing her, stung, “this discussion is over.” Chapman straightened his jacket and stood up straight, giving the impression of a disgruntled headmaster. “I am merely here as a curtesy to you all, since Mister Woolsey resigned.”_

_“Doctor Lorne. You missed the title,” McKay hissed loudly from behind and Evan felt a twinge of appreciation for the physicist. “And no wonder Woolsey resigned.”_

_“This cannot be it!” Teyla said with a shaky voice. “I demand-“_

_“You have nothing to demand here, Miss Emmagan.”_

_“General-“ Sheppard said again. “This guy can’t be serious!”_

_Landry folded his arms over his chest, stared at Chapman and nodded. “Thanks for coming, Mister Chapman, I believe you should go now. These are my people, I’d like to talk to them.” He paused. “On my own.”_

Caleb narrowed his eyes, blinked and wiped the sweat from his brow. Readjusting his hat, he leaned in closer. So far the walls hadn’t revealed much of anything, except a foundation that looked incredibly stable, and deeper than was typical for buildings this old. But that wasn’t the interesting part here.

He reached for the miniature shovel and scraped away some of the earth.

“Eight days spent just on this side of the wall,” Josh muttered behind him. When had he come back? “Starting to get tedious. And if we don’t find something interesting soon, we can forget about coming back in the spring. An Italian team is gonna take over and that’ll be it. But I have Jameson doing a map of what we’ve found so far. Would you please show me some courtesy and look at me while I rant?”

Caleb shook his head and waved him closer. The other five archaeologists and a team of twenty or so students they’d brought along were busy on the other side of what must have been the cloister Josh had been hoping to find here. It seemed like they had discovered the stables. “Come here,” he said quietly, only now realizing his tongue felt like sandpaper. He accepted the bottle of water his friend had brought him and took a massive gulp.

“What?”

“Have you ever seen writing like this?”

“Huh… what makes you think that’s writing?”

With a shrug, Caleb brushed off some more of the dust to reveal more symbols, edged into a square stone the size of a small pizza box. The stone was positioned exactly where the wall must have met what was once the floor of the scriptorium, but these places didn’t have tiles. “Too irregular to be decorative…” he muttered. Three lines of sharply edged symbols. They looked vaguely familiar, but he was sure he’d never seen symbols like these in any book or in any temple.

“What do you think?” Josh asked, his cheeks glowing with excitement.

“Not sure,” he almost felt like crying out to the rest of the team. Almost. But not quite yet. If this was a remarkable find, and he was almost sure it was, he didn’t want to share it with too many people. Not right away anyway. He sat back on his heel, wiped his face with the sleeve of his T-Shirt and took another gulp of water.

“I think I-“ Josh began, then broke off again. “It looks like it’s not exactly news to me… if it is writing, which I doubt.”

Caleb scoffed and shrugged. Well, if Josh knew it, then it couldn’t be completely ridiculous. With a shrug he poured some of the water on the stone and wiped it clean with his bare hand, hoping to discover something more.

What he hadn’t expected was the soft popping sound as the tile sprang upwards a few millimetres.

_Sheppard left without another comment and when he passed through the door, the silence he left behind was so heavy, Evan found it hard to breathe._

_Sheppard would resign his commission._

_The Atlantis expedition had been scrapped for good._

_“I’m sorry,” Landry said, his voice steady and firm, but Evan knew he really must be._

_“Excuse me,” he heard Teyla say behind him, and with her leaving the room, everyone else started to get up as well. There was quiet murmuring, some people were absolutely silent. Murdoch and Jonas both got up at the same time and followed Teyla._

_Evan sat there, thunderstruck. They’d leave Ronon to fight on his own. They’d left someone behind, only because he wasn’t from Earth. And Sheppard was right… what about their allies in Pegasus? What about all those people who relied on them? The Hoffan Plague was still a problem in some areas of the galaxy… and they’d just abandon all of that? No wonder Sheppard was quitting._

_He took a deep breath and looked over at Alex. She was pale, her lips pressed into a thin line. She’d never get to work on the data they might still recover from the ruins of Ba’al’s stronghold. Seventy percent of the database, plus all the files she’d gathered. That was all she could work with from now on. But she would… and they’d stay here on Earth with their children. It wasn’t as huge a relief as he thought he’d feel._

_Shaking her head, she took his hand and got up without breaking eye contact. She didn’t need to say anything. He knew exactly what she wanted to tell him. They should call it a day._

_Go home._

_Try to ignore the pain they felt at the news._

_There was no going back to Atlantis._

_But at least they didn’t need to worry about their kids._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, this chapter holds a bit more info into what happened over twenty years ago, and Josh and Caleb are busy discovering stuff… Thanks for still reading and following this story! I’ll be back next week!


	12. Chapter 12

** Chapter 12 **

_2033_

The stone was rough under his fingertips and warm from the sun. Already it had absorbed the heat surrounding them.

“Did you do that?” Josh asked, scooting closer and bending over to look at the tile from that angle. “Plop it open?”

“No?!” He only realized he was panicking when he heard his own voice. This had never happened before. In fact, this wasn’t supposed to happen! What sort of mediaval mechanism sprang open at the slightest touch like this?

“Should I call the others?”

“They’re gonna lynch me if I broke this,” Caleb said quietly and took a deep breath. “Should I get it out?”

“Sure… but don’t scream if there’s woodlice.”

“Urgh! Don’t!” Caleb wasn’t squeamish, but he wasn’t too fond of insects crawling under important artefacts either.

Josh laughed and shook his head. “Come on, get it out.”

Biting his lip, Caleb sat there, staring for a moment. This was better than Christmas could ever be. The sheer thrill of wondering. There might be nothing under there, but then again, there might be. It was more than likely that there was. “Got the camera?”

“Shoot, hang on.” Josh fell back on his heel and reached behind him to grab his bag and the camera he carried everywhere he went. It was the ancient monstrosity his mother had given him upon receiving his doctorate and must be twenty years old at least. It still had that old stamp on in declaring it as property of the US Air Force.

“What do you think it could be?”

“Woodlice,” Josh laughed with a shrug, but his eyes were wide with excitement, as he bent low again, first taking a picture of the tile which Caleb was still holding on to, then of the tile from the side. “What do _you_ think?”

“Qumran, second edition.”

“Wow, ambitious.” Josh shook his head and wiped his brow.

No, it wasn’t too probable that something like the discovery of hitherto unknown biblical texts were buried here, but the discovery in the caves of Qumran nearly a hundred years ago, were still considered one of the major archaeological findings of the previous century. One could still hope to find something significant here as well. There was that new, strange writing, the mechanism that had hidden whatever lay beneath the tile, in combination with the location. The western wall of a long forgotten cloister, facing a medieval castle, which was still considered an oddity by the entire world.

“Let’s see,” Caleb muttered, held the tile with his thumbs and carefully used his index fingers to lift the tile.

It gave way far too easily. Almost like it’d been waiting to be lifted. Caleb quickly pushed the thought away and shook his head. That was just stupid thinking. But he couldn’t help registering that the thought had crossed his mind, no matter how quickly it allowed itself to be subdued again.

“Wow, look at that!” Josh was so close to the ground now that his cheek was pressed hard against the grey Italian dust, the camera lens right there on the ground with him.

“What?”

“Glowing. That thing’s glowing!”

Caleb nearly dropped the tile at this, but he blinked and pulled it all the way out, sensing the strange resistance that indivated something was attached to the tile. Something long, instinctively turning it around. Whatever it was, looked like an elongated rock made of yellowish crystal. Touches of orange and the occasional speck of green burnt in his eyes as he looked at it and the black veins running from bottom to top, shaping the surface of the object into something that looked almost like it was out of this world. What made it even more strange was the soft warm glow emitting from its centre. Almost like the sun shining through yellowish, thick curtains.

“Is that… the world’s biggest topaz?” Josh breathed, ripping Caleb’s gaze away from the object. Whatever it was, he had the distinct feeling it didn’t really belong here. A sudden shiver ran down his spine, when he heard someone laugh behind him. Almost like they’d been caught doing something they weren’t supposed to be doing. Which was completely ludicrous, of course.

He turned his head ever so slightly to look at Josh. Not long now and the others would see what they’d unearthed here. Without hesitating even a moment longer, Josh grabbed the crystal and stuffed it unceremoniously into his bag. The protest was on Caleb’s lips, but he quickly turned it into a cough, when he also heard the footsteps behind him. He quickly bent over and started pouring dirt into the hole they’d just unearthed.

What the hell was he doing here? Just sitting here with an artefact which he and Josh had practically stolen from a dig site stood against everything he was. Or thought he was.

Right now, the word which crossed his mind to describe himself and Josh as well would be _grave robber_. That in itself was nonsense, of course. There had been no grave. Just this strange crystal and a tile, both of which were invaluable. And they’d taken it. Just like that.

“So?” Josh asked, coming out of the bathroom in sweatpants and a light shirt, dry-towelling his dark hair. “What d’you think?”

“A lot of very unpleasant things,” Caleb said, turning the towel on which they’d placed the tile, writing facing the table. The crystal itself appeared to be very sturdy. When Josh had reached into his backpack here at the hotel, Caleb had been almost sure it would have snapped, but the thing still looked exquisite.

“So, are we sure this thing is real, or did someone place it there as a joke?”

Caleb shrugged as Josh sat down next to him, elbows on the table. “Seems like an awful lot of trouble, to be honest.”

Josh shrugged. “Stranger things have happened… I don’t want to be the laughing stock of the archaeological community like some people we know.” Raising his head slightly, Josh looked at Caleb again. Of course he was referring to Daniel, maybe even to their mothers, a topic which neither one of them was particularly fond of right now.

Caleb huffed. “Nobody is gonna believe us we discovered a glowing crystal in a medieval cloister.”

“No… what makes it glow, though… shout we try to-“ He’d only barely reached out his hand, when Caleb grabbed his wrist and shook his head.

“Don’t you dare break it!”

“Will you relax?” Shaking his head, he reached out for the crystal again and Caleb forced himself to lean back in his chair.

“It’s not warm or anything,” Josh said quietly, tracing the tip of the crystal. “Huh…” They were silent for a moment, just staring at the soft glow emanating from within the depths of the object. It was truly mesmerizing, and yet it was making them both feel slightly uncomfortable at the same time. Like just looking at this thing was wrong.

“So…” Caleb cleared his throat. “What are we gonna do with this thing?”

Josh let out a huff and brushed his hand through his ashy blond hair. “Hide it somewhere and leave the riddles for our grandchildren to solve?”

Despite his laugh, Caleb had to admit, the prospect was appealing to say the least. There was just so much wrong with this! The writing, which neither of them had ever seen anywhere, the way the crystal had been hidden under a specific tile… and the object itself… “We’re not dreaming, are we?”

“Not that I know,” Caleb sighed. He scratched his chin and kept his eyes focused on the crystal. “Tell you what… we keep this thing a secret for now… it’s unorthodox, but until we know a bit more, we can’t exactly make this thing public. But if we ever do find out what it is, we still have the footage of the find itself.”

“And if it’s a hoax we’ll be on the safe side as well.” God, how he hoped that was true. He wasn’t in the mood for any kind of earth-shattering revelation. He took a deep breath, but couldn’t bring himself to tear his eyes away from the thing. He carefully picked it up again, ignoring Caleb’s soft hiss, and laid it down on the towel to take another look at the letters.

No, this really was no decorative pattern. And it almost looked like type-writing. The letters were broad, the angles finely carved and accurate. “We should try and get some dating on this,” he said quietly. There were some traces of dirt left in the shallow ridges. It wasn’t a perfect solution, but it might at least get them some idea as to when the tile had been buried. As to the crystal… since it wasn’t made of any kind of formerly living material, carbon dating was out of the question. But maybe they’d find references to this sort of structure somewhere. They just had to be careful. At least that would give them some clue as to when this kind of art had been popular.

“I-“ Josh began, but he was interrupted by the soft ringing coming from Josh’s bedside table. He sighed. “Tell the team we’ll be there in ten. No, tell them we’re not coming.” He sounded annoyed. Not that Caleb could blame him. He’d never been less hungry in his life.

He slowly got to his feet and his heart sank when he saw the caller ID. Rolling his eyes, he sat on the bed and looked at the phone. He’d ignored his mother’s call that morning, but he got the sense that he couldn’t exactly ignore his dad’s call as well. He waited for another half a minute, pondering whether or not he could really pick up, but at least his dad wouldn’t want to talk about his most recent findings. At least not in detail.

The two Tok’ra representatives were just leaving. One of them, a dark-skinned woman, now the host to Maat, had been a member of the last days of the Atlantis expedition, looked up at him and waved at him. After being injured during the final attempt to save the city, Lieutenant Jordan had volunteered to become host to a Tok’ra, renewing and strengthening the bond between the Tok’ra and the Tau’ri at least for a while. Evan had been glad to see her again.

Evan was standing by the briefing room window, watching them pass through the event horizon. The talks weren’t anything unusual, just the bi-monthly catch-up chat between two allies. The galaxy was peaceful for the most part, or at least their corner of it was, and the smuggler rings weren’t making too much trouble at the moment. What was news to him, was that the Tok’ra had apparently managed to produce a clone of their queen Egeria with a recently discovered and apparently untouched lab belonging to the now-deceased Ba’al. Up to that point, Evan hadn’t even known the Tok’ra had been looking into that, but apparently the ties between their two people still weren’t what they were supposed to be.

He was holding the phone to his ear and turned around slowly when he heard footsteps approach. Alex had been at the SGC all day as a consultant on an artefact which Major Filan’s team had brought back the previous week. Every new member of the SGC received a crash course in Ancient nowadays, some even pulled through the whole massive course which Alex, Jackson and Jonas had thrown together in the first years after things had started calming down in the galaxy and Alex considered herself too old to go on regular missions through the Gate. Apparently the Egan, who was the anthropologist on Filan’s team, still valued Alex’s opinion. That ought to be a good sign.

“Anything good?” Evan asked when Alex passed through the door. She hovered behind the chair at the end of the table for a moment, then opted for the one closest to him. It was strange seeing her here in civilian clothes, he thought. But then again, he hadn’t seen her here in years. Up until now they hadn’t really needed to be here together again.

“Maybe. I think it’s just poems. So do they. They’re gonna ask Daniel for confirmation.” She leaned back and folded her hands over her stomach after she took off her glasses. She’d started doing that some time ago. Was her eyesight actually getting better again? “Caleb?”

Evan nodded, slowly walked over to her, and pulled up the chair next to hers. The crow’s feet in the corners of her eyes deepened for a moment as she smiled at him and took his hand. Should he hang up? Give it another try once they were home? That would be another three hours at least and Caleb would probably be asleep by then. He was about to drop the phone on the table behind him when he heard the familiar voice. “Hi, Dad.”

Something the size and weight of a rock seemed to drop from his chest when he heard his son’s voice. “Caleb! Hey!” He grinned at Alex and squeezed her hand. “Happy Birthday.”

“Happy Birthday, honey!” she said loud enough so Caleb must hear her. Evan quickly pressed the speaker tile on his phone display. No video chat for now. Not in this environment. He was glad enough the reception down here had improved.

“Yeah, thanks! How’ve you been?” He sounded distracted. Had they dragged him from a little impromptu birthday party? Evan certainly hoped so. It meant catching him in a good mood.

“Good!” Alex said, her eyes bright. Twenty-five years ago, around this time, she’d been stuck in an elevator with Daniel, giving birth to their son who was no thousands of miles away. He still felt like it had happened yesterday. “How was your day? How’s the party.”

“No party, Mom, I’m just hanging out with Josh. We’re really beat.” He sounded it too. Exhausted and a bit annoyed.

Alex pulled a face and looked at Evan with a frown. This really wasn’t going too well, was it? “How’s the research going then? We don’t want to bother you for too long.”

“You’re not bothering me. Really. Thanks for calling.” He didn’t sound entirely sincere either, but before Evan could squeeze Alex’s hand, she was up on her feet, her arms folded in front of her chest. At the sight of her lips pressed into a thin line, he felt a sudden surge of anger. Caleb didn’t have to be happy to hear his parents’ voices, although it felt awful. But he didn’t have to talk to them like this was nothing but a duty. If he was busy, he might as well hang up. And Evan hated himself for even thinking that.

This wasn’t fair. Caleb wasn’t being fair. The way he’d been behaving towards them, no matter how low-key his apprehension was, wasn’t fair. But there was no way Evan would attack him now. Not from so far away. Not on Caleb’s birthday. And yes, Caleb was frustrated, but that didn’t mean he was allowed to sulk like a toddler. “We’re still at the foundations of the buildings, making maps and stuff,” Caleb added, his tone bored now. “We only have a week to go before we have to shut down and apply for the next project here. Josh’s really invested in this.”

Alex stood still, leaning against the window overlooking the Gate Room.

“So… no time to party. And we’re too tired to be honest. Guess we’ll just get some terrible room service.” 

Evan pulled a face and got up himself. Twenty-five years and this young man on the other end talked to them like he was a next-door neighbour. A quarter of a century ago, he would never have thought this might happen. “You do that. I guess the package hasn’t arrived yet?”

At this, Caleb laughed for the first time. It didn’t evoke a smile from Alex though. She was just standing there, staring at him, her eyes wide and terrified. She hated the distance between herself and their son. So did Evan, but so far there’d been little they could do about it. He reached out to touch Alex’s arm.

“No, I guess I’ll have to do without the traditional tin of Earl Grey and cookies for another few days. Thanks.”

“It’s not just that in there, you know?” Evan said, forcing himself to smile so their son could hear it.

“Yes, I know… I’ll let you know when it gets here, okay? About this Trier trip-“ Caleb paused and Evan felt that sudden stab of pain in his chest again. He wouldn’t come. Grace had already tried to prepare them for it. Caleb sighed. “I booked a flight from Chicago to Frankfurt. I can’t stay for more than a couple of days, though.”

Evan closed his eyes and nodded, relieved. It was an olive branch. That was something. “That’s okay, Caleb. We’re glad you’re coming at all.” He bit his lip. Maybe he shouldn’t have said those last two words, but they’d slipped out before he even knew he could have a chance of holding them back.

“Yeah… listen, I gotta go, Josh wants to grab dinner after all, so…”

“Sure… have a nice night out.” Evan rasped.

“Say hi to him for us!” Alex chimed in and when Evan had hung up, she seemed to collapse against the glass.

Evan hesitated for a moment, then reached out to her, touching her hips and pulling her close. “We have to tell him, huh?”

“Yes,” Alex said, letting out a long breath as she hugged him back. If someone walked in on them now… but Evan didn’t care. With a sigh, he pressed his cheek against hers. “He knows we’re keeping things from him…and now Grace is in on it, too. He feels like we-“ her voice broke and she let go of him, the rattling of the metal staircase interrupting their quiet talk. Someone was coming. She quickly turned her back to him and slid into his office.

With a sigh, Evan slipped the phone back into his pocket. “Sergeant,” Evan greeted the technician. Her name was Watson, he reminded himself. Josephine Watson. First Chuck Campbell had replaced Sergeant Harriman when the latter retired, and a couple of years ago, when Campbell had retired at the same time as his husband Rick Fisherman, Watson had taken his place. He and Alex really were among the oldest people still involved in the program. Maybe Grace was right. Maybe he should have left as well, instead of embarking on this endeavour. He just didn’t feel ready for that yet. “What’s up?” He heard the office door close, but didn’t turn to look around.

“Sir, we just received a subspace transmission from the Nox.” They’d been unable to dial the planet after Grace’s suggestion, and in a way Evan had been relieved. They’d had to take the _Apollo_ on a detour back to the Nox homeworld to drop off a message. That had been weeks ago. To get an answer now seemed a bit strange.

Watson smiled at him and nodded. “They said we can send a team through anytime. I’ll forward the message to you, Sir, just thought you’d like to hear it straight away.”

“Yes, thanks,” Evan nodded and crossed his arms over his chest. He had to admit, now wasn’t a particularly good time to receive that piece of news, but there was nothing for it. Grace would have to go and he’d have to contact her team leader. “I’ll get to it straight away.”

“Yes, Sir!” Watson nodded again, then hurried back down the stairs. He couldn’t remember being the one who had trained her for this program, but then again, he hadn’t been the only instructor, and she hadn’t gone through the Academy training program anyway.

Alex was sitting on one of the chairs in front of his desk, her elbows on the uncomfortable armrests as she stared at her hands. He approached her carefully and sat down on the edge of his desk, watching as she carefully wiped away the tears. They came more easily nowadays. She still didn’t cry a lot, but since Caleb’s birth, she seemed more comfortable with them. At least in front of him. Not that it made him feel any better, but he had to admit, he was a bit relieved to see her display emotions like this. That had been hard for her once.

He swallowed hard. “I can grant him some level of security clearance, and I guess we can tell him everything and keep it between us, but do you really think that’ll make things easier on him?”

Alex wiped her face and looked up at him. “Probably not,” she said, her voice still hoarse. “But I think he’ll understand… Grace did.”

“Grace is a different case, though.” Evan licked his lips, pushed away from the table and sat next to her. “She’s military, and though the two of them have always known that we two have secrets, Caleb hates being kept in the dark.” He found himself grinning. “Like when he forced us to admit that Santa is made up? He was what? Six?”

“Five,” Alex hiccupped, returning his grin. She reached over and touched his knee. She’d forgotten her glasses in the briefing room, and her teary eyes appeared to be even bigger without them.

“Right… Five.” Her hands were warm and dry as he took them into both of his. “When should we tell him? During the trip?”

“When he has nowhere to run? Probably not the best idea.” She chuckled and wiped her eyes again. “Let’s visit him before. When he gets back next week. Maybe that Saturday? Can you make time?”

He nodded. “If there’s nor galactic incident, yes.” He smiled despite himself and kissed her cheek. A week to prepare. This was more momentous than telling Grace had been. And more difficult. But in a way he was glad he’d received his promotion. That there was nothing there to prevent him from giving Caleb security clearance. He just wished he’d never had to keep this a secret from him at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one took so long. I guess I’m starting to slip into writer’s block, what with daily routines as monotonous as they are. And yet, there’s an awful lot of work to be done. It’s a super weird combination and I still haven’t found a good schedule.
> 
> Anyway: I hope you’re all well and still enjoying this story. Feel free to comment on anything that might bother you, and even more free to comment on something you’re excited by. 😊 See you soon! I have a nice scene planned for the next chapter (or possibly the one after the next one, not sure yet).


	13. Chapter 13

** Chapter 13 **

_2033_

“It’s a shame you can only stay for two days,” Adam said, putting up his feet on the wooden garden chair. For a man in his late sixties, he was still pretty agile. Well, to be fair, Caleb’s parents were still in pretty good shape as well. So were Lucas’ parents and even Josh’s. Being sixty or seventy apparently didn’t equal being ancient anymore.

“Yeah, well, I thought, since I’m on this side of the big pond, I could at least stop by.”

Adam nodded, pulled the sunglasses out of his breast pocket and put them on. It was eerily warm for the end of September, even considering that by now even the most ignorant person had to accept that climate change was a real thing. “Your grandma was happy to see you.”

“Are you really gonna put her in a home, though?”

With a sigh, Adam shrugged and when he spoke he sounded more than just a little annoyed. This was probably not the first time he’d heard this. “She wants to go, you know?”

“After you told her about the idea, I guess?”

“No.” He sat up again and reached for the teapot set in the centre of the table. “She said she wanted to go and then we started looking.” He shrugged again and poured them another cup. “I guess she sees it’s all getting a bit much for Mick and me. Walking anywhere is becoming a struggle and she has trouble putting on her clothes. Not long now and she won’t be able to go on the loo on her own.”

“Well that, and she really wants to talk to people her own age a bit more,” Mick said, coming out of the conservatory adjoining the kitchen. Adam’s husband was ten years younger than Adam himself, but he was completely grey by now himself. Leaning over, he kissed Adam’s forehead and took a seat opposite Caleb. The two of them made a cute couple, Caleb thought. Even after about twenty years. Somehow seeing them together wasn’t half as annoying as watching his own parents.

Caleb never knew the woman his uncle had been married to before, but Caleb couldn’t picture his uncle with anyone but Mick Egan. Two pilots who had basically met in the cockpit, fallen in love and made a life together, first in an apartment in London, now in the house in which Adam had grown up.

“She’s still fast asleep, by the way,” Mick said and stretched, his face tilted up to the sun. “So, how was that research trip of yours?”

“Fine,” Caleb answered, taking a sip of the excellent tea his uncle had prepared for them. “I guess we’ll go back there in spring, depending on whether or not Josh gets another research grant, or I do, or we get permission at all… We got a pretty good idea of the cloister itself though. How big it was, how many monks might have lived there.” He said it casually, like all that had really happened was that they had dug up some walls and found a smashed ink pot in addition to some other odds and ends. He had to practice that.

Josh had taken the crystal and the tile with him back to New York and would start doing research straight away. Come to think of it, he had most likely gone from the plane straight to the lab.

“So, nothing fun?” Mick asked, picking up a muffin and starting to peel off the top. “What about Josh, then?”

“What about Josh?” Caleb asked. The sudden burning knot in the pit of his stomach made him want to get up and hide inside, preferably in the small guest bedroom which had once been his mothers’.

“Mick…” Adam raised his eyebrows, but Mick just shrugged.

“I can ask, right? Last time you were here you talked incessantly about this friend of yours, and you never gave a name, so I was wondering.”

“No, it’s not like that.” Caleb wiped his brow and shook his head. He remembered exactly who he had been talking about, and the reminder stung. He hadn’t talked about Josh though… during their annual pub visit he’d found himself telling them how much he missed spending time with Lucas, which, in hindsight, probably hadn’t been a good idea. Better to steer the conversation away from Lucas. “I talked to this girl a couple of times, though. I met her at the library ages ago and I’m thinking about asking her out again.”

“Huh,” Mick said, with a shrug. “Okay. You sure you want to date her, though?”

“Mick!” Adam laughed, shaking his head. “Leave the poor boy alone, will you?”

Caleb was still holding his cup and he had his eyes trained on the ember liquid inside. The knot was still there. It always appeared when someone mentioned his potential love-life, and he hated it. The fact was, Elinore Woodstock was nice. He’d met with her once after his return from Colorado Springs in the summer, they occasionally talked, but there was something missing. Maybe a spark? Maybe something he kept searching for but might never find? Who could tell? He wasn’t even sure she was looking for a spark. She hadn’t even tried getting physically close to him. Well, they’d talked about his work at first, then about hers, but somehow… things were strange with her. When she’d approached him first, he’d been downright certain she was looking for more than she was fishing for now. And he didn’t mind. He kind of liked things the way they were right now.

One thing was for certain though: he wouldn’t find that spark with Josh Murdoch. The very idea made him shiver uncomfortably. “It’s not Josh, okay?” he muttered into his cup and drained it, instantly wishing for more. Maybe even something stronger.

“Fine, sorry I brought it up.” Mick raised his hands apologetically. “Does your mom know, though? And your dad?”

“That I’m not sure whether I’m straight, bi or gay? No? I guess they’ll be fine with whatever happens?” He shrugged and looked at Adam. “They didn’t give you a hard time, did they?”

“When I told them about Mick? Yeah, they did.” Adam laughed at the look of shock on Caleb’s face. “Because I cheated on my wife with this beautiful lad, here.”

Mick leaned back and covered his face with his hands. “Oh, shut up.”

“What I’m saying is, you’re not gonna have to worry about that, I guess. And Grace already knows, doesn’t she?”

With a huff, Caleb got up. He had to admit, if there was anyone in the world he was comfortable talking about these things with, it was his uncles, but that didn’t mean he wanted to dive into that right now. They’d scratched the subject last year already, and Caleb had a feeling that ought to be enough for now. He didn’t feel like exploring that right now. And he sure as hell wasn’t going to tell them about the time Lucas had nearly kissed him and Grace had barged into the room. Nothing had happened afterwards, but he had the idea, that Grace might have told his uncle. Damn that little sister of his. “Gonna get some water,” he muttered under his breath and hurried inside to grab a glass from the shelf and fill it with water.

He wasn’t thirsty, but he was grateful for the excuse. He had no idea what might have happened, had Grace stayed put, and how the hell was he supposed to know how he felt about missing out on the opportunity.

And there it was.

_Missing out on the opportunity._

That was stupid, wasn’t it?

When his phone gave soft chirping noise at that precise moment, he was almost sure fate was playing tricks on him. When he reached into his pocket, he was expecting a message from Lucas, who rarely sent him messages anyway, but it was from Josh. Of course. He must be home already.

As usual it was a lengthy message. Grinning to himself, Caleb leaned against the counter in the narrow kitchen and started reading while his uncles were talking in the garden. Caleb only picked up snippets, but apparently they were talking about re-doing the garden. Well, they certainly put effort into that.

_Hey Caleb,_

_Guess you’re still with your uncle? I got here yesterday and I’ve been doing some research. The artefact is still at home - of course, home being my parents’ place… I really hate not being able to afford a place of my own. Seriously, who decided that academics shouldn’t earn enough money to live on their own in New York! Anyway… don’t say a word about me spending too much. I know everything you could possibly say!_

_Here goes, I’ve just been going over the digital library, but there’s tons of stuff, so I started with medieval literature of the region. Since we found the crystalthingie in a scriptorium, that might be a good start? But then there’s that link to Egypt I think I may have found between Alexandria and Castel del Monte? Would you like taking a look at that? Doesn’t your mom have about a billion books about old relics? Didn’t she digitize them? Just an idea. Would you mind checking on that?_

A short message would have done just as well, Caleb thought. That guess seemed far-fetched, somehow, but Josh wasn’t entirely wrong. That cloister had been exactly where the text had said it would be, and that text had been written and stored in Alexandria, Egypt, which had been a massive centre of religious life in Late Antiquity. So… why the hell wouldn’t he take a look at the books his mother had given him? Hadn’t her main focus been ancient religions?

He read the message again. The question remained what they’d do once they found information on the text and references the thing itself. They would have to talk things over with their teams first of all. Well, maybe they should’ve done that a couple of days ago… somehow they had outmanoeuvred themselves here. And what were the chances of them finding clues? Especially since neither of them had ever come across something even resemling it?

After about five more minutes Adam walked in, taking off his sunglasses as he entered the conservatory. “You’re going straight to Chicago?”

“Yeah,” Caleb said. “Mom and Dad want to come over on Saturday, so…”

“Something wrong? You don’t sound too excited about them. And Grace said something… Are they giving you a hard time?” Adam raised his eyebrows and leaned against the counter next to Caleb. His uncle must be one of the nicest people on the planet. Caleb would never understand why he didn’t really get along with his dad, who was widely considered to be a likeable person.

“Urgh, I don’t know. This whole secrecy thing with the Air Force is just getting on my nerves… especially now Grace has become part of it as well. I didn’t mind before, but this is just bugging me. Like, they pretend we’re this incredible family-” as he said it, he realized that wasn’t true. His parents never pretended… they were ordinary people, accepted it and he loved them, but the fact that they acted like nothing was wrong, when they couldn’t even talk about their every day lives, was just infuriating! He sighed and tugged at his hair. “Sorry, that’s wrong. But I have this gut feeling, you know? They talk about things when I’m not there. Things I’m no part of.”

Adam frowned at his naked feet. He tapped his arm, thinking hard. What Caleb would have expected was some kind of reassurance that things weren’t as bad as Caleb thought they were. Or a reminder that he must know what _top secret_ meant. That is mom was a teacher, his dad a general and his sister an engineer and a pilot and that that was all. But Adam pondered for a moment, evidently thinking hard about what to say. What he did say was: “Have they ever told you about that sister of yours? Nora?”

The name hung in the air for a moment like a palpable thing. Caleb looked down at his glass. Blue with a tinge of red around the rim. Very modern. “I mean, I know she died…”

“They never told me the full story, I don’t think they ever told anyone outside the military… but… they’d broken up years before she was born, and I have to admit, I was glad your dad was gone for a while. Even if Alex was miserable and wouldn’t date anyone else. I saw what being married to an Air Force pilot had done to my mom, so I was relieved.” He sighed and poured himself a glass of water as well. “Anyway, your mom and dad met again and were on an assignment somewhere in the Middle East. Alex was doing some consulting, or whatever she’s doing for them…” He cleared his throat and Caleb was on the verge of asking what the hell Adam thought his mother _was_ doing for the military, because as far as Caleb knew, his mother only taught languages at the Academy and wasn’t that a joke in itself? But Adam continued without looking at Caleb: “They went missing then. Seven months. Prisoners to some warlord or whatever. They never really said and I never believed a word of it, because that story doesn’t make sense. But when they got back, she’d had a baby and that baby wasn’t with them. I could’ve killed your dad. And maybe it wasn’t even his, who knows? But he should have protected her, you know? And he didn’t. Maybe he couldn’t, but I guess I’ll never know.”

Caleb stared at his uncle open-mouthed. Of all the things, he’d never thought Adam would tell him such a tall tale. And it must be! His mother a prisoner of war? To think of his dad being stranded in some dirty old prison cell was bad enough, but he could imagine it. ut his mother? And why had they never told him?! “You’re kidding… Nora died in Colorado Springs. I saw the grave and the photos.”

“Yes, well… they got her back somehow. But she died after just a few weeks.” He shrugged. “It was a tough time… I seriously thought that would kill her, or rather them… To be honest, I’m not surprised they never told you…”

The last sentenced echoed and changed his own thoughts. Caleb felt like sitting down. His mother a prisoner in some … whatever it’d been? Trapped with just his father and pregnant? Delivering a baby and losing it like that? He bit his lip, telling himself he had no right to feel hurt and betrayed right now. But he couldn’t help it. “Why?” he croaked, setting the glass down with such force he was afraid it’d shatter there and then. His mother had been in her early thirties back then. Had she been raped? The images flooding his mind made it harder to breathe.

Did Grace know?

“Why aren’t you surprised?”

“As far as I know they didn’t really talk for weeks after she died… Why would they tell you, if they couldn’t talk to each other? We were all surprised they stayed together after that, bought a house, went on another assignment to somewhere, but they found a way somehow… and a couple of years later you came along. That can’t have been easy as well. I suppose they wanted to keep these things as far away from you as possible.”

Maybe… maybe Adam was right. But the fact was, he couldn’t think that way. He couldn’t even wrap his head around the fact that he knew next to nothing about his sister, let alone his mother’s involvement in some kind of mission for the Air Force. He felt bile rising in his throat and quickly picked up the glass again to fill it with water and drain it twice. His hands were shaking, his gaze unfocused. He took a deep breath, ignoring his uncle’s stare. “So why are you telling me now?” What he wanted was some time to process. That was a bit much to throw at a person like this, literally out of the blue.

Adam sighed and Caleb finally raised his eyes to look at him. Adam Woolston looked nothing like his sister. Well… maybe the chin and the mouth, but that was about it. And he was protective of her, but what Caleb saw now was downright terrifying. He couldn’t even place it, before Adam spoke up again. “Look, I’m sorry I’m springing this on you, I just thought it might help you understand that there are some things they’re not telling you, because they’re not ready. I don’t believe half of the story they told us back in the day, but they kept these things from all of us. About things that were deeply personal to them and shouldn’t have anything to do with the Air Force. Let me tell you, if anyone’s ever gonna find out what that mystery is, it’s probably you. And if it’s not, you’re just gonna have to live with it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So… Adam is back. I found it weird how normal he is around Caleb… but then again, he likes his nephew, doesn’t he? And he’s still an arrogant prick sometimes. But also loveable. If you guys know Cabin Pressure by John Finnemore, I always picture him as someone similar to Douglas Richardson.
> 
> Next step: discovering some more stuff. Caleb really isn’t liking this, huh?
> 
> See you next week! Stay safe!


	14. Chapter 14

_2033_

His eyes were burning. He’d been reading all flight and the hologram started swimming before his eyes. By now he must have swiped through six books, page for page whenever the index suggested that something useful might be hidden in there. But apart from certain descriptions of gems, which had next to nothing to do with the crystal he and Josh had found, there wasn’t a whole lot in these books.

Leaning back against his seat, he looked up at the plastic ceiling, at the green dot blinking above the head of his neighbour. The older man was fast asleep, and taking up part of Caleb’s seat as well. It wasn’t warm on this plane, but he was still far too hot. The heat emanating from the man was uncomfortable to say the least, and he was snoring so soundly, it was unlikely he’d get to go to the toilet anytime soon. Well, he might as well close his eyes as well. He desperately needed sleep, or at least his eyes needed rest.

He turned off the hologram, stuffed the projector into the bag provided in the seat in front of him and looked at his watch. In about two hours they’d stop in Denver and he had about three hours to get on the next flight to Chicago. It was a massive detour, but the cheapest ticket he’d gotten. By now he was regretting it. He might have saved money, but he was wasting time.

Well, he could make up for it by at least making sure he read as much as possible while they were in the air. And the ancient edition of _The Eye of the Sun_ which his mother had digitized about twenty years ago, could wait until after his nap. If he ever got to sleep, that was.

The man next to him turned with a low grunt, so his face was turned towards Caleb.

Pulling a face, Caleb turned on his side as best he could, so he was facing the window. Not at all perfect, but better than that guy’s breath on his face.

_The heat that hit him, made his skin burn the moment he stepped out of the car. Blinking, he readjusted his hat and approached the man standing by the glass doorway._

_Tall, broad-shouldered and with his usual thin-lipped smile, Colonel Martin Edwards returned his curt salute, then extended his hand to shake Evan’s. “Good to see you, Colonel,” Edwards said with a wide grin. “That badge suits you.”_

_Evan laughed softly, as Edwards pointed at the silver oak leaves on his shoulder patches. “Thanks, Colonel.”_

_Edwards nodded and motioned for the airmen disembarking the truck behind Evan to unload the parts of the Jumper which had been discovered near a new dig site on Chulak. They’d been able to get three Jumpers back to Earth after the fall of Atlantis, and these parts could be used for further study at Area 51. “So, I take it Doctor Lorne is still at it?”_

_“That she is,” Evan said, grinning, as he followed Edwards into the air-conditioned building, while the airmen had to do the heavy lifting. “And excited at the prospect of finding artefacts of the Ancients on Chulak, especially since the Jaffa there are keen on learning more about their own history.”_

_“Good to hear. I’m sure the SGC is glad to have her back as well. Excavations always were her thing, weren’t they?”_

_“Yes.” Evan grinned even wider as he remembered Alex’s enthusiasm as she’d shown him the metal pot they’d found three days previously. It was almost like she had reverted back to the tourist guide he’d known first, and it was exhilarating to see her like that. “How’ve you been?” He swallowed down the more formal address. They were both Colonels now and he knew that Edwards wouldn’t like it, if he switched to older formalities now._

_The entrance was rather small, the floor clean and white, the walls barren except for a few pictures of F-302s. Clearly, this facility was only ever visited by authorized personnel. These fighter planes would look like science fiction fanart to any other pilot. And boy, would they stare at the jets now in use in the US, in Russia and in China. His own heart still leapt when he thought of the way these things could soar through the sky, and he missed being up in the air or in space whenever he saw one of them. The way you were pressed into the seat, when in any other plane your internal organs would already have turned to mush, always made his blood run hot._

_Even so, he was sure Alex was glad he didn’t really fly as much anymore. Especially since that near fatal crash in Antarctica._

_“Life’s quiet here, Lorne. Have to admit, I kind of like it.” Edwards nodded at the Sergeant on duty at the reception, then waved Evan through into his office to attend the paperwork._

_Evan chuckled, took off his hat and sat down in the chair Edwards was pointing at. “I get that, I really do.” Alex was still on Murdoch’s team, but she’d started talking about accepting a part-time teaching position at the Academy. Things really were quiet. They could only hope it would remain that way. And it had taken some getting used to, and the idea of returning to Pegasus had kept them all on their toes for some time, but although their work there wasn’t nearly done, although they’d left behind friends and allies, he had to admit, it was kind of nice not having to worry about having his life sucked out of him every time he went through the Gate._

_He smiled at Edwards as his former commanding officer sat down opposite him. Evan hadn’t seen him all that often since Edwards had be reassigned. Edwards rarely ever came to Colorado Springs anymore._

_“How’s the kid? O’Neill said something about a surprise birth at the SGC a couple of years back?” Edwards had the file with the paperwork already sitting on his desk, but he made no move to get on with it. He smiled at Evan in a way that told him the other was genuinely satisfied with his life and glad to see him well._

_“Two kids, actually,” Evan said with a wide smile. “Caleb is five, Grace turns four next week.”_

_A trace of grief flickered over Edwards’ face. Had he heard what happened with Johnson? Probably not, but he must remember Nora. He’d been part of the rescue team, after all. He’d been part of the search as well. That endless, tedious search, which had nearly destroyed both him and Alex. “That’s good to hear, Lorne,” he said with a nod. “Glad you two got things sorted out after all.”_

_Evan found himself blushing despite himself as he remembered Edwards’ offer to get him reassigned after Nora’s passing. “Thanks,” Evan said with a cough. “No, we’re okay.” In fact, he couldn’t remember when he and Alex had been more okay. The galaxy was safe, she could do her research, he’d started training new recruits for the SGC and next week Alex would finally get to go on that mission to meet the Nox to ask them about the writings they’d found in Pegasus._

_Edwards nodded again and pulled the file closer. “Alright then, let’s fill these out, then, so you can get back to your family, Lorne.”_

“What’re your reading there?”

Caleb looked up with a start. He’d been moving with the line, heading towards the passport control at Denver. He’d have to go through here before he could change to the domestic flight that would take him back home. God, he hated layovers. He looked over his shoulder and found the big man who had sat next to him on the plane staring at the holo screen in Caleb’s hand. “ _The Eye of the Sun_ ,” Caleb said curtly, hating himself for feeling like acting rude. The guy with the full, reddish beard and square glasses hadn’t kept him from sleeping on purpose.

“Huh,” the guy said. “Fantasy?”

Caleb blinked, returning fully to the present. “Archaeology,” he answered and took a deep breath at the confused look of the stranger. “It’s for work.” The line was starting to move again and he felt his feet starting to ache. The stranger still looked a bit confused and Caleb found himself smiling as the man showed a tiny trace of interest. Obediently, Caleb sighed and looked over his shoulder at the man. “Rituals observed by worshippers of Ra. Ancient Egyptian god of the sun?”

“Like in that old movie?” The man scratched his chin. “The Mummy? Brings the dead back to life?”

Caleb bit his lip and shook his head. “Not quite, no.” He found himself smiling. Imagining this book he was reading could bring the ancient Egyptian Gods to life, was intriguing to say the least. In the movie the book of the dead had done that. He’d watched it only once, but knew that his parents were obsessed with it. Not as obsessed as they were with Harry Potter, not even close, but there’d been a phase in his teens when his mother and father had called each other by the names of the protagonists. Those two were insane.

He pushed the pang away he felt the moment he thought this. His uncle’s words still hadn’t left him.

“Okay.” The man shrugged, reminding Caleb that, yes, he was still there. “So, did you travel for work?”

 _We could’ve talked on the plane, but you were too busy snoring,_ Caleb thought testily. His mind was full, and he hated that his thoughts kept drifting off to his parents. He was almost sure that his uncle’s words had mollified his constant anger somewhat.

Somewhat… Clearing his throat, Caleb nodded and returned his gaze back to the holo screen. The light here wasn’t exactly perfect for reading with the bright sunbeams streaming in through the massive glass windows on his left. Maybe his mother really was right about paper… but he couldn’t exactly carry three hundred books around with him wherever he went, could he?

He sensed that the guy wanted to keep talking, but Caleb just kept shuffling along, his carry-on bag between his feet, his eyes fixed on the screen. He swiped his thumb over the sensor bar, going through the pages.

A chapter about idols which were taken out to be worshipped. Mostly large golden disks by the looks of it, representing the sun. Well, that wasn’t much of a surprise. Why was he going through this again? Yes, well, he was trying to distract himself. From the thought of his parents trapped in some dirty room, terrified and beaten, and from the guy trying to start a conversation with him.

He cleared his throat and flipped the page again, his eyes turning straight to the text and ignoring the picture out of habit. Squinting he skimmed the text. Something about an annual display of a certain object, which glowed like the sun that was ruled by Ra. With a scoff, he moved on to the next page, then stopped.

Glowed like the sun.

“God, these guys are everywhere, aren’t they?” The words from the man behind him barely registered.

The object… the description sounded familiar, didn’t it? His pulse was starting to quicken just looking at the drawing. It was a copy of a mural which had been found in a tomb near Giza. A depiction of the sun, the rays of which were streaming down on the earth and, in the centre of the picture, two people. A woman and a man, the latter of which was taller than the woman and he was holding up something. An object, flat at the top and shaped like an uneven crystal towards the bottom. 

“Guess they’re looking for someone.”

Caleb blinked. He was already reaching for his phone to write to Josh when he looked up to see two men in the blue service dress uniforms his dad wore to work nowadays. And they were walking straight towards them. His heart sank when he met the eye of the taller one and realized they had identified him.

“They’re looking for you?”

Swallowing hard, Caleb picked up his bag, turned off his screen and stuffed it into the front compartment of the bag. “Seems like it,” he muttered.

“Doctor Lorne?”

“Is it my dad?” The words were out of his mouth before he’d fully wrapped his head around them. The way these men were looking at him, their faces impassive like statues, and yet the taller one’s eyes flickered for a moment in something akin to pity.

They’d known he’d be here, of course they’d known. And something had happened. Something had happened with his father… and then it hit him. What about Grace? She was a pilot! Had she crashed? The thought alone made his heart miss several beats.

“My name is Captain Markus Wood, this is Captain Philip Flint. Would you come with us, please?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dundunduuuun. Sorry, this was a short chapter, but I was in the mood for a cliffhanger. I’ll keep writing straight away!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this chapter is gonna be a bit longer again. Stay with me, this one's gonna be interesting. (I hope)

_2033_

Nobody spoke during the long drive up to Colorado Springs. They had confiscated his phone, but he was also not at all in the mood for skimming his books. And so he sat there, arms folded over his chest, while Captain Flint sat next to him and Wood was in the passenger seat and a young Sergeant who didn’t appear to have a name, drove the car along the highway.

South. They were going south. He remembered the route from the thousands of times he must have seen it already. The brownish, burnt grass and the lush green trees in the distance up on the mountains on their right. He recognized the street signs, telling them how far they still had to go, he recalled almost every single building they passed, knew exactly how long it would be from that particular gas station until they reached Air Force Academy.

The entrance Gate came into view and his heart dropped when the driver didn’t slow down. “Are we going to the hospital?” he croaked, his voice hoarse from disuse and tension. He folded his hands in his lap and turned to look at Flint. Nothing. The guy just sat there, staring straight out the windshield like Caleb didn’t even exist.

His hands were sweaty and the soft tingling at the back of his neck wouldn’t subside. They passed the road in which they would have had to turn in order to get to their home. They passed the park in which he and Lucas had taken a walk a few months ago and he felt sick to the core.

Where was his mother? Was she with his dad? With his sister?

They passed the narrow alleyway through which he and Lucas had walked.

The words died halfway to his lips as he was dreading to ask again. _What happened?_

_Who’s dead?_

But he knew these semi-robots would never answer. Just like his dad would never answer the big questions. Not even the new ones. Like how they had been captured by terrorists. How they managed to escape. What their life had been like after. How they’d managed to pull themselves together and stay a family against all odds.

Would he never answer? Or was it that he couldn’t?

Caleb fought hard against the lump in his throat.

What if it was Grace?

Would they have sent an Air Force security detail for that, though? For a mere Lieutenant? Wouldn’t they have left it for his parents to tell him?

He licked his lips and kept kneading his sweaty palms as they finally turned right. He’d seen this place countless times, of course. The long, winding road. The security guards posted two kilometres before the final gate even came into view. They were heading towards Cheyenne Mountain Air Force Base.

_“I was just too slow,” Alex breathed, her eyes squeezed shut as Murdoch pulled her pant leg apart. “I’m sorry.”_

_Evan was standing in the mouth of the cave, his gun trained on the ground. He hated seeing her like this, but he was relieved to have her back at all. “I don’t think they followed us,” he said quietly. What else was there to say? He wanted to be the one to take care of her, but there was little doubt Murdoch was better at this than Evan was. Murdoch wouldn’t flinch away from hurting her in order to fix her up._

_“I’d rather you be sure, Colonel,” Murdoch said, digging through the small med-pack Evan had brought along to get the tweezers out._

_They locked eyes and the fear he saw in Alex’s blue ones nearly stopped his heart. No, he really shouldn’t be the one attending to her right now. He tried smiling encouragingly at her, wishing he could wrap her in his arms, but he really should be looking out for those Furling patrols. “I’ll be back in ten,” he said quietly and Alex nodded._

_They’d get back home in one piece. That was what he wanted to tell her._

_They would get back to their kids._

_And if they didn’t, those two would have their aunt Ellen and even their uncle Adam._

_Things would be okay._

_But he couldn’t say it. Not in front of Murdoch, who must be worried sick about not getting back to his wife and kid right now._

_He bit his lip and forced his brain to focus on the task at hand. Make sure that the Furlings didn’t find them. Make sure these two were safe so the_ Hammond _could beam them up when the time came._

_Alex pressed her lips together to stifle a groan. Murdoch had started on that piece of shrapnel, trying to get it out of her calf. She screwed up her eyes, her breathing quickened and Evan turned away to look out of the cave entrance. They needed to get home. Alex needed to be safe._

_Everything else didn’t really matter and screw the alliance with the Nox, who had just abandoned them once they were conquered by the Furlings._

A short ride in an uncomfortable bus, then, and that was even weirder, he had to sign in, got a visitor’s badge and was ushered into the next elevator, which took them even further underground. Did they have a hospital down there?

Whatever was going on, by the time the elevator doors opened to reveal a long, concrete corridor with blue and yellow lines on the floor, he didn’t even remotely feel like asking what this was about. He was feeling sick to the pit of his stomach and his palms were so sweaty now, he didn’t dare wiping them off on his jeans, afraid they’d leave a stain.

His mind was racing and yet he was unable to reach even the trace of a coherent thought as they walked along that corridor which revealed next to nothing as to what people did on this base, until they turned a corner and reached a metal sliding door flanked by two youngish airmen.

His mother had done some research for the Air Force, he remembered all of a sudden. Hadn’t Adam told him so a few days ago? Would they consult him now? But why then hadn’t they visited him in his office? That didn’t seem very likely. Then what?

He bit the inside of his cheek as Flint nodded at the airman on the right, who turned around, pressed her palm to a sensor and next second the door slid open to reveal a square room with nothing in it but a simple metal table and two metal chairs sitting opposite each other.

“Please wait in there, Doctor Lorne.” Wood pointed at the inside of the room. At the browninsh grey walls. What a cheerful place.

Biting down harder, Caleb moved inside, shoving his hands into the pockets of his hands as his heart kept pumping wildly. Where was the hospital bed? Where was that certain something that would tell him what the hell was going on here.

_“There was a patrol, but they didn’t see me. They went the other way, back to the settlement.”_

_Murdoch had just finished tending to Alex’s wound. He leaned back to look at his watch. “The_ Hammond _should have been here by now, right?” he asked quietly, wiping his brow. Alex had been here on this planet alone for the better part of a month, studying ancient writings of the Nox, then as a refugee.. She’d been given protection once the negotiations had failed, but the Furlings not only occupied the Stargate, but also the imminent area of space surrounding the planet. After the IOA had refused to help the refugees on the Pegasus galaxy, Landry had sent them ahead to try and get Alex out of there with the promise that the_ Hammond _would get them out of there._

_Murdoch got up. “I’ll take over the watch,” he said quietly, correctly interpreting the look Alex and Evan were exchanging. When Murdoch had left the cave, Evan sat down next to her, wrapped her in his arms and just relished in the feeling of her breath against his skin. Up until now they hadn’t had a moment to themselves._

_“Where do you think the others are?”_

_Evan shrugged. “Fisherman took over the lead. I guess they’re hiding out somewhere else. Jonas is probably reading them a bed-time story.” He was being mean and he knew it, but it made Alex smile at least a bit. And Jonas wouldn’t mind, would he?_

_With the beginning of the siege and subsequent conquest of the Nox, the Furlings had successfully managed to disturb their radio signals. Evan could only hope that now that they were out in the open instead of inside a Nox stronghold, Carter would be able to lock onto their tracker signals._

_“Okay,” Alex breathed, tightening her hold on him. “When did you see them last?”_

_“Right before we left. They’re with your brother and Ellen promised to check in on them.. They’re okay. Grace bumped her head pretty hard last week, but she’s okay. No concussion.” The sight of so much blood trickling down the back of her head had left him terrified though and only the reassurances from the doctor at the emergency room had managed to calm him down. He felt Alex freeze in his arms and kissed her forehead. “They’re alright, I swear.”_

_Alex let out a long breath and nodded._

The door opened and Caleb let out a sigh of relief. But there was no energy left within him for a smile. Not with the way his father was looking at him. The way he carried himself, his shoulders tense, his face serious. He motioned for the airmen behind him to close the door and approached the square metal table.

“Hey,” he said quietly, dropping the tablet he’d been carrying on the table.

“Hey,” Caleb breathed. “Is it Grace? Mom?”

Evan frowned at him, taken aback, but he shook his head. “No. Are you okay?” No hug, no pat on the shoulder. Just that serious face and a tension between them which made the clear, conditioned air almost impossible to breathe.

Caleb nodded once. “Yeah. Dad, what’s going on?”

“Take a seat, please.” Clearing his throat, he reached into his pocket and placed a small, square device in the centre of the table. Black plastic with four little holes on the top and four buttons on the side.

“What is this?” Caleb asked, his heart starting to pound. It was like this wasn’t even his dad. Just a stranger… just that general, demanding him to sit down and provide him with the intel he needed.

“Caleb, please.” As though in a peace offering, Evan sat down and motioned for Caleb to follow suit. “We need to talk.”

“Talk?!” Caleb echoed, staring incredulously down at his father. It couldn’t possibly sound weird just to _him_ , could it? “We could’ve talked at home! Or on the phone! You didn’t need to have me kidnapped and brought here by those two robots.”

Taking a deep breath, nostrils flaring, Evan leaned back and folded his hands on the table, letting the words hang in the air as he pressed his lips into a thin line. It was obvious this whole scenario wasn’t playing out the way he’d hoped. Caleb didn’t care. This was just ridiculous! And then he saw how pale his father was, how tense his hands were. When their eyes met, Caleb saw the anger in his father’s features.

“I’m fed up with this,” Evan said, his voice deadly calm. That tone of voice usually preceded a major fight, in which Caleb started shouting and Evan’s voice remained level. Undisturbed like a lake on a cold, clear winter’s day.

Swallowing hard, Caleb folded his arms over his chest, refusing to give in to their pattern and knowing he had little choice but to get through this and calm the hell down if he didn’t want to risk causing a scene in his father’s place of work. But this was just so damn hard.

“Caleb, sit down,” Evan said again and Caleb collapsed into the other chair, feeling like a brat and pushing down the surge of anger as best he could. Failing had never been easier.

“This has to stop,” Evan added, his eyes flashing. “You sulking and treating us like we did you wrong.”

“Did I mention the kidnapping part just now?” The remark was past his lips before he could stop it, but he didn’t take it back. He might be the son of a general, but _he_ most certainly wasn’t military, and his father had better remember that.

Slowly and deliberately, Evan leant forward, his elbows on the table. A familiar scene, really, though Caleb hadn’t seen it since their last major row when Caleb was still in high school. “Do you want to know what’s been going on, or not?”

_She felt heavy in his arms._

_It was true, she wasn’t as quick as she used to be, but she was still a damn good shot and she’d been fast enough. The fact was, they just ran out of luck every now and again. It was as simple as that. He’d run out of it on their first mission together, hadn’t he? And she’d been there for him. She’d saved him, protected him and took care of him when all he could do was sit or lie down. Really, it was a miracle things had gone as well as they had for her for such a long stretch of time. He hadn’t been as lucky._

_Evan looked up when Murdoch came back. “It’s pouring. If we left any tracks, they’ll be long gone by now,” he said quietly and sat down opposite him, Alex’s feet were touching his knees, but he didn’t mind. These two were close. “Let’s just hope the others are okay.”_

_“Thanks, Oliver,” Evan said. “For taking care of her.” He never seemed to be there when she needed him to be._

_“Sure,” Murdoch nodded. “Can’t lose you two as volleyball opponents, can I?” He grinned half-heartedly. The fact was, the four of them hadn’t played in years. Things were too busy with their two teams and the kids. But at least Josh, Lucas, Grace and Caleb got to be together. It really was a shame Teyla and Sheppard had moved away and taken Torren with them._

_“Let’s pick that up again when we get home,” Evan said as Alex stirred in his arms._

_She pulled a face and blinked up at the ceiling. “Well fuck, still here.”_

_“Yes, still here,” Evan said. “Love you too.”_

_Murdoch rolled his eyes. “Caleb complained you’ve been too lovey-dovey, you know.”_

_“Sorry,” Alex said, rubbing her forehead. “Love you too, Oliver.”_

_“Now, that’s what I wanted to hear.”_

Caleb stared at the tablet in front of him, the index finger of his right hand hovering millimetres over the sensor. Had pens and paper still been in fashion, he’d have twirled it, maybe even drummed it on the table.

“What happens if I don’t sign?”

Evan only just kept himself from sighing. “You can go, none of this will ever have happened, I won’t offer you a position here, you’ll hate at your mother and me for the rest of your life, I expect.”

“I don’t hate you.”

A nod was the best Evan could manage. “I know,” he answered quietly. But what he also knew was that his words had stung the exact amount they needed to. Caleb pressed down his finger on the sensor, signing the Non-Disclosure Agreement.

He quickly folded his arms again and leaned back.

So, this was it. Evan swallowed hard, leaned over and turned on the recording device. This wasn’t going as he’d hoped it would. He and Alex were supposed to go to Chicago the day after next, sit him down and talk things over. This wasn’t supposed to happen under Cheyenne Mountain and certainly not with this recording device between them.

Caleb eyed the little cube sceptically and bit on his lip. “What job? I have a job, you know?”

“Yes, I do,” Evan cleared his throat. “That’s why you’re here.” God, how he wished Alex were here. But she was with Josh who needed just as much careful talking-to as Caleb did.

“What d’you mean?” Caleb asked, but before Evan could answer, he quickly added, “Like Mom? Adam told me you and Mom were on some kind of expedition in Afghanistan and were taken hostage? Why didn’t you ever tell me Mom actually went with you on a tour? That you were prisoners? Is that why Nora died?”

Evan’s hands were cold and he had to take a deep breath. That lie at least they could have told him. But Caleb never asked and not even Grace had talked about that particular episode to them about it, although she must have read it. Evan knew, he would have looked up every file on them, had he been in Grace’s shoes.

“No,” Evan said, after all grateful that Alex wasn’t here to see and hear the white-hot anger in their son’s features. He cleared his throat and frowned at his hands as Caleb stared at him. “No, that was something we had to tell your uncle and everybody else to keep the secret.” He licked his lips and looked up.

Angular features.

Blue, fiery eyes.

Blond hair.

The mouth pressed into a thin line.

Really, that boy was a perfect mix between him and Alex. In every respect.

Evan sighed. “Listen, let me start with your work, okay?” Caleb didn’t answer, but kept staring at him. Boy, this really wasn’t going to be easy. “Josh left it lying around at his parents’ house and when Oliver found it, he called me, since he knew what it was.”

“Oliver knew?!” Caleb blurted out. “How? That’s just an ancient artefact and-“

“It’s an ancient power source, Caleb.”

That shut him up.

His son stared at him, his eyes wide and the trace of an unsure smile making the corners of his mouth twitch. Like he didn’t want to believe it. But the gravity of the situation. The escort from the airport, the Non-Disclosure Agreement, the very fact they were sitting in a high-security Air Force Base, was making it hard for him to laugh this off.

“We call it a Zero Point Module and it was developed milennia ago by a race we call the Ancients.”

Caleb kept staring, unblinking, the knuckles of his fingers white from grasping his own arms. “You’re pulling my leg.”

“No, I’m not.”

“You gotta be.”

“I swear to you, I’m not.” Evan leaned back again. This chair was getting uncomfortable already, and he wished he could have this conversation in his office at least, but there was no way he’d take Caleb further down into this facility before his son didn’t understand the full impact of what he was telling him. He took a deep breath and started to explain. About Doctor Langford, about the Stargate. The missions to distant planets and galaxies.

And about Nora. About Atlantis. And Ba’al. About Caleb’s first years in Atlantis. It must have taken him at least an hour to set things straight, and when Evan’s voice finally stopped, he was surprised that Caleb hadn’t tried interrupting him again. But Caleb just stared at him. Open-mouthed. Evan half expected him to grab the tablet and the device and smash it on the ground.

Instead, Caleb lowered his gaze, staring at his hands instead. “I-“ he took a deep breath and shook his head. “I need some air… do- do we have to do this all right now?”

Evan swallowed hard. Ideally, yes, he wanted to say. And with anybody else, he might have insisted. But he couldn’t. The young man sitting opposite him looked so much like the little boy he’d held in his arms after a nearly- fatal accident on his bike.

The feeling was still there, buried deep in his chest. The aching pain and terror of the possibility of losing him. Caleb hadn’t just fallen off his bike. He’d hit a pothole and nearly done a somersault. The helmet had saved him, but just seeing his son fly through the air like he had, had nearly done it for him.

There were no tears now.

No way Evan could pretend nothing had happened like he had then.

He couldn’t take back those words. And he didn’t want to.

Caleb had wanted to know and now he did. Some of it anyway.

“Sure…”

“I’m gonna go home?” It was a question. And those blue eyes made Evan cringe. There was no disdain in them now, but something else and Evan wasn’t even sure if this was worse.

“I’ll see you then?” Another question.

Evan was relieved to see his son nod.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a talk with a friend the other day, and she made a remark about patterns we go through in fights with people we love. I guess this is one of those moments. This was fun to write. I hope you had fun reading it. Let me know what you think of their interaction! There’ll be more talk later on, but this has to do for now. Caleb is fed up with it all.


	16. Chapter 16

** Chapter 16 **

_2033_

Alex was in the briefing room, looking down at the Gate. She had her arms folded over her chest and was frowning down at the SG-team just returning. He couldn‘t see her face, but her posture spoke volumes. She was tense, and when she heard his steps and turned around to face him, he felt his heart sink.

“I take it Josh wasn‘t too thrilled either?“

Alex sighed audibly and shook her head. “No, but that‘s not it… he‘s still here. Talking to Anna on the phone. He‘s apparently looking forward to signing that contract despite everything.“

He had to admit, hearing this stung a little. When they got home, they‘d have to go through this again. Maybe taking the recording device with him into that room hadn‘t been the smartest move. It must have looked strange, if not downright intimidating to Caleb. But he‘d followed protocol and that was that. Evan couldn‘t exactly damn the prescribed procedure only months after taking this post. Especially not with his son.

“Grace got back about fifteen minutes ago. She said she‘d go straight home and talk to him,“ Alex said, following Evan into his office. She shivered slightly. She knew about the team trying to make contact with the Nox again.

“You saw Caleb, then?“

“Yeah, as he was on his way to the upper levels. He said you‘d organised him and his suitcase a ride home?“

Evan nodded, sitting down on the edge of the table. “How long are we giving them before we barge in as well?“

“Are you seriously going to offer him a job here as well?“

“Well, at least he has a say in this, unlike Grace.“ He squeezed the bridge of his nose, fighting against the headache that was setting in. He really had made a mess of this, hadn‘t he? “Or we could just get that time travelling Jumper from storage? Travel back twenty years and be honest with them from the get go? I’ll resign my commission and we write cheesy sci-fi novels together?” He found himself smiling at the memory. They’d joked about plans like this years and years ago..

“No way we’re doing that without O’Neill,” she said, finally smiling again. Slowly she moved forward and placed her hands on her hips. “He’s the genius writer here.”

“Fine… but just O’Neill.” He grinned, but he couldn’t keep that up for long. “How much of a head start should we give them? What d’you think?”

She let go of him and looked at her watch. “Another twenty minutes?” She didn’t sound too sure. Maybe twenty minutes really wasn’t enough.

“Fine,” he breathed and reached for the red phone still sitting in the centre of his desk. Somehow the old landline, a relic from a time long gone, still resided there. Not that Evan would want it moved. “Yeah, Wilson, I need you to find accommodation for Doctor Murdoch.”

Clear blue sky streaked with greyish-blue. The same colours were echoed in the tall towers underneath. Tall, sleek and majestic in its own way.

Caleb had always thought his dad had re-interpreted a skyline. Maybe New York, probably San Francisco.

His dad wasn’t creative like that, though. Hadn’t Caleb had a talk about creativity and the military with his mom a few metres from where he was standing now in front of that wall with all those pictures? Paintings his father had made. Photos. Pictures which told the story of Caleb’s life and he hadn’t known the truth behind them for most of his it.

“You could close the door, you know? Anyone can just walk in.”

Caleb swallowed hard at the sound of his sister’s voice. She was the one he couldn’t blame for any of this. Yes, he was angry she hadn’t told him, but he knew he didn’t have a right to that anger. Not with her. His parents though… that was a different matter.

“Which planet are you coming from?” he asked, feeling the words scratch his throat.

“Oh, come on.”

“No, I’m serious, Grace,” he hesitated for a moment, the words _the general_ hanging on his lips before he said: “Dad told me you were off-world.” The bitter laugh made him shiver and a sudden surge of self-loathing made his ears burn with shame and anger.

“Why are you so mad? They told you, didn’t they?”

Caleb took a deep breath and slowly turned around to face his sister. She was a bit smaller than him, about the size of his aunt Ellen, but the way her eyes were flashing, he got the sense that she could punch him there and then and there’d be nothing he could do to stop her from it. “Yeah,” he huffed, “because I found something their damn program needs.”

“I work there too, you know?”

“Doesn’t make it better, sis,” he grunted, turning back towards the painting again. Right next to it was that photo of his parents under a tree, surrounded by flowers. It must have been taken before Caleb came along. Was that place even on Earth? How much of his life was a lie?

No. Not a lie.

A matter of national security.

The thought alone made bile rise in his throat.

“They meant to tell you this weekend,” Grace said, walking up the steps and sitting down somewhere in the middle so she could see his face as he stared at the painting again. Definitely his father’s style… but now Caleb knew what it was. The famed city of Atlantis.

Atlantis…

That place simply couldn’t be real.

Well, it wasn’t. Most likely it wasn’t. Hadn’t it been destroyed?

_We can’t be sure,_ his father had said, _but we’re fairly certain we can’t go back. Those Furlings overran everything. In fact, we barely got out in time. I guess you and your mom were the last humans in the city._

The last humans left in the city. The words rang a bell, but Caleb couldn’t quite put his finger on it. “I can’t believe they took us into a war zone,” he said, finally pulling himself away from the painting and moving over to the kitchen. He’d make himself some tea. Maybe that would help him digesting the news.

“What d’you mean?” Grace said, following him and steering him to one of the bar stools. She carefully pushed him down on it and filled the kettle. He should be more grateful for his sister. He really should.

“Are you k There idding me? We both spent the first years of our lives in another galaxy!”

“Yeah. Plenty of children born there as well… not just me. There’s Josh and Lucas and Torren…”

That was right… Torren, the guy he’d played fetch with as a kid was an alien. Just like his mom… and this Teal’c character he’d met a few times. Heck, Jonas was an alien!

And Lucas knew… The thought gave him another pang.

Betrayal.

Again that feeling. And it made him feel even more miserable knowing that he had little right to that feeling when it came towards Lucas. There was something else, though. Something incredibly raw and tense that he didn’t even want to start exploring.

With a huff, Caleb leaned forward and buried his face in his hands.

“If anything, you’re the weird one,” Grace said. “You’re the only one of the Atlantis kids to be born on Earth… well, at least at the SGC, so that’s something.”

“What?” Caleb croaked, peeking at Grace through his fingers.

“Yeah, in one of the elevators, didn’t you know? Daniel delivered you?”

“Oh.” Caleb had to admit, he felt a bit woozy just thinking about that.

With a soft thud, Grace put the kettle on the stove and raised her eyebrows at them. “Are you okay?”

“Not really, no… Just found out that my life was a lie so-“

“Will you stop being so melodramatic? And are you taking that job?”

Caleb rolled his eyes. “Will you stop?”

“No, I’m serious. Josh was about to sign up when I left.”

His mouth was so dry, he doubted he’d be able to drink the tea she was preparing right now. Josh wasn’t angry? Josh was just going to sign off the rest of his work to that place? What the hell was wrong with everyone?”

Frowning Grace stood upright, her arms folded over her chest. “You’re such a jerk. Seriously? You have no idea wha-“

“To be honest, I-“ he broke off. He’d been about to say that he wished he had no idea. He wished he didn’t know what was going on. Well, and that was just wrong. He wanted to know. And he wanted to feel validated for being angry. “Mom wrote off her entire career for this, you realize that? She dropped her research, then her name to work for the A _ir Force_. For the _military!_ That’s just not- it’s not right, you know?”

Grace had grown pale. Her eyes were white as she stared at him. Without blinking, she turned off the flame and started walking off again. “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said quietly, her voice as low as their father’s had been. It was chilling to hear her speak like this. “And you’d better think things over! Mom and Dad went through hell, and you, jerk that you are, have no right to judge them like this!”

She pressed her lips together and took a deep breath. Caleb half expected her to storm out of the front door. She was hovering there on that spot, torn between walking and staying to fight some more, when a soft clinking behind Caleb made her blink. 

The familiar sound of dog tags and paws reached Caleb’s ear and he half-turned around to watch Winnie walk in, his head bowed low. His heart sank. The dog hated fighting, and their fight had drawn him in. He slouched through the door leading up from the garden and cowered beneath the kitchen table.

“You hated when dad took up that posting, didn’t you?” Caleb asked more quietly and at that, Grace’s shoulders sagged.

“Yeah… and it’s not easy, but he belongs there… in a weird way, he still does. Even after all this time. So does Mom…” she cleared her throat and looked down on the floor. “Be nice to them when they come back, okay? Or… at least be less of an ass.”

“Would you please stop calling me names, Grace?

“Sure. Once you’ve earned it.”

She picked up straight away. She usually did. And, as usual, Caleb was waiting for his heart to skip a beat. He was waiting for it so much, he almost felt it.

“Hey, are you home again?”

Caleb bit his lip and shook his head, although she couldn’t see it. “No, no I’m not. There was a bit of a family emergency, so I’m with my parents right now.” Understatement of the year. But hey.

His parents hadn’t come home yet. Grace was sulking in the living room with her holo projector. Well, alright, she wasn’t sulking, but working. Right now he was just glad he didn’t have to talk to her.

“Is everything alright?”

No, it really wasn’t, but how could he tell her that? Elinore Woodstock wasn’t a close friend after all. She might become something more at some point, though. Or could she? He wasn’t even remotely sure.

The realization hit him hard and seemingly out of the blue.

He bit his lip. “Yeah, everything’s okay… so I can’t make it tonight. I’m sorry.”

She didn’t answer straight away and in a way he was glad he hadn’t opted for the video chat. He rarely did that. Being able to pull a face every now and again was surely a luxury. “Oh,” she said. “Oh, okay… so, you’re gonna call me when you get back.”

“Sure… yeah…”

When he got back.

A tingling sensation at the back of his neck, made him feel uneasy.

He heard the car door slam in front of the house and Winnie, who’d been sitting at his feet, sprang up and ran back into the house. So much for companionship. “No, I will!” Caleb said, clearing his throat. He was staring at the patch of daisies. The flowers were really strange back here. He’d never seen daisies like this anywhere, least of all in full bloom in early October. “Talk to you then.” He hung up without waiting for an answer. Why the hell had he called her if he didn’t want to have an excuse to delay talking to his parents for a little longer?

Shifting uncomfortably, wondered if those flowers maybe weren’t even from Earth.

The concept alone was incredible. Unthinkable.

Swallowing hard, he clicked through the messages Josh had sent him. They didn’t include details. But they were short. Shorter than any message Caleb had ever gotten from him.

C _aleb!!_

That was the first one.

He heard the front door, heard the low voices of his parents.

_Seriously? You just left? Isn’t this amazing!?_

The second one.

Why was Josh so happy about this? What did that say about Caleb’s relationship to his parents, if Josh was so happy, he even forgot to write text messages the length of a regular 18th century letter?

“Caleb?”

No… no, their relationship wasn’t broken. He loved them. That’s why he was so confused. That much he knew. He slowly got up and patted off his jeans. It was getting cold outside anyway. He’d better get inside.

He looked down at his phone again.

_I’m in. You too?_

No, he really wasn’t. Swallowing hard, he climbed the stairs and found his mother standing at the counter in the kitchen, while Evan was on his knees in the foyer, rubbing Winnie’s ears.

“I just need some time,” Caleb said quietly, before Alex even had a chance to say something. To pressure him into this. They’d confiscated the artefact he’d found already anyway… and Josh would give up his research in Italy…. Though, come to think of it, maybe he wouldn’t. But Caleb wouldn’t be a part of it anymore, if he didn’t sign up as well. An artefact from the Ancients had turned up there.

“I get that,” Alex answered with a sigh. “Read a couple of mission reports at least? Please?” She was holding a tablet and held it close to her chest, until Evan cleared his throat. She laid it down on the counter.

“Listen, I’m sorry things happened so quickly. We wanted to do this right.”

“Yeah,” Caleb sighed, stepping forward and picking up the tablet. It was the least he could do. And, he had to admit, he was more than a bit curious about the details he didn’t know yet. “How long do I have to stay here?”

Evan grumbled quietly as he stood up and leaned in the doorway. “Are you seriously going to do this again?”

“I just need to know. I guess you just let me go home, because you knew I wouldn’t run off to the press-“

“You did sign a Non-Disclosure Agreement, you know that, right?”

Now, those words were considerably sharper and they made Caleb blush with shame. He cleared his throat. “So, how long do I have?”

“Take all the time you need. You just can’t take that tablet or the files on it to Chicago.”

Caleb nodded once. “Okay.” He looked at the thin screen in his hand. A tablet… not a holo device. These things were a lot more secure. “I’m gonna need to call my boss tomorrow morning. Let him know-“ What? That he wasn’t coming back to work? That didn’t seem likely. “I’ll be back late.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to admit, I haven’t been writing as much these past few days. I was absolutely caught up reading Labyrinth fanfiction and I’m thinking about writing one as well after the Loyalties series, or maybe even while writing it. I guess Labyrinth had a bit of an impact on these past few chapters? Caleb is such a brat.. 😉


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, there’s some smut in this chapter, just fyi 😉

_2034_

He leafed through the old-fashioned photo album in his lap.

For the hundredth time at least he looked at the pictures his mother had arranged in the thin volume. He looked at his parents, at Grace and himself as they stood in the ruins of the Roman Baths of Trier and wondered what the hell was wrong with him? Why the heck did looking at these pictures make him feel sullen and miserable?!

With a low grunt, he put his feet down, shut the book and placed it on his desk. His eyes were burning and he forced himself to look at his watch. Four in the morning.

“Happy New Year,” he grumbled to himself, reached for the bottle of beer, ready to take a sip, only to find it empty. Well, maybe he should head to bed after all. Taking out his phone, he looked through the twenty or so messages.

Elinore.

Josh.

Torren.

A drunken message from a colleague. That was it. Not too bad, really. Not for an evening spent in Colorado Springs with his parents.

He got up from the chair in which he’d studied for all the exams of his life, stretched and looked out of the window into the neighbour’s backyard. It hadn’t really changed since Caleb was last here, except for the empty chicken coop. Had there ever been chickens in there? He’d have to ask his parents in the morning.

He rubbed his eyes and took off the headphones, dropping them on the desk as well. The classical music could still be easily made out. He should really start listening to it less loudly probably. But he preferred working with music in the background, and he couldn’t exactly blast Beethoven in his parents’ house long after midnight on New Years’.

How pathetic was that?

He was at his parent’s house, not just for Christmas, but for New Years’ as well. Heck, his dad hadn’t even been home until ten.

Grace wasn’t there, apparently off-world with her team. Caleb wouldn’t know. Since the day he’d handed his mother back the tablet with the mission reports, they hadn’t really talked about it again. And Caleb hadn’t read all of those files. In fact, he only got through the first fifty or so, before he realized that if he kept reading, he’d sign up, no further questions asked. And he wasn’t ready for that yet.

And he hadn’t even gotten to those reports leading up to the fateful Atlantis expedition. Reading about the two of them was weird enough. He’d stopped reading once he realized that the file he’d just opened described the months they had spent trapped on a different planet. The months they pretended to be married… well, he couldn’t deal with that. Not right now anyway.

But starting to read it, even the revised edition which his father had included in the file, had somehow helped in abating the anger he’d felt.

How weird and strange would he have become, had he spent years of his life in secret? Well, at least his parents had each other. Caleb had always known his parents were madly in love. He’d felt grossed out about it more than once, but he surely wasn’t the only person who ever felt like that about his parents.

Grossed out and slightly embarrassed.

Even at the age of twenty-five.

Opening the door to the landing, he found Winnie lying on the rug in front of his room. “Hey fuzzball,” he whispered, allowing the dog to walk inside while he headed for the bathroom to brush his teeth.

He only wished he didn’t see the soft light streaming onto the hardwood floor from underneath his parents’ bedroom window, or heard the soft giggly grunt. He quickly turned around to fetch his headphones for brushing his teeth.

What was that thought about forgiveness versus being grossed out?

He couldn’t quite remember.

_“I always thought they were cute and furry,” Evan whispered into her ear as they stood in the control room, watching the new arrivals being greeted by Woolsey._

_“That’s because you read too much fiction, Colonel,” Alex said quietly, looking at him over her shoulder with a sheepish grin._

_Evan grunted._

_The Nox woman looked around, carefully, her whispy figure seemingly out of place in the city of the Ancients. This place was solid. Devoid of nature, whereas she looked like a wood spirit with her pale skin and blown-up hair adorned with thin, colourful twigs which made her seem even more other-worldly in her dress which looked like it had just grown from a tree. She smiled beautifully at Woolsey as she presented her companion._

_The other alien was tall, taller than Ronon probably, with almost glistening, light-blue skin. He was humanoid, but looked nothing like any humanoid creature they had ever encountered. He was hairless with long bare arms with clearly defined muscles. The sharp black eyes looked around curiously. He had pointed ears and a long, straight nose. His teeth glistened sharply as he looked up to the balcony where Alex and Evan were standing Alex had the strange idea of encountering a human shark.._

_“Sorry, I’m late,” Sheppard huffed as he rushed past the two of them, adjusting his jacket as he swept down the staircase to greet the newcomers and Evan gently touched her hip. The Nox and the Furling representative had come here early from the Nox homeworld Gaia, the only other Gate in the Milky Way galaxy capable of dialling here._

_“You’re drooling,” he whispered into her ear and Alex nodded._

_“Yep,” she breathed._

_“And you look like you just met Legolas the Elf...”_

_“Evan.”_

_His soft chuckle made her shiver slightly and she quickly stepped on his toes the moment Woolsey led their guests up the staircase and towards the conference room._

“So, has Caleb decided on anything yet?”

Grace huffed, half-wishing she was a smoker. Stretching out her legs, she looked up at the ceiling of the cavern in which they’d taken shelter from the wind and the rainstorm raging over what used to be Langara.

The planet, its nations reduced to rubble, was declared a neutral zone after the war, and it still was. The question was whether or not the mineral which was only found on this world, could still be salvaged and put to some use. The problem was, if they were found by one of the remaining Furling tribes, they could end up in big trouble. “Do you really want to talk about my brother, Quinn?”

With a frown, Lucas turned to look down into the valley where Kelowna’s capital city had once been. “You mean, don’t I want to talk about this place?” His father was born here. Jonas Quinn and a couple of others managed to get away when the Ori took over, the ones responsible for the destruction of this world. Years later the Tau’ri had found that one of the Ba’al clones had set another Gate on the planet to salvage what was left of the naquadria, but had quickly abandoned the planet again, when his territories were starting to fall apart. There was nobody left on this world and somehow this planet was one of the many worlds nobody wanted to live on anymore. Not even the Furlings.

Too many ghosts probably.

“Yeah, I mean-“

“Do you like going to Britain? Your mom’s from there, isn’t she?”

“That’s hardly a good comparison,” Grace smiled, leaning back and looking over her shoulder at Ferretti, fast asleep against the other wall. Miller was still down in the valley, taking a soil sample or something.

“No,” Lucas grinned. “So… your brother?”

“No, I don’t think he’ll be joining up. It’s been two months and he hasn’t mentioned it once.”

“Well,” Lucas said, folding his arms and turning to look out over the valley again. The Stargate was down there too, right next to the river amidst the rubble of buildings. This really wasn’t a nice place, least of all in the rain. The cave was high up, somewhere where there must once have been a sort of park surrounded by suburban homes. “I just don’t think that he wouldn’t want to see this. To explore the galaxy, you know?”

Biting her lip, Grace followed Lucas’ gaze. He wasn’t wrong. She knew deep in her core that this program would be just right for Caleb. He was curious, adventurous, seldomly scared of anything, and he would love discovering new things about this vast galaxy. And yet, at the same time, he would hate that he could never dive into one topic completely and devote all his time and energy to it. But still… being out here with one of the teams would be magnificent. It must be bothering him not to know what would happen to the ZPM he had discovered with Josh. Not that there was a whole lot happening with it. The drone chair was destroyed and using the power source to enhance one of their battle cruisers seemed like a waste. For now the Module was sitting in a lab in Area 51 to be studied.

“I just…” Lucas broke off. “I don’t see him much anymore, you know?”

“Hm.” There was something off in the way Lucas had said it. Like he didn’t want to make it appear like he cared too much.

Grace bit her lip, on the verge of saying something she should have said years ago. Was that apology still in order? Did it even matter now? Or was she wrongly interpreting that thoughtful gaze out into the rain?

She looked down at her watch. Back on Earth it was already way past midnight. “Well, Happy New Year, Quinn. What’s your resolution?”

He smiled into the rain just as the sound of boots crunching over gravel travelled up to them, announcing Miller’s return.

“None of your business, Lorne.”

“So, you don’t want to start on that PHD?”

“Oh, shut up, Quinn.”

_“Sh!” she breathed against his lips. The warm air hitting his skin made him pull her even closer. She smelled like beer and sweat and too many people, and he doubted he smelled any different. The way she’d leaned on him while they danced, the familiarity of her essence so close to him, was even more intoxicating than the party had been._

_“Why are you shushing me? The kids aren’t even here.”_

_Alex giggled. Such an unusual sound from here these days. A sound which made something deep inside him stir hungrily. He took her chin between thumb and index and raised her face to meet his._

_“Don’t ever shush me,” he whispered as she wrapped her wrapped around his neck to pull him in._

_“Make it redundant, then, Evan.”_

_There it was again. That pull. That gentle tug behind his navel and he couldn’t stop smiling. Their first New Year’s Eve had been excruciating. He always thought of that night. Every damn year. Of that skinny person she’d been, in her black dress with those enormous blue eyes, on the verge of flying so very far away from him._

_Twenty years._

_Three children._

_They had come so far, the two of them._

_He slowly bent over to kiss her. Another familiar gesture. Twenty years and every inch of her body, every sound she could make, were intimately known to him, and yet he wasn’t tired of her. If anything, he was more dependent on her than ever. She was part of him. Their children were a part of them._

_His heart leapt in a familiar pattern when she pulled him even closer and he felt the pressure of her breasts against his chest. Like he had back at that terrible party._

_It wasn’t just a New Years’ celebration. It was a send-off. Many people of their expedition were moving on. Moving on from that dream of going back to Pegasus. Moving on from friendships and passions. The most striking moment had been when Sheppard announced that he’d be a pilot for a regular old airline. Like that could be what he wanted to be… but really, what was, if it couldn’t be fighting the Wraith?_

_“You’re thinking too much,” she whispered drunkenly._

_“Sorry.”_

_She shook her head and took a step back from him, her hand brushing down his right arm. He tried holding on to her hand, but her fingers just slipped right through his. “Don’t apologize,” she said, her voice husky. She took another step back, nearly tripping over the rug, but she caught herself just in time on the banister._

_Somehow there was nothing funny in it._

_She was moving backwards now, a siren leading the way up the stairs and into their bedroom, but before he could start following her, she raised her hand, indicating for him to stop._

_Evan obeyed without her needing to say it out loud. Instead, he watched on, his throat tight, his mouth parched, as she first kicked off her shoes, then shrugged out of the white coat she was wearing over the dark blue dress. In this light it looked eerily like the one she’d worn back then._

_Without once breaking eye contact, she undid the zipper on the side of her dress and let it fall to the floor. He forced himself to look into her face and not stare at her naked body, at the beautiful stretch marks on her belly, or the incredible curve of her breasts, or that familiar triangle further below. He knew it all, and for now her eyes were all he needed to see._

_She slowly walked towards him again. She was just wearing that lacy thing of a bra now. Somehow every other part of undergarment had slid to the floor with her dress and as she stood before him, her lips brushing over his, he lost focus and let his hands move freely where his eyes hadn’t looked. Eyes closed, he kissed her back, revelling in the touch of her sure hands on his chest and on his belt._

_“So, not the bedroom?” he gasped, making her giggle again._

_“Later,” she said softly, taking hold of his belt. As she knelt before him, only one thought crossed his mind._

_This woman was incredible at making him forget._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No action in this chapter, but there will be some soon, I promise! Well, okay, there was a bit of smut in this one, but you know that’s not what I meant.  
> Anyway: thanks for reading and I sincerely apologize to fictional Caleb for putting him through this. I guess this wasn’t exactly the first time…


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's chapter 18, which starts concluding the exposition of this story. Really, I can't write short fanfiction anymore! Sorry! Enjoy!

** Chapter 18 **

_2034_

“I want to be dry again!” Ferretti sighed. “Preferably before my date.”

“Oh, by all means, why didn’t you tell us you had a date. We could’ve postponed this mission!” Miller threw Ferretti a venomous look as they trudged downhill towards the Gate again. 

Lucas looked down at Grace as they followed their superior officers down the slope that would take them towards the rubble and the city again. “Why was it scheduled for today anyway? New Year’s? We don’t go on missions on Christmas.”

“There’s a meeting of the Jaffa High Council with the remaining people of Langara next week, remember?” Miller looked over her shoulder at Lucas with a raised eyebrow.

Obviously Lucas hadn’t read the memo… or talked to his dad about this. With a low grunt, Miller looked ahead again and Grace elbowed Lucas in the side. “Why didn’t you know?” she whispered, making Lucas shrug.

“I never read these things before we go on missions… well, okay, maybe I skim them, but that’s about it.”

“Lucas!” she exclaimed in a barely contained whisper, her eyes wide. Out of all the things, she wouldn’t have believed it possible. “You’re not serious!”

“Look, usually we have a meeting before missions, right? So, I don’t need to read this whole thing. Usually.”

“Your dad’s going to be at that meeting, you know that, right? The survivors of Langara are going to meet and decide on whether or not to resettle this planet with the help of the Jaffa.”

Lucas snorted, adjusted his pack and bit his lip as the impact of her words hit him. “Fat chance… it would mean breaking the treaty. Even if the Furlings have been quiet lately.”

“Well, that’s why this is a big deal. That’s why the Jaffa Nation is involved and not us. At least not directly.”

“We’re scouting this planet, Grace, what the hell do you think this is called if not getting involved?”

With a soft sigh, Grace let herself fall back a bit more. “Fine, we’re involved, and we might have to get a bit more involved, but the Langarans - that is _your people-_ are thinking about re-entering the galactic stage. That’s a big deal.”

“I’ve never even met one of them,” he muttered. “Except my dad.”

Grace rolled her eyes. She wasn’t even sure if Lucas was angry or sad about this news. He was kind of hard to read sometimes. Or maybe she was just terrible at reading him. Both might be true.

His suitcase was packed, and the soft thumping in his head had been slightly muffled by the two pills of aspirin his mother had given him for breakfast. Not a too terrible start of the day, all in all.

His dad was sitting at the kitchen table, drinking coffee, skimming an article on the holo projector in front of him while his mom was outside with the dog. Caleb rarely got to spend some time alone with his father, mainly because he usually left the room very quickly these days whenever there was event he slightest chance of them being along.

“Dad?”

Evan’s eyes darted up immediately, as though he’d been waiting for him to speak. Slowly, he put down his newspaper. The raise of the eyebrows was all the encouragement Caleb needed speak no matter how much more the drumming of his heart made the pressure in his head increase.

“Dad?” he cleared his throat, reached for his tea and took a sip. Damn, that mug was still full. And the tea was piping hot.

“Yes, you said that already.”

Clearing his throat, Caleb set the mug down again and wrapped his hands around it, unsure how to proceed. Somehow it didn’t seem right. He wasn’t ready. Not that his parents had ever appeared all that old-fashioned, but how could he declare something when he wasn’t even remotely sure what was going on. He hadn’t spoken to Lucas in months.

So what then?

He bit his lip as his mind started racing. He’d started this. “Dad, what’s it like going through the Stargate?”

The creamy brown liquid in his mug didn’t capture his attention anymore. He slowly raised his eyes and returned his father’s gaze.

Intense. Quizzical. And maybe a bit relieved. Pondering for a moment, Evan brushed his index over his top lip and put the holoprojector aside. “Why do you ask?”

“Just wondering.”

The statement was met with a moment of silence. “It’s a bit weird,” he said. “When I first went through, I knew what was going to happen, but I didn’t really believe it would until I actually stepped through.” He paused, never breaking eye contact and the instant Caleb got the feeling that his father was intent on not speaking rashly, a sense of shame started creeping up his spine. What had he done?

“And what’s it like? Stepping through?” _Better to keep the conversation going._ As though _that_ would help making amends. They’d spent a whole ten days in Germany, pretending like their conversation of a few weeks prior hadn’t happened. They’d explored the town in which their parents had met, had sat in restaurants they had liked to visit. And now here they were. Months after. Finally talking again. Talking for real.

A soft smirk. Evan nodded. “You don’t feel a thing,” he said, “you just have to exhale before stepping through the thing. Makes re-emerging on the other side a bit easier, you know? Like getting out of a pool of water?”

“It’s like that?”

Evan shrugged. “A bit. It’s perfectly safe, just…weird, you know? At first you’re in a concrete bunker, the air is conditioned and at the perfect temperature and next second you can be anywhere. In the middle of a snow storm, or in a forest, or on a space ship.”

Nodding, Caleb looked down at his mug again. He couldn’t actually believe that either. But his parents had never been pranksters. Really, something like this would have been quite an elaborate and highly unamusing one. “It’s weird,” he said. “I don’t remember a thing... I should though, right?”

“You were three when we left… we only took you off-world a handful of times to visit Teyla’s people.”

“Yeah…” he took a bigger gulp of tea, nearly cooking his throat. But at least this one would take him a bit longer to get down. Maybe he should go and get some toast? Just to have something to do other than sit here and talk things over with his father. “Well… sometimes- last night I had this weird dream. I have it sometimes…Mom and me, we’re running from something and there’s a lot of glass and lights everywhere and- I was thinking. It’s not a memory, but still…”

“Your mom and you were on the other side of the city when the Furlings launched their attack.” Evan cradled his own mug and he looked down on the table now. “They appeared out of nowhere, disabled the shield with a virus and started the attack. It was worse than the siege when the Wraith attacked.” He swallowed hard. “There were too many ships, too advanced too and the crew of the _Daedalus_ barely got anyone out before the beaming systems were jammed. The Gate wasn’t blocked at first, so some people managed to get out through there, Ronon, an old friend, amongst them.”

“ _Daedalus?”_ Caleb prompted and Evan shrugged with a smile.

“Still one of our most valiant Battle Cruisers. We used to spend about 10 days on it ferrying from Earth to Atlantis and back again.”

“Huh…” He knew there was something more than just those few reports he’d read. More information he still didn’t have. “So…. A space ship?”

“A space ship,” Evan nodded. “A great one.” The smile still wasn’t gone.

“So, what happened then?”

“You and your mom were trapped, but I was in our apartment when it happened. Grace was sick and I was taking care of her when the attack began.” He took another deep breath. One sound that was enough to make Caleb want to get up and sit next to him. “I got the evacuation order, grabbed Grace and was on my way to the underwater bay when-“

“The what now?”

Evan pulled a face. He looked up and smiled softly. “How far did you get reading those reports?”

That same uncomfortable feeling that had started creeping up his spine a few minutes ago, was starting to make his ears grow hot. “About a quarter of your report of that time when you and mom got stuck on that planet?”

“Ah.” Clearing his throat, Evan looked up smiling. “Well, Atlantis had, or has, I don’t know, several ships that can fit through the Gate. We still have three functioning ones here on Earth. We call them Puddle Jumpers and one-“

“Why Puddle Jumpers? If they’re ships that go through the Stargate, why didn’t you call them Gateships?

Raising his hand, Evan shook his head. “Don’t go there,” he chuckled, “it was a whole thing, believe me. Sheppard decided on Puddle Jumpers, and Sheppard was the King of Naming-Things.”

“Huh… John Sheppard, right? I mean, I got that, but Sheppard in the military? Come on.”

“Yeah. He had a real knack for it. He and Doctor Weir did an incredible job getting us all together. Being on Atlantis was more than being here at the SGC. Like a colony? Almost like home even. More scientists than military personnel? It was fun most times.” His face grew dark. “And then it was over and we lost a couple of hundred people in the final fight.”

Caleb felt the chill in his father’s voice and folded his arms over his chest. “What happened next, then?”

“Your mom was stuck… you… you’d slipped away from her into a transporter, which took you to the North Pier and when the attack began she’d just found you. Like I said, the transporters went down and the only way for you to get away was from one of the loading ramps… I got to the Jumper Bay, but there wasn’t anyone else in that area of the city, so I was the only one who could get to the ships. By then the Furlings had already conquered the Gate Room. You two barely made it onboard.” He pressed his lips together and shrugged. “I cloaked the ship and we made it to the _Daedalus._ The self destruct didn’t go off… so…”

“So, it really isn’t destroyed? Why- why didn’t you go back there?” As soon as the words were out, he felt the weight of them still hanging on his lips. The urgency behind them made him feel slightly sick. That other sense made his heart heavy. Had they- meaning his father and mother- gone back there, he and Grace most likely would have grown up without them. Because, despite what he’d said to Grace before, he knew his parents would never have taken the two of them into danger like this. Not willingly.

“Well,” Evan said, “for one, the war with the Furlings was just starting. Things got crazy. And the International Oversight Advisory wasn’t too keen on fighting that war in another galaxy, when we could barely hold our ground here. I’m not even sure Alex and I would have gone this time. Besides, the IOA thought the risk was too high anyway, so the mission was scrapped about a year after we got back. That’s when Sheppard resigned.” He pulled a face. “Can’t really blame him… I thought about it myself.”

“Why didn’t you?”

Evan raised his eyebrows at Caleb and smiled softly. “I couldn’t. Probably just like you and your mom could never stop caring about ancient cultures. I’m good at what I’m doing. Even now. I hope… more or less.”

Caleb rubbed his neck and was quiet for a moment. “Why would you want me in the program anyway? I- I don’t know-“

“You’d be good at it.” The answer came so promptly, he got the sense that his dad had it prepared long before Caleb had even formulated the thought. “Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want you to go out there to get shot, that’s the last thing in the world I want. But… I think you’re missing out on something, just sitting in that office in Chicago, or digging through sites in Italy. You-“

“I don’t want to end my career.”

Evan nodded, his eyes never leaving Caleb’s for a moment. “Fair point. Can’t argue with that.”

Caleb slowly got to his feet and picked up his mug. “I’m going for a walk…so… thanks, Dad. And I’m-“ now it was his turn to take a deep breath. _Get over yourself already._ “I’m sorry.”

Another nod. “Have you talked to Josh about this, yet?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to dany2the_ela for encouraging me these past few weeks and for hinting at a very specific detail of dialogue! You're amazing! This chapter is for you!


	19. Chapter 19

** Chapter 19 **

_2034_

In the end he didn’t talk to Josh.

Or Lucas.

Or Grace.

Or even his mom.

He stood on the porch of the large white house, his hands deep in his pockets as his mind raced. Thoughts about running off again tumbling over thoughts about how important it was to talk. To talk to someone and have this over with without even giving pride the chance to keep him from making this lifechanging decision.

“Caleb?” The surprise in Jonas’s voice was unmistakeable.

“Yeah, hi, can I come in?” Caleb cleared his throat and shoved his hands even deeper into the pockets of his coat. The biting wind made his eyes tear up and by now he was wishing he hadn’t forgotten his hat.

“Sure,” Jonas stood to the side. “Lucas isn’t here.”

Caleb couldn’t remember ever having been here when Lucas wasn’t around. In fact, he hadn’t even spoken to Jonas since a few months before Cameron’s funeral. But, hey, things had changed since then, hadn’t they? By now Caleb knew that, not only had his sister been born on another planet, but a man he’d known all his life hadn’t even been a citizen of Earth until about twenty years ago. But somehow it seemed rude to point that out right now. “Yes, I came to talk to you if that’s okay?”

Jonas’s eyebrows rose up slightly and Caleb could see that the older man with the receding hairline and laugh lines on his face thought for a second about calling Caleb’s parents. Jonas and Alex were really close. They weren’t just work buddies, but friends even outside work. In his teens Caleb had sometimes wondered if there was more between the two of them. “Sure.”

The house was slightly bigger than the one of his parents, but with a less open floorplan. There wasn’t much of a foyer, but a long straight corridor decorated with dozens of family photos leading straight into the kitchen with a staircase up to the second floor. To their right was the large living room with the mismatched furniture Caleb remembered.

“Who is it?“ Amanda’s voice came from the kitchen.

“Hi, Amanda!” Caleb called towards the half-closed door through the dining area. Amanda Quinn was a nurse and, Caleb knew that now, had been on Atlantis as well. Really, it seemed like everyone he’d known all his life was somehow involved in this thing.

“Caleb?” She opened the door and the way she was cocking her head, made Caleb think of Lucas. Her son had inherited the dark complexion and the shape of her eyes. The lips though were all Jonas. “Yeah, hi,” he took a deep breath and shook his head. “Listen, do you have a couple of minutes, Jonas? My- my dad kind of offered me a job at the SGC.”

Jonas’s eyes widened for a moment as a realized what was going on here. “Why are you here then?” he asked, asking Caleb to sit down on the sofa with a wave of his hand.

“I’m gonna make some tea,” Amanda called again and Caleb closed his eyes.

“I-“ he hesitated. “I need to talk to someone about this. Someone who’s not in my family and who didn’t grow up with me and, to be fair, there aren’t a whole lot of people like that.”

The ghost of a smile flickered on Jonas’s face as he sat down opposite Caleb, the glass coffee table between them while Amanda put on the kettle a few metres away. “So, what d’you want to know?”

And here he was now. Caleb wanted to know so much, and Jonas had been open enough, but, truth be told, Caleb had mentally resigned his position at the University of Chicago already. Really, who could possibly turn up an opportunity like that. In a way he was glad he hadn’t given in to pride and followed his mother’s footsteps despite everything. His colleagues had been less than thrilled when they learned he’d be working for the Air Force from now on, but, in the end, he figured that didn’t matter as much. He had deeper roots in Colorado Springs than anywhere else. And from now on, aside from the fact that the work he was supposed to start doing now was far more exciting than anything he’d ever come across, he’d could be more honest with his family than ever before. And wasn’t that almost worth it?

Barely two days after having started his training with Captain Burris, he had already been assigned to a team temporarily and was sitting on the edge of a vast circular room on an alien planet. The idea was strange enough. To actually be here was ridiculous to say the least.

“Half the amount of our yearly yield is too much,” one of the representatives of Langara and Larsa said and Caleb threw a look at Lucas, who was sitting a few feet away from him with Grace. Their team leader, Madison Miller, was sitting at the oval table which had been hap-hazardously placed into the hall. All of the houses here on Larsa, as far as Caleb could tell, were square half-timbered structures, much like the ones you could find in open-air museums all over Europe. On their trip to Germany, his parents had dragged him and Grace to one of them, and he’d been amazed at the well-preserved structures, but something seemed off. The smell was missing. There had been too much light in them. Now, these buildings here, looked like they were still in use. And he didn’t even want to think about what his parents had done here to survive. Somehow it was easier to imagine his mother shooting a gun than toiling in the fields.

Well… the fact that these houses looked more authentic shouldn’t have come as a surprise, and he secretly scolded himself for the thought. The people of Larsa actually lived in these buildings, didn’t they? The contact with the people from other planets, namely Langara and Earth had brought some technological development, but all in all, this society was still one of farmers and miners. The thought alone…

“We are offering the protection of your world and manpower when needed.”

Cuthbert, the leader of this settlement, pulled a face. “As you know, our population has grown, and we don’t _have_ the manpower to establish a completely new settlement on Langara,” he threw a cautious look at Jonas who was sitting next to him, his hands folded on the table, “but we want to-“

“Yes, well,” the Jaffa representative, interrupted him, making Caleb’s insides churn. He wasn’t entirely sure how much he liked this guy. He went by the name of Harak, and the golden symbol on his forehead indicated that he had been First Prime to one of the Goa’uld which had reigned over a large part of the galaxy until roughly thirty years ago. Harak frowned at Cuthbert and even from several feet away Caleb got the sense that his words weren’t going to sit well with the other five people from the Larsan Council. “You want a mining outpost, we want some of the spoils in return for our assistance. Since the Tau’ri seem unfit to provide it, we see it is our duty to step in.”

Caleb squirmed uncomfortably in his seat. What an arrogant jerk!

“We had better take a short recess,” Teal’c said. Caleb had seen him occasionally before this, but to know that he wasn’t just an alien, but also the leader of an alien nation, had come as a massive surprise. Tall with short grey hair, he looked completely out of place in his long, grey robes. Maybe because Caleb had never seen him in anything but Earth clothes.

Earth clothes.

The concept alone was strange although he’d had plenty of time to adjust his thought patterns to it. It might take him a bit longer still. He really should bring it up in his next talk with Josh _. If we ever got off this rock._

He smiled to himself. _This rock._ At least he was starting to use sci-fi terminology in his _thoughts._

His throat grew tight and he sat bolt upright when Lucas patted Grace’s shoulder and slowly made his way towards him. Almost hesitant. Like he didn’t know what to expect from a talk with him.

“So, what do you think?”

Caleb looked towards the centre of the room, where Jonas, Miller, Ferretti and Hernandez, the leader of Caleb’s temporary team, were talking in low voices with Teal’c and Rya’c, Teal’c’s son. “I don’t know,” Caleb said, as Grace got up as well to head towards the exit of the vast, windowless room. “It’s all a bit much, you know?”

“You’re telling me. At least when you signed up, you didn’t learn that you’re half-alien.” Lucas’s smile was as dazzling as ever and, at least at this moment, Caleb was more than confident that he knew what this strange pulling sensation deep in his stomach was.

He wiped his hands on his pants and forced a smile. “No, you’re right.” What was this even? Yes, he’d known Lucas all his life. Yes, Lucas was terribly attractive, but what else was there? 

“So, your thoughts on this meeting?”

“I don’t know…” Caleb said hesitantly. There hadn’t been anyone else sitting near him or the other team members. It was like the people from Earth were a bit of an oddity around here. “Is it normal that the Jaffa are so… I don’t know.” The fact was, he couldn’t find a polite word to describe the pompousness of the Jaffa representative.

“You mean Harak? Yeah, he’s an ass,” he lowered his voice and leaned in a bit. Not that they could be overheard by anyone, but he seemed to want to make sure. “He was First Prime of Apophis and we all thought he died in the battle over Antarctica.”

“So…”

“So he must have gotten off Anubis’s mothership before it was blown to bits, and when the Jaffa Nation rose to real power, he quickly rose in their ranks. I guess he has a kind of commanding authority?”

Caleb scoffed. “More like an ass authority.” He quickly bit his lip, but Lucas just laughed.

“This is your first time off-world, right?”

“Yeah,” Caleb said with a short nod. “Should’ve listened to my dad and exhaled before stepping through.”

With a soft chuckle, Lucas got to his feet. “I didn’t listen to that advice first time around either. Had a hiccup for the first couple of hours.” He grinned down at Caleb. “Wanna take a look around?”

The town hall was located in the middle of a village on the south side of a vast valley, roughly three kilometres from the Stargate. The village itself was surrounded by a forest, which crept up from the centre of the valley and up the slopes of the mountains encircling the it. As far as Caleb knew, the villagers, both Larsans and Langarans, mined naquadah besides farming, trading with various other worlds, including Earth. It wasn’t exactly a rich community, but it had seemingly thrived with the help of the Langarans and Earth. Yes, it was still a rural community, with chickens running everywhere and in which nearly every household owned at least one cow, but there were signs of a more modern civilization as well. There were several naquadah generators stored in one of the buildings on the outskirts, providing electricity for the village. There even appeared to be some sort of intricate plumbing system in place, at least from what he could gather from the water fountains on either side of the entrance leading into the town hall.

It wasn’t a terrible place, was it? Almost like a cross between a medieval and a post-industrialist society. It was weird, but weird was probably something he had to get used to. He looked around at the road leading down into the centre of the valley, but that road was mostly overgrown by now.

And there it was.

That itch to follow that path. To find out what had happened to make these people want to forget about the place it was leading towards. The fact that he only had to ask these people was a bit strange, but he would have loved to go exploring anyway.

No, this had probably been the right decision.

“Hey!” Grace called to him. She was standing somewhat to the side, talking to Cuthbert. Jonas was standing next to them as well and Caleb could feel Lucas shift uncomfortably.

“You don’t like being off-world with your old man either, do you?”

“No… parents at work suck.”

Caleb scoffed. To be fair, he’d known what he was getting himself into, and outside of that one time, the one where he’d signed his contract, he hadn’t seen his father at the SGC yet. But things would quickly change when they had to attend the debriefing of this mission the next day. Well, that would be weird. Not only because his sister would be there, but his dad and the guy who had talked him into joining the SGC as well.

Jonas grinned widely at them when he and Lucas approached. “Hey, you two,” he said just as Lucas’ arm brushed Caleb’s.

Caleb quickly shoved his hands into his pockets, pretending he hadn’t felt the sudden jolt at the touch. He only wished this was more confusing than it was. At least he’d be dead certain then.

“You’re Evan’s son, are you not?” Cuthbert asked, the smile reaching his light blue eyes. The question took Caleb somewhat by surprise. He rarely met someone who called his father by his first name like this. Most people called him by his rank or last name.

“Yeah?” Caleb said hesitantly, throwing a glance at Grace.

Cuthbert nodded once. “Come on, I would like to show you and your sister something.”

Jonas smiled slightly, then looked over his shoulder at a group of people around his own age standing in a huddle on the other side of the town square. “Lucas?”

With a heavy sigh, Lucas nodded, clapped Caleb on the shoulder and moved with his father towards the group, where Jonas’ people must be waiting for them. Caleb’s gaze followed them, lingering on the broad shoulders of his friend, and only just managing to pull himself away, when Grace elbowed him in the side.

With a shrug, he smiled down at her and nodded at Cuthbert. Wasn’t he supposed to be preoccupied with the negotiations right now? “Their home has been abandoned ever since they left, but I thought you’d like to see?”

Caleb almost stumbled over his feet. “Their… what?”

Grace had gone pale at the word and she reached for his arm. As he looked down at her he saw that she was just as shocked as he was. Yes, they both knew what had happened here, even Caleb had read the full report by now, but somehow he hadn’t thought he’d be confronted with it all.

“Well…” Cuthbert said quietly, rubbing the back of his head and shrugging, “after what happened when Ba’al reclaimed this world, nobody wanted to live in their house, so it looks abandoned and the roof is not what it once was, but I thought you would like to see?”

She wasn’t watching the television. She hadn’t been since they sat down. She hadn’t eaten much either and all the while Evan pretended he didn’t notice.

Caleb had been, almost ironically, been assigned to SG-11 temporarily and was now on Larsa. With Jonas and SG-8 and Teal’c. There would be negotiations which would last at least until the day after next and then there would be even more talks. Caleb had been sent along to learn. Not just in training around the facility but on the job as well. On a simple and relatively safe mission such as this one, this was standard by now.

But Alex was still worried. Evan could see it. She got up, bent low over Winnie and kissed his head, her book still in her hand. It was an ancient, dog-eared copy of _Little Women._ She’d read it for the first time when Caleb had to read it in school, very late for her standards, and she’d devoured it before Caleb, giving their son incentive to pull through three days later.

“Are you going up?”

“Yes, I can’t concentrate anyway.”

He nodded. When he got home from work, Alex was usually already home. The same had held true for today, but she’d been so on edge that they had gone for a run. That had been four hours ago, and she clearly wasn’t relaxed yet. “D’you wanna talk about it?”

Her eyes flickered to his. They had made a promise at the beginning of their marriage to talk, instead of swallowing whatever was bothering them. She bit her lip and let herself fall down on the couch again. Winnie put his head on her lap. As usual the dog was seated right between them.

Evan reached out to her and brushed his fingertips over her neck. Her skin was soft and warm. “He’ll be fine.”

She nodded. Statistically speaking, it was more than likely that Caleb would come back unharmed. That Grace would be back okay. “I know,” she breathed, closing her eyes and leaning into his touch. “But…”

“Yeah… about that but,” he said, all humour gone from his voice. Unceremoniously he picked up the dog, who protested with a deep-throated grunt as Evan placed him on his right so he could move closer to Alex. Immediately, she wrapped her arms around him, her head against his chest. Once, she’d told him that she liked listening to his heart beating. That it made her feel safer than anything ever could. He knew there was even more to it. That damn heart of his was only beating because she was in his life. It was almost like she was making sure he was still there.

Carefully, he pulled her even closer with his left arm and kissed the top of her head. The TV rumbled on in front of them. It was just a silly period thing with a predictable plot set in a Canadian mining town. Usually that sort of thing was a good distraction. Not today.

“When Grace went off-world for the first time you were worried just like this,” he said quietly and she nodded. He could feel the movement against his chest.

“Yes, but now they’re both out there… and I wish I didn’t hate it.”

He was almost expecting an accusation hidden behind those words, but he couldn’t make out the tone of voice that would suggest it. Her voice remained level. But he also knew that if something were to happen, that accusation would surely come. Not only aimed at him, but also at herself. For telling them. For allowing them to find out. For not making Grace chose a different career path.

“He’s not even fully trained.”

“No, but everyone else on this mission is… and, to be fair, I’d rather have him off-world than near a warzone her on Earth digging up ancient tombs.”

Alex sighed exasperatedly, her breath going through the thick fabric of his shirt. ”That’s not a great comfort, you know?”

“Yes, I do.”

“Should we have gone?” The words hung in the air for a moment. “It being Larsa and all…”

“Right. And ruin all those years of holding back and finally embarrassing our kids. Sure.” The obvious didn’t need to be said. That they’d sworn not to let what had happened with Nora influence how they raised their children. That Caleb and Grace would have stopped talking to them if they did. That this wasn’t about them as a family, but about the Langaran and Larsan people.

He gently brushed his hand through her hair and kissed the top of her head.

“Maybe we can go back some other time…”

“Hm,” he grumbled. “Let’s go to bed, huh? They’ll be back before you know it.” But the knot in the pit of his stomach was still there. It was no use pretending he didn’t care about this. He did. And he was just as terrified as she was. But if there was one thing he’d learned the hard way it was that you couldn’t protect your children. Not always. Even if you wanted to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! Work was super intense last week and this chapter wasn’t easy to write. I really had to edit quite a bit. I hope you still like it!


	20. Chapter 20

** Chapter 20 **

_2034_

“It’s a bit like a theme park, huh?” Grace was saying. She was speaking in a whisper, but her voice still filled the empty room, hitting the bare walls.

Caleb was standing in the centre of the room. A streak of light illuminated the bed which was pushed against the wall, revealing an intricate net of rotten ropes on which the former mattress must have lain. “Just a whole lot more bleak,” he answered just as quietly, his eyes travelling along the soot-stained walls and coming to rest at a semi completed crib, the wood of which was stained and partly destroyed by the exposure to the elements. The door to the stable was hanging on one hinge only, revealing a partial view of a fallen roof and a rusty pitchfork.

This place didn’t do much to lift his spirits.

“Can you even imagine this?” Grace asked incredulously, pushing at the door Caleb had been eying and breaking it off in the process. She let go of the wooden doorknob and stared at it as it lay on the dusty floor.

“Not really, no,” Caleb said, stepping over to the hearth where a cast iron pot still hung from a metal hook. This really was unusual. Resources were never wasted in communities like these. Usually they were repurposed. But this place looked abandoned and forgotten. Like the people who had once lived here had taken off and forgotten to return.

He looked down at the broken crib and felt his stomach turn as thought of how handy his dad was at building things. Had he made this? Had he made that bed? The rickety table standing in the centre of the room?

Shaking his head slowly, he reached for the pot. It was heavier than he would have expected. He looked inside carefully, not at all surprised to find an abandoned bird’s nest inside. “I mean… Mom and Dad…” He turned it upside-down to get rid of most of the dirt. Somehow he’d smuggle this thing back to them. Seven months meant they must have cooked every single meal in this thing… and to think that in their home they had about a dozen pots and pans. His dad must have gone insane with just one pot. If it had been indeed him who did the cooking. With a broken leg, that wasn’t at all likely.

“I read the report, but… yeah, I get it.”

She put her hand on the weathered old table. “Seven months is more than just a failed uprising, huh?”

Grace wasn’t at all wrong. Seven months meant adjusting to a new situation. It meant living in a community, helping neighbours, receiving help. It meant work and struggle for survival. In their case it had also meant pain and a pregnancy.

She nodded. “Remember my doll?”

Caleb raised an eyebrow and leaned against the windowsill and ignoring the soft creaking sound it made when his weight rested on it. “Which one? You had about two dozen Barbies.”

Rolling her eyes, Grace crossed her arms. “No, I meant that wooden doll I had. The one Lucas nearly burnt on your birthday?”

The name made him twitch, but the memory wasn’t all bad. He remembered that day. It was the first time he had ever been sloshed, and Josh had been the one to smuggle the beer into their home. Neither one of their parents had noticed, and when they found the bottles strewn around the bonfire, there’d been hell to pay. That doll really had very nearly perished that night, but Torren had saved it for Grace with one of his most charming smiles.

“How did we get our hands on that thing anyway?”

Grace blushed and waved it off. “Never mind.” She tapped the table again. “Anyway, when I joined up, dad told me he made it. He made it here and took it home when they returned that one time.” Biting her lip, she took a step back to approach the bed again. “For Nora, but still…”

Swallowing hard, Caleb looked up at the ceiling again. At the shingled roof and the cobwebs occupying a stretch between wooden support beam and wall. This place didn’t just smell of dust and mice though. It smelled of hot wood and manure from somewhere nearby. Strangely enough, it had a homely feeling to it. Even now that this house had been abandoned for decades. But maybe he was just being sentimental.

Cuthbert had left them in here about half an hour ago, promising to get them when he was done talking with Jonas. And Caleb had no idea how he felt about being here. He was a historian, so this whole place should be fascinating to him. What he felt instead was less excitement and more of a sense of trepidation. Of having underestimated his parents all his life.

It was one thing to know that your mother was an accomplished archaeologist and expert at several long-dead languages. That your father was a soldier. The kind of person who knew how to kill and how to save a life. How to fly fighter planes and train pilots. How to lead men and women into battle.

It was another thing to discover that your parents had been to other planets and had performed all those tasks there as well. That they had both fought some aliens and forged alliances with others. To know that your sister was born in another galaxy and that you yourself had spent the first few years of your life in that very same galaxy.

It was a completely different thing to see remains of that life. To be in this place where his parents had found each other after years of separation. Where they’d survived against all odds.

No. The historian in him could never compete with the son he was first and foremost.

“Dad was always quite handy at that sort of thing,” he whispered, eyes trained on the broken crib again. “I remember when I was in my cowboy phase, he made me a whole herd of horses.”

“He made a ship for me.”

Caleb whirled around to see Cuthbert standing in the doorway. That man certainly knew how to walk quietly, Caleb thought, and then the words sank in. This man had known his parents long before Caleb and Grace had been there. Their father had made toys for him.

“How old were you?” Grace asked, her head cocked to the side. “

“I do not know,” Cuthbert answered with a shrug. “Little. He, your mother and my parents were friends. I remember the two of them weren’t used to working in the fields. When they were first here, I saw your mother crying over a tub of soapy water, because she could not get the clothes clean… my mother showed her how to do it. It looked strange to me then.”

Caleb nodded, his mouth dry. Somehow Cuthbert’s words didn’t sound demeaning, and his expression was so sincere Caleb felt the urge to sit on that creaky old stool. How desperate she must have been.

“When they returned a few years after they were taken, I hated them for still being alive. All of our parents had been killed. Only a few of us remained and we had to fend for ourselves until the Tau’ri returned and later on introduced us to the Langarans. We’re one people now.”

“How many of you are there?” Caleb asked as Grace stepped closer to the doorframe to peek inside the barn.

“By now? About three hundred or so? A few of those who managed to flee came back over the years and a coalition with the Lucian Republic brought in a few more settlers, but this planet is barren of any natural resources that do not come from farming.”

“So you really don’t have the manpower to start a mining operation,” Caleb said and Cuthbert nodded. Manpower notwithstanding, these people had next to no means of defending themselves against any enemy that might attack the outpost they were planning.

“But we could use naquadah and maybe even the naquadria for trading with other worlds. There really is nothing left for us to get from the mines.

Caleb looked at the other man, unsure of what to say. Should he thank him for showing them this house? Should he comment on that insane endeavour of starting up a new settlement with little to no manpower to spare and basically under the rule of another nation?

“The Jaffa aren’t going to give you a good deal, you know?” Grace said, surveying the doorframe and brushing over the side of it before turning back to Cuthbert.

“I am aware, yes.” Cuthbert said, frowning at her. “And my people aren’t thrilled about their involvement either.”

No big surprise there. After all, the Jaffa had killed and tortured for the System Lords, hadn’t they? Even decades after the end of the Goa’uld regime, it was hardly surprising that most people were still suspicious of the Jaffa as a people. Especially with guys like Harak in charge. But what choice did these people here have? Not only had the SGC been downsized over the years, but their movements across the galaxy were limited because of that treaty with the Furlings. “I hope things turn out okay for you,” Caleb said, wishing there was more for him to say than that useless sentiment.

Cuthbert eyed him for a moment, then he nodded in appreciation. “The session is going to resume. We should head back.”

Before they left, Caleb took another look around the small room, his eyes lingering on the crib, wondering if that pang of jealousy he felt whenever he thought of that sister he’d never known would ever fade.

Grace nudged his side on her way to the door. “Are you seriously going to take that pot along?” Her eyes trailed down to the heavy object in his hand. The thin metal handle was already cutting into his hand, but his pack was just outside and it would easily fit inside.

“You mean the artefact?” he laughed. “Hell yes.”

Her hand on his shoulder pushed him outside so they were standing outside and opposite the house in which Cuthbert and his family lived. The owner was already farther down the road and almost at the village square. It was high time they got there as well. But as he knelt to pack up the pot, Caleb couldn’t quite keep himself from peeking into the barn. At the balls of hay stacked neatly in one corner and the locked-up chicken coop in the other. Had their parents really lived like this once?

The pot weighed heavy in his pack.

_The cart had three wheels. Two at the back, one at the front for support._

_Alex watched on as Evan pulled it into Oswald’s barn. Their neighbours had done so much for them in the past few months and now that Oswald was sick, Evan had taken over getting the hay into storage for winter._

_She stroked her swollen belly and smiled to herself when Evan wiped the sweat off his brow and turned to look at her as she was leaning against the wooden wall, inspecting the muscles of his arms, clearly defined under the linen shirt sleeves. He had to be the most attractive man she’d ever seen. Top that with his kindness, his dedication and his urge to create where there was nothing but raw material, and she was lost._

_“What?” he asked grinning, helping little Cuthbert of the cart. The boy mimicked him by wiping his own brow and accepted the canteen with water with a wide grin._

_Alex gently shook her head, her eyes trained on the single silvery hair glinting in the sunlight. It showed up every now and again, but it was the only one. Cuthbert handed the canteen back to Evan and ran straight for the door leading into the main house and to his parents._

_“Well, I've never seen a vehicle like this one,” she said absentmindedly, her hand waving in the general direction of the cart._

_Evan caught her hand easily enough and pulled her towards him until her belly was pressed tight against his. She couldn’t feel the child moving yet, but it was there. And at this particular moment, she wasn’t terrified at the realisation. If they were really, truly stuck here, they could still be okay. She could be with him and all their conflicts back on Earth could remain right there. And she willingly drank up this illusion. Just for a moment she allowed herself to be swept up by it. Because winter would come sooner rather than later. Their lives would be in danger as soon as their new-found people displeased Ba’al or enraged the Jaffa._

_But just for now, she let herself believe that he was her husband. That all they had to worry about was whether or not that sourdough bread she’d put on would be edible._

_“That’s funny,” he said, his eyes never leaving hers, “you’re not looking at the vehicle.”_

_Alex grinned and lifted her hand to wipe at a smudge on his cheek. “I have excellent peripheral vision.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, it’s been a while… this week, let me tell you, wasn’t fun at all. There was a friendship emergency and that threw me off my rocker for a couple of days.
> 
> Anyway, I can’t get over Larsa. Those seven months still haunt me, and I promised myself I’d be done writing about them! Well, I guess I’m a much bigger fool than I thought I was.
> 
> This last scene was prompted by @dani2the_ela and was inspired by a scene in “When Calls the Heart”. Hope you liked it!


	21. Chapter 21

_2034_

The monthly budget report must be one of his least favourite jobs. It wasn’t that he hated numbers, but watching the funds reserved for the program shrink every thirty days or so was unnerving to say the least.

It didn’t happen all at once, or in big chunks, but the message he’d received the previous week about not getting to hire any more civilian personnel had been just as clear as the budget cuts for the science department.

Evan rubbed his eyes, twirling the pencil between his fingers just to get some relief from the tension. Not long now and they might ask Alex and Jackson to retire from teaching at the Academy and keep just that one newer teacher of Ancient. Downsizing was key apparently. And he hated seeing what was happening here. Had they put him in charge of the SGC because of his supposedly spotless record? Because they thought he’d sit back and let it happen like the good soldier he was? Probably… and he dreaded the decision he might have to make in the near future if he wanted to be able to look at himself in the mirror.

“Jack looked like that more often than not when he sat in there.”

He’d known she’d be coming and when he looked up, he shook his head even though he’d known she’d be here. “Come in, Sam,” he said, getting up. No protocol required him to do so. There were few people in the world he respected as much as Colonel Carter. And, by all means, she should have been the one sitting in this seat. But this, his posting here, was just another game of politics and they both knew it.

With her hair completely grey she’d gained even more authority, even though her face had become rounder and softer with age. She was still as athletic as ever though. Really, Evan was sure that this woman would never lose that air of authority and control.

“Thanks,” she said, ditching formalities at the same time he did. They’d been colleagues for over thirty years now, but it wasn’t just that. She sat down opposite him and eyed the opposite side of the hologram displaying the budget. “How bad is it?”

Evan let out a huff. “I gotta say, I wish Jack was still in Washington.” O’Neill had made miracles happen back in the day, but he’d retired years and years ago. Shortly after the peace treaty had taken effect, he had bid farewell to the Air Force.

With a chuckle, Carter crossed her legs. “He’s quite happy to be out of this hassle, believe me.”

Evan nodded. The man was over eighty. “Sure. How’s he doing?”

“Okay. The knee is acting up again, but apart from that, he’s keeping busy.” They’d moved to O’Neill’s cabin in Minnesota and whenever Carter wasn’t in Washington or onboard the _Hammond_ , that was exactly where she was.

“Fishing?”

“Mostly. I have to restock that pond of his every few months.”

Evan managed a smile. It was one of the many things O’Neill liked to talk about.

“How’s Caleb fitting in here?”

Evan let out a long huff, switched off the hologram and placed the keyboard on the side of the desk. “He was on a trial run on SG-11, went along to trading negotiations on Larsa and Hernandez wanted him, so…”

“So, he’s fully joined up?” Carter smiled at him, as though she knew he must be proud. And it wasn’t as though pride wasn’t one of the feelings Evan associated with the current situation, but this situation was far too complex for him to be just a proud dad, wasn’t it?

A month ago Caleb had become a full member of SG-11, badge and all, and right now he was on a mission with his team. They had gone to P3X-403, the planet where a tribe of Unas was still mining naquadah for Earth in exchange for supplies and some of the Lucian currency the Tau’ri obtained through various trade deals with other worlds. The Unas had come across a couple of cave paintings, in one of the newer mines they had opened up, and Caleb and his team had ventured there to study them. It was Caleb’s first real assignment where he got to do the job he’d trained for most of his life, just on a different planet. With any luck he and Josh would venture to Italy again with a team from the SGC to focus on the excavation they’d started the previous year.

With a shrug, Evan leaned back. “He’s still adjusting. And Grace doesn’t talk to me here when it’s not necessary. Could be worse.”

“I can’t imagine anything worse than my dad being my CO,” Carter smiled and Evan didn’t find it too hard to return that smile. “But in the end working with him was a good thing. For the both of us.”

“Yeah, I’m not even close to joining the Tok’ra,” Evan said and scratched his neck. Carter wasn’t here for smalltalk. “Talking of which…”

Unceremoniously Carter reached into her pocket and got out one of the small clear storage crystals. “They really didn’t want to send this through the Gate in case it was intercepted.”

The crystal felt cool against his skin and for a moment Evan hesitated as he weighed it in his palm. He looked up when Carter got out of her chair to close both doors. “Should I be worried?”

“Well,” Carter said, “depends. The Tok’ra scanned a planet that’s part of the neutral zone. They couldn’t pick up any energy signals coming from the Furling satellites orbiting the planet.”

“Could be nothing.” The words were out, but there was that sensation deep in his gut that he couldn’t ignore. And the way Carter was looking at him, he got the sense that she had a very similar gut feeling.

“Could be nothing,” she agreed. “All the readings are on that crystal. Have one of your scientists run the data again if you want. It’s three of them, each spaced three months apart. None of the four satellites was emanating energy signals.”

“I trust your judgement,” he said, clasping the crystal in his hand. This could be it. The first hint at something more to come. The first hint that this war might start up again. And they had never been worse prepared for something like this. He cleared his throat, pushing away the thought of his children and how they would both be involved if the war did in fact resume. And if that wasn’t terrifying, what was? “Thanks for this.”

“Sure. Are we still on for dinner?”

Evan blinked, non-plussed at the sudden change of topic. When had that been arranged? But before he could say anything, he saw her finger tapping rapidly on the armrest of her chair. “Sure,” he said, carefully and she got up.

“I’ll see you at seven. I’ll bring the wine.”

“Apollo _will be here in a few minutes,” Carter said, her face contorted with pain._

_“Yeah, we gotta go!” Mitchell urged behind him._

_Evan nodded. Carter would be okay. And yet he still hesitated. They had come this far und up to this point had remained undetected, having disabled the shields of the entire fleet with the clever virus McKay had come up with. He reached into his vest pocket and pulled out another magazine for Carter’s 9mm. “Just in case,” he said and placed the magazine in her open hand. She’d fired her own a couple of times and he doubted she’d be quick enough to point her P-90 at a moving target just now. The blast had hit her straight in the chest and the smell of burnt flesh was still burning in his nostrils._

_She nodded appreciatively. “Go. I’ll be okay.”_

_God, he hoped she wasn’t wrong._

_Nodding again, he got to his feet. The bridge wasn’t far, but in all likelihood the Furling soldiers there had been alerted to the presence of intruders on this ship. A shootout rarely remained undetected. But this was the only way. The only way to distract them from finding out about the virus._

_They would have to stage an assassination attempt._

_Mitchell grinned slightly and they moved forward, along the long, dark corridor, towards the bridge up ahead. Leaving Carter behind._

“Sam, I’m really sorry, this position here should have been yours.”

“You know,” she said with the trace of a smile, “I tell people I never wanted the job. It’s not even a complete lie. I don’t think I’ve ever envied anyone less than you or Cameron these past few years.”

They were sitting in the living room, the bottle of wine Carter had brought was sitting on the coffee table in front of them. “Why? You were in charge of the SGC before? I’m not even gonna mention your year in Atlantis.”

Carter shrugged and raised her head when Alex joined them. She was carrying a bowl of early Californian strawberries and placed them in the centre of the table. “D’you want me to leave?” she asked, but Carter shook her head.

“No, I guess you should know, too.”

“Right,” Alex huffed and took a seat in the comfortable chair next to Evan. She picked up her own glass and took a sip. Dinner had been pleasant enough, but the sudden tension brought forward by Carter’s ominous warning. “Know what exactly?”

_The corridors looked an awful lot like the ones the Ancients had built millennia ago inside their Aurora class warships. The walls had the same smooth and gleaming surface, the style of the lamps was far too similar to be accidental and the overall sounds surrounding them were more than familiar._

_But this ship was newer._

_The corridors were darker._

_The ones who had built this ship were hell-bent on dominating the major part of the galaxy._

_And if the Nox hadn’t introduced them to these people living in a neighbouring galaxy, the Furlings would never have ventured here, conquering and slaughtering as they went._

_There were footsteps up ahead. Simultaneously Evan and Mitchell slipped into a nook in the wall, their guns pressed to their chests. It would still take the_ Apollo _some time to get here._

_Evan caught Mitchell’s gaze and the determined nod, made him grip his weapon tighter. They were done hiding. For good. And they’d taken out about eight guards already. Now it was time to raise some hell, to distract the enemy long enough until reinforcements could get here._

_In all his life he wouldn’t have thought that he’d be in a situation like this more than once. But there it was. Only this time his failure wouldn’t be immediately followed by the conquest of Earth. By the death of his wife and children. They were still thousands of lightyears away from Earth. Others might be able to pull this off at some point. The Jaffa were still out there. The Tau’ri had joined up with them and the Tok’ra once more to fight this new threat._

_Yes, Pegasus was lost. So were dozens of other worlds._

_But that didn’t mean they’d have to lose the entire galaxy._

_And they sure as hell weren’t going to lose Earth._

_Not if he had anything to say about it._

_Mitchell’s mouth twitched into a half smile and Evan said a quick goodbye to Alex, Caleb and Grace. They were home. They’d be safe. And Evan couldn’t waste another second thinking about them._

_Their images locked in the far corner of his mind, Evan let years of preparation and experience take over as he and Mitchell opened fire on the enemy._

_His reflexes saved him. His training pushed him forward, making every bullet count as he and Mitchell mowed down the enemies who fell to the ground without too much fuss. They were dead before they hit the floor._

_The adrenaline kept his heart beating fast and steady at the same time as he and Mitchell ran forward, leaving the corridor with Carter even further behind._

_Three more guards came running towards them, but they were too slow. The tall humanoids with their gleaming skin fell like trees, pale blood spattering the floor._

_Mitchell was on the bridge first, and the first to fall. The stunning blast hit him squarely in the chest and ten more Furlings were upon Evan the second he passed the threshold. Well, so much for that._

_He stared down at the other man, a dull humming noise in his ears as the tension subsided. They had abandoned stealth. On purpose. Hoping their ship would be here on time. Well, so much for that._

_The fingers twitched. The first thing to move after the stunner had hit him and Evan looked up again. The Furling walking towards him now was slightly smaller than the others, his chest bare, his skin a deep scarlet._

_Their Emperor._

_Evan let out a long breath. He hadn’t struggled against the hands holding him, but he felt them growing tighter._

_“How did you get onboard?” The Emperor hissed through his sharp needle-point teeth as his slit-like eyes roamed over Evan._

_“Secrets of the trade,” Evan said, his voice forcibly calm as sweat trickled down his neck. He wasn’t sassy as Mitchell. Not as clever when it came to comebacks as Jackson, but he’d be damned if he told this guy about the virus. If they hadn’t found out already. His stomach was in a tight knot, as the heavy-set guard pushed him forward and the other took away his weapons._

_The Emperor looked Evan up and down, his unreadable eyes resting on his. “Kill him.”_

_Two words. The last things he’d hear._

_He barely had time to register them. To think of Alex, Grace and Caleb one last time. The grip on his arms slackened for the fraction of a second, but it was enough. With one single powerful push, he managed to throw the hands off him and he lurched forward, his hand closing on the hilt of the ceremonial dagger hanging from the Emperor’s waist, who realized his mistake a split second too late. But before he could speak. Before anyone could react, Evan had pulled the dagger from its sheath and rammed it into the Emperor’s chest, praying he’d hit at least one of the hearts._

_His face was so close to the Furling’s, he felt the icy damp breath on his face and the red skin stood out clearly against a backdrop of the bluish black of space. Time seemed to stop. Everything narrowed down to this moment. And then he was ripped off the Furling, who toppled over, lying face-down on the cold blue floor of the ships bridge. Evan blinked, the knife still in his hand, and then it all vanished, his surroundings blurring into light and then back to colour._

_Dark grey._

_Fluorescent lights_

_Evan blinked, letting out a huff and trying to ignore the cold, sticky blood on his hand and dropping on the pristine floor of the_ Apollo’s _bridge._

_And there were Carter and Mitchell, both of them sprawled out on the floor, both of them unconscious as a team of doctors rushed towards them. Evan whirled around to see Ellis sitting in the command chair, flanked by Meyers and Marks. “You okay?”_

_Evan nodded absentmindedly. “Mitchell was stunned, Carter was hit. The Emperor is dead… I think.”_

_For a moment there Ellis’ eyes widened. Then he turned to Marks. “Open fire. Send that nuke.”_

“Cam was trying to send another expedition to Pegasus,” Carter said, the words hanging in the air for a moment or two, before she continued. “Since we hadn’t heard from the Furlings in a while, he thought it was a good idea. Worth the risk to check up on the outskirts of the galaxy.”

“He didn’t say.” Evan exchanged a glance with Alex, who was sitting bolt upright, clutching her wine glass tightly.

“He only told me a week or so before he died.” Carter cleared her throat. “He asked me for help. To ask the Tok’ra to spy a bit on Furling space. Well… I did, but before the Tok’ra even responded…”

The implications of what Carter was saying were unthinkable. Unbelievable. And if it hadn’t been Carter who was sitting in front of them now, speaking those words, Evan would have laughed.

“Are you sure?” Alex leaned forward, finally put her glass down and folded her hands. “I mean… are you seriously saying what I think you’re saying?”

“Listen, I don’t know what to think. All I know is that the IOA doesn’t want to even risk another war with the Furlings. The mere threat of another major conflict in this galaxy has them rattled.”

The thing was, Evan wasn’t entirely sure he disagreed with that. These past twenty years of relative peace had been like a blessing. They could explore half of this galaxy in peace. They could trade and expand their operations if they wanted to.

But what expansion was there? Hadn’t he poured over the budget reports this very morning and felt the threat of collapse in the far future? Because that was exactly it. If they downsized just a bit more, they wouldn’t be able to maintain their presence out there. And the budget cuts had started about two years ago.

“Evan?”

Had she been talking? He looked up, brushed his hand over his neck and nodded at Alex. “We shouldn’t draw attention to this until we haven’t figured out what’s going on.”

“You could be in danger.”

He nodded again. “I agree.” He bit his lip and looked up at Carter again, determined to ignore her staring at him. “Thanks for the warning.” The problem was, he couldn’t let this stop him. He’d be careful, yes. “Listen, why don’t we take a detour with the _Hammond_? We’re supposed to check up on things in the Othala galaxy, right?” It was a check-up on what used to be the Asgard homeworld and it had mostly turned into a memorial service they carried out every five years to commemorate the Asgard and their alliance. He was supposed to be part of that trip and, given the new information, he was inclined to ask Alex to come as well. One small trip couldn’t hurt, could it? “Pegasus is… more or less on the way? Especially with a small engine failure to justify a detour?”

Relief flooded Carter’s face. She nodded. “I’d hoped you’d say that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright everybody, start packing your bags! We’re going back home! At least for a short trip. Do you have any theories on what might happen next? I’d love to know your thoughts!


	22. Chapter 22

** Chapter 22 **

_2034_

These days Grace recalled all too vividly why she hadn’t bothered with getting a PHD at first. She liked working in the lab about as much as she liked working in the field, but pouring hours upon hours over formulating sentences that would eventually make up a piece of academic writing was tedious work and as she stared at the screen she couldn’t help but admire her brother for going through this exercise with flying colours. This thesis would take years to write and the prospect alone made her feel suffocated.

After about three hours of staring at the holo screen, she switched to another document and started typing up the report she’d have to hand in within the next couple of days. That wouldn’t take an hour, but she was glad for the distraction. And then it would be high time for the next pre-mission briefing.

Her team, along with SG-3 were going to help the people of Larsa establish a settlement on Langara. Despite the Jaffa had finally bailing on the Larsans, the latter had decided to give settling the abandoned planet another shot, and people from the SGC would help. They would have to go there in a sort-of undercover mission, but in return, the Larsans would share some of their yield with them. It wasn’t an entirely bad plan, but Grace doubted the IOA would let them keep doing this for long. Getting a people settled was one thing. Constantly working in an area that might come under attack any moment and breaking a well-established treaty was another.

But apparently the data which Carter had brought back from the Tok’ra had swayed the IOA’s opinion and they were willing to take a minor risk in helping one people set up a mining operation in neutral territory. In thirty years or so they might even start talking to the Furlings again.

Maybe.

But who was she to form plans like that?

With a sigh, she finally turned off her computer and decided to get some coffee. Yes, that probably wasn’t the worst of ideas. Some coffee, maybe even a bit of cake. A bit of a sugar rush couldn’t be so bad when you were trying to be productive.

Once the elevator doors opened in front of her, she spotted her brother heading for the cafeteria and talking animatedly to Josh. It was still something she hadn’t gotten used to: seeing her brother in those green BDUs. Somehow it’d been easier to get comfortable around Josh in these things. Seeing Caleb with a gun on that mission to Larsa, well, that had been even more disconcerting.

“Hey!” she called after them, hurrying to catch up. Upon seeing her, Josh raised one eyebrow.

“You look exhausted,” he commented, making her shrug.

“Thank you. You’ve always been exceptional at giving compliments, Josh.”

“Well, I try.” He grinned at her and as they lined up at the dessert counter, she couldn’t help but remember those days when they’d been at school together, waiting in line and for lunch.

She picked up a piece of apple pie and reached for a mug, Caleb took a while selecting a tea bag and Josh went ahead to grab a table. Sometimes she wondered if things had changed that much since then.

“What were been talking about?” she asked when she’d sat down with them. Somehow, despite the fact that they were all well in their twenties by now, she couldn’t help thinking of them as _the boys_. She’d probably keep thinking that until they were all ancient with a dozen grandchildren each.

Caleb stirred his tea with the bag and shrugged. “Apparently the trip to the dig site in Italy is being postponed,” he said. “ _Antigone_ did a sensor sweep of the surrounding area and didn’t find anything else of interest, so they don’t think there’ll be anything of value left for us to find.”

“And by _anything of value_ they mean another Zero Point Module of course,” Josh said with a roll of his eyes. Well, that ought to be frustrating. Had the two of them remained employed by their universities, they might have been allowed to keep working on that dig site.

“And by _they,_ ” Caleb added, his voice so low only Grace and Josh could hear it, “we mean Dad and the other militaries in charge.”

“Caleb…” Grace said warningly, unable to hold the scolding out of her voice. She’d thought this debate was over.

“Just saying…”

“You know he can’t be seen favouring you,” she muttered, recalling those first miserable weeks under her father’s command as she realised it would be years and years until she could even start hoping for a promotion with him in charge. Well, she’d come to terms with that. He wouldn’t be in charge forever.

Caleb sighed again, looked up and froze for the fraction of a second. Grace didn’t need to turn around to see who had entered the cafeteria. Caleb’s face only assumed that particular look of horror and pleasure when Lucas turned up. Those two really needed a good, long talk.

“There you are,” Lucas said, sitting down next to Grace and nodding at Josh and Caleb.

“Me?” Josh asked, his mouth full of cake.

Rolling his eyes, Lucas turned to Grace, his elbow on the table. “Miller wants to talk to us. Apparently our team’s going along on that mission to commemorate the Asgard.”

“We are?” Grace asked incredulously.

He shrugged. “Come on,” he said, shoving her plate towards Caleb with the barest smile. “You finish that, okay?”

What the hell was going on here?

“You look like a dork,” Josh muttered, once Grace and Lucas had left the cafeteria.

“Would you please stop commenting on how people look, Josh?” Caleb hissed through gritted teeth, barely keeping himself from looking at the cake which Lucas had placed in front of him. That twinkle in Lucas’ eyes had left him more unnerved than a punch in the gut might have done. He pulled the tea bag out of his mug and let it fall on Grace’s plate.

“Geez, lighten up, please. It’s unbearable how he rattles you. Just go up to him and kiss him senseless already.”

Caleb nearly choked on his tea, the hot liquid burning in his nostrils as he snatched up a napkin and pressed it to his face.

“Not a big secret, you know? That you like him?” Josh said calmly, leaning back and sipping his coffee.

Still coughing and fighting for breath, Caleb did his best to ignore the stares from the Marines three tables over and shook his head. “No, I didn’t know,” he said, realizing this was the first time in a while he admitted he had a thing for Lucas. And who could blame him, really? He’d known him forever, they’d almost kissed once, and Lucas was just about the most handsome man Caleb had ever laid eyes on. But still. “Thanks for telling me,” he wheezed, wiping his face with another napkin. “I’d better get back to work.”

Josh groaned. “Don’t be like that.”

“No, seriously. I still have to catalogue…stuff.”

“Sure… stuff. I can tell you have a PHD.”

Caleb bit his lip, picked up his mug and got up. This whole conversation wasn’t exactly helping in picking up his mood. Quite to the contrary: this little talk was surely going to haunt him for the next couple of hours and make it even harder to face Lucas again. They were colleagues. Whatever feelings Caleb may or may not have, giving into them was out of the question. “Please leave it be, Josh,” he said. “Please.”

Josh bit his lip and nodded after just about three seconds of studying Caleb’s face. “Okay,” he said. “Sorry.”

_“I’m surprised your parents are so in love with them. My mom and dad never read these books,” Lucas said, turning the last of seven volumes over in his hands. “I’ve no idea why._ He _will read anything.”_

Well, your dad is a bit weird sometimes, _Caleb thought, as he sat down next to his friend. But that seemed like a rude thing to say, so instead he said: “My uncle didn’t read them either, and he’s British.”_

_“British being the perfect excuse to read these?” Lucas grinned, his teeth flashing as he said so. He was a couple of months older than Caleb, but since Caleb had last seen him, he’d started to appear older somehow. Maybe it was the military haircut, or the way the muscles in his arms were more defined than before. Caleb couldn’t be sure._

_“I don’t know. I always thought this was why my mom is into them.” Caleb shrugged and picked up the sixth volume. He liked reading these books, he really did, he just had no idea why his parents were still so obsessed with them. It must be one of these inside jokes they often shared between them._

_“You’re not?” Lucas asked, his tone almost incredulous. “I mean…”_

_“Come on, we all know the plot, we’ve all seen the movies. It’s nothing special.”_

_Lucas scoffed, put the book back on the bedside table and lay back. He’d only just started attending Air Force Academy and Caleb was home for the Christmas holidays of his first semester in Chicago. They hadn’t seen each other in months. Things ought to be the same, but they were weirdly difficult, weren’t they? Not that it was harder to talk to each other, or to enjoy each other’s company. It was just… this weird tension was unnerving and it was something Caleb wasn’t sure he wanted to dive into._

_He’d flinched when Lucas came into his room to say hello and found him pouring over the seventh Harry Potter book. Seeing that smile, those bright blue eyes, had made his insides churn with an urge he’d never felt before. An urge to hug Lucas, pull him close against his chest and… and what?_

_Swallowing hard, Caleb lay down next to Lucas. Downstairs he could hear the television as his parents watched that ridiculous black and white movie for the umpteenth time. Grace was out with Torren… Teyla and John were visiting old friends in Colorado Springs for the holidays, and Grace had jumped on the opportunity to drag their son off to the park. They were alone._

_And Caleb hadn’t failed to realize that Lucas had closed the door behind him. Just the flicker of a smile in the corner of his mouth, and the door had fallen shut. With a soft click that resonated in the room, but Lucas pretended not to notice._

_Or maybe he hadn’t._

_Sometimes Caleb wasn’t quite sure about the things Lucas noticed and didn’t notice._

_They’d talked briefly about their holidays, about their lives, but somehow they had failed to come up with new things to talk about. And now they were both lying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling, their arms accidentally touching._

_If Caleb had a mind to, he could just stretch out his fingers and touch Lucas’s. Did he have a mind to, though?_

_He cleared his throat, ready to ask what Lucas’s plans for New Year’s Eve were, when the brush of warm skin against his fingertips sent a jolt through his entire body, basically freezing the words on his lips._

_Turning his head, he found Lucas looking directly at him, those light eyes boring right into his. They were such a stark contrast to his dark skin, that they would have stood out, even if they weren’t the only thing Caleb wanted to look at right now. He took a breath instinctively and placed his hand on Lucas’s cheek. He’d never done this before. Well, maybe when they were kids, but he couldn’t remember if he had. All thought seemed to have drained out of him as Lucas shifted to lie on the side and casually put a hand on Caleb’s stomach. Were Lucas’s fingers trembling? Or was it just his own skin tingling that made him wonder about this?_

_“Caleb,” Lucas said, his voice much deeper than usual and the sound made Caleb shiver. What the hell was going on here? Caleb didn’t know, all he did know was that he wanted Lucas to lean in. He wanted to feel those lips on his, feel that hand trail up his body and cup his cheek._

_“Lucas, I-“ Caleb began, his thumb stroking the soft skin, but he broke off, unsure of what to say. He wanted more. But was that a good idea?_

_He took a deep breath and started sitting up, desperate to meet those lips, to feel more of this warmth, of this tingling._

_And then the door burst open and Lucas flinched away, sitting bolt upright as Grace’s voice echoed through the room. “Oops! Sorry! Mom says the scones are ready!” And then Grace ran off again, leaving the door wide open._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this was a short one, but the next chapter will be up tomorrow (I hope). I've been itching to write this flashback and now seemed like the perfect time for it. Hope you liked it!


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhm… so I hadn’t expected this, but I had to change the rating from M to E for this chapter. There’ll be some smut in this chapter and if you don’t want to read it, just skip after Evan’s announcement. If you’d like to read it: have fun!

_2034_

Alex was standing in the doorway to Caleb’s old room, arms folded over her chest, staring at the empty book case.

Their son claimed that he didn’t think too much of physical copies. That they were impractical. And he wasn’t wrong. They took up room when you put them in a bag, they were heavy sometimes, especially the really good ones, but that wasn’t all they were. Books were memories. And they had memories. Little creases in the pages from when you sat on them by accident, broken spines, the occasional stain on the cover, or even on the pages themselves. They were like little notes you came across whenever you opened that exact page again. It was something no digital copy could ever give you. Especially not the smell. Once physical copies of books had mostly vanished from their lives, Alex had started to miss that smell. The smell of new books as well as that particular sweet and dusty scent only a very old book held.

And Caleb had taken the books of his childhood room with him to his new apartment. If that wasn’t progress, Alex didn’t know what was.

With a soft smile, she pushed away from the doorframe and peeked into Grace’s room, where Winnie was lying on the made-up bed, flat on his back and snoring loudly. Grace had left most of her things here and opted to buy everything new. Her desk had always been tidy, but it still looked empty, even though she’d taken most of her supplies with her.

Alex looked up at the ceiling, at the familiar shape of the F-16 model which Evan had given her for her eleventh birthday. He’d struggled with it. With the fact that Grace wanted to join the military, especially the Air Force. Alex remembered those talks with Evan all too well. Talks which sometimes lasted half the night. Talks in which they always discussed the same things over and over again.

About how terrified he was that she might get hurt. That she would join the Air Force and be rejected for pilot training. That she would be accepted for pilot training and would fail. That disappointment was something _he_ couldn’t bear in her place.

About how incredibly proud of was that she must be the bravest little soul in the entire universe.

About how ridiculous this was. To talk about her future in the military when she was only ten years old.

And then, over time, those talks had subsided. Because Grace had already made up her mind and there was no stopping her. She was going to attend Air Force Academy and become an airman and an engineer. She’d become a pilot. And the older she got, the more the two of them learned to accept her decision. The little scare they both got when she was selected by Mitchell to train for the Stargate Program was quickly forgotten. At least until Evan was assigned his new post.

“What’re you doing up there?”

Alex hadn’t even heard the front door, but Winnie jumped up and raced down the stairs to greet Evan.

“Thinking?” she mused, leaning against the railing and looking down at him as he was standing there in dress-blues, looking up at her with that incredible smile of his.

He cocked his head, patted Winnie’s back and started climbing the stairs. “That’s usually a good thing with you.”

Alex laughed. “What did they say? Caleb and Grace?”

Pulling a face, Evan climbed the last few steps and leaned against the railing next to her while Winnie trudged up the stairs again to sit at their feet. “Miller got to Grace first, so I didn’t really have a chance to pull Lucas, Josh and our offspring to the side first. I told them to come by here tomorrow morning. Caleb has to be off-world in the afternoon, but I guess we can tell them about our wicked plan then?” With a shrug, he reached up to start undoing his tie, his mouth twitching in that familiar way once he started tugging at the knot.

With a shake of the head, she put her hands on his.

“What?”

She smiled despite herself. The talks the next day were something to be excited about, but what they were about to do was to very clearly defy the goal of the mission. And if they weren’t careful about it, things might even become dangerous. But still… they were doing the right thing. They would get a chance to check up on the Athosians at least. Maybe Ronon was still with them. At least Alex hoped he was.

“They’ll be looking forward to it once you tell them what’s gonna happen,” she said, slowly opening the tie, but leaving it around his neck.

He pondered for a moment, then he nodded. “We’re gonna tell them, though,” he said. “You and me. It was your idea to take them along.”

“Ah, you got me. I was trying to back out.”

There was that grin again. That knowing smile which always made her weak in the knees. “I never took you for a chicken.”

“Are you calling me a chicken?”

“I’m calling you a chicken,” he agreed with a soft laugh and she let go of his tie. Before she could drop her hands, though, he caught her wrists and pulled them against his chest. “How were classes today?”

“Productive? Long?” She was relieved all officers in the program were required to learn at least some Ancient and Goa’uld these days. Some of them even took it as a motivation to expand their knowledge and learn some other alien languages as well, but the truth was, most of these officers would never hold a candle to the linguists and archaeologists working for the SGC. But at least they’d be able to take part in a friendly conversation with an Ancient, should they ever come across one of those again.

He nodded. He’d learned a few basics himself, but that had been over twenty years ago. “Did you have dinner?”

Alex drummed her fingertips against his chest, revelling in the warmth emanating from his body. “You know it’s past ten, right? I should be asking you.”

“I had something at the base,” he said. “Should we call it a day?”

“Yes, let’s.”

A few minutes later she was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching him undress, his movements sure and clean. Clean-cut like everything about him. At least on the outside. There were layers to him few people had ever seen. Layers she knew intimately.

His occasional doubts about the requirements of his job. The conflict when he realized that duty sometimes required sacrificing his own opinions and wishes. He’d always known that to be true, but to experience it first-hand, had been something difficult, and it had happened for the first time very early in his career. Over the years that side of him had become more pronounced and that made him an even better leader. Yes, he’d always followed orders, sometimes to the letter. But what she’d told Caleb almost a year ago held true. Evan had become creative. He still would never openly question orders, but he’d find a way to make the best of it. To stick to his principles and beliefs. That young Lieutenant she’d known first wasn’t gone. He still wanted to do what was right. To help people. And by and large, that was what he was doing. The political and military turmoil of the past decades had transformed that man, moulding him into someone who had managed to survive and at the same time to keep fighting in an imperfect system.

“Still thinking?” he asked, as he unbuttoned his crisp white shirt and her gaze immediately shifted to the place on his chest where that scar should have been. That place where the Wraith had fed upon him. Really, it was a small miracle he had so few scars. There was just that one massive scar on his thigh from when he’d crashed in Antarctica, and that other one across his stomach from when he’d been stabbed by a Furling back in Pegasus.

“Thinking. Wondering. Admiring.”

“Ah. The holy trinity.”

“Heretic.”

“Spoilsport.” He grinned down at her and in his eyes she could see that he knew exactly what she was thinking about. “You sure you’re up for it? It’s late.”

“General Lorne, do you really want to go there?”

His grin grew a bit wider and not for the first time was she relieved that the face looking down at her now had nothing to do with he face that had stared at her on that Hive ship. The feeding had taken it toll, making his eyes look sunken in and the skin, which hung on his bones, seem like parchment. That face had been nothing but a skull framed by stark white hair. This wasn’t him. This was Evan Lorne. Grey-haired with wrinkles around his eyes and in the corners of his mouth, but still him. The way he was supposed to be. “It’s way past our bedtime.”

She laughed, feeling light-headed all of a sudden. “Don’t ever say that again.”

Nodding, he moved forward took off that shirt and let it fall to the floor. It was ready for laundry anyway. “Okay,” he said, kneeling down in front of her and placing his hands on her hips. “First, I’d like to talk to you, though.”

His voice was so serious, so raspy, that Alex felt her heart plummet for a moment. She leaned forward and took his face into her hands. Her shadow fell across his features, darkening them, but making his eyes stand out a bit more.

“I was thinking…” he trailed off and licked his lips. His hands tightened on her hips, digging into the material of her long night shirt.

“That’s usually a good thing with you,” she echoed his previous sentiment, making him chuckle.

“When this is over, this mission, when we made sure that our people in Pegasus are okay, I’m gonna retire.”

Alex let the words hang there for a moment. _Our people._ He meant the Athosians of course. And Ronon. Not knowing what had become of them had weighed heavily upon them both for over twenty years. And now they would at least try and get some closure. They had one shot at it, before he might not even have a choice _but_ to retire. This man, whom they had placed in command of the Stargate Program would defy the people who’d killed Mitchell. She could only hope he wouldn’t meet the same fate. But there was no telling, was there? No way to be sure he’d come out of this alive. Or that she would. Who could say?

Swallowing hard, she leaned in, brushing her lips lightly over his. “Hold me,” she whispered, her eyes closed. There’d be time to talk. More than enough time. The trip to the Asgard galaxy would take roughly three weeks. They could be quicker, but they’d need to conserve energy if they wanted to stop in Pegasus on their way back. Plenty of time to talk…

Plenty.

She felt him nod, felt him move closer, his hand sliding up her body, while the other held her firmly in place.

And even more time to talk once he’d taken retirement.

Her heart leapt at the thought.

Yes, it meant they were growing old quickly. But it also meant they’d managed to do this together. Live together, have children, raise them. Grow old together.

He sighed contentedly as he kissed her. A deep, heart-warming sound which always managed to sent shivers down her spine, making her toes curl as he spread her legs with his body.

“Hey,” he whispered, “won’t you look at me? Are you mad?”

Alex blinked. “What? No?” She shook her head and trailed her hand down his torso, wishing for the fabric of his undershirt to be gone already. “I just…” she shook her head again and slid her hand over the button of his trousers and then further down. He raised his eyebrows quizzically, his hand, suddenly on her neck, urging her to keep going. “Looking forward to having you all to myself.”

“Are you gonna quit your job, then?”

She laughed. She wasn’t sure. “Let’s go on research trips together.”

“Like in the old days?”

Nodding, she pulled him closer, opening first the button, then his fly. “If you will,” she agreed, capturing his lips with another kiss, so she could feel his throaty moan against her skin, as she gently rubbed him through the thin fabric of his underpants. That sound, the breath hitting her lips, was enough to create that familiar hot knot in the pit of her stomach and she pulled him even closer, her arm around his neck as he held on to her tightly, his hand buried in her nightshirt.

It took a bit longer for his cock to become hard nowadays, but it made this whole process, the touching, the kissing, all the more pleasurable. To know that she had to take her time. That she would be there far sooner than he would.

His kisses trailed down her neck as he pushed the strap of her wide nightshirt to the side to reveal one of her breasts. Greedily he kissed down her chest, finding the bud and flicking his tongue over it. A familiar touch, which never failed.

Smiling softly, she leaned forward again, forcing his body back with hers. “Take them off,” she said when he opened his eyes and she didn’t need to tell him again what she meant. Without hesitating, he got rid of the undershirt, pushed down his pants and climbed onto the bed.

“Not fair that you’re still fully dressed,” he breathed, his cock pressed hard against her belly.

“You just have to tell me what you want, you know?”

He didn’t have it in him to laugh. His eyes were wide, but his hands were steady as he lifted the shirt and helped her pull it off. For a moment they just lay there, staring at each other, watching the other’s features as hands roamed freely over well-known territory. “Have I told you you’re still the most beautiful person I’ve ever met?”

Alex moved closer, her pulse starting to quicken as she felt him firm and ready against her skin. Slowly she pressed her lips to his, breathing in his scent, her fingers stroking him until she felt him starting to move. “Haven’t looked in the mirror recently, have you?” she breathed, allowing him to wrap her tightly in his strong arms and push her on her back.

Evan made a soft shushing sound. He slowly spread her legs again, letting her guide him towards her centre and she opened her eyes as he hovered there, his breath hot against her skin. She put her hands on his face again, her fingertips stroking the lines beside his eyes. It wasn’t as though these things were harder now. In a way being with him had become even easier. Even more natural.

“I love you, too,” he mumbled and Alex’s eyes fell shut as he kissed her again, his tongue playing with hers as he gently pushed inside her, evoking the guttural sound inside her chest.

She knew it, but hearing him say it was the ultimate way to make her feel weak in the knees. To make her want him even more. Maybe because they so rarely said it. It didn’t need to be expressed a thousand times a day, sometimes not even every week, but it was always there. That constant in their lives. That knowledge that there was love.

She let out a long breath, feeling her body adjust to him without a conscious thought and revelling in the weight on top of her, that feeling of friction deep down as he started to move, pressing her down on the mattress, his lips nibbling on her neck. She shut her eyes tight, starting to echo his movement, to follow him along, arching into him as their breaths picked up the same familiar rhythm.

His skin was hot already, almost suffocatingly so. He pushed deep inside her, stayed put for a moment, making her gasp and she dug her hands into his back, revelling in the sensation of his closeness. He moaned again, the trace of her name on his lips, making her heart flutter. Gently taking his face into her hands, she gave him the cue to roll over, her lips on his temple. He had his eyes closed, but his arms were tightly around her as she came to lay on top of him.

Her hands on his chest, she kissed him again, forcing herself to keep breathing normally as she started moving again. Evan’s eyes were closed, the back of his head pressed against the mattress and she picked up the pace. Seeing him like this, his mouth forming a silent O, was all the urging she needed.

With a soft huff, he opened his eyes again and she was glad they hadn’t turned off the lights. “Alex,” he whispered, and she nodded. He was close. She could feel it and she pressed down, feeling the length of him filling her, and then his right hand found her centre, gently pressing and rubbing exactly where she needed him.

They came as one, trembling and out of breath.

Still their eyes were locked as they lay side by side, him still buried inside her, her leg wrapped around his hip. “How did I ever get you, Evan,” she muttered against his lips, their eyes as locked as well as their hands.

The warmth hadn’t left his eyes. It was still the same. Still that same promise. He kissed her briefly. “You had me at hello.” And with that sentence she felt another certainty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What can I say? I like writing these two. They’re crazy about each other, but in a very sweet, very vanilla way and they share a kind of intimacy that transcends passion. If that makes sense? Hope you liked it! In the next chapter we’re gonna be stuck on the Hammond for a while. The next chapter might take some time though, since I started working on my project for Fandom Trumps Hate. If you like Poe/Finn you might want to check it out.


	24. Chapter 24

** Chapter 24 **

_2034_

Only Miller, Hernandez and Jebson, Josh’s team leader, had been called to the bridge to watch the ceremony along with the crew on duty there. And that meant that there must be twenty people up there already. In a way she was glad she wasn’t in that crowded area of the old Earth vessel.

Grace was standing at attention with the rest of her team and everybody else gathered in the main hangar, the doors of which had been opened. The shield was completely invisible, not a single flickering hinted at the chink in the armour. Nothing would let you know it was there, but as it was, it provided them with a view of a thin field of asteroids floating around the system’s sun. It was nothing but debris of what had once been the Asgard homeworld.

The military personnel stood in several rows in the centre of the hangar as General Lorne’s voice echoed through the cool air. The words had been chosen well, remembering the contribution of the Asgard on the billions of lives in their galaxy. Thanking them for years of friendship and, in the end, the trust they had put into the humans of the Tau’ri to preserve their legacy.

Grace risked a look out of the corner of her eye, to where the civilian members of this small expedition to the Asgard galaxy were standing. Her brother and mother were in the first row, Caleb looking eerily out of place once again. Sometimes Grace couldn’t help but wonder whether Caleb revelled in this role of the outsider. She doubted it, though. He’d always been popular and he liked company. Maybe it was just her. Maybe she was the one who thought it weird seeing him here. And yet, somehow, seeing their mother here in the same BDUs as her son, seemed to be more normal. Somehow even Torren, who hadn’t been associated with the Stargate Program until four weeks ago, looked more at home here.

Her father ended his speech and, almost as an afterthought, the bright flash several miles outside, signalled the end of the ceremony. These flowers which had been beamed to the place where the core of the planet had once been, would float out there forever, but a bit more space litter probably didn’t hurt at this point.

“He doesn’t talk to me anymnore,” she heard Lucas say and Grace only just kept herself from rolling her eyes. Instead she looked at Ferretti heading over to one of Caleb’s team members, a burly, sour-looking sergeant.

“Who?” Grace prompted, digging for the name of the guy Ferretti was talking to, “Mortimer?”

Lucas’ elbow hit her side and she managed to throw him a smile. “Your idiot brother.”

For a moment she wondered whether she should pretend she didn’t know what was going on. Fat chance of that working. Why couldn’t these two just work it out already? “Well, I haven’t seen you talking to him when you two weren’t busy playing that silly boardgame with Josh.”

“I-“ Lucas broke off and bit his lip, opting to fall silent instead. It wasn’t exactly typical of him to stop like this, which meant this thing really seemed to be bothering him. Instead he looked over her shoulder at Caleb and Alex who were already on their way to the exit with most other people gathered in here.

The hangar doors were already starting to close. This thing was really over. Three weeks of travel for a ceremony that lasted half an hour. No big surprise the people from Earth only went on this trip every five years. And it really must be infuriating to her parents. The IOA granted this mission and the money it cost to send so many people in one of their most valuable ships, but they refused to launch a mission to investigate what had happened to their allies in Pegasus. No small wonder her father was doing his best to bend the rules. Especially with the suspicions about Mitchell hanging in the air.

“Look, this is none of my business,” she said evasively. She wasn’t even sure she could focus on it. The thought of what might have happened to Mitchell still haunted her, and both Caleb and Lucas were old enough to deal with their ridiculous problem on their own. What did they need her for?

“You don’t want me for a brother-in-law?”

Grace groaned and shoved him towards the door. They were supposed to be at the reception in a few minutes’ time. Not that she wanted to be there, but they’d be expected to show up in the mess. “Shut up, you can’t even talk to him without a buffer. You’re never getting married.”

That made him laugh. And it was a pleasant sound. The one that had always made her feel more at ease, even during tough times at the Academy. Somehow it made her feel a bit lighter now. “Well, maybe not. But just because I’m too damn scared. If this goes wrong-”

“Will you please sort this out? We’ll be stuck on this ship for weeks to come and I hate your whining.”

“Could you maybe talk to him? Ask him out for me?” He said with a nervous smile that took Grace completely by surprise. With a short grunt, she started walking towards the exit, ignoring that hopeful, fake grin. He had to know that was not going to happen.

“You know,” he said, catching up with her, “in Kelowna it was common for that request to be passed on by a friend.”

“Oh, it was not!” she burst out, shaking her head. Why the hell was he doing this? He and Caleb were grown men. They should know how to do these things!

“Well, you could at least find out for me if he would be receptive.”

“Lucas, you are such a chickenshit.”

_“She’s still so hot…” he said quietly. He was kneeling of the floor in the small bedroom. His hand was on Grace’s cheek, his face full of concern. “If the fever doesn’t come down in an hour, I’ll call for Keller again.”_

_Alex nodded and leaned back against Caleb’s bed. Their son was playing with bricks in the next room. He was really good at not needing them all the time. It made taking care of a sick Grace a bit easier. Caleb, Grace, Lucas and Torren had all caught Kirsan Fever on a short visit to the Athosian settlement, and normally that wouldn’t have been a problem. They had started treating her with an extract from the Enchuri plant straight away, but five days into this Grace still wasn’t feeling any better, while Caleb had felt better after only three._

_“The fever isn’t rising though.” It was high, but not too high. In fact, it had already come down somewhat._

_Kirsan Fever wasn’t considered a dangerous ailment and mostly children were affected by it. Alex and Evan had both caught it along with the rest of the expedition years ago and with the help of Ronon and Teyla had pulled through. But the days of memory loss and feeling sick still stuck with the two of them. It was the first serious illness their children had ever had to go through, and it was frightening to say the least and within a day their resolution to be calm about this sort of thing had shattered._

_Watching a child as it suffered and slept through most of the day, plagued by feverish dreams, was harder to bear than either of them would have expected. Especially if you’d already lost a child._

_Evan groaned softly and sat back on his heels. “We should let her sleep, huh?”_

_Alex nodded tiredly and slowly got to her feet. All in all, it was a good thing that it was Sunday, still the mandatory rest day, so they could spend some time with their children without having to worry about missing work. With the Furlings starting to spread out in this galaxy, they really needed to be reminded to take it slow every once in a while. The problem was that the Wraith had little to throw against the new enemy. Yes, the Wraith were still a major threat, but all things considered, the people of the Atlantis expedition would have preferred just having to worry about life-sucking aliens._

_For now though, they had the day to themselves. And as they walked into the living room, they saw Caleb sleeping on the rug in front of the window, snoring softly and holding the cuddly toy which Ronon had brought along after they returned home with their new-born son. Caleb was lying flat in his stomach, the sinking sun reflecting off his blond hair as he lay there, the little Pegasus-bear’s face pressed against his._

_“Well, this isn’t too bad,” Evan whispered. “Should I carry him to his bed?”_

_“No, if you move him, he’ll wake up.”_

_Nodding, Evan moved over to the couch, flopped down on it and closed his eyes. He was even more tired than she was and Alex had half a mind to sit down next to him, when the door chime rang through the small living room. With a groan, Evan started to get up, but Alex gestured for him to stay put and opened the door by waving her hand over the inside sensor._

_“Hey!” Jonas said with that bright smile of his. He waved over his shoulder at Evan. “D’you have a minute?”_

_Alex nodded slowly. “Caleb’s asleep though,” she said in a low voice._

_“I’m gonna lie down for a bit,” Evan said. “Long night and all.” He’d been on missions almost every day without pause for about a month now, and only when their children had fallen sick, had he been granted a short respite to “work on those mission reports”, as Woolsey had put it with one of his conspiratory nods. As quietly as he could, Evan went over to Caleb and picked him up, to Alex’s surprise without waking him. With an almost triumphant grin, he walked over to their bedroom, Caleb’s head resting against his shoulder._

_He let the door open so he could hear Grace, should she wake up, and Alex opened the glass door leading out on the balcony. When they sat down in the two chairs there, Jonas let out a sigh. “The kids aren’t feeling better, huh?” He looked over his shoulder at the apartment and then focused his gaze out on the ocean. The water below was as quiet as it often was at this time of year on New Lantea. They had moved the city back here about half a year ago. The climate of this world was a lot friendlier than on their previous home world._

_Alex shook her head. “No, Caleb’s doing_ much _better and Grace isn’t getting worse. I guess it’ll be all over in a few days.”_

_“Yeah.”_

_“How’s Lucas?”_

_“Oh, he’s with Teyla and Amanda and Torren. So, they’re all fine.”_

_So Torren as well as Lucas had fully recovered. Alex bit her lip. Well, this was embarrassing. Why hadn’t she asked about this before? “That’s good to hear.”_

_Jonas nodded once and briefly raised his eyes. He wasn’t smiling anymore, and the way he was wringing his hands as he turned to look out on the ocean again made her uneasy to say the least. Jonas wasn’t lost for words usually. Not anymore. There’d been a time when he was sullen and miserable. A time when he hadn’t been the charming man she’d known at first. But that time was mostly gone. He had a new girlfriend. A child. And no, these things could never replace the things he’d lost, who would know that better than Alex, but it made them easier to bear, didn’t it? At least a bit? So where was this coming from?_

_“Jonas, what’s wrong?”_

_He bent over and ruffled his hair. “Alex, I’m not sure what to do.”_

_“I figured as much,” she said, turning to look when she saw a flicker of movement to her right. The apartment door had opened and was closing just as she looked at it. Evan was probably going for a quick run. He did that sometimes before going to bed._

_“I was thinking that maybe I should ask Amanda to marry me.”_

_Frowning, she turned to look at Jonas again. “Well, duh…”_

_“It’s … won’t she think I’m asking because of Lucas?”_

_“Jonas, you have a kid. You love her. You have a life together. What’s the harm?”_

_Biting his lip, Jonas turned to look at his hands and Alex could see the self loathing in his eyes before he turned his head so she couldn’t see his face. “None, really… I’m just not sure she’s gonna say yes.” Th  
That wasn’t it and for the first time in her life she felt like kicking him in the shins. He’d deserve it. Yes, he’d lost his fiancée and child when the Ori attacked his homeworld, but that was no excuse to make him miserable for the rest of his life. Not when he’d been given this incredible chance with Amanda and Lucas. “Jonas, you’re such-“ _

_“Is Caleb with you?”_

_Alex hadn’t even seen Evan approach and when she looked up to see Evan’s tousled hair, she realized he hadn’t been the one to leave the apartment. The slight note of panic in his voice, made her almost choke. Jumping to her feet, she pushed past him and out into the corridor just as the door to the transport at the end of the it closed. Her heart dropped. This place was enormous! How was she supposed to know- She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and took another step into the corridor to follow Caleb._

_“Alex, d’you want me to come with you?” Jonas. Evan was standing right behind him with bare feet, his eyes focused on the corridor._

_“Evan, stay with Grace, I can figure out where he went. It’s okay, Jonas. Really. Just go talk to Amanda, okay?” She almost wished he could come along, but a grumpy Jonas was not the kind of person she wanted around, and, to be fair, this city was safe enough. This planet was safe. How bad could this get, really?_

_They both nodded and Alex half expected Evan to grab her arm, but he knew that someone should stay with Grace. “Right,” he breathed hoarsely as Alex rushed off to the transporter, hoping she could remember what McKay had told her about tracing where the transporter had gone yet while her heart was beating so fast she could hear it in her ears._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In hindsight Alex and Evan think they’ve always been cool about raising their kids, when they’ve been pretty panicked when the kids were sick for the first time. I guess perception changes over time.
> 
> Yeah… cliffhanger. Sorry! The next part will be up on Sunday, I hope. I’m sure most of you got the reference to Metamorphosis. Jonas and Sam were such a cool team, but I’m also sure Lucas and Grace are just as cool together. Time Caleb and Lucas pulled themselves together? Well… we’ll see. Next chapter I’m gonna go into the history with Torren and the other “kids”.


	25. Chapter 25

** Chapter 25 **

_2034_

Torren was a teacher. Settled in his job and in his home. He taught English and Philosophy at a high school. He volunteered in his free time.

Still, getting him to sign up for the Stargate Program hadn’t been difficult. Making sure his paperwork went through properly might pose a problem, but Evan was determined not to let this bother him until they got back to Earth. He’d only talked to him about a week before their departure and he hadn’t bothered to check his inbox before they were well on their way. Torren had a right to be here, even if the official mission wasn’t suppose to take them to Pegasus.

“So, you really do this thing every five years? With so many people?” He asked, still incredulous.

“Well, not with so many people, but the leader of the SGC goes here regularly. It’s a tradition and it always calls to mind that we wouldn’t be here without our allies.” Evan smiled at Torren. The boy had known about the SGC for a long time now. Sheppard, who had left the Program and the Air Force behind long ago, obviously hadn’t even thought about keeping certain things a secret from his surrogate son.

It had made things easier.

“Since they forgot about other allies…”

Evan nodded and clapped Torren on the shoulder. They were close to the archive, a copy of the holo room which the Asgard had built into the Odyssey long ago. It was where copies of all the databanks they had ever found or recovered were stored. Usually Caleb and Alex spent a fair amount of their time in there, but Alex had decided to lie down for a bit and last Evan had seen of Caleb, his son had been on his way to the gym.

“Has Alex shown you what she documented of your parents’ people yet?” he asked and Torren shook her head.

“She offered, but I haven’t brought up the courage yet.

“High time, then.” They were a week into their journey back, which meant the intended tech failure and the subsequent trip to Pegasus was imminent.

“And- well, it’s not my parents’ history, is it? It’s my mom’s. My father and her were estranged before we came to Earth. My dad’s someone else.”

Evan nodded pensively as they rounded a corner. John Sheppard had been the one to raise this boy together with Teyla, and he’d done an incredible job at it. Still, Evan didn’t even want to think about what Kanaan might say, should he find out that his son didn’t consider him his father. “You’re saying I shouldn’t have asked you to come? Shouldn’t have made up a job that would suit you?” Officially, Torren was here to document the journey from a civilian perspective. There must be about a hundred people within the SGC to be suitable for a job like this, Alex included, and he wasn’t looking forward to the pushback he’d get once they returned, but he didn’t think for one second that Torren should be left on Earth when they tried to make contact with the Athosians again.

Torren smirked as they rounded another corner and shook his head. “Nope, to be honest, teaching English isn’t exactly a dream come true.”

Evan scoffed. “Well, enjoy this as long as it lasts, this might very well be our last trip to Pegasus, and your last assignment on the Stargate Program.” He’d pulled about a hundred strings to get Torren here, but he was glad he’d done it. Teyla had looked ready to hug him when he told her and Sheppard what he was planning.

As if on cue, one of the massive grey metal doors in front of them swung open, almost knocking into Evan’s face. He barely managed to stop, when Grace emerged into the corridor, a smudge of oil on her cheek. “Hey,” she grinned, her hand clutched around something in her pocket.

“Hey,” Evan said, catching Torren grin and then quickly hide the expression by wiping his face, pushing his rimless glasses askew. “All done for today?”

Grace nodded, taking her hand out of her pocket and patting the item inside.

“I was just about to show Torren the archive-“ before he even had the chance to complete the sentence, Grace took Torren by the hand and pulled him with her.

“I’ll do it!” she said happily. “Could you radio Colonel Carter for me? Tell her it’s done?”

Things were already changing, Evan thought, as he stood there, watching Grace retreat down another passageway with Torren. Grace would never have behaved this way at the SGC. Not when there was even the slightest chance the two of them might be overheard. Or maybe it was just Torren making her act this way.

With a sinking feeling that had nothing to do with the message he had to relay and everything to do with watching his daughter walk off with a guy, he closed the door behind her. Grace had never been good at closing doors behind her.

_There it was. North Pier. The lowest floor. That was where Caleb had gone._

_Evan had followed her into the corridor and was standing behind her now, white as a sheet._

_“I got him,” she said, finding that her voice was a lot calmer now. Caleb couldn’t be far from the transporter._

_Evan nodded, then took a step back. “Right, I’ll be with Grace then.”_

_With a thin smile, Alex turned her attention back on the panel to tell the transporter where she needed to go. The doors closed behind her and next second she was out in one of the corridors nobody ever seemed to use. “Caleb?” she called into the gloom, silently cursing McKay for insisting on keeping the lights out in the more remote areas. They could at least install some motion sensors! And Caleb was bound to be scared half to death._

_The only source of light were the lamps stretching from floor to ceiling with water bubbling inside them, the dim glow emanating from them creating ever-moving shadows._

_“Caleb? Honey?” She turned right, following her gut._

_“Mom!”_

_Alex whirled around. The voice had come from behind one of the bigger pillars. And just as she felt her heart lift, the light of the transporter went out and they were left in utter darkness._

“What d’you have in your pocket there?” Torren asked when the door to the archive closed behind them.

“Our ticket to Pegasus.” With a small wink, Grace stood in the centre of the room, her hand hovering over the console. “Do you want me to show you how this thing works?”

Torren sighed. She knew he was anxious to find out about where he’d come from, but he was also hesitant. “You know, my home’s not on New Athos.”

“My home’s not Atlantis, yet we’re still going to find out as much as possible about it, aren’t we?”

“So, what’s in your pocket?” he asked, closing the distance between them and putting his hand on her stomach. The touch, though not entirely unexpected, made Grace freeze for a second. She looked up at the security camera in one of the corners.

Turning her head towards him, she put her hand on his, entwined their fingers and smiled. “Why don’t I show you later? You’re the one not sharing quarters with anyone else.”

Torren grinned, shook his head as though bemused about what she’d said and kissed the tip of her nose. God, she wished her father would never see the footage. But she leaned in anyway, pressing her lips to his.

_“It’s okay,” she whispered, clutching him tightly. “I’m here, you’re okay.”_

_The thing was, though, she wasn’t entirely sure she was telling the truth. The light in the transport had gone out, which, all in all, couldn’t be a good sign. And then, just as Caleb dug his hands into her shirt, she heard the familiar voice of Amelia Banks in her earpiece. “Attention all personnel, we are under attack. Prepare for immediate evacuation.”_

_Attack._

_Immediate evacuation._

_Her heart plummeted and she was only glad Caleb couldn’t hear the voice still ringing in her ear._

_“Mommy, I’m sorry. Let’s go home.”_

_The high voice nearly made it impossible to breathe. The pleading in it robbed her of the ability to move._

_Closing her eyes and letting out a long breath, she leaned against the transporter door._ Deep breaths, _she told herself._ Just take some deep breaths. And think.

_The ground beneath her shook, forcing her to her knees and she only just managed to gulp down a scream. What had happened to her? She was better than this! But the small being in her arms, the tears she felt on her neck, were like a barrier she couldn’t breach._

_“Alex, come in!”_

_Evan. He must be going insane, alone in their apartment with the city under attack and in charge of their daughter. “I got him,” she said, hugging Caleb even tighter to her chest._

_“Mo-om!” Caleb was struggling against her tight embrace as the ground and the walls shook again._

_“It’s the Furlings. Banks said_ Daedalus _can’t get everyone out. They’re jammed.”_

 _Tears shot into her eyes. There was no way she could get to the Gate Room, no way for_ Daedalus _to get them out._

_“Alex!” The urgency in his voice was the thing that pulled her out of her stupor._

_“Yeah,” she croaked, releasing Caleb somewhat._

_“Where are you?”_

_“North Pier.”_

_A short pause. “Listen, I’m gonna head for the Underwater Bay and see if I can pick up any other stragglers. Go to one of the Loading Ramps. We’ll be there.”_

_Yes. Yes, they would be. If the Furlings didn’t shoot them out of the sky first._

“Does Ferretti suspect anything?” Torren’s arms were wrapped tightly about her as they lay on the side, both of them looking out of the tiny window at the whirlwind of blue and white as they travelled through hyperspace.

“Do you really want to talk about that now?” Grace looked at him over her shoulder. His dark eyes roamed over her face and he smiled softly. It wasn’t as though either of them had been trying to hide that there was something going on between them since they met again. But neither of them had told anyone this had been going on for years.

“We’ve been on this thing for four weeks. We slept together about a hundred times-”

“Oh, come on!”

“I mean, since the first time.”

With a roll of her eyes, she lay back down again, her cheek resting on his arm. His skin was so comfortably warm. “I kind of missed you,” she admitted, patting his hand. “Not just this, mind. I missed _you_.”

“That’s what you get for living so far apart.”

“You could’ve moved to Colorado earlier.”

Torren shrugged. “Could’ve, yes... but it doesn’t really matter now, does it? Since we’re well on our way to another galaxy?”

“I suppose,” Grace said, and as she sat up, she wrapped the blanket around her. She was somewhat uncomfortable with the window open to the universe outside, even though she knew nobody would actually be able to look through that window. “So...” she trailed off, looking down at him. At the dark, thick curls framing his face and the roguish grin he must have picked up from John.

“So, I guess I’m gonna talk to my new boss today? Tell him I’ve been in love with his daughter for a while now.”

Grace felt the heat in her cheeks and saw him grin even wider when he looked into her eyes. “You have?”

He shrugged and nodded. “Is that okay?” He stretched out a hand for her and she took it without hesitation. In a way what she had with Torren reminded her of what her mother had once told Grace about the relationship between herself and her dad. That things had just fallen into place. That they’d been comfortable around each other from the get-go. And that was just it. She was comfortable around Torren. He’d made her blush and laugh for years now and every time they met, things were uncomplicated. Things were good. Maybe too much so. Grace still wasn’t sure she was comfortable with how at ease she felt with him, but then again, she’d known him nearly all her life. That ought to make up for a lot of things.

Nodding, she leaned against his chest, ready for the kiss, when her radio on the nightstand crackled and the blurry outside quickly turned back to black dots against blue and black sky.

“So much for a little peace and quiet,” she muttered, stretching out her hand to reach for her radio. They were close to Pegasus now. There wouldn’t be a whole lot of time for things like this in the near future. Grinning, she kissed Torren, then slipped the small radio button into her ear. “This is Lorne.”

_“Lorne!” Sheppard shouted, once the rear hatch of the Jumper opened. “Lorne, you okay?”_

_Evan was still clutching Grace to his chest and he could feel how tense Alex was. They’d only just managed to get onboard, before the_ Daedalus _made the jump to hyperspace. They had been the last people to get onboard._

 _“Yeah, we are,” Evan breathed, unsure whether to ask how many people had made it onboard and dreading to ask_ who _hadn’t._

_“Do you need the infirmary?”_

_Alex shook her head, and though her arms must be heavy by now, she gestured for Evan to hand over Grace as well. There was no chance she’d let the Sergeant standing next to Sheppard and approaching them quickly, take one of her children away. Not even for a second. “We’re okay,” she said wearily, repeating what he’d already said. “Is there a place I can take them?” she asked and Sheppard looked at her sceptically, until his eyes fell on Grace, whose head was nestled against her mother’s neck already. He was longing to hold her, but there was just no time._

_“Sergeant, take the Doctor and the kids to Colonel Lorne’s quarters.”_

_The middle-aged woman nodded. “Yes, Sir.”_

_“I’ll see you later,” Evan said, but Alex didn’t look at him as she followed the Marine towards the door, past the three or so Jumpers taking up the room between the 302’s._

_“You guys got here just in time,” Sheppard said and Evan’s face snapped towards him. “Mind you,_ we _only just made it. Woolsey was furious. He meant to go down with the city.”_

_“How bad is it?” Evan asked tentatively as Sheppard pointed him to the second door, the one leading towards the lift that would take them to the bridge fastest. Out of the corner of his eye he spotted Fisherman standing there in a tight embrace with Chuck. Keller was tending to Murdoch and Beckett was sitting on one of the other Jumpers’ ramps, holding his head and waving off Amanda. That must mean Jonas and his kid made it here, too. Well, that was something. He hoped._

_“Bad.” Sheppard grimaced as he called for the lift. “The jamming was particularly effective in the places where many people were at the time. We barely got anyone out. The Daedalus could only get a lock on those with a beacon transplant.” And that meant that even more people were left out. Those transplants weren’t cheap and were only given to members of the expedition who were on a regular team. “A couple made it to the Jumper Bay.”_

_“Teyla and Torren?”_

_Sheppard nodded grimly. “Ronon isn’t here, though._ Daedalus _picked up an energy spike that would suggest the Gate was opened just before the jamming started.”_

 _With a sigh, Evan brushed through his hair as they stepped onto the lift. The self-destruct hadn’t gone off._ Daedalus _was fleeing._

_The situation must be bad if they were neither willing to fight, nor to stand with their people. “How many?”_

_“Four hundred,” Sheppard said. “And that’s including the people who’re part of the_ Daedalus’ _crew.”_

_Evan felt sick to the pit of his stomach as the doors slid open again. This battle cruiser rarely came here with the full contingent of personnel, meaning two hundred and twenty airmen. He remembered that he’d been meaning to go over the numbers that morning, but he’d been too worried about Grace._

_“Two hundred people made it back,” Sheppard said. “That’s what the earliest head count would suggest, but it’s only been twenty minutes, so who knows. It was complete chaos.” He bit his lip. Two hundred. That wasn’t even close to half the members of their expedition._

_“I didn’t find anyone else in the area,” Evan said, folding his hands behind his back, urging his body to stand upright. “I-“_

_“Not your fault,” Sheppard cut across him, frowning angrily at the closed doors. “A couple more people made it to the secondary Jumper Bay on the West Pier. And Woolsey’s trying to get Caldwell to stop by New Athos on the way to Earth.”_

_“Back to Earth?” Evan asked incredulously._

_“Yeah… Caldwell thinks we don’t have enough naquadah to afford a stop with the ship bursting at the seams like this.”_

_“Seriously?”_

_“Seriously,” Sheppard nodded grimly as they stepped out into the corridor and pushed their way past the ten or so airmen stationed outside the corridor._

_“We have the juice!” McKay sounded more than annoyed. His voice had gone all shrill and the tempo if his words had picked up. Woolsey was standing next to him, traces of blood on his temple, but the wound had stopped bleeding already. “We can easily divert and check up on-“_

_“Maybe.” Caldwell interrupted him and as Evan and Sheppard stepped onto the bridge and Evan wasn’t at all surprised that McKay’s head was as red as a lobster. He felt about ready to disagree with Caldwell himself, when the other Colonel turned towards him and Sheppard and nodded. “Glad you could join us, Lorne.”_

_“Colonel,” Evan said with a curt nod, ignoring Caldwell’s cool tone. “I was a bit stuck down there.” There were about thirty people, technicians and other crew members, up here working on consoles and patching up split cables. This ship had really taken a hit. Marks was running a diagnostic and there were beads of sweat on his brow._

_Caldwell just raised his eyebrows._

_“I agree with Doctor McKay,” Woolsey said, his calm voice carrying easily through the room, and Caldwell’s head snapped around. “We have to try and get our people before we head back.”_

_“This ship is under my command, Mr Woolsey,” Caldwell said, shaking his head, “and I have my orders.”_

_“Orders?” Sheppard sounded incredulous. “This situation was actually anticipated?”_

_Caldwell sighed, pinched the bridge of his nose and nodded. “Months ago. Can we discuss this later? I need to take care of my ship.”_

“Where are we?” Evan asked just as Grace walked through the door onto the bridge. Carter was sitting in her command chair. His eyes flickered to her for just a moment and by the looks of it, he’d just arrived here himself. He looked up at the ceiling, where the voice recorder was located. They had to be careful what they said up here, because there was surely going to be an investigation and Grace had no idea what could possibly have driven her father and Carter to this. They were both jeopardizing their careers.

“One day’s journey away from the Pegasus Galaxy,” Carter said grimly, tapping her chin. She stood up. “Lieutenant, did you check the systems?”

“Yes, Ma’am,” Grace said, reaching into her pocket and withdrawing the scorched crystal. “Looks like a manufacturing problem. I’ve never seen anything like this.” The truth was, she had. When she’d made the first crystal in a trial run to check how long it would take for this one faulty crystal to be burn out. The timing had to be exact, after all.

Carter approached her and Grace handed the crystal over without hesitation. A brief smile flickered over Carter’s face. “General,” she said, turning to Evan, “I suggest we divert to a destination close-by to check all our systems.”

Evan hesitated for a moment, then he nodded. “What planet’s close-by, Fisherman?” he asked, turning to look at the Major.

Fisherman frowned, as she looked at the data scrolling before her. She was a rather petite woman, dark-skinned and a couple of years older than Grace. Evan had told Grace that she was the adopted daughter of two other former expedition members. If someone from the IOA had properly looked at the manifest, they would have known he and Carter were up to something, but apparently, they’d been lucky. “Two days from New Athos, Sir,” Fisherman said, her eyes trained on the screen.

Grace watched her father nod at Carter and smile faintly at her. Not triumphant, but there was a sadness and determination in his eyes she’d rarely ever seen her. Not in that mix. “Set the course, Colonel.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the updates aren’t as frequent as they used to be, but at least there’s about a chapter a week. Is that still ok? I can’t work any faster…. Anyway, let me know if you’re still reading this thing. Would be nice to know there are still people out there who care 😉  
> Take care, everybody! I hope you enjoyed this chapter of parallels.


	26. Chapter 26

** Chapter 26 **

_2034_

“Seen Torren and Grace together recently?” Evan asked after the door slid shut behind him.

Alex looked up from the book in her lap, cocked her head and watched him take off his shirt. His skin was still glistening with sweat. How long had he been at the gym? About an hour?

“Alex?”

“Yep, I have. She hasn’t talked to me about it, though. Do you think she ever will?”

“Probably not. I mean, it’s not like he hasn’t been in our lives before they hit it off.”

“It’s not like this thing hasn’t been going on for years,” she added.

In response he grinned at her over his shoulder and threw the shirt into the laundry basket. “So, we’re just gonna pretend she’s already told us about this and freak her out?”

“Sounds like a plan,” Alex said, nodding and looking down at her book again. “Would it speed things up with Lucas if we pretended, he and Caleb are a couple?”

“Only if you want Caleb to hate us forever.”

Alex nodded again. “Fair point.” She wasn’t sure how she felt discussing their childrens’ love lives like this, but it wasn’t as though either Caleb or Grace were particularly subtle. Both of them had come to her or Evan during their first big crushes when they were still in high school, they’d never discouraged talk like this, but of course she could see that things between Grace and Torren, and between Caleb and Lucas were difficult. In each case there was a lot at stake, and the impact these relationships could have on various careers didn’t even add in to these complications. In a way, she and Evan had been lucky to be stranded off-world for over half a year. After that nobody had even dared question their relationship and professionalism.

“I’m gonna take a shower,” he said, already inside the small bathroom. “We’ll be in Pegasus in about an hour, if Fisherman is to be believed.”

“Can’t believe you got so many children of former expedition members to sign up.” Alex closed her book again and leaned against the headboard. He still had the door open and she watched on as he worked on the cord holding up his pants.

“Wasn’t just me,” Evan said, turning around to face her and leaning in the doorway. “Mitchell and Sam worked on getting them to sign up as well. It’s not just our kids who deserve a chance to find out where their story started.” He rubbed the back of his head and smiled softly at her. That same smile which forced her to return it. She crossed her legs.

“Massive unofficial reunion.”

“That’s the idea,” he said with a slight smile. Then he looked at his watch. “I should get in the shower.” He stretched out his hand towards her, an inviting smile on his lips. “Care to join me?”

Lucas tapped his nose, thinking hard. He did that a lot, Caleb had noticed over the course of the past few weeks. “I have wool and I’m gonna need bricks. Josh?”

“Not gonna trade with you, pal,” Josh said. He had his arms folded on the table and wasn’t even looking at Lucas anymore. They were both tied for the win and Caleb couldn’t for the life of him figure out a way to beat them both. He didn’t win often when they played _Settlers of Catan_ , but he still liked playing. Especially, he had to admit, because Lucas was there as well. He didn’t care much for board games otherwise.

“Caleb?” Lucas was gazing at _him_ now, Caleb could feel his eyes resting on him. Those gorgeous deep blue eyes.

“Don’t have any wool.”

“Sure?” There was that grin again. That grin which easily managed to transform his stomach into a labyrinth of gooey, hot knots.

Caleb sighed and shook his head. “Not for you.”

Grace approached their table, a mug of hot steaming tea in her hand. Wasn’t she supposed to be on duty? She looked at the game set-up, then at each one of them. She’d spent the better part of the last few days in engineering, trying to keep the ship running. They could only travel short distances through hyperspace at the moment, since one of the key components they needed to keep travelling constantly at the pace they needed was broken. Or so they said. “Are you guys ever gonna stop?” she asked, raising her eyebrow.

But Lucas ignored her. He leaned closer, an unmistakable glinting in his eyes. “Would you be willing to trade for something that's not part of the game, Caleb?”

Josh groaned again, threw his cards down on the table and got up. “Would you two please get a-"

But what exactly it was they were supposed to get, they never found out. At that precise moment, the _Hammond_ dropped out of hyperspace and all their heads turned to the enormous window looking out into space. “That was quicker than I’d have thought.”

“Are we early?” Caleb asked and Grace quickly set down her mug, reached into her pocket and slammed a clear, square crystal in front of Caleb. She exchanged a curt nod with Lucas, who was already on his feet. Without another word they hurried off down the corridor.

_Alex was the last one of Murdoch’s team to come through the Gate and climb up the stairs. She shot him a look and forced a smile. Evan was standing next to Chuck, waiting for something to happen that never did. Except now it had, and seeing her this exhausted, made him wish for the more boring life up here. He nodded once, relief flooding him as it always did to see her return safely through the Gate. Especially since that wasn’t exactly a given anymore._

_Woolsey was waiting by the door to let Alex, Murdoch and Fisherman pass. De Clare had already been pushed into the transporter. He was awake, but badly wounded. Seeing him stare up at the ceiling, his leg bloody, made Evan feel queasy._

_This could easily have been Alex._

_And by the way Chuck was looking at the door, which now slid shut behind Woolsey, he could tell that he was thinking about his husband as well._

_“This happens more often than I’d like,” Chuck said and Evan nodded. “Every fourth team returns with a casualty or someone wounded.”_

_He wasn’t wrong. Only last week Teyla had been hit by one of those new weapons, energy bolts which tore through skin and flesh like arrows. Some chemical had to be involved, Keller had said, but up until now that chemical hadn’t been identified. “What’s the point, though?” Evan said quietly, pulling up a chair to sit next to Chuck. All this time they spent up here together had given them ample opportunity to become more than just a bit familiar with one another. “They ambush our teams, but never show their faces. We don’t even know who’s attacking us.”_

_Chuck shrugged. “Whoever this is, whatever they want, they’re obviously stealthy enough to sneak up on Ronon.”_

_“Scary thought,” Evan said quietly, reaching for his tablet and jotting down a quick note on his to do list._ Sheppard: Ask for extra contingent of Marines to be added to off-world teams. _The question was whether or not they’d get that extra contingent. In the past year the Stargate Program’s budget had been cut and so far they’d only gotten new scientists here on Atlantis. Not that that was a bad thing, but scientists didn’t necessarily make good soldiers._

_“I’m gonna get some coffee,” Chuck said with a look over his shoulder to make sure that there were enough people present to manage the Gate for the five or so minutes he’d be gone. “Does anyone else want something?”_

_“Coffee sounds good,” Evan said, switching to the word processing program to type up his next report. “Thanks.”_

_When Chuck left, Evan looked up again. The conference room’s doors were still shut. What would Alex tell him when she got out? What had happened this time?_

“Is that…” Evan broke off, squinting at the viewscreen. They had dropped out of hyperspace ten minutes too early.

“Hive ship, Sir, yes.” Fisherman pulled up a larger image on his holo screen to compare the enormous vessel up ahead with the specs in the _Hammond’s_ records. “We shouldn’t have dropped out yet. But there’s a strong magnetic field emanating from-“

“Shields!” Carter said without needing to shout, easily interrupting Fisherman. Out of the corner of his eye Evan had seen Fisherman hitting the right button the moment they’d identified the ship.

“Energy build-up within the ship, Ma’am,” Major Chung said and Evan had to remind himself to take a step back. This wasn’t his ship. He might be Carter’s commanding officer, but this was her command. Her crew. Alex was standing right behind him. He felt her stiffen and he reached for her arm to give it a gentle squeeze. She wasn’t supposed to be here. Not with an imminent battle. But he wouldn’t send her away. They were in trouble and if all things went to hell, he wanted to be with her. Especially if he couldn’t be with his children as well.

“Prepare for impact.” Carter sat down in the commander’s chair. “How long to plan the next jump?”

“The circuits would overload, Ma’am,” Fisherman said. “We’ll need at least another ten minutes for the next safe jump.”

Carter nodded and looked up at Evan. “Looks like we’ll see how good our idea was, General.”

Evan turned his attention back to the view screen. It’d been over twenty years. The Wraith hadn’t returned to hibernation. They had no idea what they were up against here and they’d willingly crippled their ship. He could only hope Grace still had the replacement crystal. But right now it wouldn’t be safe to install it. Right now they needed to stay and fight.

“Send the pilots to the F-305’s”, Carter said calmly and one of the airmen typed the order into her console.

“But if we jump-“ Alex began but Evan interrupted her with one single look.

“They’ll be fine. They’ve been equipped with small hyperspace generators. Won’t be a problem.”

He could see that she was still tense, probably even more so than he was. No small wonder there. Alex had never seen Grace fly. And Grace was one of the pilots who would be deployed. She and her team would be in those fighters along with a few other constant members of Carter’s crew. “She’ll be okay,” he whispered, returning his attention to the viewscreen, just as the Hive fired its first shot.

It didn’t hit them, just grazed the shield, but it was enough to make the ground shake beneath them.

“Shields down by ten percent,” Fisherman said, making Evan’s heart drop. Ten percent with one failed hit? This was going to be bad.

“Try hailing them!” Evan said and Carter’s head snapped around to him. “They have no idea what happened to us. We don’t know what’s going on here and-“

“I get it,” Carter said, turning to Chung. “Go ahead. All frequencies.”

“They’re launching Darts,” Fisherman’s voice was strained.

Chung was working feverishly on her console, her fingers flying over the keyboard. “Sending a request for parlay. Not sure we can get through though. There’s some massive interference.”

_“He had you in there for quite a while.” Evan sounded as concerned as she felt._

_He’d only just returned from his shift and Caleb was pretending to read to his sister on the couch, making up nonsense words and pointing at pictures, while Grace was already fast asleep, her thumb between her pouting lips._

_“This was the fifth ambush out of ten missions for us. De Clare is still with Doctor Keller…. Not a great mission.”_

_She could see him starting to say something, then pause and shake his head._

_“What?”_

_He sat down at the small table in their apartment and reached for her hands. “Never mind.”_

_“No. What is it?” She could already guess what he was trying to say. But he wouldn’t._

_He bit his lip and shook his head again. “Sorry.”_

_“You wanted to say I should think about leaving Oliver’s team?”_

_Evan’s eye flickered up to hers. “Yes, it’s what I wanted to say, but, no, you shouldn’t. I’m sorry I even thought about it.”_

_Alex nodded once and turned to look at Caleb and Grace again. Caleb had given up on reading to Grace, scooted away from her and stood up. Looking at Evan, he slowly made his way over to them. “Daddy, let’s draw!” He raised his hand and patted Evan’s leg._

_“In a minute, okay?” Evan picked him up and put him on his knee, but Caleb started squirming immediately. He sighed and looked at Alex with a crooked grin. “You really shouldn’t. Either you or me are always here and whatever happens…”_

_They’d talked about this a hundred times. A thousand times. And he wouldn’t hear of her quitting her position on Oliver’s team. But she was the only one who could quit and remain on Atlantis. If Evan decided to quit, he’d have to resign his commission along with it and that was out of the question. At least for now. Maybe in a few years, when Caleb and Grace were too old to forget about Atlantis and too young to keep secrets, they’d rethink this arrangement, but for now this was where they were supposed to be. Working on what was important, not just to them, but for Earth._

_“Daddy!”_

_“Yeah, yeah, let’s go.” Evan shook his head, put Caleb down again and as he got up, he fixed Alex again. “Don’t even think about it. I know you can handle yourself and I know-“_

_“I know, you know,” Alex interrupted him. “And you know, I know. So let’s stop talking about it, okay? The chances of one of us going missing or getting stuck won’t go away. Being here is dangerous. Being on Earth can be dangerous. We-“_

_“Mommy, stop!” Caleb said, his voice slowly but surely starting to turn into a wail. “Draw!”_

_“No, not like that,” Evan said, kneeling down so he was closer to his son’s face. All sympathy was gone from his face and Alex got the feeling she’d seen that face before. When she’d been new to the SGC and he’d trained her. Trying to hold back his emotions when all he wanted to do was hug his son. “Be nice. That wasn’t nice.”_

_Caleb pursed his lips, tears shooting into his eyes, but Evan wouldn’t budge. “But-“_

_“No, you heard me. You don’t interrupt me or your mommy.”_

_With a short sniffle, Caleb rubbed his eyes with his pudgy hand and looked at his feet. “But-“_

_“Caleb…”_

_“Dad…”_

_Evan sighed and put his hands on Caleb’s narrow shoulders. “Just wait a few more minutes okay? I’m not angry, I promise.”_

_Caleb sniffled again, but he couldn’t stop the thin trickle of snot running down from his nose._

_“Why don’t you go into your room and get the crayons and paper ready.”_

_That was all it took. A thin smile spread over Caleb’s face and he hurried, more stumbling than running, past his little sister into the bedroom he shared with her. Evan turned his head to look up at her a frown on his face._

_“Go,” Alex said, crossing her arms over her chest. “We can talk after dinner.”_

_She’d tell him then. If he and Sheppard wouldn’t be called in before that._

_About the fact that both she and Oliver had caught a glimpse of their attacker. About the fact that Fisherman had been the one to fire the shot that killed another one of them._

_A Furling, who had died on the spot._

She’d never fought a battle in space.

Not once.

She knew the layout of the instruments before her like the back of her hand, knew exactly which manoeuvres she needed to perform and when. What she hadn’t expected was the tight knot in her stomach she felt as the thin spaceship ahead of her fired its first blast, forcing her to evade.

It was one thing to learn in a simulated environment. It was one thing to practice with your comrades. It was one thing to fly over a landscape and release a bomb.

It was different from all of these things. This was the first time she’d ever been in a dogfight and as she pulled her fighter to the right, and she saw the flash of white light as the Dart she’d hit exploded, she felt a sense of triumph mixed with panic. This was what it was like then, she thought, urging her fighter back on course to assist Lucas, who was being chased by two more Darts. This was what she’d trained for.

The voices of the other pilots were constant reassurance that everyone was alright. That they hadn’t lost anyone. Yet.

“Good shot, Princess,” came Ferretti’s voice through the radio and for a brief moment Grace grit her teeth. She’d hated her callsign from the moment it’d been assigned to her after it’d become more or less public knowledge her father supervised the training for Special Forces aimed to go to a top-secret program. But she wasn’t fool enough to complain about it too loudly. Especially not, when her sensors picked up another Dart on her own tail.

“Granny, would you mind taking care of this?” she barked into her radio, focusing all her energy to staying on target.

“Sure thing, Princess.” Ferretti was smiling, Grace could hear it in her voice.

The Dart disappeared in a fiery blaze just as Grace fired her missiles, destroying both of the Darts hunting Lucas. “You’re welcome, Frodo.”

“Yeah, yeah, thanks.”

“The Hive’s stopped firing!” Miller. “Darts are returning to their hangar.”

“Do we follow them?” Lucas asked.

“All pilots, this is Carter.” Of course the Colonel would address them now. “Return to the _Hammond_ immediately.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seems like I can only write one chapter per week at the moment. As the holidays here have started, I’m hoping to write more.
> 
> Thank you for the lovely comments after last chapter! They’ve really given me a boost!
> 
> Can I say something?
> 
> Today is the one-year anniversary of me publishing the first chapter of “Between the Lines” and I remember the excitement of starting to write this story. It was my first ever Stargate fanfiction, even though this was the first show I’ve ever been obsessed with. I was really nervous about writing and publishing it, especially since I was terrified of getting things wrong. I know I have gotten things wrong, but you’ve been very forgiving. I was also really nervous about writing about a hetero couple, after only writing Poe/Finn for years and years. It felt weird at the beginning, but I got there eventually. I hope. Thanks for sticking with me through this experience and for helping me become more confident.
> 
> “Between the Lines” and “Interrupted” helped me get through the last, horrible stage of teacher training (here in Germany that stuff’s a bitch). I was a wreck when I started writing, and writing helped me pull through. “Interrupted” and “Children of the Ancients” are helping me through my first few months of being a proper teacher. I really needed (and still do) the chance of escaping to my desk to vanish in a different world. I guess you all know that feeling?
> 
> And last, but not least, let me give you some statistics. I’ll give you the full thing when it’s over. It’s not even the latest numbers, since I only started jotting them down this morning and I’ve written a bit since:
> 
> 27th June ’19- 27th June ‘20
> 
> Loyalties series (so far)
> 
> Words: 394 707
> 
> Pages: 1008 (MS Word)
> 
> Chapters: 149
> 
> Stories: 3 Between the Lines
> 
> Interrupted
> 
> Children of the Ancients
> 
> Comments: 270 (on both AO3 and FF.Net)
> 
> Incredible experiences (excerpt):
> 
> Making new friends  
> Printing a copy of BtL as a paperback  
> Another writer asking permission to use Alex, Evan and Nora in their beautiful story (check out “Language of Love” by Tanista on AO3)  
> Losing track of the fact that Alex hates chocolate  
> Losing track of about a billion other ideas that I forgot to write down in my messy notebook  
> Filling a notebook  
> Starting a new notebook  
> Writing in a cloister  
> Realizing that the story has more words than the Lord of the Rings trilogy (303 500) already  
> Adding a spin-off (“Three Weeks on the Daedalus”), totalling:
> 
> Words: 399 506
> 
> Pages: 1021
> 
> Chapters: 154
> 
> Comments: 270
> 
> Stories: 4
> 
> Let’s keep this thing going! Thanks for your patience and see you soon!


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize in advance for the fact that half of this chapter is a flashback 😉

_2034_

“What’s going on?” Grace asked, taking off her flight helmet the moment she got out of the cockpit. Miller was already talking to Ferretti.

Miller turned to her, her dark eyes troubled. “We’re landing.”

“On that planet?!” One of the other pilots asked. Grace couldn’t remember his name, but she appreciated the incredulity with which he stared at Miller. The insignia on his chest told her, he was a Major as well.

“On that planet, Nelson.” Miller nodded and started pushing her way towards the exit.

“They’re not serious, are they?” Lucas approached her, his eyes trained on Miller’s retreating back. “I mean…” he trailed off, shaking his head. “You know?”

“Yeah,” Grace said. The thing was, though, this decision wasn’t up to either one of them.

_“Mitchell?”_

_He was sitting at his desk, frowning at a peace of paper and still doing so when Alex entered the room. “Hey.” He still didn’t look up. For a moment there he kept staring, his hand buried in his white hair._

_“Sorry, the door was open, so I thought…”_

_Mitchell looked up. “Yes. No, you’re right, sorry.” He leaned back and wiped his hand over his face. “I’m never going to get used to this bureaucracy thing.” Shaking his head, he got up from his chair and picked up his jacket._

_“To be honest, I’m surprised you got paper there.”_

_He grunted as she drew nearer, his hand hovering over the document. It had the Pentagon’s seal in the top right-hand corner and she saw the headline for just a brief moment, before he picked it up again and shoved it in the top-most drawer of his desk._

_“Seen it?” he asked._

_Alex looked up. At that face she’d grown accustomed to over the years. She trusted him, not only since she’d been stranded on that planet in Pegasus with his team and Evan. He exuded confidence in a way many pilots did. She nodded and said with a tone of non-chalance: “Seen what?”_

_The words still seemed to burn on her retinas though._ Request to re-launch Pegasus Project.

_“Confidential stuff still gets printed out and handed to you by guy who swallowed a stick.”_

_“Ah.” Alex said. “I’ll make a note of it and tell my son next time I see him.”_

_“Oh?” Mitchell asked, shrugging into his jacket._

_“Caleb is incredibly opposed to paper.”_

_“Oh, I see.” Mitchell grinned at her. “We’re getting too old for this stuff.”_

_“And we’re late.”_

_Mitchell nodded and took a look around the room. He’d been in command of the SGC for almost ten years now. Ever since Landry had left and he’d fit in right from the very beginning. “That’s why you came over? To make sure I leave on time?”_

_With a shrug, Alex held open the door for him. “As I recall, you were late to your own wedding, Cameron, so you’ll forgive me.”_

_“He forgave me. Eventually.”_

_“Well, I agree, he got married to you. That’s not nothing.”_

_Smirking, Mitchell followed her out of the room. Mitchell’s husband Oscar, a teacher at an elementary school in Colorado Springs, had been a few years older than Mitchell and had died three years ago. Talking about him didn’t seem to bother Mitchell though. On the contrary, it seemed to calm him like little else could._

_“I suppose Jackson’s already at your house?”_

_“He and Vala should be there by now,” Alex said as she watched Mitchell close the door behind himself and locking it. Grace was off-world. She’d joined the SGC a few weeks ago and she and her team had left for a three-day mission to some far-away planet. She and Caleb had both been home for Christmas, but neither one of them had spent New Year’s with them in ages._

_Mitchell nodded, shrugged into his jacket and together they made their way to the elevator, Mitchell wishing the airman on guard a happy new year. “How’s the research going?”_

_“You know all Daniel and I do these days is fact-checking basically.”_

_“And taking a closer look at these things. You and him certainly have the most experience in that area.” That wasn’t wrong. Almost everyone else who had been there in the first decade of the Stargate Program had already left. Mitchell himself was considered a bit of a fossil among the younger airmen. Well. A fossil and a hero, the same as Evan, whereas Alex and Daniel were more the relic-type these days. But almost everybody at the SGC was first and foremost a member of the US Air Force these days. Things really had changed. “Wouldn’t want it any other way.”_

_“You really should try to get more archaeologists to join the program. You only have three in that department and they can barely keep up with all the artefacts the teams bring back.” Not to mention the damage the off-world teams could cause by not listening to a civilian archaeologist from time to time. Luckily in the past few years no major catastrophe had been caused because of it, but that didn’t mean that threat didn’t exist anymore._

_“I know,” Mitchell sighed. “Not easy getting the funding, though.” He shrugged and pushed the button to the first floor. “Also, it’s kind of hard to get a civilian to sign up for a military program these days. But it’s good the new members of the SGC have to go through you, Jackson and Schäfer now. At least they’re not as blind as most of us other newbies were at first.”_

_“Yes,” Alex said quietly, her gaze trained on the illuminated button in front of her. She shoved her hands into her pockets. “The thing is, though, we won’t be there forever.”_

_“Thinking about retiring?”_

_Alex shrugged. “Caleb will get his Doctorate soon. He’s in the las stages of getting it ready to hand in. I’m pretty sure Evan and I are going to retire some time after that.”_

_“Ah.” Mitchell nodded. “So, he’s following in your footsteps, Grace is following in her dad’s. Almost romantic, isn’t it?”_

_“Oh, shut up, Mitchell.”_

Grace’s face was apprehensive. That was the word he’d use. The moment he stepped into the lift with her, she opened her mouth to say something, but quickly closed it again. This wasn’t the time and place.

“She’s not wrong, you know?” Miller said, her eyes darting between Evan and his daughter. They were on their way to the loading ramp at the very bottom of the _Hammond._ Miller and her team would accompany him onto the surface. And he had to admit, this wasn’t ideal, but it also wasn’t the moment for him to share a father-daughter moment with Grace.

“About what?” Evan asked, closing the zipper of his vest. Miller and her team could have easily gone on this short trip alone, but Evan found it was his duty to go there himself. When their plea for parlay had finally come through, they’d only received landing coordinates. There had been little choice but to comply. Their ship’s systems were down and it would take days for them to get them back into working order.

“If you don’t mind me asking, Sir, why did we land after we were attacked by a hostile Wraith Hive ship?”

“It wasn’t hostile,” Evan said, ignoring Grace’s derisive snort. He’d expected it, but he still felt the urge to tell her off. “Just cautious.” Downplaying this whole thing might not be ideal, but right now that was all he could hope for.

“General?” Lucas asked, cocking his head. “Aren’t we so badly damaged that we can’t even use beaming technology?”

“Yes, we are,” Evan agreed. “But the Wraith agreed to a parlay, and we need time to fix the ship and take a look at the settlement down there.”

“So, there is a settlement?” Grace asked and Evan nodded.

“A fairly huge village and we detected life signs. So… fingers crossed.”

Out of the corner of his eye he could see Grace and Lucas exchange a glance and felt his own stomach tighten.

_Vala had her legs draped over Daniel’s lap. Sometimes Alex envied her natural grace. She knew she’d never have the confidence or the agility to sit like this with Evan. Not with other members, or rather former members, of the military present. Moreover, she doubter her joints would be alright with such a sitting position. No matter how often Evan assured her she was just as fit as always. She knew she wasn’t. Or at least she didn’t feel like she was._

_Alex felt Evan’s hand on the small of her back. “What’re you thinking about?” he asked._

_Daniel patted Vala’s knee and O’Neill got up from his seat to talk to Mitchell who was standing in the corner, sipping his beer._

_“That I’m glad we got Grace’s and Caleb’s rooms ready for unforeseen overnight guests,” Alex said with a small smile._

_Teal’c his face still unchanged, was talking in a low voice to Jonas and Carter. Jonas’ wife Amanda was sleeping soundly on her husbands shoulder. It was already way past midnight, and going by the soft talking going on in their living room, Alex doubted anyone was going to leave here anytime soon. She only wished Oliver and Anna had stayed a bit longer._

_Evan pressed a kiss on her temple._

_“Alex!” Vala shouted, interrupting all the talking and stretching out an arm towards Alex, her wrinkled face flushed and as she held out her hand to her, Daniel wrapped his own arm tightly about his wife to steady her._

_Alex laughed and fell down on the couch next to her. “What’s up?”_

_“Your favourite New Year’s! Tell me.”_

_Teal’c looked at Alex with a raised eyebrow and Amanda stirred in Jonas’ arms. “I did not realize that was a custom.”_

_Alex shook her head and looked over at Evan. If anything, it must be the one they’d spent on Larsa. She’d just accepted that she was pregnant then, and although she’d been terrified, she’d been excited. Excited to be with Evan. To be able to rely on him and to know that he relied on her. But she’d be damned if she ever shared that with anyone but him._

_He was leaning in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest. He frowned slightly and then smiled._

_“Huh, this is going to be personal,” Daniel huffed, a slight heaviness to his pronunciation. He’d never been able to hold too much alcohol._

_“Well, on the first New Year’s Eve we ever spent together, I was stationed in Spangdahlem.” The grin spread a bit wider over his face, making his eyes sparkle somewhat. Alex didn’t particularly like that story. She’d opened the letter with her job offer for New York the next day, disrupting their lives for the foreseeable future. “We went to the party at the air base together and there-“ he paused, and Alex remembered the instant he’d been pulled away from her to discuss Javier. But he didn’t mention that. Of course he didn’t. His eyes were still trained on Alex. “Well, I’m not sure if it counts as the best New Year’s I’ve ever had, but it’s certainly been one of the more memorable ones.”_

_“Come to the point, Lorne,” O’Neill said from the corner, making Mitchell nearly choke on his beer._

_“I am, but to be honest, I’m not sure we’d be here today, at least not in this constellation, if it hadn’t been for a meeting between my then-girlfriend and a certain General.”_

_“Who?” Carter asked and Alex could hear the grin in O’Neill’s voice when he said: “Hammond.”_

_“Exactly.” Evan returned the grin._

_“He was stationed in Germany as well in the 90’s.”_

_“And he’d been contacted by General West about this one particular artefact. Guess what: when he found out Alex was an archaeologist, he asked her if she knew anyone who could help with interpreting a couple of hieroglyphs.”_

_“That was you?” Daniel asked, incredulously and Alex found herself smiling when she turned to look at him._

_“Well, I’d only recently read your infamous book and I couldn’t help but think of Doctor Jackson.” Daniel had been the best in the game at that point. “You were good, even if I didn’t exactly… well…”_

_“I know, I know.” Daniel rolled his eyes, clearly remembering the way he’d been scorned for his theories back in the day. By now he was all but forgotten by the archaeological community. As was she. But she doubted either he, or her cared too much about it. The trace of a grin on his lips told her he wasn’t angry, though. Not anymore._

_Vala looked at Daniel, a certain warmth in her eyes that was only there when she talked to him. “So General Hammond told West and that’s how you joined the Stargate Program.”_

_“That’s how any one of us ended up here. Well, maybe apart from Vala and Cam.” Carter grinned and then got to her feet, her drink still in hand. “General Hammond.” She raised her bottle and everyone, stood as well._

_Jonas carefully laid Amanda down on the couch and as he stood opposite Alex, his own glass raised as well, he managed one of his old smiles. One of those meant to show confidence when he was really unsure of himself. How could that still be possible?_

_If it hadn’t been for Hammond letting him through the Gate all those years ago, he wouldn’t have found a place here on Earth. If Hammond hadn’t put his trust in Teal’c, the Jaffa rebellion might not have happened and Teal’c might be long gone. Daniel, Mitchell, O’Neill, Carter and Vala were here because Hammond had helped establish the SGC as a place where teams would always stick together._

_Hammond had let Alex join the SGC despite the history she shared with one of his officers. He’d mobilized every resource he could to bring back their daughter. They owed him a lot. And Evan was right. None of them would be here if it hadn’t been for General George Hammond._

_“General Hammond.” They chorused, drinking to the memory of the man who’d built and shaped the SGC more than anyone else._

_As Alex swallowed, she closed her eyes, thinking about all the people who weren’t here. Those who had moved away from Colorado Springs years ago. Team mates she’d lost. Friends she’d never see again. There were too many to name, yet their faces flashed before her eyes and there was a soft ache in her chest. A throbbing pain. Almost intangible, but there nonetheless._

_She felt Evan’s arm sneak around her waist and she looked up to see him looking at her, his expression serious. She nodded once and the soft talking resumed._

_Alex looked over her shoulder at Mitchell, the current leader of Stargate Command. He’d try to get the Pegasus Project relaunched, she knew he would._

_Mitchell winked at her, then resumed talking to O’Neill._

_If he succeeded to even launch an expedition to Pegasus, she knew neither one of their old comrades would go. Neither she, nor Evan would see that galaxy again._

_“What is it?” Evan whispered in her ear and she gently patted his chest._

_“Nothing.” At least this was nothing she wanted to tell him right now._

Every planet smelled different. It was hard to pinpoint every single scent in the blend, but once you took your first lungful of another planet’s oxygen mix, you knew you were in a different place, no matter how much like Canada or Nevada your surroundings looked.

And this planet smelled familiar. Evan recognized it the moment the ramp was lowered and he and Miller’s team started walking down it. There was that certain earthiness and fresh herbs smell which was so typical for New Athos, and Evan doubted that smell had not been involved when Teyla and her people chose a new homeworld. Somehow he thought that their original planet had smelled very much like this one.

The Wraith scout ship had already landed and from where they were standing, Evan could make out three figures, two massive ones and a third, slightly slimmer one. Behind him, he could hear Grace take a deep breath, reminding him that right now keeping her and her team as safe as possible was his top priority. “Here we go,” he said quietly, relishing in the sound of grass beneath his boots as he stepped from the ramp. It’d been weeks since he’d been outside, and sometimes the simplest sensations were easy to forget.

“Do you know one of them?” Lucas asked quietly and quickly added: “Sir?”

Evan didn’t answer. The figures were still too far away to make out, but he got the sense that only one of them was Wraith, given the greyish green skin tone of the person standing in the middle. And then the faces came into focus, but before he could speak, the Wraith’s chilling voice reached out to him:

“The years have not been kind to you, Major Lorne!”

Oh boy, did he wish Sheppard were here for a heart-felt reply. “Thanks, Todd,” he shot back, picking up the pace to reach the delegation. “Ronon!” he exclaimed, relieved to see the former ally standing tall and burly as ever, his now grey hair cropped short. And then there was Halling, also much older than Evan remembered, but it was him. Undoubtedly. “Halling,” he said, smiling and Halling nodded, his eyes wide in disbelief.

“Lorne,” Ronon answered, stretching out his hand to greet him.

Evan took it without hesitating, Miller’s team right behind him, and when they clasped hands, Ronon pulled him towards him, as though ready to embrace him. His breath caught in his chest as Ronon whirled him around, pressed his arm over his throat and Evan felt the cold metal of a weapon against his temple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now I’m apologizing for the cliffhanger. Oops!


	28. Chapter 28

** Chapter 28 **

_2034_

She was frozen. Rooted to the spot, unable to do anything but stare into her father’s eyes as Lucas, Miller and Ferretti simultaneously raised their weapons.

An almost pitiful sound made its way up Evan’s throat, deep and yet whimpering at the same time as the powerful arms threatened to cut-off his oxygen supply. Her stomach lurched and she slowly raised her own weapon, aiming for the other man’s head. Her father had called him Ronon. He was supposed to be a friend.

“Who are you?” Ronon hissed and only now did Grace realize that Ferretti wasn’t looking at him, but at the Wraith. Todd. Grace knew who he must be, of course. Knew he must be the Wraith they had fought alongside of several times.

“Let go of the General first,” Miller said calmly.

“General, huh?” Ronon almost laughed and Evan closed his eyes in pain.

It took all Grace had not to pull the trigger there and then.

“They are not Replicators,” the Wraith hissed. “I would sense it if they were.”

With a low grunt deep in his throat, Ronon dropped Evan, who gasped for breath, doubled over. No longer hesitating, Grace rushed forward and put her hands on his shoulders, certain that her team would cover her. Determinedly, she pulled her father away from the three people.

Evan patted her hand and slowly stood up again, still rubbing his throat. “Should’ve remembered you were always the suspicious type,” he said, his voice raspy.

“What are you doing here?” the other man asked, while Evan and Ronon kept staring daggers at each other. Grace had no idea who the other two were, but as she looked into those hazel eyes of the man who’d held her father in a headlock, she recognized him from the old mission files. There had been a few photos in them. The unmistakeable stare, the very same he was wearing now, had been present in almost all of them. Determined and, above all, distanced from the people surrounding him. But there had been other photos as well. Pictures her mother had shown her. Private pictures of this man and other members of the expedition. Pictures in which he was smiling, laughing even, as he was sitting around a table with John, Teyla and her father.

That time was long gone.

All that seemed to remain was this version of Ronon Dex. A seasones warrior who had lost his home and several years of his life to the Wraith. A man who had joined the expedition in their second year and who had helped them fight the Wraith, the Replicators, Ba’al and the Furlings. She’d been impressed by his commitment, just as she’d been impressed when she found out what Teyla had done for them all, but to see him stare down at her father, made Grace want to punch him in the face.

“Major?”

Evan visibly pulled himself together and he looked at the other man. “It’s General,” he said forcibly calm. “And it’s taken us forever to get back here. Our government didn’t want us to return here.”

“So you figured we’d still need you? That we’d just sit here and wait for you to come back?” Ronon’s voice was barely more than a whisper and it made the hair on Grace’s neck stand on end. “General?”

“Do we have to discuss this right now? Right here? Carter and I violated several rules just to come here. You have no idea what’s been going on.”

“No,” Ronon hissed. “You don’t either. Where’s Sheppard?”

“He’s back home,” Evan answered, that forced calm still in his voice, as he kept staring at Ronon. “He couldn’t come.” It took him a lot of effort to turn his head and look at the other man. What had he called him? Halling? “Neither could Teyla. But if we do this right, they might be able to come back. Please, just let us talk this through.”

The Wraith snorted derisively. “I do not see you have any other choice but to stay here under my Hive’s protection anyway.”

“Protection?” Miller burst out. “You attacked and-“

“Major!” Evan shot her a look over his shoulder and Miller straightened her shoulders but kept her mouth shut. “Like I said, let’s talk this through.”

“This feels so weird,” Torren said quietly. His skin looked ashen and his eyes were wide. What the heck was wrong with him? But he didn’t seem sick. Just on edge and nervous. Well, that wasn’t too surprising, Caleb thought. After all, he might meet his father today. If he was still alive. In any case, he was about to meet his mother’s people.

“What exactly?”

Torren swallowed hard and shook his head. “It’s like… a soft humming in my ears, but in here.” He tapped his head and ignored the look Carter gave him. She didn’t offer leaving him aboard this ship.

“It’ll be okay,” she said with a reassuring smile. Whatever the hell that meant.

Torren was walking next to Caleb when Carter led them down the ramp, talking quietly with Alex. Caleb still wasn’t sure he liked seeing his mother in military garb, but, as usual, his opinion didn’t really matter. It couldn’t.

Grace and the rest of her team were waiting at the bottom of the ramp with the delegation from New Athos, and although they were all armed, Caleb couldn’t help but notice that nobody seemed inclined to use their weapons, not even in a defensive position. After the short space battle from before that was quite reassuring. He watched, as his mother and Carter greeted Ronon, the Wraith and the other human, whose eyes lit up when he looked at Torren. His mouth opened as he stared at the other man and he quickly closed it again.

When the greetings were exchanged, they started walking; towards the village, Caleb expected, and he wasn’t at all surprised to see one of the men fall back to talk to Torren. If he was right, and he really thought he did, then that man was one of the Athosians, and the tall, burly man with the long, wavy hair, decidedly not talking to his father and mother, was Ronon.

Caleb caught Josh looking at him and raised his eyebrows in question. “What?” he whispered.

“Weird, huh?” Josh turned to look ahead at the Wraith.

“This whole year has been weird,” Caleb said quietly, although he hadn’t even been with the SGC a year ago. How long had it been? He couldn’t even remember exactly. Travelling with a ship through space for weeks on end was like being stuck in time.

“You are Teyla’s boy, aren’t you?” the man asked, and Caleb watched as Torren nodded, his expression unreadable.

“And you’re Halling,” Torren said. “My mother’s told me a lot about you.”

Halling. What a strange name. Caleb’s brain started rummaging for names or words that sounded familiar, but then he realized that the only connection the cultures of the Milky Way and Pegasus shared were the Ancients. How should he even begin to find the roots of the words from which this name had originated. He’d just have to take these things for face value.

“How is she?” Halling asked. “When you did not return, we feared the worst. There has not been any contact with Earth for decades.”

Torren bit his lip and looked up ahead. “I guess that’s something you’d better discuss with the people in charge. I’m just tagging along for the ride.” He cleared his throat. “And my mom’s alright. How is… is…” he broke off and Caleb caught his eye. He must be thinking of someone else. Of course he would be, with his mother being mentioned. How weird that must feel. To know there was a father out there you’d never even met before. “Well, maybe we should talk about my father later.”

Halling nodded gravely. “Indeed.”

Caleb stared at the ground ahead. Some kind of assortment of coniferous trees had left the ground strewn with pine needles in all shades of brown. The ground itself was soft and he tried focusing on that sensation and not on the weird feeling that Halling wasn’t looking forward to talking about Torren’s father either.

He felt a soft nudge in the side and looked up at Josh, who nodded in the direction of Halling.

“You two must be Josh and Caleb?”

Caleb frowned and nodded. “Yeah?”

“You look like your parents. It is a pleasure to meet you. I am Halling.”

What a strange introduction. Of course the Athosian must know them. Josh and Caleb had spent some time here in this galaxy when they were little, although Josh had been taken back to Earth by his mother long before Atlantis had returned home for the first time in millennia. Caleb nodded. “Hi,” he said. Why was it that only now was he starting to fully grasp what this whole thing meant?! He’d been here before. On this planet. And he didn’t remember a thing! If things hadn’t unfurled the way they had, if the Furlings hadn’t attacked and then conquered Atlantis, this place right here might very well feel like home to him! And how much worse this whole situation must feel to Torren, who most likely still had family here.

What a mess their lives were.

The Athosian village had lost a lot of the Nomadic touch.

Alex looked around curiously when they passed the first buildings and she saw the homes these people had built. Whatever had happened here, they certainly weren’t afraid of having to abandon their homes at a moment’s notice. Most of the dwellings even had two storeys, some sported variations of verandas, making them look like frontier houses. Definitely the touch of survivors from the Atlantis expedition. There were still the symbols she remembered from the Athosians, though. The angular wave design was still used, whittled in the black beams of houses, sometimes inlaid with thin strips of metal. They weren’t just ornaments, but used in remembrance of the Ancients, and to bless the dwellings. Alex remembered that shape from the tent poles the Athosians had used to set up their tents. This new use seemed adequate.

Grace was on her right, Evan, Carter, Todd and Ronon in front of them, as they walked along the wide, well, tended road, heading for the centre of the village.

“So, I take it you and the Wraith struck some sort of alliance?” Evan asked and Todd turned to look at him directly.

“You could say that,” Todd said quietly. “With my Hive at least. There are not too many Wraith left in this galaxy.”

Evan didn’t respond, although the obvious question remained. If the Wraith and the Athosians had formed some kind of Alliance, then what were the Wraith feeding on? Somehow Evan couldn’t quite believe the Athosians and those from Earth who had managed to escape through the Gate with Ronon, had knowingly sold out the rest of the human population in this galaxy. The price was too high, and Ronon had never struck him as the type to give up his fight against the Wraith.

He caught sight of even more people, the closer they got to the centre of the village. Most of them were either younger than himself, or about the same age, but he recognized some of them. Most of them appeared to be former Marines and there were even two Gate technicians. Who else would have been in the Gate Room when the city was attacked? His heart leapt as he spotted Amelia Banks, one of the Gate technicians, standing in the doorway of a fairly big house, which appeared to be some sort of village pub. Ronon approached her and, with a curt nod, held it open for them.

Banks held his gaze for a moment. She, too had gone grey, and she wore her hair short nowadays, but apart from that she hadn’t changed too much. She nodded curtly, then stepped inside ahead of them.

The bar room was big, and apparently it’d already been prepared for this meeting. Tables and chairs had been placed in a circle, but he watched Alex as she took in the wall hangings. He quickly tore himself away from gazing at her. He’d ask her what she was thinking about later on. Right now there were more urgent matters to discuss.

“Please,” Halling said, stepping towards one of the chairs. “Sit. We have a lot to talk about.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A rather short chapter, but I didn't want to put the whole explanation and reunion thing into one chapter. I hope you enjoyed this one!
> 
> See you next week!


	29. Chapter 29

** Chapter 29 **

_2034_

Their children looked uncomfortable.

It wasn’t as though anyone seemed to enjoy sitting in this big room with so many things still unsaid. They were hanging between them, making the air feel it heavy and the silence almost penetrating. What really astounded her was how worried Grace and Caleb looked. Alex couldn’t exactly figure out why that was, and maybe it was just her mind playing tricks on her.

She refused to believe she felt that way because she and Evan had already lost a child to the Stargate Program. They would not lose these two. The thought alone was ridiculous. The Wraith had stopped attacking the moment they realized who they were dealing with and had granted them sanctuary for as long as it would take the engineers to repair their ship. They were in no imminent danger.

She’d taken a seat next to Miller, McKay’s niece. Miller didn’t share any of the smugness or arrogance that her uncle was infamous for. Far from it, she seemed downright calm. Alex swallowed hard, folded her hands on the table and forced herself to look towards the head of the table, where Ronon, the Wraith Todd and Halling were sitting along with Carter and Evan.

“What happened here?” Evan said calmly as soon as everybody had taken a seat and Alex could tell their hosts weren’t too happy about that question.

“What makes you think you have the right to ask first?” Todd hissed, his sharp teeth bared.

“Fine, you wanted to talk to us. So, let’s talk.” Evan leaned back in his chair, seemingly unaware of the dozen or so people looking at them. Alex hadn’t failed to notice they had not posted guards at the entrance. Clearly they were here at the mercy of that Wraith Hive and its leader.

Todd grunted. “You vanished.”

“The city was lost,” Carter said, overriding Evan’s right to speak first. “ _Daedalus_ barely got two hundred people out of there before the Furlings overwhelmed them.”

“I was there,” Ronon said, his voice so low it was barely audible.

“How many people did you get through the Gate?” Alex asked, speaking for the first time and when Ronon turned his attention to her, she felt her insides churn. He was angry. And he had every right to be. She’d known it from the moment Evan told her _Daedalus_ would head home straight away.

“Twenty,” he said. “We gated to an uninhabited planet, then we headed here.”

An uncomfortable silence filled the room, stretching the seconds so they felt like minutes. The Athosians had done what the Tau’ri had been unable to. They had provided these people with shelter. They had taken in not just Ronon, but people from Earth as well. They had taken them in, when they had been deemed acceptable losses by the IOA and the US Air Force. She remembered it like it was yesterday and the moment Ronon locked eyes with her, she felt that pain again. That sensation of being punched in the gut, strengthened by twenty years of denial. They’d failed these people. Why hadn’t they fought harder to get them back? To help? Had Sheppard been right in resigning his commission? Probably. He and Teyla had been the only truly decent people.

Evan cleared his throat, drawing Ronon’s attention to himself but Todd cut across him: “How long will you be staying this time?”

Evan stared at the Wraith for a moment, pausing but seemingly unfazed by the rudeness of the Wraith’s tone and words. “Carter and I risked everything coming here,” he said. “People were killed in the attempt to get us here.” He was looking at Ronon now, who couldn’t know or care about Mitchell and their suspicions. “I am sorry we couldn’t be here sooner. There was nothing we could have done back then.” Ronon snorted derisively and Alex could tell Evan was fed up trying to defend himself. “If you want our help now, while we’re here, let us know. If anyone wants to come back with us, they’re welcome.”

Ronon clenched his hands into fists and he shook his head. But he wasn’t the one who answered. Halling got up from his chair. “Let us take a break,” he said, his voice still easily carrying through the crowded room. “We are all rattled by today’s events.”

“No, let’s fill them in,” Ronon grunted and motioned for Halling to sit down again. “Let’s get this over with.”

_“We’re going to let him go.” It was more an outraged statement, than a disbelieving question. McKay flung himself on one of the chairs in their little conference room and shook his head._

_“Who?” Emma Rogers, one of the expedition’s newer members asked. She was a linguist, and Alex was looking forward to her help with the translations of the steles. Since Daniel couldn’t come along and Jonas was often preoccupied with other research, they’d really been missing linguistic support._

_“Todd,” McKay sighed, wiping his face and picking up the thermos sitting in the centre of the table._

_Emma still looked quizzically at him, but he was too focused pouring himself a large mug of coffee, so, instead, Jonas answered. “The Wraith who helped us occasionally.”_

_“And betrayed us even more often.” Zelenka added and McKay nodded grimly, before passing the thermos on to Zelenka. He’d arrived late to their weekly meeting along with McKay and he looked just as rattled. He passed the thermos on to Jonas._

_“Why?” Jonas asked as he filled his own mug. “Why are we doing such a stupid thing?”_

_“Because the IOA thinks he’s more valuable as an ally,” Zelenka explained and David Parrish of the botany department snorted derisively._

_“Oh, I’m really looking forward to the next big Wraith attack,” Parrish muttered, looking at his tablet. He was a rather quiet person in general, only speaking up when it came to plant life. He’d been assigned to Evan’s team on a few missions now and Alex never got tired of listening to her husband complain about being stuck in a meadow for half an hour just because Parrish was examining some leaves. Really, Evan was far more patient with_ her _field of studies. He rarely complained about Jonas anymore after all._

_She looked down at her own tablet and cleared her throat. “I mean, we can’t change any of that anyway, so why don’t we get started? McKay? Where’s Keller anyway?” She caught Fisherman grinning at her. He was leaning back, twiddling with the black ring on his left finger. He and Chuck and gotten married only a few weeks ago._

_With a low grunt, McKay turned on the projector in the centre of the table. The heads of departments met once a week to update each other on various ongoing research projects and Keller was usually there as well. “She’ll be here,” he said, his cheeks reddening as he looked up at the hologram, where a brand new set of schematics was rotating in front of them. So, as usual, they’d be starting with his project._

_Alex felt Emma shift next to her when Rodney began speaking and next second a message popped up on Alex’s tablet._

Did I miss something?

_It was a message by Emma. With a slight shake of her head, Alex wrote back:_ They’re dating. He’s embarrassed.

_Out of the corner of her eye, she caught Emma grinning, as McKay started on about some kind of new energy source and she couldn’t help but snigger, when Emma’s next message popped up._ Cute.

_Someone kicked her shin and she quickly looked up to see Jonas shaking his head at her. With a shrug, Alex returned to attention to McKay’s lecture. And it looked like this was going to be a long one. She only hoped Evan would pick up Caleb from Teyla’s place when she didn’t get out of this meeting on time._

The sun had set long before the exchange of stories was done. And when everybody got up, Alex still felt rooted to the spot, her eyes trained on Evan as he stood there, talking quietly to Todd, Ronon and Halling. Carter was standing right next to him, her arms crossed over her chest.

Evan and Carter had given a brief report on the politics and wars of the Milky Way galaxy and when they’d come to the part about the Emperor’s death and subsequent peace treaty, Ronon seemed truly interested for the first time since they sat down.

The peace treaty had not mentioned Pegasus or the return of Atlantis, but around the same time the Furlings had relinquished control over roughly half of the Milky Way, the Furlings had become quieter in this galaxy as well.

But not before they nearly extinguished the Genii.

Not before they unleashed a virus into the systems of most Hives, slowly poisoning the Wraith and robbing them of their ability to feed. Only the gene therapy which Keller and Beckett had started and which Todd finally finished working on and perfected, managed to save around twenty percent of the Wraith population. Only one Wraith queen remained, and she had been put into stasis so as to preserve her ability to spawn offspring in the future.

Todd’s description had left Alex feel light-headed. The Furlings had succeeded where the Ancients and humans had failed, but she couldn’t help but feel sick at the mere thought. Yes, the Wraith fed on humans. They conquered worlds and destroyed those who would oppose them. But unlike the Goa’uld or the Furlings, they didn’t have much of a choice. What the Furlings had done had been nothing short of genocide. There was no other way to put it. The Tau’ri’s research, coupled with Michael’s had led to this. They were responsible.

Had someone else, someone who didn’t flinch away from this step, been in charge of the expedition, they might have been even more involved.

Out of necessity, Todd’s Hive had struck a truce with the Athosians, just as other Hives belonging to Todd’s coalition made peace with other humans to rig up a network that could defend and ensure their survival in this galaxy.

And then the unthinkable happened.

The Furlings just vanished.

Several hundred Gates went off-line, although their planets remained inhabited. But with the Gate network down and the Travellers’ and Wraith fleets massively diminished, it was impossible to stay in contact.

What a mess.

Alex blinked and wiped her burning eyes. She was tired. Dead on her feet.

She saw Caleb approaching her. Grace and her team had already left the tavern and Torren had gone off with Halling, undoubtedly to meet his father. But Caleb remained behind while Evan and Carter spoke in low voices with their hosts.

“Are you okay?” He sounded concerned. He hadn’t sounded like that in months.

Nodding, she leaned back and came to her feet. “I think so,” she said. “It was a lot to take in. And there are more people here than any of us could have hoped for.” Swallowing hard, she looked over at Evan again, who nodded briefly in her direction.

“Let’s get some air, okay?” He took her arm, and she was grateful for his strength. Grateful her son didn’t see the impact of what they had done here. Or maybe he did. He looked around cautiously as he pushed open the door and the cool night air hit their faces.

She took a deep breath and looked around. Street lamps had been lit, illuminating the village square with dancing light emanating from the flames. She had no idea which substance the Athosians were using to keep the small fires inside the glass containers going, and she refused to dive into that question. She refuse to let herself be distracted.

“Quite a day, huh?” Caleb asked, pointing towards a bench and Alex sat down gratefully. There were still people about, though whether the young people not in uniform were Athosians or children of Tau’ri as well, Alex couldn’t even begin to fathom. There was a group of teenagers a few feet to their right and when they found Alex looking at them, they quickly disbanded, heading for the street leading away from the village square.

“You could say that,” Alex said. “How do you feel about this?”

Caleb frowned, looking down at his feet and he shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s all surreal. Somehow going off-world in the Milky Way felt more natural. More believable. And that’s weird.”

“Well, we’re far away from home, that’s for sure.”

Caleb grunted and nodded. “And then there’s this lovely atmosphere in there,” he said making Alex smile.

“Yeah, another instant where we screwed up.”

“Yes,” Caleb said, “but Dad’s military. Had he resigned his commission, things would’ve been different. He’s the one who killed that Furling Emperor, right? Who knows-“

“Still. It’s no justification.”

“It also doesn’t help to dwell on what-if’s, right?”

Alex sighed and nodded. “No, you’re right.” It didn’t make that horrible feeling go away and it certainly didn’t help that she knew Evan might face a court-martial when they got back home. But this had been the right thing to do. They all agreed on that at least.

She leaned back and looked up at the clear sky. The stars shone bright here, and even though she knew that a Wraith Hive was looming over them, she didn’t feel scared. There was so much to worry about. About the people of this galaxy who were now stuck on planets that must be part of the Gate Network the Furlings had set up. About the Nox, who had welcomed Grace and her team, but who refused to talk about the Furlings. About Atlantis. About the people stranded here. And for a long time, she’d considered the Athosians her people as well. That had certainly changed.

A low grumbling sound made her turn her head and she saw Caleb smile at her. “Hungry?” she asked and he laughed.

“Let’s head back to the _Daedalus,_ ” he said. “I guess there’ll be plenty of time to explore this settlement and face some more uncomfortable questions tomorrow?”

Alex nodded and got to her feet, thinking how much like his father Caleb really was. The door to their left opened and Evan and Carter stepped outside. “What else did they say?” she asked and Evan shook his head. Clearly he didn’t want to talk here. “Let’s head back to the ship,” he said, almost echoing his son’s words.

They started walking and as soon as they had left the village’s boundaries, Evan’s hand slipped into hers, giving her fingers a light squeeze. Grace’s team was waiting for them, as was Caleb’s. “I’m almost sure,” he whispered, “they didn’t tell us everything.”

“There’s nothing to do but wait until tomorrow,” Carter said, taking a flashlight from her backpack. “I’m just wondering why there weren’t any of the survivors from our expedition present.”

“I’m sure they’re just as angry as Ronon,” Caleb suggested. “Wouldn’t you be?”

Evan squeezed her hand again. They’d been left behind once. And, yes, they’d been angry. But the Air Force had managed to make it up to them. But would _they_ be able to make up for more then twenty years of neglect?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge thank you goes out to [Traveler’s Chick](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TravelersChick/pseuds/TravelersChick) who let me borrow Emma Rogers. Emma is her OC and she’s a wonderful, wonderful character. Thank you for putting your faith in me. Go read her stories, especially [Tempus Fugit](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21402808/chapters/50989435). It’s wonderful and she’s an excellent writer!
> 
> Sorry this chapter took so long. It was really tough to write. Hope you enjoyed it.


	30. Chapter 30

** Chapter 30 **

_2034_

Ferretti’s soft snores didn’t usually keep her awake. Not anymore. Especially not when she’d worked through half the night with the other engineers aboard the _Daedalus._

Tonight was the first time in a while she’d decided to sleep in her own quarters. She hadn’t seen Torren since they had left the tavern down in the village and she’d assumed he was busy catching up with his people. With his father. No matter how vehemently he’d told her he only wanted to find out where his mother had come from.

His people.

Those words stung.

They separated him from her in a way little else could. Had he been from another country, this issue might never have come up, but as it was, he was from another galaxy altogether. He was an alien. And it didn’t matter to her, how could it, when she’d known him all her life, but thinking of the Athosians as _his people,_ made it real. No matter how often she reassured herself that she was being stupid. Torren’s life was on Earth. His family was on Earth.

But his roots were here.

And instead of trying to find him and talk to him, Grace had dived straight into work, determined to fix something and keep her mind occupied. Grace had replaced the crystal the first chance she got, and when they returned from the talks in the village she had immediately lend a hand wherever she could. Replacing the crystal was one thing, but it had cost them. Several systems were strained and without them they needed a lot longer to repair the damage done by the Wraith Hive. But work was still good. It was something she was good at: actually getting work done and not sitting around to stare at a screen. Maybe she should just give up writing that doctoral thesis and be satisfied with her life the way it was.

It was okay, wasn’t it? She had Torren. Her parents must already know about it by now. They hadn’t made a big announcement, but the way her mother had talked about Torren over dinner the other day made it all too clear that the thing was settled for them. And that was fine by her.

And she liked her work. She liked building things and repairing them. She understood the science behind these things. She was no mathematical genius like Carter or Miller, but to hell with that. She could hold her own!

She turned on her side, closed her eyes and tried to pretend that there was no noise. That there was nothing in this room but her. That Torren’s arm was draped around her waist. That his soft, warm breath was on her neck.

A particularly loud snore made her snap her eyes open. Without another thought, she threw back the blanket, got dressed as quietly as she could in the dark and walked towards the door, boots already in hand. She’d get an herbal tea with lots of honey and then she’d try to get some more sleep. That was exactly what she needed right now. If push came to shove, she might just as well slip back among the repair crew and try to fix some more stuff.

With a soft hiss the door slid open and she barely stifled a scream when she found herself face to face with another person. She quickly held her hand over her mouth and shook her head at the wide grin on Torren’s face.

He stepped to the side to let her pass. “I was about to knock,” he whispered as Grace closed the door.

“Bit late for a booty call, huh?” Shaking her head, she put her hair back in a pony tail.

“Not why I’m here,” he answered, and he let out a long breath. “Take a walk with me?”

_“You know,” he said quietly, as though any word he might say would wake their sleeping daughter, “I kind of like that we’re not going home for another few days.” He was holding Caleb in his other arm while the other was draped over Alex’s shoulders. Heavy, warm and comforting._

_“Why?” Alex asked. She turned her head to look at him, but his eyes were trained on Grace. Mere hours ago they had been released from the infirmary. With Keller on an off-world mission and Doctor Langdon on leave, it had been Doctor Beckett’s turn to deliver their baby. And he’d done a magnificent job. Yes, Grace had been just as early as Caleb had been, but this birth hadn’t been nearly as painful as the last one. It had lasted longer, but in return, she’d managed to pull through it a whole lot better._

_“I’m glad we get to spend some time alone before the entire family shows up again.” He swallowed hard. He wasn’t over his mother’s death. His mother would never know this child. Yes, she’d gotten to know Caleb, but she’d missed out on Grace._

_Alex raised her free hand and brushed away the single tear sliding down Evan’s cheek. For all his talk about having his little family to themselves, she doubted he meant it. They’d have plenty of time, just the four of them, when it was time to go back to Atlantis on the_ Apollo. _“You know, we have a huge family here. They’ll barge in a couple of hours from now.”_

_Evan nodded once, then leaned over and kissed her. Deeply. A kiss that was enough to make her forget to breathe and her toes curl. His lips were so soft and tender, his breath warm and comforting. He put his hand on her neck, pulling her face closer to his and when he finally pulled away, she tasted the salt of his tears. “I know,” he whispered, wiping his face as Caleb stirred in his arms. There was so much he wanted to say. She could see it in his eyes, but he’d only just returned from a mission when he had been called to the infirmary. He was dead on his feet. And so was she. So were the children._

_“You should try to get some sleep,” she said just as quietly and he nodded. He lay down, his head on her shoulder and her heart seemed to swell at the thought of how much he needed her._

_She turned her head and kissed his forehead. She wouldn’t get a wink of sleep. She was still too wound up. Her entire body still ached, and the slight weight of their newborn baby on her chest reminded her of every second of it._

_But she also knew that Evan wouldn’t sleep either._

_And so they lay in the dark, listening to each other’s breathing and feeling the warmth of their children in their arms._

“When you said _walk_ I thought you meant to the cafeteria,” Grace said, nodding to the Sergeants guarding the lowered ramp. They were among friends here, so the ramp remained lowered at all times, but the guards were still a necessity. Just in case. And they weren’t the only ones. There must be at least ten more in the immediate area. Luckily neither one of them had been ordered to stay aboard. For all intents and purposes, this was a friendly planet, and Grace had signed out.

But Torren ignored them all and Grace felt a terrible cold creeping up on her as she followed him out into the dark. He was only armed with a flash light and she’d only just had the sense to stop at the armoury and get a P-90 once she realized he was determined to go outside.

“Not exactly,” he breathed as Grace caught up with him. He wasn’t heading for the village. Not in a direct line anyway. He’d turned slightly to the East, his flashlight illuminating the path ahead.

Rolling her eyes, she turned on the light sitting on top of her gun and helped him pick a trail.

“How was…” she began, but she trailed off. She hadn’t seen Torren in hours. How was she supposed to know what had happened to have him so rattled? She had a vague idea, but she wasn’t brave enough to ask.

He bumped into her slightly and she lowered her right hand automatically to touch his. He took it without another moment’s hesitation. “How was what?” he asked, a tone of bitterness in his voice.

He wasn’t usually bitter.

Never. He might get angry when the occasion called for it, but what he must be going through here was clearly tormenting him.

“Meeting the other Athosians?”

His fingers tightened around hers and she felt a sudden wave of relief wash over her. He trusted her. He wanted her to come with her. He wanted her to know.

“Weird,” he said quietly and in the soft light emitting from their torches she could see his frown. “Halling showed me around, introduced me to a couple of people…” he trailed off and Grace watched his face slip into a heart breaking grimace. She didn’t speak as they trudged through the forest until they reached a well-trodden path which led them away from the village.

“How’re you feeling about all of this?” she asked. Torren wasn’t a quiet person usually. Sometimes he was downright chatty.

He scoffed. “About being _back?”_ The emphasis he put on the last word sent a shiver down her spine and she clung to his hand a bit more. With a sigh, he slowed down. They had reached a low fence woven from twigs and by the light of their two torches she could see that it spread around a small meadow about the size of half a soccer field. Someone had planted flowers around the edge, but what struck her, what made her feel a sense of recognition and terror, were the thirty or so knee-high steles set up in neat rows.

The sky was a lot lighter now. Once they’d cleared the trees, she could see a soft pink tinge starting to stretch along the tops of the trees. The sun rose early in this place.

She started to let go of Torren’s hand, but he clasped her fingers tighter. “Your dad?” she asked and he nodded just as a ray of sunlight hit his forehead.

“My father died three years ago when a group of bandits attacked this place,” he said quietly, pulling her forwards. “I haven’t even been here yet.”

Grace understood why. He couldn’t come here alone. She doubted she’d have the strength to do it either. No matter how unfamiliar that father of his was, he must have been looking forward to meeting him despite everything he’d said. To find this place still existed and to know that he barely missed the chance of meeting him must be devastating. “I’m so sorry,” she found herself whispering and she knew the moment the words slipped past her lips that these words weren’t enough. They felt like empty shells dropping between them, but he ignored the standard phrase and shrugged.

“Thanks for coming here with me,” he said, turning towards her and raising her hand to his lips, before starting to pull her towards the steles. “The Athosians,” he said, “normally burn their dead and don’t erect monuments.”

Grace nodded. It made sense. For generations the Athosians had led a nomadic lifestyle, moving from place to place so as not to present an easy target for the Wraith. “What changed?”

“This alliance with the Wraith,” he said. “They settled in this place. Built real houses. Made room for a graveyard.” The beam of his flashlight travelled over the dark grey steles, illuminating names set there in Ancient and in Roman letters. A few of them stood out, though neither of them meant anything to her. They would mean something to her parents, though. She was sure of that.

_Gianluca Tonini._

_Charles de Clare._

No ranks. No titles. No dates of birth or death. Just the names.

Grace shivered in the cool morning air. As they walked past the rows, the sun rose more and more until they finally stopped and Torren’s gaze rested on one of the newer steles.

“The Athosians still burn their dead. What’s changed is this” Torren whispered, finally letting go of Grace’s hand to point at a slightly less weathered stele and kneeling down.

Grace could make out more names now. Names that didn’t belong to the Tau’ri, but to Athosians. And there, on the stele in front of Torren, she saw the name of Torren’s father.

_Kanaan._

“I’m sorry,” she said again as she stretched out a hand and placed it on her shoulder.

He didn’t shake it off, but he didn’t speak either. He just knelt there, staring at the grey stone and the letters etched into it. Like the full stop in the middle of a sentence. An interruption that nobody had expected.

After a while he reached up and put his hand on hers. It was icy cold.

“Not sure what I expected to find here,” he said quietly, getting to his feet again. His dark brown eyes were still trained on the stele. “Let’s head back.”

A gush of wind rippled through his curly hair and they looked up. For a moment there was nothing there but the clear orange and blue sky. And then a shadow passed over them and Grace was reaching for her radio. Her heart wasn’t even racing. Her hand wasn’t shaking when she pushed the button and nothing but static filled her ear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy weekend everybody!
> 
> Dun-dun-duuuun another cliffhanger. What do you think is going on here? :-)


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops, I completely forgot: Yesterday would’ve been Evan’s birthday! And I didn’t post an update. Well, here’s one now. Enjoy!

2016

_“I’m so tired.” Alex hated herself for saying it, but it was true._

_“Tired” wasn’t even the right word for it. “Exhausted” might be a better one, but that one didn’t quite cut it either._

_And, yes, she had every right to be both, but that didn’t mean she could just give in. Evan was off with SG-1. Jonas was with them. Oliver and the rest of their team had tagged along. Anna was no big help, neither was Amanda. And that constant fighting was sure to drive Alex crazy. She closed her laptop with a snap. Her eyes were burning, her heart was pumping wildly and Grace had just hit Caleb over the head with her doll._

_She knew she should get up._

_She knew she had to tell Grace off and comfort Caleb, but she couldn’t move._

_This was all too much and Ellen and her boys were off to get groceries. She was all alone, and she needed to work on this translation. Alright, she didn’t_ need _to. It wasn’t anything important, just another manual, but it was work and it helped her get through the night. Working through the night, forgetting that the place beside her had been empty for three months, meant that she was far too tired to take care of her children the next day and she hated herself for it. For allowing herself to wallow._

_She pinched the back of her nose, trying to drown out the squeals and to collect herself before turning to face her children. Caleb had grabbed Grace’s doll and was about to start cutting of the hair, while Grace wailed and started throwing duplos. “Oh, for heaven’s sake!” Alex groaned, getting up and wiping the tears from her burning eyes. “Stop that right now!” she shouted, her feeble voice yet another reminder that Evan being here would’ve made this a whole lot better._

_But Evan wasn’t here._

_Evan might be dead for all she knew._

_Caleb pretended not to hear her and cut off the first strand of hair, making Grace throw the next plastic stone at Caleb’s face. She had excellent aim._

_“STOP IT!” Alex shouted, ripping the scissors from Caleb’s hand. With no further ado, she picked up Grace and immediately Caleb started crying as well. “Oh come on,” she muttered at the eight-year-old. “Knock it off.”_

_“She hit me!”_

_“With a soft toy!”_

_“Mommy!”_

_“Oh Grace, please…” She rolled her eyes and the sound of a car outside brought tears to her eyes again. Well, there went the bare minimum of dignity she’s been able to uphold._

_“Mommy, my doll!”_

_Alex sighed and wiped her eyes, knowing full well they were red and blotchy anyway. She just wanted Evan to be back here. To help. To hold her. To tell off their children so she didn’t have to._

_And she hated wishing it, only because she needed_ help _. Not primarily because she needed_ him _and that was all. She hiccuped. “Why are you crying?!” Caleb asked, his voice husky and Alex hid her eyes behind her hand as the door opened and Evan’s sister walked in with Paul and Simon. “Mom, I’m sorry!”_

_She didn’t even bother turning away. No use pretending that hole in her chest and the accompanying self-loathing didn’t exist. This world, this whole galaxy, was in trouble and she was crying over her children squabbling. She was nothing but a pathetic mess._

_“Oh boy,” she heard Simon say. There was a pause during which Alex didn’t move._

_“Mommy, let me down,” Grace said quietly and Alex complied at once. Grace was getting too heavy for this anyway. But once she put down her daughter, she didn’t find it in her to get up again._

_“Paul,” Ellen said, but she didn’t need to go on. She and her sons were here on holiday officially. In reality they had come over to keep Alex and their children company._

_“Come on, let’s check out the new swing set in the park,” she heard Simon say and Caleb’s hand brushed through her hair. Grace kissed her cheek and a few seconds later they were gone._

_“I’m sorry,” Alex whispered, forcing herself to look up. Ellen was standing in the doorway to the living room, hands on her hips, her head tilted slightly to the side. “I’m such a mess.”_

_“Of course you are,” Ellen sighed. Without another word she sat down opposite Alex and took her hand. They’d been friends for years, but they hadn’t talked for a long while. With Alex and Evan in another galaxy, it’d been hard to keep in touch. But they had returned here five years ago and ever since Ellen had been a regular visitor here. Sometimes Roger came along as well and he and Evan got along… everything could be okay…_

_But Evan wasn’t here._

_Alex hiccupped again, freed her hand, and shook her head. “Sorry, I’m not like this normally.”_

_“I know… this is the first time he’s been gone this long, hasn’t it?”_

_Alex shrugged. Previously when he had to go on long missions, they had been able to keep in touch. Not this time around, though. There was no contact between Earth and the_ Apollo _right now, in case that message was intercepted._

_For all they knew, the ship was long gone._

_“He always comes back,” she forced herself to say and Ellen nodded with a smile that didn’t quite reach the deep blue eyes._

_“I know.”_

_And he always did. The thing was: one day he might not. And she’d always been okay with it, or she pretended to be. Really, she’d known it might happen and a few times she’d thought it already had. It never got easier._

_Alex took a deep breath. “I’d better wash up. Again, I’m sorry.”_

_“Don’t be stupid,” Ellen said softly just as the phone on the coffee table started ringing. “I’d be the same. And I’m worried, too.” Her eyes reminded Alex so much of Evan. It was hard to look at her friend._

_“I’m just terrible with the kids… I can’t do this.”_

_“Rubbish,” Ellen said, more forcefully. “You’re tired and worried and things will get better once you had some sleep.”_

_Alex’s hand was shaking as she reached behind her to grab the phone. Her breath caught in her chest when she saw the caller ID. She quickly picked up and pressed the phone to her ear. “Yes. Hello? General Landry?”_

_2034_

Caleb sighed, brushing a hand over his eyes, and then turning to look out of the large window. He was still cradling his mug like it was the most precious thing in the universe as he surveyed the mist clinging to the tops of the pine trees.

The sun had just risen and neither of them had gotten a whole lot of sleep. She doubted anyone who had been present at the meeting had slept well. Evan had only shown up in their room in the early hours of the morning, seeking comfort in her arms, but neither of them had slept a wink. He had left again a few minutes before Caleb showed up and it had been years since Alex had felt so useless. Her son at least had managed to drag her out of their small room and down to breakfast.

“You know,” Caleb began, lifting his mug to his lips and taking a sip, “I read your reports.”

Alex smiled softly and looked down at the mug of black coffee he’d brought for her. “I figured you’d read some.”

“No, I mean all of them.”

Josh scoffed and rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, he did.” He had dark circles under his eyes and as he leaned back, he reminded Alex a lot of his mother.

“That’s a lot of reports,” Alex said and Caleb nodded. For a second there it looked like he was going to say a whole lot more, but instead he just laughed and shook his head.

“I _can_ read, you know.”

With a smirk, Alex took another sip of coffee. “I’m aware, yes. And your penmanship is excellent, or so your teacher tells me.”

Josh choked on his toast as Caleb’s eyes narrowed for a second before he smiled as well. With a slight nod, he leaned back in his chair. “What I meant to say was that I realize what coming back here must mean to you and Dad. And that it can’t be easy.”

Alex nodded. “No, it’s not. One of my team members was either left behind, or he died in Atlantis. Evan’s entire team, except for Lucas’ dad, is MIA…” Ronon hadn’t given them a list of names of survivors, but Alex doubted that list would include all of them. Twenty. Twenty, that was all that was left. “It’s been rough. We never used to leave people behind.” She turned the mug in her hand. It wasn’t true. It was the unofficial motto of the Stargate Program, but there had been more than one occasion when the people in charge had been forced to give up the search for expedition members. So far Evan hadn’t been forced to do this as well, but Alex couldn’t help but think that the day wasn’t far away.

“Lucas told me they lost a member of their team on his third mission,” Josh said and Caleb’s head snapped around immediately, but Josh pretended not to notice.

“Yes, Grace was devastated,” Alex answered, shuddering at the thought. Kevin Whitby, a linguist, who had been assigned to Grace’s team for a recon mission, had been killed by a weapon which one of the old System Lords had left behind. SG-8 was supposed to check out the old Goa’uld burial site which Alex and her team had discovered years and years ago. Grace had come home to Alex that night, shaking all over. “It happens.”

Caleb turned the mug in his hands and nodded. He cleared his throat. “D’you think these people are gonna want to come back with us?”

Alex shrugged. “I don’t know. Some of them. Maybe.” Who could tell, really? Especially since the chance of them getting back here again were slim to none. They had made a life here, some of them might even have started a family. She bit her lip and emptied her mug, taking out her tablet and turning it on. Time to change the subject. They weren’t going to return to the village until the sun had fully risen and this was as good an opportunity as any. “When you get back, you’ll want to investigate the area around Castel del Monte again, I guess?”

“Yeah,” Josh cleared his throat and picking up the thread straight away. “If we get permission from the regional government that is. When we left our request was still pending.”

“Ah,” Alex said, barely able to keep back a smirk when she saw Evan approaching, a mug in his hand. “Ask him to speed it up, then,” she suggested and Josh turned around with raised eyebrows.

“Really?”

“Really what?” Evan asked, standing next to Alex, his hand on the back of her chair.

“Can you speed up permissions to dig at Castel del Monte?” Caleb asked with a slight frown.

Evan cocked his head and nodded pensively, his thumb tracing Alex’s shoulder blade inconspicuously. He would never have done this as Sheppard’s right hand back on Atlantis. “I’ve assigned your team to that job, haven’t I?” he asked with a raised eyebrow at Josh, who nodded once. “Well, that should help. I’ll make a couple of calls when we get back. Shouldn’t be a problem. Bates is still working for the IOA, that should help pulling a couple of extra strings.”

“Ah, the infamous string pulling of international politics,” Caleb said, but for once there was no testiness in his voice. “D’you think it’ll work?”

Evan shrugged. “String pulling got us on a dig at Giza back in the day. Got Carter on a fun research trip when the Russians found an abandoned Ancient outpost in Siberia.”

“Yes, that was fun,” Carter chimed in, pulling up a chair and sitting down next to Caleb, who stared at her wide-eyed. Clearly he hadn’t expected the commander of this ship to casually sit down next to them, no matter how often she’d been at their house as he was growing up. She looked weary and about as tired as Evan felt. She and Evan had spent most of the night talking over their options. This ship would only take another day to repair.

“Do you think you can get them to take a look at the Castel itself? Foundations and stuff?”

Evan shrugged. “Should be fun to demand that during tourist season,” he muttered with a grin. He wasn’t wrong. “Maybe if you wait ‘till autumn?”

Josh nodded with a small smile and he pulled Alex’s tablet towards himself, where she’d already opened up the file and the notes she’d made on the Pegasus equivalent. “This is going to be so much fun.”

With a short laugh, Caleb stretched and folded his hands behind his head. “Any chance we could get to that original place of gathering in the Milky Way?” he asked Carter who shrugged.

“Heliopolis?” she smiled ruefully and shook her head. “We went back years ago. Nothing left. But that mission to the Nox homeworld still stands. We’re supposed to go there once we get back…”

Biting his lip, Evan pulled up a chair and sat down next to Alex. He’d been the one to push back the mission to the Nox homeworld. Somehow he’d been hard pressed to find it in him to trust them again. But he’d never admit openly that it was he who had been stalling, because he didn’t want his daughter to go to that planet after Alex had been trapped there the last time.

Caleb smiled. “Did you ever get them to tell you about this alliance with that unknown race here in Pegasus?” he asked his mother.

“They didn’t know,” she said, “but there are Asgard here in Pegasus and none of the Asgard we ever knew was aware of those.” She shrugged.

“They could’ve been lying,” Josh said and Alex shrugged.

“The Nox aren’t the lying type,” Carter said, wiping her face.

“No, they were just blissfully unaware their once-allies had become power hungry and hell-bent on dominating the universe.” Evan hated the touch of sarcasm in his voice and quickly hid his face behind his mug. Being tired really didn’t improve his mood.

_“They could’ve just beamed us over,” Mitchell said, stretching as they walked along the long corridor. “Would’ve been easier and far quicker.”_

_“The_ Daedalus’ _beaming technology is still being upgraded,” Carter said. She was back on her feet, although she was still in recovery. Evan had taken her bag without even bothering to offer. When someone got shot for you and volunteered to let themselves get killed, the least you could do was carry their bag._

_“Meetings with the President never get old, though.” Mitchell shrugged._

_“Speak for yourself,” Evan muttered. After the ordeal with the Furlings, he would’ve loved getting home sooner rather than later, but he hadn’t even had time to call Alex yet._

_“Well, it’s not every day you get to defeat an evil alien, clear the way for a peace treaty and then get treated to a marvellous lunch at the White House.”_

_“Cam, stop being modest, will you? It doesn’t suit you.” Carter said, rolling her eyes at Evan as they headed for the exit. The small terminal for Air Force Personnel at Peterson appeared to be even smaller today. It was barely in use anymore._

_Mitchell was first at the door, which slid open to reveal a hall far too big for such a small airfield and Evan’s eyes flew immediately to the blond woman and the two children standing in front of her. He didn’t acknowledge O’Neill or Oscar, Mitchell’s husband._

_He couldn’t._

_Not when he saw Alex’s eyes sparkle with tears, or the wide grin on Grace’s face which revealed a missing tooth. Caleb laughed and held up a poster on which Evan could clearly make out Ellen’s handwriting._

_Laughing, Evan pushed past Mitchell, dropped his and Carter’s bag and knelt in front of his children, pulling them into a tight embrace. A second later he smelled Alex and felt her arms around him._

_“Dad! Good you’re home!” Caleb laughed._

_“What’d you bring us?” Grace asked, making Evan laugh as he pulled away and kissed the top of her head._

_“Chocolate,” he answered. He’d picked up several bars of Toblerone in Washington._

_“Oh, that’s good!” Grace said and Caleb nodded._

_“Mom said we’re gonna have a barbecue at Cameron’s place!” Caleb said and Evan nodded. He was tired, but that didn’t matter. He was just relieved to be back. He laughed and kissed first Caleb’s forehead, then Alex full on the lips before he leaned back and read out the poster._

DAD

So glad you’re home…

MOM

Quit 2 weeks ago.

_He felt a wave of relief wash over him. He was home. And for now they were all safe._

“It wasn’t their fault,” Carter argued. “The Nox-“

Evan was shaking his head, but before he could retort, he spotted a Sergeant approach him directly from the corridor, interrupting Carter more efficiently than harsh words could.

“General,” he said, standing upright, his hands clasped tightly at his side. He was relatively new to the program. “Colonel,” he looked briefly at Carter, but then his eyes flew back to Evan. A twinge of fear was in his eyes and Evan got the sense that he wasn’t going to like this.

“What is it, Peters?” he put down his mug next to Alex’s.

“Sir, a patrol found Lieutenant Lorne and Mr Emmagan lying in a field near the village. They’re both unconscious and are being brought onboard as we speak.”

Evan fought the impulse to jump to his feet. He felt Alex’s hand dig into his shirt and he nodded slowly, as his heart seemed to have forgotten how to beat. “Thanks,” he said hoarsely, while Caleb was already up.

“They’ll be in the infirmary momentarily, Sir.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got the idea for the poster from an article which listed weird pictures taken at airports. It was too delicious not to use it.
> 
> Okay, another cliffhanger. I’m so so so so sorry! But then again, maybe I’m not.


	32. Chapter 32

_2034_

“Do you think it was one of the Athosians?” Lucas asked quietly and out of the corner of his eye Caleb could see Josh shake his head.

Caleb was leaning against the wall in the corridor, hands folded over his chest so as to stop them from twitching and fumbling with his shirt. It’s been twenty minutes since Grace and Torren had been brought into the infirmary and ever since he, Lucas and Josh had been standing here, waiting for news while Caleb’s parents were in there. Carter had already sent for Ronon.

“What makes you say that?” Josh asked, sounding surprised. As though Lucas of all people should know that aliens weren’t necessarily hostile.

“They were found near that village, weren’t they?” Lucas said, his voice calm as he was skilfully ignoring the sting Josh had inadvertently placed in his tone. He brushed his hand over his short hair and shook his head. “These people here are angry, not violent.”

“You sure you can say the same thing about the Wraith?” Caleb said quietly, his eyes trained on the sliding door separating him from his family. He himself wasn’t sure at all about those life sucking aliens, but if the people of the Pegasus galaxy had learned to arrange themselves with them, who was he to judge? And all he cared about right now was whether or not Grace was okay. He could worry about all those other things later.

He saw Lucas flinch and nod, his eyes trained on the floor as he stared into nothingness and nodded. He touched his earpiece and looked apologetically at him. “Be right there,” he said, touched the button in his ear again and smiled sadly at Caleb. “I got to go. Miller says we’re joining the team sweeping the area.”

Caleb cleared his throat. “Sure,” he said, wondering why he hadn’t been called to join his team.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can, okay?” Lucas was frowning as he took a step toward Caleb and pulled him into a tight embrace before Caleb knew what was happening. He felt Lucas’ hands on his back, the hot breath on his neck and for the fraction of a second he thought he could feel those lips on his skin. But Lucas let go of him before he could be sure.

_“Don’t you want to go see a doctor about this?” Ellen asked, sitting down on the sofa. “I can’t believe you didn’t get them vaccinated.”_

_Alex had gone up again to check on Grace. She was still running a bit of a fever and was tired most of the time. On their return journey from Pegasus, Grace and Caleb had both caught chicken pox and since Grace had only just recovered from a bad case of Kiersan Fever, it’d hit her harder than usual. And they hadn’t skipped the vaccination. It was just that nobody had even bothered to wonder whether or not Kiersan Fever could annihilate those anti bodies._

_Evan shook his head. “It’s okay, Ellen,” he said. “We’re seeing a doctor.” Beckett was still on the case and he even came by their house once a day to make sure that Grace was alright. Caleb, as usual, had recovered far more quickly and luckily nobody else seemed to be in danger here. And things were okay. They really were. Grace was feeling better and the red, itchy spots were as good as gone._

_For the first time since the Furlings’ attack on the city, a calm that made him feel both relaxed and anxious at the same time had entered their lives. They were back home. In their house. And while he had to go off-world for a recon mission with Sheppard’s new team the day after next, he had, for once, decided not to worry. Beckett and Keller were both aware of what was going on and chicken pox were nothing they couldn’t handle._

_There was normalcy where before there had been worry and war, but that thin veil of calm could rip easily enough and he was determined not to let anything disturb it. He’d go off-world, give the fight against their enemy his all, and would come back here to find his family safe. He couldn’t allow any other thought. He couldn’t dwell on Nabi and Woeste’s fate when there was nothing he could do for them right now. He and Sheppard would sit down together and figure out a way to demand a re-evaluation of the Atlantis expedition when they got back. One step at a time._

_Everything else would only result in chaos._

_“If you say so,” Ellen said, throwing her hair back and crossing her legs. “You’re weird.”_

_Evan nodded, smiling slightly. “I won’t argue with that.”_

_“Good.”_

_“I’m still glad things worked out, you know?” She smiled softly, looking up at the ceiling. “I mean, the two of you deciding to raise your kids in the middle of nowhere while on a secret mission is insane. But you’ve always been crazy. Remember when you dumped her only to get back together with her? I mean.._ I _was always rooting for you two.”_

_Evan scoffed. No use telling his sister that it’d been Alex who had dumped him… well, more or less. That was in the past. “I remember,” he said. “You threw us together after all.”_

_“I played my part.” Shrugging, Ellen turned to look at the staircase where Alex’s steps could be heard. “How is she?”_

_Alex put her hair back in a pony tail. She’d abandoned cutting her hair on the_ Daedalus _. She looked a bit dishevelled, but relatively calm. “Grace is fast asleep and Caleb demanded another story. How are Paul and Simon? Heard from them yet?” she asked. She sat on the armrest of Evan’s chair and he casually put a hand on her knee. As usual stress and worry had claimed their price on her. She was far too thin._

_Roger, Ellen’s husband, had taken their sons camping and Ellen had jumped at the chance to visit Evan and Alex in Colorado Springs the moment they returned home. “Roger is having the time of his life, and the boys are miserable. He snores and they hate fish.”_

_Alex smiled tiredly. “Poor them,” she said, just as they heard a soft call from upstairs._

_“Daddy?!”_

_Evan patted Alex’s knee. “I’ll be back in a few,” he said, getting to his feet. “Fast asleep, huh?”_

_“She was!” Alex whispered and Evan nodded. Grace had always been a light sleeper._

_Grace was standing on the landing on top of the stairs, her blotched hand rubbing her eye even though they’d told her a million times not to do it._

_“What is it, baby?” he asked softly as he climbed the stairs and swooped her up in his arms. She was warm, but not feverishly hot as she had been that morning._

_“I’m scared,” she said as she started rubbing her hands on her pyjama. “Nightmare.”_

_“What nightmare, Grace?” Holding her tight against his chest, he slowly made his way into her bedroom. She hadn’t slept in this room in a year before their return here two days ago. Slowly he put her into bed, in which the blanket still held some of her warmth, and lay down next to her._

_Grace took a while to answer and her tiny hand was buried in his shirt. “I don’t know,” she said, “it’s dark. There are tall stones,” she breathed, her light eyes wide._

_Shaking his head, he put his arms around her. He’d left the door slightly ajar and he could hear the murmuring below. “Do you want to tell me more?”_

_She shrugged and pressed her face in the crook of his neck. “Torren’s there. He’s asleep.”_

_“Okay,” Evan whispered into her hair, stroking her back. “It’s okay.” He didn’t know what to make of this. Was it normal for children her age to have vivid nightmares like this? He’d have to ask Beckett next morning. “Do you want me to stay here tonight?”_

_Grace nodded and he could practically feel the tension leave her tiny body._

Alex wasn’t talking.

Pale and still as a statue she was sitting next to Grace, her hand on the thin blanket covering their daughter’s body. They hadn’t been in here long, but to Evan it felt like hours since Montgomery, the ship’s doctor had completed the preliminary tests and declared that both Grace and Torren were merely unconscious. That there was no physical damage.

The results of the blood tests should be back any minute now.

After about five more minutes of pacing, Evan sat down next to Alex, an arm around her shoulders and she leaned against him without a word.

Grace didn’t look ill. And that was exactly what should be freaking him out. She was breathing normally and deeply, but she hadn’t woken up yet. And who could tell how long she and Torren had been lying there.

“She checked out her weapon at around five,” he said quietly, repeating the report the Sergeant had given them on their way. “They can’t have been gone for more than half an hour before they were found.”

Alex nodded, still unable to speak.

Swallowing hard, Evan looked over his shoulder at Torren, who was just as unmoving as Grace.

“Well, it doesn’t look too bad,” Doctor Montgomery was saying as she left her little booth and returned to them, carrying one of the slim tablets everybody on this ship had on them at all times.

Evan forced himself to assume a neutral expression when he turned around to look at the Doctor. “Really?” he said, unable to repress a touch of sarcasm in his voice.

Montgomery blanched. She’d been aboard this ship for years now, but was apparently still not too comfortable around senior officers. For once Carter may have failed picking a good candidate for this job, he thought testily.

“Well,” Montgomery said, adjusting her glasses. “The two of them are physically fine, as I said before.”

“Apart from the fact that they’re both unconscious,” Alex said wearily without taking her eyes off Grace. Her hand shook as she placed it on her daughert’s.

The doctor cleared her throat and nodded. “I’m sorry. You’re right. All I can tell you is that we found traces of a sedative in their blood works. It should wear down in the next hour or so.”

His stomach seemed to take a plunge. His mouth was dry as he looked down at Grace and swallowed but felt nothing but air make its way down his throat. Her eyelids were twitching, her chest was rising and falling, but apart from that… he spotted a tiny twig in her blond her and he carefully reached up to take it out.

“Which kind of sedative?” he heard Alex say as he looked at Torren. Teyla would kill him if something happened to the boy. That was if his own conscience didn’t kill him off before that could happen. Torren looked just as beat as Grace did. Screw the whole “just a sedative”-thing. Somebody had attacked them, and he’d be damned if he didn’t find out who’d done it.

“I’m not entirely sure yet, I’ll have to check the databanks again, but it appears to be plant based.”

Evan nodded curtly. “I have to go,” he said, balling his hands into fists. He had to keep going. He had to do something. To take action. “Talk to Carter and Ronon before this thing gets out of hand.”

Alex grabbed his wrist and looked up at him, her eyes wide. She didn’t speak, but she didn’t need to.

He freed his hand and touched her cheek. “See you in a bit,” he said. “Thanks, Doc,” he told Montgomery, even if he wasn’t entirely sure what to make of her. Then he leaned over Grace’s bed and kissed her forehead. He hadn’t done that in ages, but he was determined to show her he was there for her. That he was thinking of her. Even if she didn’t know he was there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are again. At the end of yet another chapter. The second one for this week and I started writing the Epilogue for this story. Don’t worry, there’ll be more action and a lot more explaining and drama and everything you could wish for…
> 
> Let me know what you thought of this chapter! I’ll be back as soon as I can!


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaand we’re back! Sorry, this is a rather short chapter. Enjoy anyway!

****

** Chapter 33 **

_2034_

“Lorne!” Halling was fuming when he joined him and Carter on the bridge, Ronon right at his heel. “I did not expect this of you!”

Evan exchanged a glance with Carter. She raised her eyebrow. This was his job and she was clearly relieved he was the one in charge right now. He put a hand on the back of Fisherman’s chair and returned Halling’s stare. “Two of our people were attacked. Incidentally, one of them was Torren Emmagan.”

The colour rose in Halling’s cheeks and his nostrils flared. That was the wrong move. “What is that supposed to mean?”

For a moment, Evan just returned the other man’s gaze. “It means we don’t suspect a single Athosian,” was the most diplomatic answer he was capable of.

“Why then do your soldiers search the village!?”

He hadn’t ordered that. He looked at Carter again, who nodded and turned to talk quietly to the communications officer. “As you should know it’s standard procedure. They didn’t enter a house, though, did they?” So they weren’t searching the village. Just… the streets. God, he hated diplomacy.

Halling’s eyes narrowed. “No,” he said quietly. “You should have informed us.”

That was without question. He’d made that mistake. “I apologize,” Evan answered. “My daughter was attacked as well.” It wasn’t much of an apology, but it was a better excuse than anything else.

It took Halling a few seconds before he nodded. “Alright.” He turned to look at Ronon, who still had his arms crossed over his chest, but his gaze had softened somewhat. “How can we help?”

This wasn’t ideal, but it was certainly better than nothing, and definitely an improvement over the heated talks of the previous night. Evan waved invitingly to the back of the bridge where a narrow door led to Carter’s office. It wasn’t huge, but it would allow for some private conversations. “Let’s talk,” he suggested and Halling nodded cautiously.

The first thing Grace felt was that massive pain. She couldn’t locate the source of it, but she felt it throbbing in her head. Like a sledgehammer that repeatedly banged against parts of her brain and skull without being able to decide where to hit next.

She squinted against the bright light over her and felt a hand squeeze hers. “Ouch,” she breathed, her voice raspy.

A cool hand was placed on her forehead and a familiar smell crept up her nose. She blinked again and turned her throbbing head. “Mom?”

Alex smiled and nodded. “How bad is it?”

“Major hangover,” she said as the memories of the moments before the darkness hit her. “Where’s Torren?” Her heart was hammering and the nervous glance her mother threw over her shoulder did nothing to ease the tension in her chest.

“He’s awake,” Alex said quietly, stroking her cheek. “Doctor Montgomery took him for an MRI just in case.” She swallowed visibly. “He’s alright… how are you feeling?”

“Like my head’s gonna explode.” Grace closed her eyes again. Torren was alright. That was what counted. For a second there she’d thought… what?

“Grace, what happened?”

She heard her mother’s voice, but it took a moment for the words to register. “I don’t know… we …” she broke off and raised her hands to put them over her eyes. “We were in that graveyard in front of the grave of Torren’s dad… and then everything went dark.”

“You don’t know who attacked you?”

Had they been attacked? Probably… why else would they be in the infirmary? “No,” she breathed and opened her eyes again. Concern was clearly etched on her mother’s face and Grace couldn’t help but feel responsible. “Sorry.”

Shaking her head, Alex leaned over her and placed a kiss on her forehead. “Don’t be silly. Don’t be sorry. Get some more rest, okay?”

Easier said than done, Grace thought, but all it really took was the sound of wheels as another bed was rolled into her field of vision and she caught Torren’s eyes. He was smiling at her, even though he looked tired and just as beat as she felt. She let out a long breath and gave in to the darkness scratching on the edges of her vision.

For another minute or so, Alex kept staring at her daughter, remembering what it’d been like to watch her depart for the Academy. She’d been heartbroken then. Being with an officer was one thing. Joining the fight yourself added to that tension. Watching first one and then two of your children depart for a lifetime of danger was a whole new level. And yes, Grace had been wounded before, but this was still different. This here could have easily gone wrong.

She turned to look at Torren, who was still awake, even though his eyelids were starting to droop. “How about you?”

Torren scoffed. They had talked shortly before Montgomery had dragged him away. “I feel like my head’s about to burst. Thanks.”

Alex managed a smile. “You have John Sheppard’s wonderful sense of sarcasm,” she said. Torren was a lot more receptive than Grace had been and that added to her worry. Maybe Grace had just been hit by a bigger dose.

“Rubs off on you after a while,” Torren said and Alex nodded noncommittally.

“I’m going up to the bridge. Do you need me to get you anything or to tell something?”

Just a shake of the head. “Don’t remember anything… just.. wind and… something from.. above?”

Wind… well that could mean about anything or nothing or everything. Slowly Alex got up and patted Torren’s cheek. He wasn’t a boy anymore, but she couldn’t help herself. This man was a bit older than Evan had been when she first met him, but somehow he seemed younger. More fragile. “I’ll be back in a few, okay.”

Torren nodded and drifted off to sleep as quickly as Grace had done.

She wasn’t surprised to find Caleb still waiting outside with Josh when Alex emerged from the infirmary. He gave a little start and made a step towards her.

“Dad said something about a sedative, is she-“ Caleb began and Alex cut him off by hugging him. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Josh take a step back as Caleb hesitated, then slowly put his arms around her too. “Mom?”

Alex nodded. She couldn’t remember ever seeking comfort in her son’s arms. Usually it’d been the other way around and even that hadn’t happened in a while. But right now she needed this. She needed someone to hold her. Someone she could trust with her weakness.

She felt queasy and exhausted and all she wanted to do was keep standing here, Caleb’s arms wrapped tightly around her, but she knew she needed to speak with Evan.

“She’s okay,” Alex said hoarsely. “So is Torren.” She took a deep breath. “Go on in, I need to go up to the bridge.” If anything, she hadn’t expected she would have to force herself to let go of Caleb to wipe her face. “They’re both sleeping again, but Montgomery said they should wake up again soon.”

“Alex? Do you need me to go with you?” Josh asked tentatively. He was still close by, his hands still in his pockets, but he looked anxious to do something.

Alex quickly shook her head. “No, thank you.” What a considerate young man. She managed a smile, then patted Caleb’s shoulder and made her way towards the elevator.

“Where’s Todd?” Evan asked, hoping that question wouldn’t bring on another storm of accusations into this situation.

Ronon tapped the table with the tip of his finger and didn’t even bother looking up. Evan remembered how long it had taken him to get used to this stubborn quiet and was relieved when Halling took over.

“He is aboard the Hive. They do not need to feed on humans anymore. I thought we were clear on that.”

“It’s the best protection from orbit we could hope for,” Ronon said, his deep voice calm, and he slowly raised his eyes as he crossed his arms again. “You know.”

“Oh, cut it out, will you?” The words burst out, before Evan could stop them. With a shake of his head, he sat down opposite the two of them. “We’re trying to reconnect here. We need to find out who attacked Grace and Torren. Whoever did this might be dangerous to you too, right?”

Ronon snorted again, but he didn’t look away. For a brief moment their eyes met and Evan realized that the other man cared more than he was willing to admit.

“We do not have any enemies to speak of,” Halling said with a sideways glance at Ronon.

“How about the Genii?”

“Like we said, they don’t exist anymore.” Ronon kept staring at Evan, his brow twitching in anger. “Not as one huge people anyway. They’re scattered all over the galaxy.”

Evan still had the distinct feeling that Ronon was blaming him personally for all of this, but before he could ask any more questions, there was a soft knock at the door and Alex came in without being told to. “They’re awake,” she said, sounding a bit out of breath. “Or rather, they were.” Her gaze was fixed on Evan now and she nodded briefly. “They’ll be okay.”

With a curt nod, Evan pulled up a chair for her. Falling back into the old mode was easier than he would’ve believed possible. Alex sat down without hesitating and crossed her arms over her chest, inadvertently copying Ronon’s posture. “I already talked to Carter, Torren said something about wind and something coming from above? But Carter already checked and said they hadn’t detected a ship in the area.”

“No, or they would’ve said so sooner.” Evan scratched his chin. Grace and Torren were alright. That was the most important piece of news for now. “I still suggest we keep sweeping the area,” he looked at Halling again as he cautiously put a hand on Alex’s shaking leg under the table. “With you help. And maybe we should talk about this with Todd.”

“You know that’s not his real name.” Ronon said almost testily. Well that was new. Him defending a Wraith.

“Right.” Evan nodded. Alex was still shaking and she held Ronon’s gaze longer than Evan had. “Well?”

“The other Wraith call him Guide.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guide, huh? For those of you who read the Legacy series by Melissa Scott and Jo Graham: you might remember that name, and I figured it would be time to add it to the story, since I abandoned most of the entire rest of that series. I hope you enjoyed it and I’ll try to post again on Sunday.


	34. Chapter 34

** Chapter 34 **

2016

_She was red in the face and fighting hard to keep from shouting at him. All through dinner she had been reserved and barely talked to him, only marvelling in the short story Caleb had written for school about their holiday and the prospect of Grace’s upcoming soccer match._

_Not a single word had fallen since the children had gone up to bed an hour ago and the way she was tidying up the kitchen gave the impression that she was waging a war on the room._

_“Alex?” he said cautiously, still feeling Grace’s arms around his neck and Caleb’s kiss on his cheeks. He doubted they had fallen asleep already._

_With a loud thud the spatula landed in the sink and she poured an enormous amount of dishwashing liquid into it before turning on the tap. Very likely that this might be the only answer she would give him._

_He cleared his throat and dared venturing another step closer. “Alex, I’m leaving now if you want me to.”_

_She placed both hands on the edge countertop and with a sinking heart he watched on as her shoulders started trembling._

_“Would you please look at me at least?”_

_Her head whipped around and there they were. The tears she’d been holding back. Evan remembered how grateful he’d been in the beginning. She hadn’t cried then. Tears never came to her eyes. And it had only been a source of frustration during the hardest of times. That only changed later on and the older they got, the easier they came. Not that he blamed her. “Why didn’t you resign?” she hissed, clapping her hand over her mouth a second later._

_The hand with the scar. She must feel it on her lips._

_For a moment there, he was on the verge of shouting himself. His hands were balled into fists and he forced his gaze down on the kitchen counter, concentrating very hard on a breadcrumb lying there innocently. He was exhausted and with one single phone call the enormity of the situation had hit him again. Two weeks of holidays in England, two weeks of relaxation and fulfilment had evaporated like they had never happened. He had to go off-world and his team had to join SGs 1 and 15 in defence of the Larsans._

_“You didn’t quit either,” he said, his voice trembling with repressed rage. How he hated this. How he hated fighting with her. The place that had once been their home, the people who had once been part of their family were at stake and when he looked up again he saw the self-loathing in her eyes._

_She quickly brushed her hand over her eyes and shook her head and picked up the kitchen towel to wipe the stove._

_“And if I’m not mistaken, before we left, you got yourself stuck on the Nox homeworld.” The second the words passed his lips, he regretted them. But for once he didn’t care about being unfair._

_She slapped the kitchen towel on the counter and when she looked at him again, there was a rage in her eyes he hadn’t seen there before. “What am I gonna tell the kids when you don’t come back?” she hadn’t raised her voice, but the accusation thinly veiled behind that question sent a shiver down his spine._

_With a low groan he pushed away from the counter and turned his back on her, his hands brushing through his hair to keep them from banging on the work surface. He needed sleep. Not this. He didn’t even have time for this. “Alexandra,” he finally managed, breathing heavily and giving himself a few moments to stare at the topmost patch of the porch before he slowly turned around to look at her._

_She had her arms crossed over her chest and her lips were pressed into a very thin line. She looked so vulnerable and desperate that it made his heart cringe. He’d only ever seen her like a few times. And every single time they had been on the verge of breaking up. Were they about to that incredible mistake again? After going through all of the things they had gone through?_

_After years and years, was what hadn’t mattered at all in the beginning, become so destructive? He knew her. He loved her! Her and their children! And she felt the same way! No… no, this was just a fight. He couldn’t take it to heart. She was worried sick. So was he. They were tired and exhausted from the journey and of having to explain to their children that he’d be leaving. That they didn’t know when he’d be back. They were sick with worry for Grace and Caleb._

_What they had wouldn’t break as easily._

_And yet… the frustration was there. And he couldn’t blame her for wanting to run. She never would._

_He let out a long breath and shook his head. “You knew what you were getting yourself into.”_

_“I did,” she said without hesitating. “And I still do. But…”_

_“But what?!” There… that but seemed to shatter every bit of certainty. One word that hit him like a punch to the gut._

_She blinked and looked at her hands again. “The longer we are together, the higher the stakes get.” Her voice was barely more than a whisper now and that sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach only got worse. For two weeks they had been able to forget this. This constant worry. They had become masters of forgetting. Maybe that was the problem._

_“I really don’t want to talk about this right now.” Evan dropped his hands and looked up at the ceiling. At the fly trying to land on the lamp._

_“Right.” Alex shook her head. “But…” She started that one syllable with enormous force, then dropped her voice and came around the counter. “Don’t leave.” She stretched out a hand towards him and he could see the slight tremble in her fingers._

_He took it after staring at it for a solid minute. Her skin was icy and the cold made his own skin crawl. “Don’t make it harder for me,” he said quietly, shaking his head and he had to force himself to look up into those wonderfully blue eyes._

_Taking a deep, shuddering breath, she closed the distance between them and put a hand on his cheek. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “You know I know better than this.”_

_Evan nodded hesitantly. Him leaving, having to go away and do his duty had only become a problem after their escape from Atlantis and he hated that that moment had driven such a wedge between them. “When this is all over things will calm down.” Or they’d be sent back to Atlantis. Or he would have to go alone. The kids were too old to be able to keep this a secret. Maybe he’d be sent someplace far away from here. Either to the other end of the world, or a different part of the galaxy. But he couldn’t worry about that now._

_“I love you.” Alex’s voice sounded stronger now, but her eyes were still full of tears._

_Evan didn’t hesitate to lean in and kiss her. “Be still here when I come back,” he breathed against her lips, hating himself for feeling so weak in the knees._

_But Alex didn’t answer straight away and the pause as she looked into his eyes, made his heart stop beating for a moment. He was already starting to let go of her when she pulled him even closer. “I will always be here,” she said. “Come back to us.”_

_She wasn’t asking him to make a promise. It was a demand. And how was he supposed to even know he could meet that demand? But he nodded again. “I’ll try.”_

_“And when you get back, maybe we could think things over?”_

_He pressed his lips together. He hadn’t left the Air Force when they wanted to send him to another galaxy. He hadn’t resigned his commission after the IOA decided to abandon the entire Pegasus Galaxy. And he didn’t even want to think about what she actually meant. Did she just mean his job? Or their family? “Alex…” he said again, looking pleadingly into her eyes._

_“No.” Alex put her index on his mouth and shook his head. “Forget it. I’m sorry. I’m tired.”_

_“Things are gonna look very different once you’ve had some sleep.”_

_She scoffed and her hand moved up his side. “As if I’m gonna get a wink of sleep.”_

_Evan smiled despite himself and kissed the tip of her nose._

_“Take care of yourself, will you? We need you back. Not necessarily in one piece, but alive.” She wasn’t returning his smile and he nodded again. She knew what it meant. She’d always known. And she understood that even if he had a choice, he would still go. And if it hadn’t been for their children, she’d insist on Murdoch taking her along. “I’m being so stupid…” Frowning she looked down at his chest and he pulled her closer once more._

_Holding her close to his chest, he kissed her temple. “I’m sure Mitchell wouldn’t mind me getting there a bit late, you know?”_

_2034_

Grace and Torren were both fully awake now and Montgomery had said they would have to remain in the infirmary for another day. It was a relief, to say the least, but the fact remained that nobody knew what had happened to them and why.

The incident had led to the agreement that the Tau’ri and the Athosians would team up and patrol the area constantly. Caleb had overheard his father saying that the ship was as good as ready to start and they could take off the next day if they had a mind to. But Caleb doubted that would happen.

He pulled at the strap holding his P-90 and checked that the old Zat was in his thigh holster before he joined Hernandez at the bottom of the ramp. “You and I will be pairing up one of the Athosians,” the Colonel said, pointing at Josh talking quietly to two Athosian women at the edge of the clearing. They had a similar stature: smallish and slim, although the younger woman looked fit enough to lift a boulder and her eyebrows over the dark eyes were thick and scowling. She looked downright dangerous the way she frowned at him. Which crime had he committed already?!

The older woman must be in her late forties or early fifties, while the girl seemed to be a bit younger than him and Josh.

As they approached, the younger woman with the dark brown hair turned to look at Caleb and brushed a strand of hair out of her eye, he spotted a tattoo encircling her left lower arm, a thin band of black triangles set in four neat rows. Hadn’t he seen something like that somewhere recently?

“You must be Caleb,” the older red-haired woman said, making Caleb whirl his head around.

“Huh?”

The woman smiled brightly at him. “Caleb Lorne?”

Hernandez gave an audible sigh next to him, but Caleb didn’t turn to look at him. “Yeah?” He’d never seen that woman before, but then again, almost everybody on this ruddy planet knew who he was. He ought to get used to this.

“I’m Emma Rogers, I was a member of the expedition back in the day. This is my daughter Eva.”

“Right.” Caleb nodded once. How could this woman be so cheery? “Hi,” he said, nodding at Eva, who shoved her hands into the pockets of her trousers.

“Should we go join your team then, _Doctor_ Murdoch?” she said, after a curt nod.

“Huh?” Josh said, echoing Caleb without seeming to notice. Eva rolled her eyes. “See you later,” she said quietly to Hernandez, Caleb and her mother, before she led the way to where Jebson and Durham were already waiting for them. Josh lagged a few feet behind, but when he caught up to Eva, Caleb heard him ask whether she liked chocolate. How could that guy eat so much?

“Should we get goin’?” Emma asked and Hernandez nodded brusquely.

“We’re to patrol South West of the village, where Lieutenant Lorne and Emmagan were found earlier today.”

Caleb would never get over how businesslike the leader of his team could be. He was never unfriendly but seemed somewhat distant all the time. If anything, this guy was exactly the kind of military man you would find in an old-fashioned TV-show.

As they made their way towards the path leading into the village, Caleb watched as Emma Rogers turned to look around at the ship and Caleb followed her gaze. Ronon, Halling and his parents were just leaving the ship and Ronon looked as sullen as ever. Maybe even more so when he looked at the three of them leaving together.

Caleb turned to look back at Emma, who had stopped smiling now.

“How well do you know the area?” Hernandez asked and Emma raised her eyebrow when she turned her attention to him.

“You mean for someone who’s lived here for twenty-three years?”

Hernandez stared at her for a moment, then gave her one of his rare smirks. “Right,” he said. “Sorry.”

Shaking her head, she picked up the pace and then turned right into the thicket. “Well, you’re right. I may have grown up on a ranch, but my husband and daughter are even more outdoorsy than me.”

Caleb scoffed and caught Emma’s eye. She was frowning slightly, and Caleb shrugged. “Not funny?”

She didn’t comment immediately but led the way. Hernandez dropped back a bit, keeping an eye out for anything unusual. Somehow Caleb doubted that whoever had attacked Grace and Torren still lingered around. Whatever they wanted, they’d gotten it already.

“It was a bit funny,” she conceded, cocking her head and looking at him thoughtfully. As though she was about to say something.

Caleb cut her off with a low groan. “Please don’t tell me I take after either one of my parents. I can’t take that any more.”

“Now, who’s being funny?” she asked and Caleb looked over his shoulder at Hernandez.

The brown eyes met his. “Oh, we do that all the time when you’re not around, Doctor,” he grinned. “Just be grateful you’re not your sister. Her callsign speaks volumes.”

“What is her callsign?” Emma asked curiously.

Hernandez just smiled and adjusted his cap.

Emma pushed away a couple of ferns and kept walking, her feet sure on the forest floor. 

“Are you and your family coming back with us?” Caleb asked curiously. He couldn’t help but wonder who might be willing to come. Would he want to go back after such a long time?

Emma’s face darkened. “It came up last night,” she said, her eyes trained on something far ahead as they made their way. But she didn’t elaborate. And somehow Caleb couldn’t help but think his question had gone too far.

She cleared her throat. “So, what are you doing here, Caleb?” she asked curiously, changing the subject and Caleb turned to look at Hernandez again, who merely raised his eyebrow at him. God, he really needed to find a way to be more confident around these people.

“I have a PhD in Archaeology, actually. Found an artefact and that kind of dragged me into this.”

“Ah,” Emma smiled at that. “So you _are_ like your mother.”

“How about your daughter?” Caleb asked quickly so as to avoid that discussion. “Does she take after you? Were you an airman?”

Emma laughed out loud and looked up at the sky for a moment. “No, and my job description would not have qualified me for a two-decade stay on a different world without any access to books.”

“Excuse me?”

“I’m a linguist,” she explained. “PhD. I worked with your mom.”

“Ah… well…” Caleb looked her up and down. Why was it that he could more easily imagine this woman living on another world than his mother? Wasn’t that just unfair? “Sorry, Doctor Rogers.”

“No problem, Doctor Lorne.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right.. so that happened a lot faster than I could possibly have anticipated. What's going on here though? Hmmm… I wonder… In the next chapter we're returning our attention to Torren and Grace! Or maybe to Evan and Alex? … who can tell?
> 
> Well, I can, but I'm not gonna. :-P
> 
> A huge thank you goes out to Traveler's Chick who not only lent me her characters Eva and Emma, but who also helped me bringing them to life within this timeline. She put a lot of trust in me and I really, really appreciate that! Go read her story "Tempus Fugit" and every other story about Emma Rogers and Eva (not giving that last name yet) straight away.


	35. Chapter 35

** Chapter 35 **

_2034_

Alex’s eyes widened when she spotted the woman walking away with Caleb. She hadn’t been at the meeting the previous evening, but Alex remembered her from years ago. Emma Rogers had worked closely together with Alex and Jonas on a couple of projects, including the enormous task of sorting files and translations. The work on the steles and what they had recovered from the meeting point was especially on Alex’s mind as she watched the other woman talk with Caleb and Hernandez before they vanished into the forest.

“Is that Doctor Rogers?” she asked, hoping for confirmation.

Alex felt Ronon’s eyes rest on her, forcing her to turn her head to look at him. Ronon’s upper lip twitched and after a moment, he said, almost cautiously: “It is.”

Alex let out a long breath. Another person she’d known had made it here. Without meaning to Alex had started a list of people, and she hesitantly added Emma Rogers to it.

A list felt wrong, and if anything, shouldn’t they cross the survivors off the list of casualties? A list which would never make it onto a monument for as long as the Stargate Program remained secret?

But there it was. That list. And Alex repeated the names in her head:

Emma Rogers.

Amelia Banks.

Ronon Dex.

Three. It meant there were still seventeen names to be added to that list. The number of possible survivors kept shrinking, and the thought twisted her gut. Who else had made it out of that death trap their Gate Room had become in the final moments of their expedition? Her fingers twitched as she made to reach for Evan’s hand, but she forced herself to cross her arms over her chest instead as her eyes followed the patrol teams leaving the clearing.

“Is there any way others might want to talk to us as well?” Evan knew what to say before she could even fathom to find the right words. It was his job and it had never been hers. She’d always relied more on the team leaders to do the talking upon first contact. Only that this wasn’t first contact. The low level of hostility still hung heavily in the air. The prospect of returning home must made it even worse for some people.

Halling nodded. “They do,” he said. “A couple of refugees only returned here this morning, but we kept most of them out of talks yesterday anyway. The other survivors and their families want to meet with you around noon and I believe afterwards Guide will want to talk with you as well.”

Great. A meeting with the Wraith on top of everything else. Well, if that wasn’t exactly the thing they needed right now, Alex didn’t know what was. After spending the entire morning first in the infirmary and then with Halling, Ronon, Carter and Evan organizing patrols, all Alex wanted to do now was to take a shower and then sit with Grace and Torren.

Again she watched as Evan reacted. This was routine. Even after years of not going through the Gate on a regular basis, he was still the perfect team leader, and it seemed as though, for the first time, she figured that he had been chosen for this position, not just because he had always been good at following orders, but also because he was communicative when he needed to be. He was persuasive. He was well-suited for this job, because he could lead easily, no matter how tired he was. Only the dark shadows under his eyes told the story of how little sleep he’d gotten, but his posture was the same as it had always been when encountering a difficult situation and his blue eyes were full of purpose when he spoke again. “We will come to the village as soon as we can,” he promised.

They waited there at the bottom of the ramp until Ronon and Halling were both out of earshot before he gently touched her lower back and his eyes softened when he looked at her again. “Are you okay?”

Alex shook her head. Carter would already be waiting for him in her office. She couldn’t take up more of his time. “It’ll be alight.” The frown on his face almost made her take back the words. “I’m just going to go to the infirmary and check up on the kids. It’ll help.”

“I’ll come up with you.”

She could sense there was no use arguing with him about this. Instead, she slipped her hand into his. There wasn’t anyone looking at them right now anyway.

_Jonas rubbed his nose with the inside of his elbow. His eyes were fixed on Sheppard. “How’s Torren dealing with it all?”_

_“Well...” Sheppard cleared his throat. “I think he likes me. I’m just worried about what his father is gonna say when we get back and I’ve bonded with him.”_

_“Well,” Evan said, “Kanaan and Teyla separated two years ago… and it’s not like you’re replacing him. We’ll be back there.”_ Keep it up, old boy, _the voice in his head muttered._ It’s already been six months and we haven’t heard back from the IOA yet. _“And you started dating her half a year later. I mean, it’s just natural that he’s bonding with you, right?”_

_“Oh, have another beer, Daddy,” Sheppard muttered grumpily._

_Two weeks away from it all. That was more than any one of them could have asked for. And if he was honest, he had expected about anything after their return from that disastrous last mission_ but _the break Landry insisted on. The only good thing that could be said about the trip to P3-S351 was that nobody had died. At least they’d managed to blow up one of the Furlings’ ships. That wasn’t nothing. It wasn’t good either though, given they’d blown an informants’ cover and risked the lives of the entire population of that planet. Given that this was supposed to be nothing but a mere recon mission lasting three days maximum, with the added bonus of a bit of archaeological digging for Alex and Jonas, things had turned quite sour indeed._

_And now here they were, in a holiday home in Northern Italy. They hadn’t told anyone outside their teams that they were going on a spontaneous vacation, or Alex’s mother would have insisted they visit them, or Evan’s family would have dropped by in Colorado Springs. No, what they needed was some time to themselves with friends. Too bad Murdoch and Anna had decided to visit Murdoch’s parents instead._

_Evan couldn’t quite remember when exactly Sheppard had entered that circle of friend. Probably around the same time the children had started playing together and Sheppard had become Teyla’s significant other. Life was weird sometimes. Or had it been before that? The truth was, Evan had always liked the Colonel._

_With a slight nod, Evan took the cold bottle Sheppard had already opened for him while he kept stirring the sauce. “Thanks.” Evan took a short sip. He remembered all too well the last time he had had a beer with Jonas and Sheppard. Murdoch had been there as well then, as had been McKay, Woolsey and Beckett. Somehow they had all shown up more or less at the same time in the_ Daedalus’ _commissary the first night aboard the ship after they all started to realize the utter defeat and the loss of their expedition members. It’d been a quiet occasion then._

_“They’ve been out forever, huh?” Jonas said, grating the last bit of cheese into a bowl._

_“The beach isn’t further than ten minutes, but I guess they have to haul them back now,” Sheppard said with a slight grin. He was leaning against the counter._

_“Well, this is gonna take at least another hour,” Evan said, taking a step back to turn down the heat. He threw a quick look out the window, at the burnt grass and the woodstove on the paved terrace. The moment Alex had seen it, her eyes had started to glow and for a second there Evan thought he’d have to build one in their backyard. And then he remembered they would return to Pegasus once this war was over and won… if that ever happened. He quickly pushed the thought away and focused back on the sauce._

_“An hour?!” Sheppard exclaimed incredulously, his eyes wide. “Are you kidding me? That sauce looks ready to me. Just look! Everything’s in. And you’ve been stirring forever.”_

_At this Evan couldn’t hold back a smile. “Just because everything’s in, doesn’t mean it’s ready. This sauce needs to simmer and I haven’t even started on the bechamel.” He almost snuck in a “sir” but he quickly bit it back. Sheppard wouldn’t like that. Not in their current situation. Not on holiday._

_“I can do that.”_

_“No,” Evan said firmly with a furrowed brow. If he wanted anyone to mess up one of the sauces, he’d ask Alex. “Get the pasta if you want to help at all.”_

_“Wow,” Sheppard breathed, exchanging a glance with Jonas, who merely grinned. “Off-duty Lorne is bossy.”_

_“On-duty Lorne can be bossy, too,” Jonas said. “You just never notice on missions, because McKay is hogging all the attention.”_

_“Huh.” Sheppard reached for a spoon from the jar of utensils on the counter, dipped it into the sauce and slipped the spoon into his mouth. “Tastes good by the way.” He lifted the spoon in appreciation, waved it around once and made to dip it in again, when Evan slapped his hand, before the metal could break the dark red surface. “Wow! Would you’ve done that to Alex as well?”_

_“No, my wife knows she has to get a new spoon,” Evan said, grinning at the pot. He had to admit, being around his former commanding officer in his free time had taken some getting used to. But things had changed. They were both holding the same rank now, were both leading a team at the SGC and had both been part of that disastrous recent mission._

_“I’m pretty damn sure you don’t slap your wife, Lorne.”_

_“Well, you’re not my wife, Sheppard.” Evan carefully placed the spoon on the pot and nodded at Jonas who handed him the next pot for the bechamel. They might have only been back on Earth for half a year, but already Jonas and his wife Amanda had moved into a house not far away from him and Alex and the two of them had been over plenty of times. Jonas knew exactly what Evan needed at what point when he was making lasagna._

_“You two are cute,” Jonas said before Sheppard had the chance to shoot something back. “Should I tell Alex and Teyla, or would you like to do that yourselves?”_

_“Nah, I’d better do that myself.” Sheppard slapped Evan on the shoulder. “Here they come.”_

_Evan followed his gaze to the huge windows overlooking the garden and the first thing he saw was that Alex was carrying Caleb and that his son was crying. His heart sank, but Jonas was by the door before he even had the chance to move._

_Torren was through the door first, helping Jonas hold it open for Alex and Caleb. His son’s cries were heart breaking and the moment Alex stepped inside, he saw the rash underneath his foot. “Baking soda!” Amanda shouted at Jonas, who immediately jumped into action while Evan rushed forward._

_Alex carefully put Caleb down on the counter while Teyla ushered Grace and Lucas into the next room. Out of the corner of his eye Evan saw Torren clinging to Sheppard’s pant leg._

_“It’s okay, honey,” he heard Alex say as Evan carefully lifted Caleb’s leg._

_“It hurts, Dad!” Caleb wailed and Evan nodded, ignoring the tears shooting into his own eyes when he saw the sensitive skin tainted with dark red pustules._

_“Jellyfish?” he asked quietly, looking up into the flushed face. Caleb’s eyes were so wide he could barely make out the blue. The imprints of the thin arms were clearly visible._

_“Amanda already treated it with sea water when he stepped into it,” Alex said, her voice calmer than his own had been._

_Caleb couldn’t form any more words, but kept crying, his pudgy hands covering his eyes. Next second Amanda was beside Evan, holding a small bowl with a whitish paste. “What is it?” he asked as Amanda gently pushed him away and patted Caleb’s cheek._

_“It’ll be okay,” she said again. “Remember that sea water made it better already?”_

_Caleb nodded, though he wouldn’t look at her._

_“Sea water and baking soda,” Amanda said quietly as she lifted Caleb’s foot again to look at it. Boy, was he glad Amanda was a nurse. “Works miracles.”_

_“Dad? Is Caleb gonna be okay?”_

_It wasn’t Grace who had spoken. Or Lucas._

_Evan turned his head._

_Torren was still holding the fabric of Sheppard’s leg, looking up at the man who had stepped into his life as a father figure some time ago, his lip trembling. Evan watched as Sheppard stared at Torren open-mouthed and carefully knelt next to him, his lips parting and closing as he returned Torren’s gaze._

_Evan’s head snapped around when Caleb’s hand dug into his shirt. Without waiting Caleb to ask for it, he threw his arm around his boy’s tiny shoulders, who clutched at him, sobbing loudly as Amanda applied the salve._

_“Daddy?” Torren asked._

_Sheppard pulled a face and nodded. “He’ll be okay,” he said hoarsely and he visibly forced himself to accept that name. Because, how on Earth was he supposed to tell this boy not to call him that?_

Torren and Grace were both awake when Alex and Evan entered the infirmary. Their heads turned around to the door the moment they stepped inside.

“How is everything?” Evan asked casually as he approached the beds.

“Headache’s as good as gone,” Torren answered, his eyes clear and wide awake. Montgomery was nowhere to be seen and in a way Evan was relieved to be alone with the three of them.

“Good to hear.” Alex brushed her hand over Grace’s cheek and sat down on the edge of the bed.

“Montgomery said we could go back to active duty tomorrow.”

Evan realized too late he was pulling a face and he silently cursed himself for it. He knew he should stop babying his daughter. “We’ll see,” he said evasively and he watched as Grace’s expression shifted from defiant to merely annoyed. Well, that was something. And he decided to keep himself from scolding the two of them until they were fully back on their feet.

“There are a couple of Earth names on the steles in the graveyard,” Grace said and Evan nodded. What else should he have expected? But his eyes shifted to Torren. He didn’t have to guess why the boy had made his way there. Torren had been shown around the village before anyone else, and rightly so. His parents were Athosians, so he should have been the first to meet as many people as possible. And one person at least hadn’t been among those in the settlement.

“Who?” he heard Alex say, her voice trembling slightly, but Evan held Torren’s gaze.

“I don’t remember all of them,” Grace said, brushing her hand over her eyes. “There was a French name… an Italian name… I’d have to go back.”

“We will,” Alex said quietly, touching Grace’s forehead.

“Now I think about it, that place looked familiar.”

“Grace.” Alex shook her head. “You’ve been unconscious for a while. Get some rest. Things will look different in the morning, I promise.”

“My father,” Torren said hoarsely, his brown eyes dark with sorrow. “Kanaan.”

Evan swallowed hard. What it must feel like to find that someone who had loved you and must have thought about you every single day was dead and you didn’t remember that person at all. “I’m sorry, Torren,” he said sincerely. “He was a good man.”

Torren nodded and looked up at the ceiling again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I learned something about treating jellyfish stings while writing this. Writing is the perfect opportunity to keep learning, be it about the medicinal uses of baking soda or getting rid of a body (something I learned on Breaking Bad: do NOT dissolve the body in acid in your bathtub!! WE ALL KNOW THAT NOW!)
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and commenting! I wanted to keep working on the actual storyline, but I keep distracting myself with heart warming and/or painful flashbacks. Please forgive me. But I had this insane idea of skipping almost thirty years back when I started working on this…


	36. Chapter 36

** Chapter 36 **

_2016_

_He wasn’t asleep. His breathing wasn’t deep enough, and although he was holding their children in his arms, his shoulders were tense._

_Alex was lying on the side, looking at his profile and their children as night passed and morning slowly came. Dawn was still far away, but that didn’t mean time was anything they could waste. After their usual dinner routine, Alex had to tell Caleb and Grace that she would have to leave them for a couple of days. Of course they didn’t know why or where she was going. What she’d told them was that she had to go to a conference and it wasn’t even the biggest lie._

_She saw him shift and kiss both Caleb and Grace. Their eyes met and the look in his eyes sent a shiver down her spine._

_Neither of them said a word as they looked at each other with the background music of Grace’s soft snoring. The air in their bedroom was warm despite the snow falling thickly outside. Getting to Cheyenne Mountain wouldn’t be easy._

_She carefully reached out to him and brushed her fingertips up his arm, revelling in the softness of the hair on his forearms. As usual Evan got the message without her needing to speak. Slowly, he disentangled himself from Grace and Caleb. The two of them were already too far gone to realize their father was leaving them in the big bed._

_Once they were outside in the corridor, Evan’s hands found Alex’s waist immediately. “Did you sleep at all?”_

_Alex shook her head. She would go through the Gate on her own. Daniel was supposed to accompany her, but after an injury on SG-1’s last mission, he was now on bed rest. She had no doubt she’d be fine, though. The Nox weren’t at war with the Furlings and they would do everything to keep Alex out of harm’s way. She had to believe that._

_“Did_ you _sleep?” she asked hesitantly, knowing that he hadn’t._

_“Nope… it’s kind of hard with two kids hanging onto you.”_

_Alex laughed and quickly covered her mouth so as not to wake the children. How was she this nervous? They didn’t normally let Caleb and Grace sleep in their bed, but it’d seemed right tonight. And whenever they made this exception, both Caleb and Grace moved in sleep to cling to Evan. Not that she blamed them. Evan Lorne was undoubtedly the best person to cuddle._

_His mischievous grin sent her heart fluttering and she wrapped her arms tightly about him to receive his kiss. Saying goodbye never came easy to either one of them, but over the years it’d become harder. Somehow one of them was always on the verge of leaving. Of going to another planet. Neither one of them had quit their team yet, and although Alex knew she’d be the first to resign her job. She tried ignoring the sinking sensation in the pit of her stomach at the thought._

No.

Don’t think about it.

Not right now.

“ _Living room?” he breathed against her lips, pulling her tight as his hands roamed over her bottom. He was so close to her, she could almost feel his heart pounding against his ribs._

_“Quietly,” she whispered._

_“We should’ve gone for a house with four bedrooms.”_

_Alex laughed again and pulled his hair. “I like this house. Lots of memories.”_

_“Yes, that one time when you told me we were good in bed together and then I actually put you in bed. Tucked you in…”_

_Another chuckle escaped her lips and she grabbed his shirt. “We should stop having sex-“_

_“No!”_

_“- every time before one of us has to leave.”_

_“Right. That sounds better,” he whispered and leaned in to kiss her again. “Make it a nightly thing. Like it was those first few months.”_

_Alex grinned against his lips and reached for his hands. “Downstairs, Colonel,” she said. “Now.”_

_2034_

“Isn’t it kind of weird to have your parents around at your job?”

Grace blinked and turned around to look at Torren. His hair was tousled, but his eyes were wide awake. “What?”

“I mean, they’re always there. Your mom is in the commissary all the time. Your dad’s in charge.”

“You’ve heard me complain about it multiple times,” she answered. “Take a guess.”

Torren laughed softly and turned to look up at the ceiling again. Montgomery still hadn’t allowed them to get up, though by now Grace was feeling perfectly fine. Well, as long as she didn’t count that weird sense of unease when she thought about what had happened to them. Somehow she’d always imagined alien abductions to be a bit more spectacular. But then again, she and Torren hadn’t been abducted, had they?

“What are you smiling at?”

“Something silly,” she said, wishing his bed wasn’t so far away so she could at least touch his fingers. The smile vanished from her face. “I’m really sorry about your father,” she said, eyes still trained on him while he wouldn’t look at her.

“I know.”

What else was there to say? And yet, she felt just stating she was sorry, even if this wasn’t the first time, wasn’t enough. Nothing could be enough. Everything Torren knew about his father were the things his mother and Sheppard had told him. He couldn’t what he looked like, let alone recall his voice. The photos which Teyla must still have couldn’t mean anything.

Tears shot into her eyes at the mere thought that one day she might forget her own father’s voice. That one day there would be nothing of his left but his paintings, photos and blurred memories.

“You said you thought that place looked familiar?” Torren asked and Grace quickly brushed the tears from her eyes.

“It’s weird, right? It didn’t even come to me when we were there.” She was determined not to use the word _graveyard_. “But later… I don’t know.”

“Okay.” Torren cleared his throat.

“It was probably just the sedative.”

“Probably,” he agreed and was quiet for a moment. She heard the soft rustling of fabric and turned to see him sitting up, his legs dangling off the edge of the bed. “I’ve been feeling weird ever since we got here… my mom told me this might happen in proximity to the Wraith, but this is super strange. And I’ve been feeling that even before that… attack, whatever it was.”

“What does it feel like?”

“What? The Wraith?” Torren took a moment to think about it. Everything was quiet except for the low hum of machinery around them. Slowly, Grace sat up as well, hesitated, then moved over to sit next to Torren. Their fingers found each other without a moment’s hesitation. “Dark?” he finally said, clearly struggling to find an appropriate word for it. He shook his head. “But not in a bad way? It’s almost like something is lulling me in. It’s strangely comforting. I can imagine why Mom always said it’s unsettling considering what they are.”

He put his other hand on Grace’s as well and lifted it to his lips.

“Can you hear them?” she whispered, remembering old mission reports from Atlantis about attempts to communicate with the Wraith. Ancient neural interfaces were apparently nothing compared to the complexity with which Wraith Hives operated.

“No… but I’m not trying to either.” He lifted her thumb to his lips. “It’s something I’m not exactly looking forward to.”

No big surprise there. So far, Grace had only laid eyes on the Wraith her parents called _Todd_ , but those cat-like eyes and slightly shimmering skin in combination with how he stood and talked and bared his terribly sharp teeth had creeped her out. This alien was dangerous, even if he and his Hive had decided to ally themselves with Humans instead of feeding on them.

_Gaia, the Nox homeworld, was undoubtedly one of the most beautiful planets Alex had ever seen. The forest below the floating city didn’t appear to be too different from any other she had ever been in, but there was something in the air that seemed to make the air tickle in your nose with every breath you took. Like there was electricity in it. Intangible, yet always present._

_She was leaning against a balustrade at the edge of the city, looking down at the treetops and the Gate below. As far as she knew, no human, apart from Daniel, had ever set foot in this place. In fact, she’d been surprised the Nox wanted her in this place at all._

_“Doctor Lorne?” a calm voice said behind her and Alex slowly turned around to look at the small woman waiting for her at door leading into a large assembly hall._

_“Lya,” Alex said, recalling her name from when she’d visited Atlantis with the Furling ambassador. “Thank you again for having me.”_

_Lya nodded, her dark eyes almost closing as she bowed to Alex with that unearthly smile on her lips. “When we met the last time there was little time to talk about those writings you found.” It was the main reason for her visit, yet not a single Nox had been available to talk with her so far about them._

_“Right.” Alex cleared her throat and picked up her tablet from the narrow table. She’d sat on the floor before, her tablet in her lap, and had forgotten about it when she got up again to look at the forest. Alex had been here two days already. One of the younger Nox had kept her company on occasion as she stayed in one of the larger buildings on the outskirts of the city. She almost had a bad conscience for the sense of holiday she was feeling here. There was no way she could be anxious here, no matter how much she missed her family. This place was truly incredible, with the governmental buildings situated on the outside of the vast city, surrounding an enormous park-like area in the centre of the metropolis. Everything seemed light and ancient at the same time with trees and delicate plants in various shades of green and brown growing out of every nook and cranny. And yet, this place never appeared to be dirty or untidy. Every single room, every building and every piece of furniture was utilitarian and the design perfectly balanced. Evan would have gone insane here, desperate to draw and paint everything and knowing that the Nox would never allow a soldier to recreate their capital on paper._

_“Shall we go inside?” Lya asked and Alex nodded eagerly, following the Nox woman inside. “I am deeply sorry we brought destruction to your home,” Lya said, the gravity in her voice taking Alex by surprise._

_“It wasn’t your intention.” Alex had almost said_ fault _, but that would’ve been wrong. The Nox had introduced the Tau’ri to the Furlings. And the Furlings had attacked Atlantis. They had killed wherever they could, claiming each and every planet that fell into their hands._

_“No, it was not.” Lya moved to the three comfortable poufs by the window and sat down, her back and shoulders straight as she observed Alex. “And yet, it happened. We did not know the Furlings would attack you. When they reached out to us again, after millennia of silence, they appeared to be the friends we’d lost contact with so long ago.”_

_Alex fought hard to bite back a vicious comment. This wasn’t the first time she’d heard this story, but it surely should have made the Nox suspicious that the Furlings only wanted to contact them again once the Asgard and the Ori were out of the picture. Not that the Furlings wouldn’t have been a match for either one of those races, but clearly conquering two galaxies was easier with these two enemies out of the picture._

_Clearing her throat again, Alex opened the folder containing the pictures of the steles they had found. She tapped on the icon and handed it to Lya. “We found steles with Nox writing on it in various locations in the Pegasus galaxy. There were other alphabets there as well,” she said, swiping over the screen in Lya’s hand and indicating a picture of the writing nobody had been familiar with, “but there was Nox writing there as well.”_

_Lya looked at the pictures with a frown and, having picked up how to work the tablet, started swiping through the pictures as well. “This is incredible,” she whispered slowly. “There have been hints that before the Ancients left this galaxy to explore, Nox had moved abroad as well, but there has been next to no definitive proof.”_

_Alex smiled despite herself, the confirmation as thrilling as the thousands of research questions now tumbling down on her. “Did they return here? Do you know?” It wasn’t the most important question, but it seemed like one of the easier ones._

_Lya shook her head sadly and kept swiping. “This place,” she said, “it looks familiar.” She held up the tablet and the drawing Evan had made of the fortress in which Ba’al had held them prisoner appeared._

_“It does?” Alex asked, incredulously. Before, she’d only ever associated the shape and layout of that place with Castel del Monte in Italy. “What do you mean?”_

_“The Ancients,” Lya said, “they had similar structures in their cities before they vanished and-” The sound of a soft bell rang through the room and Lya immediately got up. For a moment she looked almost nervous as she wiped her hands on her wide, flowing skirt. “Would you excuse me for a moment, I have to attend to our other guests.”_

“Nervous?” Carter asked with a slight smirk and so quietly that only Evan could hear her. For a moment he allowed himself a smile and he turned to look at her.

“Aren’t you?”

Her smile grew a bit wider and he nodded. They were on their way into the village again, accompanied by a small guard consisting of five Marines. As they passed the first houses and Evan looked back over his shoulder, he could already make out the beginnings of a path leading to their ship, whereas another one led off into another direction, probably the Gate.

“It’s a shame Woolsey didn’t get to be here.” There was no frustration in her voice. No resignation. When Woolsey had taken over command from her, nobody had been thrilled, but within a very short amount of time, Richard Woolsey had earned the respect from nearly every single expedition member. He’d resigned his job and cut ties with every government agency the moment it’d become clear there would not be a relaunch of the expedition and Evan had always respected him for it.

He knew Woolsey had regretted Earth’s stance on this point until the day he died. And Woolsey would have been thrilled to see them all back here, no matter the tensions and uncertainties. “It’s taken us too long to get back here, no matter what.” Evan caught Alex’s eye. She was walking next to Emma Rogers and Caleb. Rogers and Caleb seemed to have hit it off straight away, though Rogers hadn’t talked much to Alex yet. There didn’t seem to be too much resentment there, but even so Rogers’ smile never quite reached her eyes.

Within minutes they were in the centre of the village and headed straight for the pub again. There were a couple of Athosians outside, but Evan had to admit, he didn’t recognize a single face. Twenty years as a concept was hard enough to grasp, even when you spent them watching your children grow in an everchanging world. But to return to a place that had changed fundamentally in that time was downright devastating.

The moment they passed through the door, Evan’s eyes roamed the room as if searching for someone and his heart seemed to stop whenever he saw a face that looked familiar. There were Sixteen of them. He didn’t even need to count. Sixteen older men and women, accompanied by younger people, some in their late teens, some a bit younger.

_Children,_ he thought, fighting for composure. They’d had children. Of course they had. At some point they hadn’t just started building houses, as Alex had pointed out to him, but they had started families.

Quickly pushing the thought aside when a slim and tall, black man approached him Evan straightened his shoulders as a wave of relief flooded over him. “Woeste,” he said, searching those deep brown eyes.

“General.” Woeste’s raised eyebrow did nothing to diminish the brightness of his smile as he grabbed Evan by the shoulders and pulled him into a bone crushing hug. “You look well,” Woeste laughed, clapping Evan on the shoulder and then turning to Carter, ignoring all military protocol. “Good to see you,” he hesitated. “Colonel?”

“Colonel is fine, Captain.” Carter sounded a bit more cautious but the overall tension inside the room seemed to have evaporated as everyone started talking again, though eyes were constantly trained on him and Carter.

“Oh, right,” Woeste nodded, his eyes narrowing for a moment. “Sorry, most of us left the Air Force behind when… you know.”

Evan nodded briefly. “I-“

“Ronon’s told us everything.” He really didn’t seem too bitter, Evan thought, as Woeste grabbed his arm and pulled him towards another man with black and grey carefully groomed curls.

This time Evan was prepared for the hug as Asim Nabi pulled him close to his chest. Two members of his team, the ones he’d grieved for the most, though up to this day he hadn’t admitted it to anyone. Jonas, Woeste, Nabi and him, had been through so much together and seeing them again, safe and sound, was a massive weight off his chest.

Knowing that there were people who belonged to them was one thing.

Seeing them was overwhelming. But he let it happen, shaking hands, and forcing himself to save that speech for when they had all settled down. And boy, would that speech make him feel even worse.

Really, Woolsey would have done a much better job at this than he, Evan, ever could.

“Is that Murdoch’s kid?” Woeste asked as Evan was about ready to call everyone to attention, but his eyes kept roaming the familiar faces. Faces he’d thought lost for such a long time. Woeste, Nabi, Banks, Rogers, Kavanagh, Yilmaz, Teldy, Porter, Novak, Kleinman, Stackhouse, Berger, Stahl, Davis, Williams, Kowalcyk. Sixteen names. And four people weren’t here. Dex was on patrol, apparently, but where were the other three?

“Lorne?”

Evan blinked and turned to look at Woeste. “What? Yes. Yes, that’s Joshua Murdoch,” he said, barely catching himself and adding: “PhD.” Josh was talking quietly to a young woman, the one who’d looked sullen that very morning as she led Josh and his team into the forest.

“Well, he’s hitting it off with Dex’s daughter, isn’t he?”

“Ronon?” Evan asked, his eyebrows raised. He’d almost added _Are you sure?_

At that exact moment, Josh laughed out loud and he could see a small smile on the girl’s lips. Things really had changed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everybody, I‘m back again and I sincerely hope you liked this chapter. Once again, a huge thank you to Traveler’s Chick for lending me her girls Emma and Eva.
> 
> In the next couple of flashbacks we will spend some more time on the Nox homeworld.
> 
> Quick question though: in the “list” of survivors I’ve given you, are you particularly happy to see a name there, or extra angry? 😊 Let me know.


	37. Chapter 37

** Chapter 37 **

_2034_

“Montgomery let you out after all,” Lucas said with a wide grin that made his eyes crinkle.

Grace scoffed as she entered the armoury where her team was already assembled. “Took some convincing, but yeah.” She reached for her TAC vest and slipped it on. She wasn’t entirely sure her father didn’t have anything to do with it, but she was grateful she didn’t have to stay put in the infirmary or the quarters she had to share with Ferretti.

“Good to see you back on your feet, Lieutenant,” Miller said and Grace nodded appreciatively. The Major had visited her the previous evening after a day of patrolling the surrounding area.

“Thanks, Ma’am.”

Miller smiled at her briefly and waited until Grace had all her things ready. “Off we go, then.” She led the way out of the armoury, Ferretti beside her and Grace fell into step with Lucas.

“How’s Torren?”

“Okay,” Grace answered, checking again that the safety on her P-90 was on. These things had been in commission for decades now and though the model itself had been updated slightly, it was still one of the most reliable weapons out there. “He’s back in the village now, talking to some of the Athosians.” He was still nervous about being here, but that didn’t stop him from going out and exploring. “Josh and Caleb went with him, if you want to know,” she kept looking ahead, but Lucas didn’t comment. Maybe because he didn’t want to. Or maybe because they’d reached the elevator where Miller and Ferretti were already waiting for them, Grace didn’t know.

_He couldn’t believe the brilliance of his idea. The plastic covering not only the table, but the area underneath it as well had been a stroke of genius, and he was fairly confident the plastic chairs would be alright, too once he got them outside to hose them down._

_Evan had only left the room for ten minutes to talk to Ellen on the phone, and when he returned to the kitchen, he saw that Grace and Caleb hadn’t wasted a second playing with the acrylic colours he’d put out for them._

_“This is your own fault,” Evan said quietly to himself, reaching for the ancient apron before he even dared approach the two colourful goblins sitting at the long kitchen table._

_They immediately turned to look at him, grinning widely. The yellow streak on Grace’s forehead was identical in colour to the paint on Caleb’s brush and Grace’s fingers were just as blue as the handprint on Caleb’s cheek and lower lip. How had they managed that?! They had the table between them!?_

_“Having fun?” he asked, hands on his hips and fighting hard not to return his childrens’ smiles._

_“Daddy, look what I drawed!” Grace held up a painting on canvas. Despite the obvious smudges of paint on the table, the floor, herself and her brother, she’d used colour only sparingly unlike Caleb, whose canvas was covered with the stuff, swirls of red and green, blue and purple and red methodically smeared over it._

_“What did you draw?” Evan asked, hesitating for just a moment before he sat on the chair next to Grace’s which only sported a bit of yellow paint on the backrest._

_The edges of the canvas were covered in Grace’s dark blue handprints and he put it carefully down on the plastic to look at the drawing of five people around a house with a long stretch of grass beneath the house._

_“It’s us!” Grace exclaimed but before she could elaborate, Caleb interrupted her:_

_“Dad, can I have another canvas?”_

_Evan looked up and smiled at him. “Sure.” And enthusiastically Caleb reached for another square canvas. “This one’s beautiful,” he said, pointing at Caleb’s picture._

_Caleb merely nodded and, avoiding Grace’s protests, Evan quickly said: “Yours is beautiful, too!” he said, looking at the five people, four of which had blond hair and the fifth black, spiky hair._

_“I drawed you and Mommy, and Caleb and me and Nora.”_

_Evan’s heart stumbled at the name, though he had expected it. He fought for a moment to keep smiling, then leaned in to kiss his daughter’s forehead. Ever since Caleb and Grace had heard the story of their lost sister, they had secretly kept making up stories about her. They were careful not to let Evan and Alex know about them, but he had heard them whisper about Nora quite often. “It’s a good picture,” he said._

_“Can I stop now?” she asked, her eyes trailing over to the stack of puzzles at the other end of the table._

_“Wash up and change first, okay?” He really should ask Grace to tidy up as well, but he saw little use with Caleb still painting. “And take the puzzle to the living room.”_

_Grace nodded, slipped off her chair and slowly made her way to the staircase with Hagrid right on her tail. The tiny yorkie had joined their little family just before Alex had to leave for her mission to Gaia._

_The loud squelching sound turned his attention back to Caleb. The boy added a large blob of pink on a new paper plate, his face contorted with concentration. “What are you making now?” Evan asked, only just realizing that he’d used his mother’s tone of voice. Maybe he should have been an art teacher after all, he thought as he leaned in._

_“Rainbow,” Caleb said, his brow furrowed as he dipped the brush into the glass to clean it of the remnants of blue._

_“Hang on,” Evan said, getting to his feet and moving around the table. He reached for a paper towel on the way and sat next to Caleb. “Okay, look, don’t squish the brush at the bottom. Not if you want to keep using it.”_

_Caleb looked at him with an extra wide grin and Evan had to laugh despite himself._

_“Want me to show you something?”_

_The nod was all he needed as he reached for the smallest canvas on the table, dipped a semi clean brush into the pink blob on Caleb’s plate and applied it to the canvas. He then put the brush into water, wiped it on the paper towel, but only enough for it to stop dripping and there was still plenty of water water on it, before he started spreading the paint. “The more water you use,” he said, “the more fluid the paint gets, and the easier it mixes with other colours.” Once more he put the brush into the water, cleaned it, wiped it dry and dipped the brush into the remnants of red on the edge of Caleb’s plate. “See?” Out of the corner of his eye he saw Caleb nod and he only touched the still liquid paint and they both watched the red start to bleed slowly into the whitish pink, darkening the streak. “Want to try? Might be useful for a rainbow.”_

_“Sure!” Caleb exclaimed enthusiastically. “Can I use yours to practice?”_

_“Absolutely,” Evan said, ruffling Caleb’s hair and getting to his feet when he heard the doorbell and Hagrid started barking._

_“I’ll get it!” Grace shouted, her small feet running down the stairs at breakneck speed. They kept hammering on the wooden steps in a tempo that made his heart stop, but she was at the door before him, safe and sound, and opened the door. “Cam!” she squealed, throwing her not-so-clean hands into the air while Hagrid sniffed enthusiastically at Mitchell’s pants._

_“What a hubbub!” Mitchell laughed, bending down and picking up Grace before she had a chance to complain. “Hey, Princess!” he grinned._

_“I’m_ not!” s _he insisted, but graciously allowed Mitchell to kiss her cheek. “Okay. Look at what I drawed!”_

_Evan sighed and smiled at Grace. “Will you let Cam catch his breath?” He looked up at Mitchell and when he saw the earnest expression beneath his smile, his heart sank._

_“Can I talk to you for a moment?” Mitchell said, pointing over his shoulder at his car, which was parked, not in the driveway, but at the sidewalk, leaving Evan’s car free to leave at any time._

_“Sure,” Evan said. “Go set up the puzzle, honey.”_

_Grace started pouting, but one look from Evan was enough to send her back into the kitchen, past Caleb who was standing in the doorway with a worried expression on his face. “Hi, Cam!” he said and Mitchell waved at him. “I’ll be with you in a sec, buddy.”_

_Evan reached for his jacket and followed Mitchell outside. “What is it?” Evan asked, shivering in the icy wind as he slipped on the jacket. “What’s wrong?”_

_The worst thing wasn’t that Mitchell didn’t try to appease him. It was the way he looked at the house. “Listen,” he said, that word was enough to make Evan’s insides churn. There was a short pause and Mitchell looked at him again. “You should get to base.”_

_“Is she hurt?!” Evan burst out, his hands shaking._

_“Probably not,” Mitchell said, “but she missed the last two check-ins. We dialled the Gate twice and got no response from her, just from the Nox. Murdoch’s team is getting ready as we speak.”_

_“Why didn’t anyone call me?” A question. It was better than the scream building up inside his chest. Alex had been gone for four days now. She should be getting back by now!_

_“I told them not to,” Mitchell looked back at the house, “I told Landry I’d come and get you. The Nox didn’t reveal too much, so they’ll be sending the MALP in about an hour. You should be there. I’ll watch the kids”_

_Evan nodded once. That was all he needed to know and the sense of dread that was filling him was slowly but surely fading away as it was replaced by the need for action. He needed to go. Now. “Thanks,” he breathed, brushing a hand through his hair. There was no questioning it. No time for doubts. “And-“_

_“Don’t worry. If it gets too boring, I’ll ask Vala to come along and help.”_

“What are your plans, then?” Guide said, showing them into a spacious room with a large table placed in its centre.

Evan still wasn’t entirely comfortable and he was glad he had his gun on him at least. The Wraith hadn’t made it a requirement for him or Carter to relinquish their weapons when they beamed onboard, and that alone should put his mind at ease. But it didn’t. Not even with this being the second meeting they’d had with the Wraith leader.

A Hive full of Wraith was more than enough to overwhelm two elderly humans within seconds, no matter how many weapons those humans brought along.

“Regarding…” Evan prompted as Guide gestured to two of the massive high-backed chairs. He couldn’t remember ever being inside a room like this on a Hive. Was it used for eating? If so, then it was clearly reserved for the highest-ranking officers.

Carter sat down first, her eyes never leaving Guide who took a seat opposite her.

“Regarding your further actions in this galaxy,” Guide said. “It’d be nice to know whether we have to fear another attempt at genocide from you.”

Evan bit on his tongue to hold back a vicious remark, because he knew Guide wasn’t wrong. The Tau’ri had first tried eradicating the Wraith, then they’d tried changing them so they wouldn’t be a danger anymore. By Earth’s standards each and every member of the Atlantis expedition should have been brought before the Council of Human Rights, him included.

But before either he or Carter could speak, Guide laughed bitterly. “No matter. Your attempts-“

“I believe you contributed quiet a bit,” Carter interrupted him with a severe frown on her face. “Helping us with the experiments and all.”

Guide nodded in agreement. “I did. But none of this matters anymore. The Wraith are no longer a threat to human lives because they do not need to be. What we need to discuss now is what you are going to do next.”

“You said,” Evan said, “the Furlings are gone.”

Guide nodded.

“How?”

“We do not know. All we can say is that a large portion of this galaxy’s Stargate Network is not working anymore. That the city you called Atlantis is no longer on the planet where you set it down and that no other planet has been attacked by the Furlings.”

Nothing new there. Evan leaned forward, his hands on the table as he returned Guide’s stare. “Well, I suppose with this new information, we could figure out a way to relaunch an expedition to Pegasus.” It might be enough, at least, to secure badly-needed funds for the SGC if there was enough of an incentive there. “If we’re wanted,” he added, fully aware that, even though the Wraith had to deal with massively diminished numbers, they still basically ruled this galaxy.

Guide laughed, throwing back his head and shaking his head. It was a truly unsettling sound and when the laughter had subsided, he looked first at Carter, then at him with a glint in his eyes. “I suppose, if you wanted to come back to explore Ancient artefacts, but leave us and those who follow us alone, we wouldn’t mind. Especially not if you were willing to share.”

Evan exchanged a glance with Carter, wishing for a moment alone with her. He wasn’t entirely sure he was ready to strike a deal with the Wraith.

“What do you want?” Carter asked bluntly and Guide cocked his head slightly, fixing his fierce stare on her now.

“We are a dying species,” Guide said, all mirth gone from his voice, “surely you appreciate what that means?”

Caleb’s head whipped around when he heard Lucas’ laugh. Grace saw him blush once his eyes met Lucas’ and he quickly returned his attention to Josh who was listening intently to what one if the Athosian girls was saying and taking notes all the while.

Grace looked up at Lucas and nudged him in Caleb’s direction. The four others were sitting on a couple of low benches outside the pub, where the few meetings had taken place.

“Mom’s in there, in case you’re wondering,” Caleb said, pointing at the door and decidedly ignoring Lucas sitting down next to him, while the girl told Josh about some ruins several clicks away from here. Ruins which, apparently, her mother had explored and catalogued long ago. But Josh was still eager to hear more. From her, apparently. Not that mother of hers.

Grace eyed him curiously, as he talked to the girl with the long, dark hair. She didn’t seem to smile a lot, but there was a certain rough grace to her. Torren was looking at her and Josh, too, though Torren barely seemed to listen to what they were saying. He seemed distant. Deep in thought. When she joined him in his quarters the previous night, he’s barely talked to her either.

“We could go take a look before you leave,” the girl said cautiously, as though she wasn’t entirely used to being careful with suggestions.

“Torren, are you okay?” Grace asked, keeping herself from telling Josh that it wasn’t at all likely he’d be allowed to go after what had happened to her and Torren.

Torren almost flinched at her touch and looked up at her. “Yeah,” he said, clearing his throat. “Yeah, I’m fine.” But Grace didn’t quite believe him. Not at all. She stroked his neck, completely at a loss of how she could cheer him up, when the door opened and two women stumbled out, arms around each other’s shoulders and giggling madly.

Her mouth completely dry, Grace stared at her mother as she whispered something into the other woman’s ear and the two of them started giggling.

“Mom!” Grace exclaimed, but hers wasn’t the only voice. The dark-haired girl had jumped to her feet, though she sounded more resigned than Grace.

“Yep,” the girl’s mother said, struggling to get out of Alex’s grasp. “I think that’s enough for today.”

“For today,” Alex agreed with a nod. “Though I’ll probably regret this tomorrow, so it’ll have been the last time.” She patted the other woman’s cheek and proceeded to stumble into Grace’s arms. Somehow, when she was even slightly drunk, her accent came through even more, though it sounded far less sophisticated, the consonants sharper and more slurred at the same time. Who could tell how she did that.

“Mom…” Grace shook her head, disbelievingly.

“Yep. I’m so glad you’re okay, babe.”

Grace swallowed hard, looking pleadingly to Caleb, who stood up slowly.

“She’s a total lightweight, that one,” the other woman said, faking a British accent and making Caleb laugh.

“She is, Emma. She really is.” he agreed, tapping his mother on the shoulder. “Mom, do you want to lie down for a bit?”

_Let’s just hope she can make it back to the ship without drawing too much attention to her._

“Hm, maybe,” Alex mumbled and turned to look around at the woman called Emma. “Nice talking to you! Let’s do this again sometime.”

“You bet, Alexandra. I’ll come by and bring some tea.”

“Urgh.” Alex waved her off and nearly fell over. What the hell had she been drinking?! “Right… time for some coffee, huh?” Alex muttered and kissed Caleb’s cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, a friend called Alex and Emma „wine moms" in this chapter. Isn't she right? Alex is really bad at drinking and Emma had years of practice, not only back on Earth, but also with Ronon… I wanted this chapter to be a bit lighter, even though Torren is still a bit weird. Any idea what might be going on with him?
> 
> And we're also right in the middle of that flashback episode of Alex being stuck with the Nox. What do you think happenedthere?
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading! I'll see you again on Sunday. Maybe.


	38. Chapter 38

** Chapter 38 **

_2034_

“They want us to come back and help them increase their population again.” He’d talked it over with Carter, but they hadn’t come to a viable solution. The IOA would never let them come back here knowing they’d struck a deal with the Wraith. There were two other options open to them however and neither one seemed too promising. Coming back only to fight themselves at war again was out of the question. Not returning was wrong as well though. It was true, they’d caught a lot of damage.

“Dirty…” Alex muttered. She’d been lying on the bed when he entered, one arm draped over her eyes as though trying to shut out everything that could possibly keep her from sleeping.

“Excuse me.”

“Dirty thoughts Todd is having there, don’t you think? _Help them increase their population._ I ask you.” She still wasn’t looking at him, but the slur in her voice was enough to let him know that she wasn’t entirely sober.

“Alex, have you been out with Emma Rogers?” he asked, remembering the few times Alex and the linguist had a girls’ night. None of them had ended well for Alex, and Evan couldn’t help but suspect that Alex wouldn’t feel well the next morning either.

She gave him a thumbs-up, then let both of her arms fall to her sides so she lay spread-eagled on the bed. No use talking to her in this state. No use telling her about the few possibilities they had at this point.

With a sigh, he sat down next to her and touched her knee.

“You’re having dirty thoughts too, huh?”

Evan laughed, lay down next to her and put his hand on her stomach. “

“You haven’t even taken off your shoes. Or those BDUs. Kinky, General Lorne.”

“No, and I’m not gonna take off the BDUs for as long as you’re awake.”

“Okay.” She quickly closed her eyes and feigned deep, rhythmic breathing. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyelids not entirely closed and he knew she was watching him through the dark blond eyelashes. No, twenty years ago he might have been stupid enough to be tempted by this look, but he knew better now.

He didn’t even bend over to kiss her forehead, but patted her hand instead. “I’ll take a shower, okay? Should I go to the commissary to get you an extra greasy sandwich?”

He was still holding onto her hand and that was probably his mistake. Before he could so much as move, she’d pulled him closer and he fought for just a moment, returning her sloppy kiss and disentangling himself from her. “You know the drill”, he whispered, getting up again. “Not unless I’m drunk as well, and I can’t get drunk when we might be attacked by Furlings, Wraith, Ori or evil System Lords.”

“There’s no such thing as un-evil System Lords.” Alex let herself fall back again and she watched him get up and move over to the table.

“Get some rest, and when you’re not feeling ready to die tomorrow morning, we can have a go at it. Okay.”

She sighed deeply, turned on her side and pulled her pillow against her chest. “Fine.”

“I need to talk to them.” Torren was just sitting there, turning the staff between his fingers and staring down at it. Years and years ago his mother had taught him this form of martial arts and on this trip he’d started teaching her as well. And although he was more than willing to spar with Grace, he hadn’t been to the village to practice with another Athosian yet. It was as though he was terrified of them.

Caleb and his team were over there again, making notes on who would want to come back with them. She had a feeling Torren should have been there with them, but there was no moving him.

Grace sighed, wiped her forehead with a towel and sat down next to him. It was late and they were the only ones in the gym right now. “Halling would love to talk to you about your mother, I guess. Weren’t they childhood friends?”

“No, I didn’t mean him. I meant the Wraith.”

She fell silent then, just stood there and looked down at him as he avoided eye contact.

“Do you think I’m crazy?”

Well, how was she supposed to know? She sat down next to him and touched his arm with the back of her hand. The Wraith were allied of his people. But they hadn’t stopped whoever had attacked the two of them and somehow Grace couldn’t help but think that the Wraith could have interfered, had they had a mind to. And then there was Torren’s weird connection to them. But that had nothing to do with insanity. “No,” she said. “I’m just wondering why you would want to talk to them?”

He shrugged. “I have this weird feeling they might know more than they let on.”

That was undoubtedly true. “Excuse me,” she said carefully, wishing she could grab him by the shoulders and shake him, “what makes you think he’s gonna tell you?”

Torren bit his lip.

“And what exactly makes you think anyone’s gonna let you go there alone?”

Screwing up his face, Torren came to his feet. “I guess I’m gonna have to try, won’t I.”

Grace stared up at him. The man was twenty-six years old. How could he act like a sulky teenager right now? “Talk to my dad first, will you?”

A scoff was the first reaction she got for that. Throwing his hands into the air, he resorted to scratching his back with the staff. “I’m gonna turn in,” he muttered. “See you tomorrow.”

“Oh, come on,” she whispered making to follow him, but hesitating, when he turned around to look at her again, “I’m just worried, that’s all.” _Because I love you._

The thought hit her out of nowhere, but she felt the words hanging on her lips as she looked into his dark eyes with those wonderful eye lashes and felt her heart miss several beats at once.

“I know,” he answered, forcing a smile and dropping the staff . “Let me sleep on it, okay?”

“Okay.” What else was she supposed to say? Should she beg him to stay and discuss something when he wasn’t ready for it? Swallowing hard, she watched him hesitate, hovering on the verge of approaching her again as his eyes lingered on her lips. Instead, he turned away again and headed straight for the door, almost colliding with Lucas and Caleb walking into the gym.

“What’s wrong with him?” Lucas asked.

Grace bit her lip and shook her head. The two of them might be her childhood friend and her brother, but she wasn’t about to rat Torren out. Not when Torren hadn’t even fully made up his mind yet. “Just tired.”

_When the MALP hadn’t made it through the Gate, Evan had been concerned._

_When the messages they sent via radio were left unanswered, he’d felt the world come crushing down on him._

_After a week of trying to make contact, after he’d only come home to his kids in the evenings and had to ask his father to watch the children for a while, he was exhausted. And he still felt his eyes starting to droop while his heart was pounding. Doctor Lam wouldn’t stand for this much longer, he knew that, and it might probably not be the worst of ideas to take a couple of pills just to knock him out long enough so he could start thinking clearly again._

_Evan was sitting in the briefing room, facing the large window overlooking the Stargate. The soft tapping of his fingertip on the mahogany table was the only sound within earshot if you didn’t count the constant humming of the AC and computers. Landry’s office was empty, and the only people in shouting distance must be the technicians below. When he’d entered, he’d seen Chuck on duty there. He should count himself lucky the Canadian military had lent some personnel to the SGC. At least a few of the familiar faces from back then still remained in this bunker._

_With a frustrated sigh, he balled his hand into a fist, got up and shoved his hands into fists. The Gate was just sitting there. Endless possibilities presented to them all right there, and yet it couldn’t get him to his wife. And who could say what had happened? Where she was? If she was even still alive._

_Not knowing and having to ask Adam to watch the children for as long as it took, was unbearable. Especially since that accusing look had been enough to nearly break him. Adam wasn’t exactly the overprotective type, and Alex would never have stood for it anyway, not anymore, but the look of disappointment and worry had been bad. So bad, Evan had almost told him everything._

_“Your kids okay?” he heard a voice behind him and he slowly turned around, hands behind his back, to look at Landry. The General was holding two mugs of coffee and set one down on the table in front of Evan. “Morning, Lorne.”_

_“Morning, Sir,” Evan nodded curtly. “Thanks.” He approached the table and looked at the beige substance in the mug. Landry had gone to the lengths to add milk. Far too much of it, and Evan had to push away the thought that Alex always knew how he liked his coffee, but he took the mug and drank, grateful he wasn’t too bitter. Not yet._

_“Your kids?”_

_Evan stared at the content in his mug. “My brother-in-law flew in last night to look after them with his husband.”_

_“Frequent flyer?”_

_“You could say that,” Evan said, surprised to find himself smiling. “He’s an airline pilot. Alex would say he thinks he’s a sky god.”_

_Landry scoffed as Evan ignored the pang his own remark had brought on. “Don’t all pilots?”_

_“Maybe,” Evan conceded, looking down at his watch. The meeting wouldn’t start for another half hour. “Sorry, Sir, I didn’t mean to linger here. I’ll go to my office.”_

_“That’s alright. I thought you’d be here.” Landry nodded at the window. “It’s where I am whenever my daughter is off-world.”_

_The thought alone… knowing that Alex might be lost to him was bad enough, but to think of watching your own child go through the Gate on a regular basis, never knowing whether they’d be back… it must be excruciating. He pondered for a minute, wondering what he could say, when Landry waved him off. “Stay, have another coffee. The rest of your team’ll be here soon.”_

_“Have you… heard anything yet?”_

_Landry narrowed his eyes and looked down at the Gate. “The_ Daedalus _will be here today from its scouting mission.”_

_It would be here today and take three days at least to get ready again. Three days. It wasn’t good, but it was something. He held the mug tight in both of his hands so they couldn’t ball into fists. “Sir-“ he began, but was cut off when the sound of steps on the metal stairs behind him, interrupted him. He turned to find Chuck Campbell climbing the last steps. His eyes darted between Landry and Evan for a moment, then fixed on Landry. “The Tok’ra scout ship we asked to take a look at Gaia just sent a message, Sir,” he said, and when he looked at Evan again, there was a slight quiver in his voice. “The planet’s under siege. Furlings. Maat said they barely made it out of there alive.”_

_Evan’s heart sank. Gaia was unreachable to them any other way but via_ Daedalus _and Evan hadn’t forgotten that the IOA and the Pentagon had abandoned the people of Atlantis._

_“General,” he said, turning to look at Landry again, but when Landry looked at him, his heart sank. He bit his lip and looked down at his shoes before the tears could shoot into his eyes._

_“Campbell?” Landry’s voice was low, but he didn’t dare raise his head again. Alex wasn’t just stuck. It was more than likely she was lost to him. What the hell was he supposed to do with himself now? What was he to tell Grace and Caleb?_

_“Hold relaying that message to the Pentagon. Lose it somewhere until SG-1 is at the Gamma Site.”_

_His head snapped back up again, so quickly he felt a sharp pain in his neck. Landry was looking at him, a sad smile on his face that managed to twist Evan’s gut._

_“We still have that cargo ship there. And I don’t doubt the rest of your team is gonna volunteer getting your wife back. I’ll ask Murdoch and his team to come in as well.”_

“Josh’s taken off with that girl,” Caleb whispered, stirring his oatmeal with a frown.

“Jealous?” Lucas asked, his eyebrows raised.

“Oh, shut up.”

“Will t _he two of you_ shut up?” Grace leaned back in her chair and turned to look out the window again. The flirty bickering her brother and Lucas were displaying was seriously getting on her nerves, especially without Josh there to act as a buffer in public spaces. “How’d you know he took off with Eva anyway?”

“I thought you told me to shut up.” The smirk on Caleb’s face was unbearable. “And where’s Torren?”

Grace shrugged, wishing for more coffee, but she’d have to get up for that and right now her mother was standing by the coffee maker, pale and surly looking. Apparently Athosian Ale wasn’t the sort of stuff she was used to. “Still in his quarters I expect,” she muttered. In half an hour she and Lucas would have to go on duty and if Torren didn’t show up until then, she wouldn’t see him all day.

“Things could get complicated, though,” Caleb said, “I mean, I don’t think Emma is gonna wanna go back? Last I checked she wasn’t on the list of people who wanted to go home.”

“Who is?” a tired voice asked and Grace looked up to see her mother standing by their table, looking tired and exhausted.

“I can’t remember their names, but there was this really sullen guy who kept trying to insult me and at the same time wined most of the time.”

Alex sighed and sat at the table next to theirs. “Kavanagh. Well, I suppose he’s put the people of New Athos through enough.”

Frowning, Grace watched her usually empathy filled mother take a gulp of coffee and close her eyes as she held her own head. “He’s that bad?”

A shrug was the only answer Alex gave as she set down her mug. “How’s Torren? He looked really upset yesterday.”

Out of the corner of her eye Grace saw Lucas and Caleb exchange a look, before returning their attention back to their breakfast.

“He is,” Grace was determined not to say any more in this filled cafeteria. This really wasn’t the time and place.

The way her mother was looking at her was downright unnerving. There was no question her mother was seeing this as a heart-to-heart. And it made Grace feel uncomfortable, especially when Alex asked: “How are you?”

Grace shrugged. There was no denying the incident still troubled her, but for now there was little they could do. Someone had taken soil samples and had clearly identified traces of a ship landing near where she and Torren had been found, but that didn’t narrow anything down. She and Torren hadn’t been abducted, that was something, the tests that had been done on them by Montgomery had come back clean. What else was there to know or to do but to keep a look-out and be careful? “It’s okay, Mom. Really.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you pick up on Evan’s team during the last stretch of the Furling War? Hm.. And Torren? Still being weird… hm…
> 
> School started again this week, so I might not be able to update as frequently, but I’ll try to post a chapter per week.
> 
> Hope you guys are okay!


	39. Chapter 39

** Chapter 39 **

_2034_

What Miller and Ferretti were talking about, Grace couldn’t have said for the life of her. Her eyes were trained on their surroundings, on the massive trees and the possible hiding places for attackers. Not that anybody was expecting an attack. Not anymore. They’d been on this planet for almost a week now and nothing else had happened. Of course that hadn’t stopped the regular patrols. They’d leave the next day and Grace hadn’t really talked to Torren since their argument in the gym and she hated that she hadn’t had the guts to take the first step.

“… not really looking forward to being stationed on Alpha Site.”

Grace’s head snapped around at those words. “Alpha Site?”

“You really weren’t listening, were you?” The look Miller gave her over her shoulder was enough to make Grace blush. “Kidding, Lorne.” Winking, she turned back to look ahead. The ship wasn’t far now. “I doubt the guy in charge would want us stationed off-world for a prolonged period of time. And I really don’t mind.”

Another reason for her ears to grow hot. But Miller wasn’t wrong of course. Her father did his best not to prefer her and her team, but there was little doubt her father would have them stationed somewhere else in the galaxy without a real need. As long as nobody but Miller mentioned it; as long as it was just the four of them, Grace would only allow herself to be slightly embarrassed. The utter humiliation would undoubtedly come later.

“Don’t worry, nobody else has said that yet,” Lucas said quietly by her side, as though he’d read her mind. He wasn’t at all bad at that. That’s what you got for being teamed up with someone who’d known you all your life. When he spoke again, he’d lowered his voice even more and he let himself fall back so they were out of earshot from Miller and Ferretti again. “Talking of favours… I saw Torren talking to your d- the General yesterday. He didn’t seem too happy.”

Grace snorted derisively. “The General wouldn’t let him get on that Hive.”

“Why would he want to?” He caught Grace’s eye and she could literally see the realization. “Oh… he’s, he’s like his mom?”

Grace shrugged. “I suppose? I don’t think there are any other Athosians with this ability around. Torren hasn’t mentioned them if there are.” Not that she could be too confident Torren would have told her if he’d found out anything about other Athosians like himself in the past three days. They hadn’t spoken once.

“And your dad won’t let him talk to the Wraith? Overprotective?”

Grace snorted. “More like worried. Despite the Athosians’ assurances, he doesn’t trust the Wraith.”

“And who can blame him, after all the things Atlantis expedition went through. Have you seen those pictures of the Wraith victims?”

Grace couldn’t keep her eyes on Lucas. There were three Wraith in their vicinity, as they walked onto the clearing. They were in deep conversation with a couple of engineers Grace had worked with recently. “Why would you look at those pictures, Lieutenant?”

Lucas shrugged. “I like creepy stories.”

“Only they’re not just stories.”

“No.” He nodded, his eyes trained on the Wraith. He sighed. “Well, we’re leaving tomorrow, so I doubt we’ll have too much time to dwell on this.”

It would mean Torren would be sulky all the way back, because he hadn’t gotten a chance to talk with the Wraith. He was inquisitive. Curious. In that respect he was almost worse than Caleb or Josh.

“And you’re saying the ship’s fully functioning again?” Miller asked sceptically when they had caught up. She looked up at the _Hammond_ as they approached the ramp. “I mean…”

“Yeah,” Grace said. “One of the main control crystals was badly damaged. That’s why so many other systems failed. When we replaced it, everything else could be repaired.”

“Lucky us we had a spare, huh?” Ferretti took of her sunglasses and looked over her shoulder at Grace. “Real lucky.” 

“You could say that,” Grace shrugged as she spotted movement to their right. Josh, looking slightly dishevelled was walking out of the underbrush. Her was all alone, though his cheeks were flushed and he kept looking over his shoulder as he started towards the ship.

“That guy knows he’s not supposed to walk off alone, doesn’t he?” Miller stood still, both hands casually on her weapon as she watched Josh approach them.

“I’m sure he does,” Lucas said, grinning slightly. “Caleb told me about those ruins Eva Dex showed him. SG-11 and SG-3 went there the other day to explore along with Doctor Lorne and Doctor Rogers.”

“So, what’s the verdict?” They’d all stopped in their tracks to watch Josh come closer, who seemed slightly embarrassed to be stared at.

Lucas raised his eyebrows, then looked at Miller and Ferretti. “Pretty. But pretty well catalogued, too.”

By now Josh was within earshot and he jogged a few paces until he’d caught up with them. “What’s well catalogued?” He was slightly out of breath and looked back again, where the leaves rustled for a moment.

“You tell us,” Lucas said with a wink and Josh’s fist hit him right in the shoulder. One thing was for sure: Torren wasn’t going to be the only one sad to be leaving this place.

_“The city shields are weakening.”_

_No big surprise there. Had it been a month already? Even if it hadn’t, Alex wasn’t sure Atlantis could have withstood an attack this massive for such a long time. At some point they would have run out of ZPMs. Maybe the Furlings were close to losing all their power as well._

_Alex was standing in the garden, arms folded over her chest as she looked up at the flaming sky up ahead. It was strange how beautiful and peaceful it looked, when all it meant was death and destruction._

_“Alexandra?” Lya had been standing next to her for a few minutes now, but so far Alex hadn’t acknowledged her. The words still hung in the air and the implications were making her knees weak. So her time was up. There was no way the SGC would send a ship here. There was no way she could make it to the Gate. She would never see her family again, and right now it was all she could do not to burst into tears. “I am sorry, but you are going to have to leave.”_

_Her head snapped around and as her eyes locked on Lya’s, her hands were balled into fists. “Leave?” she whispered, tears shooting into her eyes. She quickly turned away again to stare at a plant._

Fern.

_It was the first word that popped into her mind when she looked at it, immediately followed by two more:_

Fuck this.

_With a trembling hand, she wiped her face, cursing herself again for the tears that came so easily. Mostly because she knew Evan was glad she had started allowing them. Her nose was prickling and she quickly closed her eyes. Who needed to look at stupid ferns anyway?_

_The ground shook slightly. It had done that on and off again for a few days now._

_When she’d arrived, the Furlings had been visitors as well, she’d found out. But she and them were being kept apart from each other and Alex doubted the Furlings knew she was here even now._

_“We will send an escort to into the forest with you. I am sorry there is nothing else we can do for you, but surrender is imminent.”_

_Alex nodded once. She’d be sent to the ground. Unarmed. Helped by a few pacifists who had no chance whatsoever to defend her or themselves when the Furlings found them and attacked. “You think I can make it to the Gate?” she asked sceptically. The Stargate was hidden and inaccessible as far as Alex knew. The Nox had sealed it, so the Furlings couldn’t send reinforcements. It also meant that Landry couldn’t send an extraction team._

_If those were even a thing anymore. What the IOA had done to their people in Pegasus still made her feel bitter towards her employers and she doubted that feeling would ever go away._

_Well, at least she’d be given a chance. And everything was better than to lie low here to await capture. “When?” Alex cleared her throat. “When are you taking me down?”_

_“In an hour. Alexandra?”_

_The trace of despair in Lya’s voice, something she’d never thought she’d hear from her, made her look at the Nox woman again. The sadness in those dark eyes made her heart sink. Was this it? Lya had already given up. She saw no hope for her people. They would surrender and be lost in the Furling Empire. One of the most powerful races in this galaxy was ready to admit defeat. What hope was there for anyone else? “I am sorry,” Lya said again and Alex nodded. “I hope you will see your family again.”_

_Swallowing hard, Alex reached out instinctively to touch Lya’s hand. “Thank you.” Her own voice was still hoarse and there was nothing she could do now, but look at the smaller woman in front of her. What would await her? Did she know? And if she did, would she even want to tell Alex? “I-“ Alex began, pulling herself together, “I’d better get my things.”_ Just in case I still need those notes I came here for, _she added in her mind. Three words that made her want to crawl into bed and pretend none of this was happening. That the sky wasn’t lit up with plasma burning away on the shield. That the woman in front of her might already be dead the next day, or that she herself might have even less time. That she’d never see Caleb, Grace and Evan again._

_Her heart was throbbing with pain when Lya nodded._

_And then the light above faded and she could see the stars again._

_Lya took a deep breath. “No…” she whispered to the air around them, her eyes wide, her hands at her sides trembling as she gazed up. “They’ve surrendered too soon. You do not have the time to return to your quarters.” Lya looked at Alex again, grabbed her elbow, pulled her close and then the world around her seemed to fade._

To her surprise, Grace found Torren sitting on the floor opposite their door when she and Ferretti returned. He had his knees pulled up against his chest and his head was resting against the wall. His eyes darted between her and Ferretti and the flicker of a smile appeared on his lips. It wasn’t the charming one he used on her sometimes, or the funny one that appeared on his lips every time he was about to laugh. There were no crinkles around his eyes, no show of teeth as he looked up at her. It was an apologetic smile and the sincerity in his eyes made it almost easy to forgive his absence and his coolness towards her.

“Hey, Ferretti,” he said casually, getting to his feet. The Captain just nodded, then turned to open the door without a word.

“I want her back by ten, young man,” Ferretti said, barely hiding a yawn before the door slid closed behind her back to leave Grace and Torren alone in the corridor. A few metres away Grace watched as an airman went into his own quarters without sparing a glance at the two of them, then she watched as Torren ran his hand through his curls. His shoulders were slightly hunched and he seemed at a loss for words. When he looked at her, he bit his lip.

“Grace, can we talk?”

Her hands were on the verge of trembling, so she quickly folded her arms over her chest and looked at him with a raised eyebrow. “Fine,” she said, not entirely sure she was in the forgiving mood. “Talk.”

He scratched the back of his head and looked down the corridor. For a moment he hesitated and he seemed much younger as he cleared his throat and let his hand fall to his side. “Grace.”

“You talked to them, didn’t you?”

His eyes widened for a moment. “Do you want me to justify myself right now?” He was angry. And he wasn’t entirely wrong. She knew that. And if it weren’t for the fact that he was under her father’s command right now, she might feel different about it.

“No.” She gulped and shook her head. “Yes- I mean.” With a sigh, she grabbed his wrist and pulled him down the corridor. Having an argument was one thing. Being on the verge of engaging in a shouting match right within earshot of her commanding officer was quite different. And she felt it. She felt the shout coming.

They reached his door within moments and when he opened it, she was taken aback to see Josh, Lucas and Caleb sitting on his bed, playing cards in their hands and a pile of them in the middle. They looked up when they entered and Josh nearly spilled his bowl of popcorn on the blanket.

Grace frowned at them, especially at the popcorn in Josh’s lap. “What are you doing here?”

“Torren asked us to come here.” Caleb, who was sitting cross-legged on the bed raised his eyebrows at her.

“Yes.” Torren smiled ruefully. “Okay, here’s the thing-“

“Is this supposed to be a conspiracy?”

“Of course it is,” Josh said, sliding off the bed to sit on the carpeted floor. He carefully picked a white, fluffy-looking piece, turned it between his fingers and popped it into his mouth. “Isn’t it exciting? I couldn’t smuggle Eva onboard. She would love this.” A whole handful of popcorn followed the single kernel.

“Your girlfriend is not part of this expedition. You are,” she said through gritted teeth. “You all are so-“

“Are you seriously thinking about ratting him out?” Lucas said quietly and that was enough to shut her up despite the white hot anger in her chest. Had Caleb said it, she would have stormed out, but Lucas was different. He was her comrade. Not her stupid big brother. She looked at Torren. “What?”

“I was in the village today,” he said, wringing his hands. “And Guide came up to talk to me. He said-“

“Do we really think trusting a Wraith is-“

“Shut up, Caleb,” Lucas said, but so lovingly it made Caleb stare at him with his mouth hanging open. “What did he say?”

“He said it’d be up to me to tell Evan or Carter, but he wanted to talk with me first… because of my mom and that gene-thing.” He cleared his throat, his eyes darting between Grace and the floor. “But I wanted to talk this through with you guys.”

“Stop beating ‘round the bush, then.” Still chewing, Josh leaned his head against the bed and looked up at him with big blue eyes. “We really don’t have a lot of time left.”

“Well.” Torren cleared his throat. “He knew about the research Alex and Jonas were doing. Something about some kind of… I don’t know, meeting point of … whatev-“

“Heliopolis.” Caleb nodded knowledgably and exchanged a look with Josh. “Turns out mom’s been obsessed with it forever and-“

“Well, he said the Wraith had placed a Gate on that planet after that Ba’al guy was defeated. And that he was interested in what’s hidden there, but that there was nobody with the Ancient gene in the vicinity to get to the information and… well.” He brushed his hand over his neck and sank onto the narrow desk.

“He wants us to use you to get to information stored in a secret Ancient facility?” Josh’s eyebrows rose so high they almost vanished beneath his fringe. “Cool!”

“That facility was destroyed,” Grace said coolly, hoping the straw she was grasping onto would hold her up long enough.

“Apparently it wasn’t.” Caleb scratched his chin, his eyes on Torren. “When’re we going!”

“How old are you again?” Grace snapped more forcefully than she’d intended and she caught Lucas grinning at Caleb.

“I think we should go,” Torren said, rubbing his palms on his pants. “See what’s there and-“

Just by holding up his hand, Lucas was able to interrupt Torren. “What I’m wondering…” he began, leaning back against the headboard of the bed. “Why are you so interested in helping that guy? What’s in it for him?”

Torren let out a long breath and folded his hands again. He looked at Grace, then back at Lucas. “He figures the remnants of the database, you know, stuff that can only be accessed by people with the gene-“ he pointed first at Caleb, then at Grace, though his eyes remained fixed on Grace as he continued, “could help us find something that’s a good enough incentive for our government to let us come back here.”

“Seems like the Wraith have arranged themselves with the current situation.” Caleb was frowning. He stood up and walked over to the window to look out into the forest. “I mean, they have their territory, they live in peace… why bother with us?”

Grace sighed as it finally clicked. She nodded. “Dad said something about this the other day,” she said. She’d been alone with him and their mother. “He said something about the Wraith dying out as a race. I guess Guide figures we could help… and he’s probably not that far off… after all, we kind of inherited all the knowledge the Asgard had…”

Josh whistled through his teeth. “Clones, huh? That might actually be interesting. Too bad we’re leaving tomorrow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so sorry it’s been so long! This past week, or rather these last two weeks have been exhausting! I promise to do better!
> 
> So… this is what the Wraith want? Is it really? What about that Heliopolis-like planet? And a deadline! So much going on!
> 
> See you all next week!


	40. Chapter 40

** Chapter 40 **

_2016_

_The engines were humming so loudly, they drowned out the soft talking behind them. He could barely make out the words Mitchell and Vala were exchanging up ahead. This cargo ship was slow and old, and both adjectives were compliments._

_After about ten minutes of sitting in the rundown storage area, Evan had taken to sitting in front of the escape pods and sketching every little thing he could see until his fingers cramped and the pencil was nothing more than a small stump._

_He refused to look at his watch._

_This flight would take days._

_Evan put the pencil into his lap, flexed his fingers and stared down at the paper._ Pathetic. _That was the word which came to mind as he couldn’t help but judge his inability to capture the blurriness of hyperspace beyond the viewscreen up ahead. At least it had taken him hours to produce this miserable piece of crap. At least he’d been doing something. He ripped the page off the sketching pad which he had been wise enough to bring along, then scrunched up the paper and dropped it onto the floor._

_Twisting his hand so as to get some relief, he picked up the sorry excuse of a pencil again and put it to paper. One line. Then another. Slightly curved. Soft. Just a light touch._

Don’t think about Grace and Caleb.

Don’t think about what they might be doing.

What’ll happen to them if you don’t come back.

_The pencil tip gave way as it broke on the paper._

_He heard footsteps behind him._

_How much longer? How long had it been already? He wasn’t entirely sure he was ready to ask._

_Only when a pair of boots entered his field of vision did he look up. Fisherman, more clean-shaven than he’d ever been during his time on Atlantis, handed him a fresh and extra sharp pencil without a word, and Evan took it with a nod of appreciation. “Thanks,” he said quietly, returning his attention to the drawing. Up until now he hadn’t even realised he was drawing Nora. It was the picture which had etched itself into his mind. The picture he’d drawn once before. Of Alex and their first child sitting on the cheap sofa in their old living room._

_His throat grew tight, but he kept going and ignoring the man sitting next to him now, though he had to admit, he appreciated the company. He knew Fisherman wouldn’t try talking to him unless he started up the conversation, and so Evan kept sketching a familiar picture, while Fisherman took out the thick historical novel and turned page after page as Evan worked, not allowing his mind to dwelll on the fact that Alex might very well already be lost to him._

_Next came Murdoch. “Got you some tea, Colonel.” The metal cup hovering before his eyes didn’t smell too inviting, but he took it anyway. He hated being coddled, especially by two men who were supposed to be under his command on this mission, but the Atlantis expedition had changed a lot. It had changed how he and everybody who had been there behaved to one another. The interaction between the expedition members, even among the military personnel was different on a level he had never really expected. Not even after years spent among SGC personnel and the likes of O’Neill._

_But then again, he thought as he bent low over the paper to put more detail into Alex’s hair and ignore the aching pain in his chest, having civilians play major parts among regular off-world teams, and especially on an expedition like Atlantis, meant that things were bound to be different._

_“Where do you keep all the pictures you made on Atlantis anyway?”_

_Evan looked up, slightly puzzled by the question. “How do you know about that?” Out of all the things that could be said, he wouldn’t have thought Fisherman would bring up this one. “And why?”_

_With a smirk, Fisherman brushed his hand through his short hair. Evan couldn’t remember when he’d last talked to the man about anything other than the job. Had it been when they’d adopted that ten-year old girl? “Didn’t you know you’re kind of infamous for that hobby by now, Colonel?”_

_Evan scoffed, stretched out his legs and for the first time in days, he found himself smiling. “Infamous.” He took a sip of the luke-warm tea._

_“More or less. It’s a bit unusual for an officer, right?”_

_He shrugged. “Maybe.” Blinking he massaged his temple, his eyes trained on the half-finished drawing._

_“I was asking, because some of our personal effects never really made it into our home.” Fisherman scratched his nose. “Especially pictures. Photos that show some sign that they weren’t taken on Earth, you know?”_

_“They’re at his house,” Murdoch said, leaning his head back against the wall. “I suppose drawings don’t really count? Or is it that being a Colonel gives you certain privileges?”_

_Even didn’t answer. There was little to say. He had no idea why exactly he’d been allowed to keep his paintings? Maybe Murdoch wasn’t entirely wrong. Paintings were different from photos. They could be disguised more easily. Silence stretched between them and Evan only looked up, when he heard Mitchell’s voice. “Want me to take over?”_

_Vala got up from the pilot’s seat and patted the back rest. “Off you go then, Colonel.”_

_His new team had taken some getting used to. After her intermission on Atlantis, Carter had been reassigned once again, this time to the_ Hammond _, and everybody knew she was more than well-suited for the job, but it was clear Daniel, Mitchell and Teal’c missed her, not to mention Vala, but they had accepted Evan readily enough._

_So much had been restructured and reordered these past few years and Evan still wasn’t entirely sure he was comfortable with these changes. But when the war with the Furlings had started for real, things needed to change. Units and teams which had been reduced in numbers had to be re-organized quickly, and, yes, Evan was grateful to be given the chance to join the front-line team, but it wasn’t his old team anymore. He could rely on everyone on SG-1 and nobody but Jonas remained of his old unit, but he still almost wished he’d been given the opportunity to assemble his own team._

_And he knew that wish was petty. And that he should be grateful to have such amazing and seasoned people by his side. Especially now._

_Evan watched as Mitchell took over and Vala strode past them to sit down next to Jackson who was reading in the back of the cargo ship. “Only twelve more hours, sweety.”_

_Evan wasn’t entirely sure she meant Jackson._

_2034_

“You must be joking.” Carter raised her eyebrows at Grace. “Lieutenant, you are not seriously thinking about following along with the plan.”

Already Grace was regretting having confided in the commander of this ship. She could very well imagine Mitchell reacting the very same way and it made her want to back off straight away. But the thing was, she couldn’t exactly go up to her father to tell on the others. “Colonel,” she began, taking a deep breath, and already regretting she’d spoken up when she happened to come upon Carter in one of the maintenance corridors “I’m aware it might sound a bit drastic-“

“You _think?!_ Lorne, have you lost your mind? Didn’t you graduate from Air Force Academy only two years ago?”

Grace swallowed hard and nodded. “Yes, I did. And I am aware-“

“Good!” Carter cut her off, making Grace feel like she’d accidentally put her foot into a giant pothole. Even thinking about breaking military protocol or acting without the explicit order of her commanding officer, could get her into immense trouble. She was well aware of that, but the thing was, she knew Carter knew how important this might be. And Torren needed her to make others listen. Not that she herself was entirely convinced this was a good idea, but she owed it to him.

Carter raised her eyebrows at her. “Now get back to work-“

“I’m sorry!” Grace said quickly and Carter’s eyes widened as Grace interrupted her in turn. This really was a bad idea. “Colonel Carter, didn’t you and your team stretch the rules every now and again?”

When Carter let out her breath this time it sounded more like the threat of a storm coming on. Grace was screwed. Especially if she didn’t argue her case sufficiently right now.

“I’m aware you and the General are already stretching the rules just by being here. I know that. But wouldn’t it be worth checking out this one other thing on the list? Just in case there’s no chance of coming back?”

For a moment there, Grace thought Carter might be about to tell her off again. And with good reason. Carter wasn’t known for breaking the rules. Not anymore. How else should she have survived in the Air Force for this long and assumed a major command position? Shaking her head, however, the Colonel took a step towards the door. “I’m gonna talk to the General, but you should hope he doesn’t ask me for names, Grace.” It was the first time Carter had used her first name in years.

Maybe all wasn’t lost. She still hated being the snitch.

_“Small problem.”_

_They had only just stopped so Jonas could check out an obelisk that might be a signpost, a portal or some kind of monument, when the crackling of the radio alerted them. “What is it, Mitchell?” Evan asked, missing the headsets they’d had in Pegasus._

_Jonas, who’d had his fingers on a line and was looking at it with his eyes narrowed, turned to look at him with a frown. Pausing, Fisherman kept staring up at the grey surface of the obelisk, the small scanning device still in his hands._

_“Vala says we were spotted coming down here. We had to abandon the ship, since the cloak isn’t working apparently. We’re on our way to your position now.”_

_Evan sighed. Perfect. Mitchell, Vala and Daniel were supposed to take care of the ship and fix it if possible, but that option of escape was obviously out of reach now. “We’re two clicks north of the landing position.” Not long and the_ Hammond _would be here anyway. Or at least he hoped it would be. Because this little excursion was already proving to be half a disaster. And if things went even more wrong… no, he couldn’t think like that. Not right now._

_“Yeah, we’re close to you now. Be there in a couple of minutes.”_

_“So I take it, we’re lying low?” Murdoch asked, when Evan had returned his attention to the others. He was looking up at the steely grey sky to the city floating high above them, half hidden behind massive clouds. It was infinitely bigger than Atlantis had been.From above, it had also looked a lot friendlier with the vast area of greenery in its centre, but there’d been no way they could land there. They would have to find a way to get up into the high towers however if they wanted to find Alex, and Jonas shook his head at him after exchanging a glance with Fisherman._

_“I don’t think I can activate this thing,” the latter said, taking a step back. “It’s definitely a portal, but we figure the Nox use a similar genetic key as the Ancients did. Highly efficient and all.” He pocketed the device and adjusted his cap. “We’re gonna have to-“_

_He whipped around and they all dropped to their knees at the tell-tale whooshing sound of the energy weapon being fired. Evan had the security of his P-90 released before he heard Mitchell’s unintelligible shout. The first shot had missed them, but about half a click away, he could hear the first tree splintering and crashing down. “Get moving!”_

_More shots where fired and Evan smelled the ozone in the air, felt the tickling of electricity and the heat of the energy blasts as they zoomed past and hit the area around them. Evan was on his feet again the moment Mitchell, Jackson and Vala broke through the underbrush and behind them, he could make out the pursuers. Tall, their greyish skin sleek and their eyes trained unblinkingly on their enemies. There must be at least ten Furlings. Without hesitating and still hoping the new arrivals hadn’t spotted them yet, he opened fire at the same time as Murdoch and Fisherman to provide at least some cover for the other three._

_The first two Furlings fell the moment Vala had reached the obelisk. Three more collapsed when Mitchell and Daniel had jumped behind a large rock that would provide them with cover. The few that were left behind retreated._

_“Well, that was a great welcome,” Mitchell breathed, and Evan nodded._

_“What was that about getting a move on?”_

_Mitchell came to his feet and checked his own weapon. He was a bit out of breath. “They’re gonna call for reinforcements.”_

_“We only a few minutes until they’re upon us again, judging by their usual speed.” Fisherman was putting another clip into his P-90 and looked at him and Mitchell tentatively. “What now?”_

_With a sinking feeling, Evan looked around. The Furlings were closing in on them. They had no way to get off this rock, unless a small miracle took them away from here. And they were nowhere nearer to finding Alex than they had been a week ago._

_“Now we get away from here,” Jackson suggested, straightening his glasses._

_It was the only option they had. “Any idea where the Gate might have been?” At least that was a direction they could go. Jonas pointed East. “That’s what this thing here says anyway,” he announced just as the first icy drops of rain hit his nose._

_Evan had just secured his gun again, had just taken a furtive step in the direction Jonas had pointed at, when a sound pierced his ears that made his insides freeze. “Help!”_

_His head snapped around and his heart leapt. “Alex!” The word had passed his lips before he could stop himself. He started running, slipping past Mitchell’s outstretched arm as he followed the sound of the voice calling his name through the icy sheets of rain. He jumped over fallen trees and branches, nearly slipped on a wet rock, but he didn’t care. Even the chance of seeing her up close again drove him to run. “Alex!” he shouted again as her response came back to him, her voice softer and strained._

_And there she was, sitting on the ground, a lifeless form in a greyish dress next to her. “Alex,” he breathed as he fell next to her and pulled her close, ignoring the dead body by her side and freezing when he felt her wince. “What’s wrong?”_

_Alex shook her head. Her face was flushed, her lips trembling. “Lya,” she said quietly. “She was hit.”_

_But it wasn’t just the Nox woman who lay dead next to Alex that had made her recoil from him. He looked down, his one arm still around her shoulders when he saw the blackened hole in her pant leg and the smell of burnt flesh hit him._

_“Fuck,” he whispered, and then the rain started for real._

“General!”

Carter didn’t even wait for him to ask her to come in, and he quickly dropped his hand from where he’d been caressing Alex’s back. But Carter didn’t pause. She stood in front of him, hands on her hips as she looked down at him.

With a slight frown he leaned back in his chair and for the first time, Alex got the feeling that he had not only embraced the role as General, but the one as Carter’s superior officer as well. His hands lay on the arm rests of his chair and his steely gaze was fixed upon Carter unblinkingly.

She deflated almost instantly. her shoulders almost sagging, but she was still frowning and ignoring Alex. Carter took a deep breath and opened her mouth to speak, when Evan cut across her.

“What is it, Colonel?”

The air seemed to chill momentarily. They were in his own small office in the crew quarters and he’d just been explaining to Alex how he was going to try and handle the IOA and his superiors when they got back, when Carter had burst in.

“Sam?”

The corner of Carter’s mouth twitched and her eyes softened somewhat. She sighed. “Are you aware that someone on board is planning a sort of conspiracy?”

Alex coughed and stepped behind Evan’s chair. It was weird, to say the least, to have Carter tell on someone like this. And the almost accusatory tone suggested who it was she was ratting out. “What’d they do now?”

Carter’s eyes flew towards Alex, then back to Evan. “They think it might be a good idea to visit the Ancient database Ba’al had occupied here. Apparently they got the idea from Guide?”

There _really_ was no question who she was talking about. Nobody on this ship but Torren had any reason to talk to the Wraith, and there were only a handful of people he’d trust with that kind of information.

“They’re not planning on deserting, are they?” Evan asked, his voice tinged with a trace of sarcasm which made a shiver run down Alex’s spine.

“Not as far as I know, no. Not straight away. But they’d like you to order a… detour. Or a delay of our return.”

Evan snorted and as he pushed back his chair, Alex had to take a step back. “Right… that database was destroyed. There’s nothing to look for there.”

“Apparently Guide thinks differently.” Carter hesitated and she exchanged a look with Alex, who felt a flicker of excitement in the pit of her stomach. “Might be worth a shot? Since we’re already here…”

The sigh Evan let out was almost a groan. “You know,” he said, “you scientists always want the best and most of the time things go very, very wrong. Ever heard of a planet called Abydos? We stick our collective noses into business where they don’t belong and all of a sudden, we’re on the verge of destruction.”

Carter laughed without a trace of bitterness. “I agree,” Carter said, “But, General,” she added, “you know as well as I do that the three of us wouldn’t be here if it hadn’t been for a couple of insane mistakes. And besides, who says we have to trust Guide? I mean-“

“Colonel Carter to the bridge!” Fisherman’s voice echoed through the small room, interrupting Carter. She hit the button of her radio, a concerned look on her face. “Carter here.” Her features froze and she slowly dropped her hand. “You’d better come with me,” she said to Evan. “The Wraith Hive is under attack.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess for now we’re stuck with weekly updates again. Hope that’s okay for you? Life is crazy right now. But I hope you guys are alright and don’t hate me for yet another cliffhanger?
> 
> What do you think’s going on here?


	41. Chapter 41

** Chapter 41 **

_2034_

“Can we take off?” Carter was the first on the bridge. Evan squeezed Alex’s hand and she remained behind in the vast corridor. He could still feel the warmth of her skin as he stood next to Carter’s chair.

“Yes, Ma’am. Shields are at maximum.”

“Get to the village. We have to protect it from above.”

Evan threw a look over his shoulder and, sure enough, Alex was still standing nearby, arms crossed over her chest as she watched what was going on, but always darting back to him. She was nervous, and that was no small wonder. Only a few nights ago she’d told him that it terrified her how little she was used to this kind of thing anymore. And she hated having nothing to do in situations like this. And it was at this precise moment that he knew he was doing the right thing. Retiring was definitely the right move now. He didn’t want to spend the last remaining years of his life trying to save their people or the galaxy. It was high time someone else took over the helm and for him to go to bed early. He managed a smile when their eyes met again amidst the calm and organized turmoil on the bridge.

The ship shook slightly as the first energy beam weapon grazed their shields.

Alex moved to the side to make room for the officer hurrying to get to her post. Already the engines were humming and he felt the soft vibrations beneath his feet as the ship started to lift off.

“Can you identify the ship attacking the Wraith?” Carter asked calmly, pushing past Evan to get closer to Fisherman.

“Unidentified as of yet. The sensors can’t reach it through the atmosphere and the static. Radios are down, too.”

Evan had to force himself not to put his hands on Carter’s chair as she sat down. This was her bridge. Her job. “So, no chance of reaching the Hive?”

“Negative, Sir.” Fisherman looked briefly at him over her shoulder. “All frequencies are jammed.”

At this, Alex took a step forward and touched his arm. “Torren!” she whispered, urgency in her voice. “He could reach them.”

Evan nodded and looked down at Carter.

“Good thinking. Get him up here, Doctor Lorne.” Carter then turned her attention back to her first officer. “Send out the fighters.” Tapping her arm rest, she looked up ahead, at the greenery and the village coming close now. “Take a seat, General. This might get bumpy.”

_Alex’s fingers were digging into his jacket and with every step he took, he felt her cringe as she struggled not to make a sound and slow him down even more._

_Up ahead, Mitchell raised his fist and they stood still. “This is no use.” His eyes flickered between Alex and Fisherman, who was taking up the rear. “We’re gonna have to draw them away from you guys.” Already he was taking charge, but Evan wasn’t about to argue. Mitchell wasn’t wrong. He and Alex were slowing them down. “Lorne, Murdoch, get her up to the caves. Vala, Jackson, you’re with Fisherman. Go south. Jonas, you’re with me.”_

_“Mitchell,” Evan began, but Mitchell shook his head, sending droplets of rain flying into every direction. “No time to complain. Let’s just hope this rain’ll wash away our tracks and that Carter and the_ Hammond _will get here sooner rather than later. We only need to hold out until then.”_

_Easier said than done. Those Furlings must be swarming the forest by now. Evan pulled Alex closer and turned to the right and in the direction of the massive rock formations they had nearly crashed into upon arrival. “Good luck,” he said as Alex’s arm tightened around his neck._

_He didn’t need to look down at her to know that she was as white as a sheet and that she was close to tears. But she’d gotten him through that injury on Larsa and he’d be damned if he let anything happen to her now._

_Murdoch took the lead and just before Evan entered the underbrush, he looked over his shoulder at the others, who had already split into groups. God, he hoped he’d see them again, too._

_“Evan, I’m sorry.”_

_He shook his head and brushed his lips over her temple. “You’d have done the same for each and every one of them.”_

_“The thing is…” she began, but trailed off. He could almost sense what she’d been about to say, but didn’t dare voice now._

“Have you said goodbye to your girl yet?”

“She’s not _my girl.”_ Josh shook his head as he was bent low over the tablet in front of him, but Caleb could see that his ears were starting to turn bright red.

“Yeah, right, you spend every second of free time with her.”

Josh swiped almost angrily over the screen in front of him and shifted uncomfortably in his chair. Without looking up, he picked up a cookie from the box between them and, still chewing, said something terribly predictable: “You spend every second with Lucas. I don’t call him your boy.”

The argument wasn’t new, but it still made Caleb more than just a bit uncomfortable. “That’s different.”

“Maybe.” Josh shrugged and looked around. They were alone in the cafeteria. “All I’m saying is, she’d kill you if she heard you say something like that. That is, if her dad didn’t rip off your head before then.”

“Aren’t you gonna miss her?”

Josh lowered his gaze again and put the cookie down. “Can’t say that I won’t. She’s… something.” His smile told Caleb all he needed and everything he didn’t want to know. Josh was more than just smitten with the girl, and the obvious sadness in Josh’s eyes made Caleb feel nauseated himself. He wouldn’t see her again if they left now. 

“Her dad’s a bit scary though,” Caleb suggested, hoping to cheer Josh up, but it only made Josh shrug nonchalantly when he met Caleb’s gaze again.

“She’s scary.” Josh’s grin widened slightly just before it dropped altogether. “God, I _am_ gonna miss her… have you heard from Torren yet? Wasn’t he supposed to-“ he broke off when a voice demanded Carter’s presence on the bridge and next second a sound Caleb hadn’t heard in what seemed like ages started up. A soft hum that seemed to reverberate through every fibre of his being.

“Was that…” Josh began, getting to his feet and moving over to the viewscreen of the cafeteria.

“The engines,” Caleb said. “We weren’t supposed to take off just yet!” Not everybody from the settlement who wanted to come back home was on the ship yet! They hadn’t said their goodbyes to the Athosians! What the hell was going on here?

But the answer came, and he didn’t like it one bit: “All personnel, go to your assigned battle stations, all civilians, please return to your quarters until further notice.”

Caleb and Josh looked at each other and Caleb felt his stomach drop. “Are we under attack?!”

_Her leg was still hurting. The pain killers Oliver had given her weren’t nearly strong enough and she hated every second of being trapped in this forsaken cave. And still she felt as though in a haze. Everything was murky and Evan’s hands on her shoulders barely registered. She felt the pressure, but very little of the warmth. Oliver had probably given her too much._

_She blinked when she saw movement up ahead and Oliver entered her field of vision, his fingers on his lips. Had he heard something?_

_“Lya’s dead, isn’t she?” she said, never knowing where those words were coming from. Of course Lya was dead._

_She felt a hand on her lips, heard a soft shushing sound and tasted salty skin._

_“Be still,” she heard Evan whisper and her eyelids started to droop._

_“I’ll go check,” Oliver said just as quietly, patting her shoulder._

_She watched him turn around and felt Evan shift behind her as he reached for is own weapon. She heard the soft metallic clicking sound as he prepared it. Her eyes fell shut. Was she running a fever? She couldn’t even tell anymore. But as she felt her heart starting to race and heard Oliver shift some more, probably towards the mouth of the cave, she felt consciousness start to slip out of her grasp again._

_And then she was blinded even through her closed eyelids. Blinded by too much light. Deafened by too many voices. Her eyes flew open and the first thing she saw were Evan’s eyes, looming just inches from hers. She saw the crinkles in the corners of them and heard someone shout._

_“SGs-1 and 15 are safely onboard, Ma’am.”_

_“Take us out of here now! This ship’s already taken too many hits.”_

_Evan blinked, wiped something out of her face. What was going on? Were they saved? Could this really have happened? Just like that? The air smelled drier somehow. Warmer. Cleaner._

_And then a sharp pain ripped through her leg, making her gasp as she was lifted up. Evan wasn’t there. She shouted out his name, but in the haze surrounding her, she couldn’t make him out anymore. Hazel eyes entered her field of vision. Blond hair. “Doctor Lorne, it’s okay,” the woman said and it took Alex a few moments before she remembered her name._

_“Keller…”_

_“Yes, it’s me. We’re taking you to the infirmary. Your wound is infected and there’s probably something else in your bloodstream. We’ll take care of you.”_

_Alex nodded, but she didn’t quite understand what the Doctor was telling her._

_Evan’s voice penetrated the murky waters through which she seemed to be drifting and her eyes fell shut once more. The effort of keeping them open was just too much. “I’ll be with you as soon as I can!”_

The treetops were incredibly close, but her fighter simply wasn’t fast enough to get out from under the larger ship flying on top of her. The canopy of her F-305 was completely taken up by the silverish, rectangular underbelly of the ship, which tried to force her to get down to the ground. And that would be the best outcome.

“I need help here!” she shouted into her radio, trying to get through the chatter and the static filling her ears. She ripped the control stick to the right, feeling her fighter shudder as the tips of her right wing struck a tree, barely grazing the twigs. Going as fas as she was, she knew this couldn’t last long and the barest touch of breaking twigs was enough to make her hear jump as the fighter shivered ever so slightly.

“No worries, Princess,” came Lucas’s voice and then she saw his fighter plop up on the radar. He must be close enough so his radio signal could penetrate through to her. The static grew ever louder and all of a sudden a high pitch reverberated through her entire being, so shrill it made her feel as though her head would split open. Without thinking, she ripped off her oxygen mask and threw her helmet into her lap. The sound was still there, still loud enough to cause a headache, but not bad enough so she couldn’t think anymore. She’d have to do this without a chance of fighting along with the others then. And then she saw something move on her right. Out of the corner of her eye she caught sight of a familiar shape. She turned her head and at the same time she sensed, rather than saw the ship hunting her descend a couple of feet. Fighting hard to keep her own ship level, she saw Lucas wave at her from the other cockpit. He too had dropped his helmet and was unmistakably smiling. Somehow that smile was enough to ground her. She took a deep breath and nodded. Questioningly she raised a fist and he shook his head, held up two fingers instead, stuck together and then he split the two fingers to signal the peace sign. Frowning, Grace turned to face forward again. Nothing but miles upon miles of forest to either side and, a couple of clicks ahead, she spotted the tell-tale glinting of water. Surely that lake would be where that sadistic son of a bitch would bring her down.

Grace swallowed hard and turned to look at Lucas again. She’d asked him if he wanted them to decelerate quickly, but he’d suggested something else. Something that could result in nothing if it went wrong. But it was worth a shot. And really, it was her own fault she was stuck underneath this monstrosity now. Her own fault she had no means of escape. She’d flown too low when the attack had come and now she was nothing but a mouse waiting to be squashed.

She nodded and he held up three fingers.

Right.

Her heart was beating faster now as she watched him drop one finger.

Where would she be without him now? This friend had been there for her every single day of their academy days, even when he’d signed up for the cultural and linguistic path of academia offered there and she’d switched to engineering.

Another finger dropped.

And then they’d both signed up with the SGC and ended up on the same team. She knew what he wanted her to do without him needing to tell her out loud. Had it been like this for her parents? That they could understand each other on missions without needing to talk? Would this happen to her and Torren, too? Eventually? That was, if he was chosen for a team, or he wanted to join up permanently at all.

The thumb dropped as well and Grace ripped the control stick to the left, felt herself get pushed into her seat. And there it was. Her window of opportunity. She pulled hard and her fighter shot up into the sky. She could see the enemy ship swerve, undecided on whether to follow her or the other fighter.

_Caleb kept wanting to drag her into a discussion, but there was nothing but one-syllable prompts that she could offer him. She really had no idea what he wanted from her. She’d taken them out for ice cream and, as promised, had taken them to see one of those new merchandise-driven movies._

_Alex had seen the very same plot about a dozen times in other movies just like it, but Caleb insisted that this was completely new. It was kind of adorable, she had to admit, but she couldn’t exactly tell him so without hurting his feelings. And who wanted to do that on the first day of Christmas break?_

_Among happy babbling she turned the car into the driveway, from where she could see the inviting lights emanating from the windows of their house. Evan was home already. She let out a relieved sigh. Missions weren’t as dangerous anymore, not by a long shot, but she was always happy to see that the rest of SG-1 had returned her husband home to her. The past had shown that even diplomatic missions could go south easily enough._

_“Mom!”_

_“Yeah,” she coughed and turned her head to see Caleb frowning at her._

_“Did you think the historical aspect was accurate?”_

_“What?” Alex breathed._

_“Do you think the pyramids were built like that? I mean, before Ranger Patrol got there and made the slaves turn against the evil king? I mean… do you think the rigging and the life of the workers was like that?”_

_Alex blinked. If she told her son now she’d taken a well-deserved nap during the movie, he was going to kill her. “Uhm…”_

_“I mean, I saw Daniel’s book,_ _I know what he thinks, but do_ you _really think the pyramids were just monuments to the Pharaos and the Gods?! Just look at his evidence!“_

_Alex swallowed hard and shrugged.“Well, it makes sense, doesn’t it? Do you know what Daniel said?“_

_“He said the pyramids were built as landing pl-“_

_“Mommy, is Daddy home?“ Grace interrupted him from the backseat and Alex turned around to look at her._

_“I was talking!” Caleb shouted._

_“I know, Caleb, I don’t think the pyramids were landing platforms. Now, go inside, I’m sure Dad is cooking something.”_

_Caleb gave a little grunt, but left the car without further ado. He was really fairly easy to handle, even if he was angry. When the car door fell shut behind him, Alex turned around to look at Grace again. As usual, she had taken off her coat and draped it over herself like a blanket. “Don’t you want to go in to say hi to Dad?”_

_Grace pressed her lips tightly together. “Could you go inside and tell him to come get me?”_

_“To come get you?”_

_“Yeah… you know that last scene when Major Tom rescued that princess?”_

_No. She didn’t remember that scene. Had she slept through the whole thing?! “Sure.”_

_Grace frowned briefly, then started explaining. Fast. And in a whisper so low Alex could barely make out her words. It was almost as though Grace was ashamed of what she was saying. “Could you go in and tell him to come and carry me inside like that Major carried that princess?”_

_Baffled, Alex stared at her daughter. Normally, she pretended to be tough. Tougher than Caleb, and she rarely allowed herself to show weakness, especially in front of her big. But Caleb wasn’t here. And maybe, just maybe, this was it. A last flicker of the small child she’d been until recently. “Okay, honey,” Alex said, smiling. “You know, I’m sure he’ll be delighted to do it.” Really, it was no small wonder, she thought as she closed the door behind her. Grace hadn’t seen her dad in two weeks. She’d missed him and Alex was relieved to know that Grace wanted her Daddy like this._

_Grace didn’t have to wait long. In fact, barely five minutes had passed, before Evan was back by the car and was leaning on the roof to look at her on the backseat. She had already undone the seat belt and was looking up at him with wide, blue eyes._

_“You’re asleep, Princess?” he asked in a low voice, revelling in the soft smile on her lips and the way she shut her eyes closed and let her head fall on her shoulder. “Right…” he whispered, bending low over her and scooping her up in his arms. He hadn’t carried her in a while and he was surprised to feel how heavy she was._

_“Dad?” Her breath hit his neck, as he closed the car door and made towards the front door._

_“Yes?”_

_“Did you carry Mom like this when you got married?”_

_He shook his head, forcing down the memory of the times when he’d carried Alex, her head resting on his shoulder and her arms around his neck for support. The pleasant occasions seemed to fade against the last horrible memory. She’d nearly died there on Gaia when she’d been hit and poisoned by a Furling weapon. Another time, Ba’al had just ripped their daughter from them, leaving her a sobbing mess. “No,” he answered. “We got married at City Hall, you know? We didn’t even have party.”_

_“And you didn’t carry her over the threshold?” Her voice sounded incredulous and he couldn’t help but smile down at her._

_“No, I didn’t.” He paused, standing by the door. He’d left it standing open and he could see their new dog wagging his tale as he looked up at them. Grinning, he kissed her forehead. “May I carry_ you _over the threshold?”_

_She nodded graciously and he held back a laugh as he opened the door with his knee and carried her into the house._

In a tight spiral, she corkscrewed up even further, then she flew level again, looking out for Lucas and she felt her heart drop. He was there alright, but followed by two small, drone-like objects, both of them were shooting at him, while the ship below moved its snout upward as well. Her stomach in a tight knot, Grace took aim and fired. Both objects went up in a blaze and she caught up to Lucas again. He nodded appreciatively and pointed up. A second later a massive fireball lit up the sky and within seconds about a dozen other F-305’s were shooting down towards them, heading for the ship that had nearly forced her to crash. Smiling, she placed the helmet back on her head. Yes, the transmission was clear as a bill again.

“-go.” Miller.

“Sorry, we were out of commission for a while.” She heard Lucas say as they both turned down to join the other fighters.

“Yeah, radios were jammed. Let's take out this bitch, then we can head home, Princess.”

Grace nodded and forced herself to breathe normally again.

And then the other ship vanished into thin air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, it hasn't even been a whole week! Hope you guys are ok!
> 
> So, a new enemy, huh? Is it a new one? Hmm... I wonder ;) Any guesses?


	42. Chapter 42

_2034_

The door hadn’t even closed behind Ronon before he spoke, his eyes darting between the people already present in Carter’s office. “How bad is it?”

Evan hadn’t sat down yet and Carter was busy scrolling through the log on her tablet as well. She looked up and nodded at Miller and Guide who had both played active parts in the battle just now. Torren was already sitting down, twirling the pen of his tablet between his fingers and staring at the brightly shining tablet in front of him. He’d been their one link to the Wraith during the fight and the contact had clearly taken its toll upon him.

“Bad,“ Guide said in his husky voice. Whatever he’d had to do just now, he sure as hell looked about as exhausted as Torren. A small, oozing cut above his eyebrow was a living monument to the Wraith’s diminished healing abilities.

Issuing nothing but a low grunt, Ronon sat down next to him, arms crossed over his chest. Carter frowned down at him. She hadn’t said so, but Evan had gotten the distinct impression that she wasn’t all too impressed with Ronon Dex’s attitude towards them all this past week. Evan exchanged a glance with her and sat down as well, before she took a seat next to Miller. Why was it, that it was always her team on duty when these things happened? Miller had been in charge of the defensive strike against the enemy ship, because she’d been the one on duty.

“Guide,“ Carter began and the Wraith’s head turned slowly towards her, his eyes glinting slightly. “What’s the status of your Hive?“

“As I have said, Colonel Carter, it is bad,” he looked at Torren, who had raised his hands to his temple, massaging the skin there with narrowed eyes. “It will take her several days at least to heal before she is ready to defend this settlement again.”

Miller shifted in her seat, looking uncomfortable, but Evan ignored her. He knew very well that he was probably thinking of her twin boys back home. Heck, he wanted to get going, too, but the Major clearly felt the implications of this message as well as he did.

“We’ll stay as long as it takes you to get ready again.” He said, looking at Ronon, not Guide. He was the one who had to consent to their stay.

Ronon’s eyes narrowed, but for once he refrained from picking up hostilities again. He just nodded, and grunted his approval. “Fine. But who did it? There hasn’t been a real attack in years! The Hive is more of a precaution than anything else. And the Furlings are gone.”

“That was no Furling vessel.” Guide folded his hands and looked down on his long fingers. “The Furlings would have wiped us out quickly enough. They would not have attempted to fool you with a fake ship as they did down here.” He nodded at Torren in appreciation. Clearly that message had been exchanged as well during their contact. “They may have been vicious, but they were honourable.”

Evan snorted despite himself. What was honourable about attacking people of another galaxy in an attempt to conquer them? Well… at least the Furlings had stuck to their side of the bargain in the Milky Way galaxy.

“It looked familiar enough,” Miller said quietly, drawing everyone’s attention. She bit her lip. “Well, it did. I recognised it immediately from one of those lectures you gave back at the Academy, General. About the different kinds of ships we’ve encountered over the years.”

Well, if she said so… Miller and the other pilots were the only ones who had seen those ships up close. Since the Wraith didn’t exactly operate with visual sensors, and the _Hammond_ had been unable to leave the atmosphere, the only ships they had seen down here were three or so bombers and the few sleek silverish fighters that had swarmed down on them and which had been taken out easily enough by the F-305’s before Grace had been trapped beneath one of the bombers and Miller and her team had flown up to get rid of that ship.

“Well?” Carter prompted, sounding impatient.

Miller shook her head. “It looked like an Aurora-class ship. Exactly like it, I swear. They jammed our radios, all the sensors, but I swear, I know what I saw.”

The silence which followed these words seemed leaden, the air became to be harder to breathe. An Ancient war ship, or a replica of it, was a serious threat. Not just to Guide’s Hive and the Athosian settlement, but to every other sentient being in this galaxy, if it was used as it had been today. Whoever had commanded that ship, clearly knew what they were doing and it seemed like mere chance that the _Hammond_ had made it out of this encounter unscathed.

“I thought they were all gone?” Ronon was frowning at him now, almost accusingly. “I thought all the ships were destroyed or used for the evacuation in the Ancients’ war with the Wraith.”

“That’s what we know of them,” Carter said. “However, we can’t be sure that not more of them were damaged and remain dormant to this day. You know as well as we do, that we came across several Ancient warships.”

“What if it's Replicators” Miller suggested. “I mean, they must know how to build these ships, right?”

Another cheery thought. “McKay made sure there were none of those left,” he said, ignoring the tight knot in the pit of his stomach.

This tension was getting to him. Not knowing and having only one lead was bad enough. Evan balled his hands into fists. “Right…” he muttered, ignoring the tingling sensation at the back of his neck. They were walking into a trap. They were bound to be. “Guide, you told Torren about the meeting place? About possible Ancient databanks?”

“Ancient, Nox… yes, I did that.” He looked again at Torren. “You conveyed my proposal then?”

Torren looked up from his notes and Evan felt a twinge of worry for the boy. He clearly wasn’t uncomfortable around the Wraith, and he seemed worried about that. Maybe Evan should have that talk with him about his mother and the way she’d handled herself. It was high time. That was, if it wasn’t already too late.

Torren shook his head and looked at the Wraith again. “To be honest, I’m still not entirely sure it was the right call.” Well, there was that.

Guide’s laugh made him stiffen, but when the Wraith cocked his head and looked Torren up and down, he realized that Guide seemed impressed. “Clearly I have underestimated you.”

_You and me both,_ Evan thought.

_She’d been out of it the entire journey back to Earth and Evan hated every second he couldn’t spend next to her. But there was work to be done, reports to be written, plans to be made…_

_Apparently McKay had started working on a virus that could turn the tide in the war against the Furlings. It would still very likely take more than just a few weeks to complete it, especially since they couldn’t exactly beta test this thing without revealing their intentions, but all in all, the plan seemed sound enough._

_And then, just a few hours after Alex had finally woken up, they had arrived back home and Keller let him take her home. Within a day Grace and Caleb were back with them as well. Once more Ellen hadn’t asked too many questions and as usual Adam had bothered him about their absence more than just a little the moment they were back within reach. Everything seemed normal. Like nothing had happened. He was sitting in the comfortable yellow armchair, sipping his coffee, as he watched Alex sit on the sofa, one child on either side of her, as she listened to Caleb’s voice. The big book in their son’s lap was beautifully illustrated, but Alex wasn’t looking at the pictures, but at the boy’s tousled blond hair. Every now and again, she’d look over to Grace, who was fast asleep in her other arm._

_Evan could see how tortuous this was for her. She’d been sure she’d never see these two again._

_“Now, you two-“ Caleb read, frowning as Alex brushed her hand through his hair, and imitating the voice of an angry mother almost perfectly, “this year, you behave yourselves. If I get one more owl telling me you’ve- you’ve blown up a toilet or-“_

_The sound of the doorbell ringing interrupted him and he looked up, his eyes wide with excitement. “It’s the pizza!”_

_“I’m sure it is!” Evan said, and, grinning, he got to his feet. He kept listening to Caleb imitating Molly Weasley as he walked over to the front door and he stopped short when he saw who was waiting on the other side._

_With a slight smile, he pulled open the door to let Murdoch and Anna come in. “Where’s Josh?” Evan asked._

_“School?” Murdoch laughed. “Just because you take your kids out of school, doesn’t mean others don’t have to go.”_

_“Funny,” Evan said, looking down at his watch. Caleb and Grace really should be in school right now, but the thing was, he couldn’t bring himself to take them there after Alex had only just returned. He should stop doing that._

_“We brought pizza instead. Good enough?” Anna held up three large cartons and pushed them against Evan’s chest. The heat nearly burnt his chin. “And I’d like to talk to Alex, if you don’t mind?”_

_Evan didn’t need to be told twice. He took the cartons from her and called out to Caleb and Grace to help him in the kitchen._

_“I’m coming too,” Murdoch shook his head and went ahead into the kitchen. “These two goblins are sure to break everything, huh?”_

_Anna threw him a smile, then she went over to the living room, where she sat down next to Alex, taking a tablet out of her bag as she did so._

_“So, work stuff?” Evan whispered, raising his eyebrow at Murdoch as he lifted Grace unceremoniously into one of the chairs. They’d leave some of the pizza for Anna and Alex, but judging by the way Alex and Anna had already started talking to each other, it seemed doubtful they’d be able to join them._

_“Sure. Apparently she needs Alex’s advice on these lessons she’s planning with Jackson for the new recruits at the Academy.”_

_“Huh…” Evan shook his head, then put plates on the table. Caleb immediately stood on his chair and started distributing them. “Listen, I never really got around to thank you…”_

_“Don’t. You know how this works, don’t you? You’ve been at it long enough.”_

_For a moment Evan just stood there, torn between a chuckle and a sigh. In the end he just shook his head. “No, I do.” And he did. There were a few rules to be followed in this line of work. No man was left behind. You took care of each other. You had each other’s backs._

_Except when you didn’t. And, boy did he have to stop thinking abo_ _ut that. Sooner or later this was bound to drive him nuts. So, instead of saying anything else, he pulled the jug of ice tea he’d made that morning, out of the fridge and put it on the table. A mere second later, he heard Alex’s laugh in the living room._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Dear all, I’m so so sorry this has taken so long. Right now I’m terribly tired and exhausted from work. It feels like one desaster follows the next and everything’s emotionally charged and I’m sometimes torn between laughing about it all and getting angry. And then there are infinitely beautiful moments and then I remember why I’m a teacher. Let’s say: Covid is still taking its toll on my work, although I’m back at it full time and at the same time I have to and want to perform well and start projects…
> 
> This messed up paragraph summarises pretty well what I feel like right now. But I’m glad I managed to get this chapter (probably full of mistakes) out there right now. Take care, everyone! I can’t wait to hear what you think of it!


	43. Chapter 43

** Chapter 43 **

_2034_

“I sure as hell wasn’t expecting this.” Caleb was standing in the middle of the main road leading into the centre of the village. His wide eyes wandered from the tavern up ahead back to Alex. “Is this normal?”

“What were you expecting?” she asked, because _How would I know?_ would have been too harsh an answer. They had no idea who had attacked them or the village, so how was she supposed to know how their new enemy operated. A Goa’uld attack looked different from a Wraith attack. A Furling attack looked even more different. But that comment sounded nothing but petty. The thing was, nobody had expected the damage down here to be so small. Yes, the _Hammond_ had been here to protect the village but a couple of fighters had still made it through the Earth ship’s defences. One had crashed into one of the main buildings, but apart from property damage and just a couple of wounded Athosians, this whole thing wasn’t a total disaster.

Caleb hesitated for a moment, then he shrugged. “This looks bad.”

“Yes, I suppose it would.” And, to be fair, she’d been terrified the first time she’d seen what an aerial assault could do to a place where people lived. She’d been in firefigths before that, but she hadn’t seen actual rubble where before there had been buildings, until she and Evan had been trapped on Larsa. This was nothing compared to the town that had been obliterated by Ba’al’s forces. Nothing compared to the stench of burnt wood and human flesh singing the nostrils.

As they drew closer to the bar in the centre of the village, they were overtaken by a couple of soldiers, hurrying to assist Doctor Montgomery who was taking care of a few people sitting on the ground in front of the pub. Alex paused when she spotted Halling, pointing people into different direction. Organizing at taking care of everyone as usual. For a brief moment their eyes met and Halling smiled before returning his attention to the task at hand. Emma emerged from the bar and talking quietly to Montgomery, gesturing with a frown into the shadows behind her.

Alex heard a sharp intake of breath and Josh pushed past her to run towards one of the people sitting on the ground, pressing a piece of cloth against their forehead. It was that girl he’d spent so much time with… Eva… Alex returned her gaze to Emma, as Josh knelt down in front of Eva, placing a hand gently on her knee. “Can we help?” Ales shouted, ignoring Caleb shuffling his feet behind her.

Emma shook her head and eyed Josh for a moment, before waving at Alex to follow her inside, as Caleb went to assist with the remains of the house. “Is Eva gonna be okay?” Alex asked, though she’d seen the way Eva had smiled at Josh. Nobody about to die smiled like that. Ever.

“She got hit by a falling beam,” Emma said, as she and Alex walked past the pub and towards a small two-storey house with a small garden out front. “But she’ll be okay.” The small house in which the Rogers-Dex family lived had two storeys and three bedrooms upstairs, only two of which were occupied, which told Alex more about the plans Ronon and Emma had had at the beginning, than Emma need ever tell her. A few evenings ago, Emma and Ronon had invited Alex and Evan over for an informal dinner, during which Ronon had spoken very little and Emma and Alex had turned to drinking more than was good for either one of them. Grudgingly, Ronon had agreed to let Alex and Evan stay the night in the spare bedroom.

“Looked like a nasty cut.”

“Yeah, but she’s tough.” Emma said, her voice almost bursting with confidence, but Alex would’ve been surprised to hear anything but that statement. With a vague smile, Emma pushed open the door to her house and went in ahead. The first thing Alex spotted was an assortment of leatherbound notebooks lying on the table in the centre of the room, some small, some larger. Different qualities of workmanship had gone into making them. The ones towards the back were clearly made on Earth, Alex remembered the brand and the printed letters embossed in the faux leather from the collections she herself had brought to Atlantis and had lent to whoever preferred paper to screen. They must be the ones Emma had on her when the Furlings attacked Atlantis. But there were other books too. Books, which Alex remembered from the first few days, when Emma had shown her, Josh and Caleb her notes on the nearby ruins. But there were more here now. Dozens more.

Wordlessly, Emma stood by as Alex approached the table and hesitantly picked up the first book. It was well-worn, dark blue and the paper still looked perfect, even after over twenty years. The first entries were notes on a linguistic project Emma had been working on. As Alex skimmed the notes, she remembered the meeting during which Emma had talked about a certain Ancient dialect that only appeared to exist in one corner of the galaxy. She smiled and worked her way through the notes until she reached the first empty page.

Twenty or so followed. A gaping hole, where there should have been even more research notes. A void waiting to be filled.

What followed wasn’t research, but more of a log book, starting about three weeks after the loss of the city. Three weeks during which the refugees had still counted on the others to return.

Alex bit her lip and put the notebook down again. “How many more of these are there?” she asked, looking at the other notebooks. Two from Earth, but the others must have come from here, from the Pegasus galaxy. Small books, big ledgers. All of them filled with notes and diary entries.

“Thirty three.” Emma stepped closer and picked up one of the medium sized books on the other side of the table. The ones at the bottom looked more or less the same size. “Ronon started making them for me at some point. He became really good over time.” With a smile, she picked up a volume that looked like it might fall apart at any moment. It was clearly one of his earlier works and as she waved it at Alex, the other woman laughed softly.

“I didn’t know he was artistic like that.”

Emma’s hand stroked the soft and well-worn leather. “He’d never call it artistic, but yeah.” She pushed a hand through her hair and turned sideways to look out of the open door and at the square where Tau’ri and Athosians were still talking. Alex made out Evan and Ronon as they motioned for someone to come to them.

“Why are you showing me these?”

“I figured we should try and preserve them,” Emma said, clearing her throat and returning her attention to Alex. “You know… the attack just now made me realize that I should do something for posterity’s sake, other than writing everything down and cataloguing ruins my people come across.”

Alex stared at her for a moment, then she nodded. “Shouldn’t be a problem,” she answered hoarsely, pushing down the nagging feeling at the back of her mind. “Easy enough to scan these aboard the _Hammond._ You’re sure you want me to take everything here with me? Every single detail of your life?” After all, these things would go through the hands of the IOA and the Air Force as well.

“Don’t worry,” Emma said, “I know how archaeologists like you get. The really personal stuff isn’t here. I left them for future generations to excavate.”

At this, Alex let out a huff, but really, there was no point to argue. She picked up another notebook, one of the small ones. It was heavy in her hands, because it was so thick and immediately she knew that Emma had carried it around a lot. She could almost feel the imprints of fingers holding the heavy book, because the leather was much smoother there.

“This one goes along with it,” Emma said, handing a bigger ledger over to her. “I took notes in the small one and made a more comprehensive copy later on.”

“What is it?” Alex asked, opening the small book and her heart started pounding in her chest, as it always did, at the sight of dozens of new letters. The red ink was unlike anything she’d seen yet, and though the shape of the letters looked familiar, there was very little else she could make out at first glance.

Emma sat on the table and opened the big ledger. “Old Satedan.”

Alex’s heart leapt and her head snapped up. Did she dare? “Tell me more.”

“Well, I’ve been meaning to give _these_ to you anyway, but I wasn’t sure.” She started grinning, and then continued talking faster. “See, my tablet ran out of power pretty quickly and I didn’t exactly have backup, until about a year after we got here. I only had one picture of that stele with me, and it only hit me when I started working with Ronon on recording this and-“

“This looks _so_ much like the writing we couldn’t decipher!”

“Right?” Emma looked smugly down at the pages. “But now we can.”

Alex let out a long breath, fighting the urge to run outside and beg Evan to let her stay here. If one thing was certain, then it was that now they had the key to study the steles and the monuments and to study them properly. With Ronon’s and Emma’s help. She bit her lip and shook her head. “Evan’s gonna tell me I’ll have to study this whole thing from the pictures we have and the notes I already took.” Swallowing hard, she looked up at Emma. “The fact that the Satedan’s ancestors are most likely among the first humans in this galaxy seeing eye-to-eye with the Ancients is not gonna change that.” 

“I’m glad you’re the one posing this hypothesis.” Emma looked down on her notes again. Her shoulders were slightly slumped, all the tension seemed to have left her body as she held the book close to her chest, pulled up a chair and sat down. “You know, I’d love to dive into research as well… but I get the feeling it’s not our place anyway.” She turned her head. Ronon and Evan were talking to Major Hernandez now and behind her, Alex spotted Josh and Eva talking, looking only at each other and ignoring everything else.

No, this couldn’t be the end of it.

_Loud singing had never been anything Evan had felt comfortable with. He always felt more than just a bit embarrassed about accompanying a song, even if he was slightly drunk. Well, he couldn’t claim to be sober now, and, as far as he could tell, both Caleb and Grace were more or less wasted. Somehow nobody had paid attention as to what exactly the two of them had loaded onto their plates for dessert. Surely the two would pay for it the next day, but for now he couldn’t help but grin at the kids lying flat on their backs on the bench, their mouths still smeared with the alcohol-laced pudding, colourful lights flashing over their faces as loud music made the air around them vibrate._

_Evan leaned back, the glass of beer balanced on his knee as he watched Alex dance. She wasn’t graceful exactly, but the way she moved on the dance floor, made him smile and as she twirled three times and nearly crashed into one of the food-laden tables, he felt a satisfying pinch deep inside. The danger posed by the Furlings wasn’t even close to being over, in fact, things were looking worse now than ever before, but they were here together and sometimes you really needed to go out and have a bit of a party. To celebrate life and what better place to do that than at a wedding._

_Taking a sip of beer, he watched as Vala approached Alex with a glass of champagne, swaying slightly and laughing so hard she had to wipe tears from her eyes. Kissing the other woman’s cheek, Alex twirled around Vala, her long, dark blue skirt swooshing over the floor and her hair standing slightly on edge. The pinch moved almost at once. From the pit of his stomach to his heart. It did that sometimes: hurt slightly, when he watched her. Sometimes she even managed to make him feel flustered just by walking into the room. Even after years and years. Wasn’t that insane? That she made him feel slightly hot around the collar, that she made his heart skip a beat out of the blue? But in a way that made him want to lean back, pick up a piece of paper and capture that moment for posterity's sake._

_He watched as Mitchell pulled Oscar into a tight embrace and kissed him on the mouth. A little twinge in his chest was the reminder he’d been waiting for all day. A reminder of the pain he’d felt back in the day, when he’d snitched on a grieving friend. This thing with Javier still kept him up at night sometimes. No matter how frequently he repeated Javier’s treachery in his mind. Mitchell didn’t have to fear losing his job or his posting now. Mitchell was free to love the guy he’d fallen for and decided to marry after just a few weeks._

_A soft snore made him turn his head. Caleb was smacking his lips in his sleep. It was downright scary how cute that little boy was. He really should take him to buy that softball glove he’d been asking for._

_“Evan!” Alex was walking towards him now, her hands outstretched. Behind her, Evan watched Jackson twirl Vala around as he tried to move along with the music without tripping over Vala’s skirt._

_“Yes, love of my life?” he asked, taking her hand and kissing her knuckles._ Yes, that’s what being drunk feels like. How could you forget? _He grinned despite himself. And let himself be pulled up by her. For a second there, the ground beneath his feet seemed to twist and shake, before he realised he was already leaning on Alex. Her breath tickled his ear when she spoke again._

_“Come on, we haven’t danced in forever.”_

_He nodded, agreeing, and let himself be led to the dance floor and ignoring the fact that Jonas was looking at them, Alex especially. He bit back the words_ Jonas is still eying you occasionally, you know that? _Because it didn’t matter. Not really._

_Not anymore._

The sun was burning down upon them hot and searing as they stood in the village square, surrounded by debris. Ronon stared down at Eva for a moment, a frown making his face look dangerous once again, but neither Eva, nor Josh seemed to notice.

“Hernandez, Jebson, I want you and your teams, to meet Miller and the rest of SG-8 at the Gate in two hours,” he said as soon as Major Timothy Jebson had joined him and Hernandez. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Josh’s head snap up.

“General?” Hernandez asked, wiping his brow. “We’re going off-world? I didn’t know we were doing that?”

Evan raised his eyebrows once, then turned to look up at the clear blue sky. How far up was that Wraith Hive. “You’ll be accompanying Guide and Torren Emmagan to a planet where there used to be an Ancient database.”

“We are?” Josh came to his feet, pounding his hands on his pants to clear them of dirt and dust. Evan raised his eyebrows at him for a brief moment, then returned his attention to his officers.

“Find out what you can. Most of all, find out if you can make out anything that could lead us to more information on Ancient war ships that might still be lying around.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, Sir?” Hernandez shot a scolding look at Josh, who was standing close to them now, ignoring Ronon’s scowl. “Why? Why’s that Wraith coming?”

Evan held back a sigh and shook his head instead. “Because, Major,” he said and focusing on the other’s face, “We were apparently just attacked by an Ancien warship, because there’s no Gate on that planet and you need a ride, because the Wraith are the Athosian’s allies, and because I’m telling you to.” This day was clearly taking it’s toll. He could feel a headache coming and all he wanted to do now was lie on his bed, drink a gallon of water and ignore the fact that he was sending his son, his daughter and all the kids of friends he’d brought along, on a different planet in a galaxy they still knew next to nothing about. But they needed archaeologists for this one, and they’d need backup. They needed good people to help. No matter how much he hated all of this.

Hernandez stiffened and the eyes widened for a second. “Yes, Sir.” He swallowed visibly and Evan nodded once and watched as Hernandez and Jebson called their teams together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Ooooh, yes, we’re going through the Gate! We’re off to excavate some more! Ha!
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me and this story!


	44. Chapter 44

_2034_

No matter how big the group heading towards the Gate was now compared to a normal contingent deployed for a mission, Evan doubted, even asking ten more people to join the thirteen now moving out, would have made him feel any better. How could he when both his children were among them, and when he entrusted their lives to the Wraith?

Guide would be waiting for them by the Stargate and in a way Evan was glad he didn’t have to see his face now. He felt Carter’s eyes on him as they stood on the bridge, watching the group vanish into the forest. For the first time in a very long time, he felt like he and Ronon were exactly on the same page. They didn’t like what was going on, but there was very little they could do about it. Mostly because their children were adults now, no matter how little either of them liked that.

“Evan?” Carter said quietly and he turned around to look behind them. Just a skeleton crew. Nobody in the immediate vicinity. He met Carter’s gaze again and the way she was scowling at him nearly made him grin despite everything.

“Sam?”

Beside him, Ronon shifted, but the other man didn’t speak up.

“You’re sure we’re doing the right thing here?”

He merely raised his shoulders, then turned to look at the place in the trees where their people had just vanished. “How could I be?” Crossing his arms over his chest, he raised a questioning eyebrow at Ronon. The Satedan took a whole ten seconds before he acknowledged the stare with a shrug and a low grunt.

“Worth a shot? Didn’t _you_ say that, Sam?” he added, making Cater grin and Ronon’s hand twitched, as though reaching for his gun. His shoulders were tense. Clearly he hadn’t seen his daughter go through the Gate on any kind of mission on her own too often. What was unsettling about this, was that Ronon vouched for Guide and was still nervous about all of this. Somehow Evan wished he could see into the other’s head and read his mind.

“Yes, I know the theory,” Carter grimaced, “but it’s a long shot. Trusting the Wraith to get us information on a possible newly recovered Ancient warship?”

“Trusting the Wraith isn’t that much of an issue by now, is it?” Evan shook his head. If Ronon didn’t trust Guide now, no matter how often the Wraith had screwed them over in the past, Ronon would never have let his daughter go along with them. He would never have allowed the Wraith to be even near that village. If one thing was certain, it was that if a former Runner could learn to trust them, then he had to learn that too. Even if it meant defying all his instincts. If Ronon could do it, then he could too. There’d been crazier alliances.

“No.” Carter stated without letting her eyes wander back to the forest below. “I mean, you know what happened to Cam.”

“Yes, I do.” How could he forget? How, when this whole trip had been brought on by Carter’s suggestions. “Don’t worry, though. I fully intend to retire as soon as we’re back on Earth. They won’t have a reason to do me in then.” _Maybe you should think about that too,_ he thought, but didn’t say it. The day Carter retired for good would be a very bleak day for the Air Force indeed.

Carter scoffed. “Fine… I’m just saying, if these people get lost or killed, we won’t have a good standing about coming back here to help.”

“I don’t think we have a good case no matter what,” he said coolly.

“They’re coming back,” Ronon said, his voice raspy and low. “Eva has never failed to return yet, and Guide is weirdly attached to Torren.”

“Yeah,” Evan muttered. “And I’m not at all worried about that.”

“This is the weirdest thing,” he heard Grace whisper up ahead as they moved through narrow, slightly moist corridors. The ground beneath their feet seemed to breathe with how alive this eco system of a ship was.

Not that Caleb had been on a lot of ships up until now, but he had to admit he’d never expected to find himself aboard one that felt like the digestive system of a predator.

“Shush.” Lucas shook his head at her and in the dim light, his blue eyes stood out even more. He turned to look at Caleb with a smile that nearly made him catch his breath. It was weird how that happened. Sometimes, out of the blue, their eyes met, and he would feel his heart leap. And it happened more and more often these days. Especially when he saw those dimples.

“Just saying…”

Ever since they had been brought aboard, Guide had taken the lead, and though Caleb still wasn't too fond of the Wraith, he appreciated not having to navigate these corridors on his own. Really, what sense did the layout make here? Would it ever make sense? But just as Caleb finished that thought, Guide turned his head ever so slightly to address Grace. “Has no one ever told you that it is rude to talk about a person’s home like this?”

“Your home’s that other Hive, though, isn’t it?” Grace retorted and by the way she was cocking her head, Caleb could practically see her cheeky grin.

Guide snorted, then turned sharp left. A couple of faceless, muscly giant-like, Wraith were standing on either side of a set of wing-shaped doors they were in front of now and as Guide approached, one of them waved his hand over a sensor and the bone-like structure of the door slid seamlessly into the wall like the wings of dead bats. _Creepy._

Up ahead, he spotted a vast room, surrounded by balconies stretching along one side of it about a third of the way up to the vast ceiling. As they entered the room, Caleb could make out six or so long cot-like structures set into the walls like alcoves.

“Neat prison cell,” Hernandez said as Caleb shifted closer to Grace. “D’you keep all your guests here?”

“Indeed we do,” Guide said, flashing a glance at them. “It is a journey of one day from here to Furling occupied space. These quarters will serve you well for the time being.”

“Furling occupied space?” Josh murmured. “When did that happen?” He cleared his throat when Guide looked at him. “Just asking. You know? Before, all we heard was that that place was abandoned and destroyed and without a Gate?”

“It is also part of the Furling Empire… or rather, it was. We cannot be sure, as you know.” Guide walked towards a narrow pillar in the centre of the room and waved his long-fingered hand over it. A soft beeping sound rang in their ears, making Caleb whirl around to face the door, but nothing came through there. “Dinner will be here within twenty minutes. I suggest you make yourselves comfortable.”

Ferretti stepped forward, her hand shifting ever so slightly to her side arm. “Really, that’s what you’re suggesting?”

“I am getting tired of your kind’s scepticism.” The Wraith hadn’t raised his voice, but it was hardly necessary. The sharp edge was thinly veiled behind the deep purr. Guide had hardly missed the way the humans in his company had shifted positions so they could strike more easily. Even Torren looked like he was about to open fire and only Eva seemed at easy, judging by the way she was staring at the Wraith now. Not that they’d stand a chance against a ship filled with Wraith, but that was hardly the point. Caleb caught Torren’s gaze, just as Miller squared her shoulders and spoke up, her eyes trained constantly on their unlikely ally.

“Would you trust us if you were in our shoes?”

The laugh which met these words ran through Caleb like an icy knife. When the sound had finally subsided to a low chuckle, Guide answered, his head slightly cocked and his eyes trained on Miller, who hadn’t backed down an inch. “I have had to put my trust in you before this. I have not always come out of it the worse for wear. Despite your uncle’s best efforts. So, once again, I suggest you get comfortable.” He flashed a brief look at Ronon’s daughter, then he made his way towards the door, which hissed open at his approach. Nobody moved, even after he’d vanished from sight

Hours passed. Every now and again Caleb would look down at his watch and swallow the sigh working its way up his throat. How long had he been with the Stargate Program now? What date was it anyway?

He flipped through the open notebook on his tablet to check the date. About half a year. Could that actually be? Probably, because the calendar on his tablet and the other devices he’d been given hadn’t been changed to Pegasus time. What a weird concept.

Looking up, he saw Miller and Hernandez chatting quietly, each holding a piece of fruit in their hand. Normally neither of them would have touched the food Guide had provided for them, but after Eva had unceremoniously filled a plate and started eating, they had all relaxed slightly. Eva was the one who knew the Wraith better than anyone, and at the same time she was bound to be the one person who’d mistrust them the most, given her father’s history. Her willingness to eat the food provided to them made them all relax. Some, like Lucas, were even fast asleep. Caleb wouldn’t have believed that this kind of thing could just happen in the Air Force, but apparently, he’d been wrong.

Miller laughed about something Hernandez had just said, her head thrown back. She was sitting on top of the table, the two of them watching the door, their guns casually in their laps.

Behind them, in one of the alcoves, Caleb could see Josh and Eva talking quietly, Josh gesticulating with the pastry still in his hands, while Eva kept staring into his eyes. She didn’t talk much, but the way she and Josh appeared to move in almost perfect sync, told Caleb all he really needed to know about the two of them. For them, at least, it was a good thing that their return had been delayed for a couple of days. He couldn’t even begin to imagine what it was like to meet someone you cared about on a different planet in another galaxy, only to know that you’d have to leave them behind, possibly forever.

Wasn’t that why Daniel had stayed on Abydos the first time around?

He quickly lowered his gaze when Josh turned to look in his direction. There were so many notes he still needed to get through. And it was easier to get work done when you didn’t have to think about other people’s love lives. And it was safer to work. Especially with Lucas fast asleep right next to him. He was so close that Caleb could easily have touched his foot. But Caleb didn’t even look down at him. Not anymore. Not directly. He didn’t need to. Out of the corner of his eye he’d watched Lucas for what seemed like forever and not for the first time, had he been astounded by how long the other’s eyelashes were. How Lucas’ mouth was turned slightly downward when he was sleeping, a stark contrast to the seemingly ever-present smile when he was awake.

Caleb shut his eyes for a moment, forcing his mind to focus again on the notes. They were the ones his mother had made about the steles before he was even born, and they told him about how the Atlantis expedition had followed the path they painted until Evan and Alex Lorne finally arrived on the very planet that Caleb and the others were headed to now. The new notes which could help decipher the hitherto unknown language were already on the tablet, but Caleb doubted he’d be able to solve even part of the riddle before they arrived at their new location. What he needed right now was a proper linguist by his side, the actual texts in front of him and about a dozen notebooks. Yes. Paper. Who’d have thought? Or Josh. Josh would do just fine, too, but Josh was busy right now and Caleb wasn’t sure he wanted to rip him away from Eva.

Running his hands through his hair, he pulled up another file. The reports his parents had written after they’d been liberated. This Ba’al guy truly seemed like a jerk. And the fact that he’d used his sister that way, made Caleb downright sick. He’d read the file about a dozen times and every time he did, the inexplicable jealousy he felt whenever he thought of Nora ebbed away. That sister of his had never really been part of his family. He couldn’t even begin to imagine what this whole thing must have done to his parents. And wasn’t it just weird that they were still together? Even after something as horrific as this?

A soft tap in his side, made him look up. The heavy boot withdrew, almost flinching back at Caleb’s stare. “You look really grumpy,” Lucas said and when Caleb finally looked up, the other cocked his head. The bright eyes made Caleb’s heart flutter for a moment and he quickly pushed back the uncomfortable pressure in his chest. “You haven’t been that grumpy in a while.”

Caleb scoffed and shook his head. “I’m not grumpy,” he answered, his eyes back on the tablet, even though none of the symbols staring back at him made any sense.

Slowly, Lucas sat up and scooted so close that Caleb could feel the warmth radiating off him. And it didn’t have too much to do with Lucas’ calf touching his hip. “What then?”

“Pensive?”

Lucas’ teeth flashed as he laughed and he almost casually put a hand on Caleb’s knee, the warmth of the touch enough to make Caleb want to lean in. Swallowing hard, he caught himself staring at Lucas’ lips, but he didn’t pull away. Did he dare? Even with so many people around? Or was he reading the signs completely wrong here?

Heart pounding in his chest, he reached up to touch Lucas’ cheek, urging to feel the stubble starting to spread over his cheeks, and instead put his hand on Lucas’. At the impact, Lucas’ lips twisted into a soft smile, which was illuminated by the soft glow of the tablet still on Caleb’s knee and for the first time Caleb was glad he’d picked this shadowy corner.

For a moment there, Lucas seemed to be on the verge of saying something, his blue eyes fixed on his as his lips parted and his free hand shot up briefly, mere millimetres away from Caleb’s collar, when a low shudder reverberated through the air, chilling Caleb. They locked eyes and he knew. He just knew, that Lucas wanted to lean in to. To make their lips meet and forget about anybody else. And then there was that soft hiss again as the door opened.

Caleb bit his lip, the tension between him and Lucas still there, but slowly beginning to break, no matter how desperately he tried to cling onto it. He turned his head as Guide walked in and Hernandez and Miller approached him.

“We have arrived,” Guide stated.

Lucas’ hand twitched in Caleb’s and when Caleb turned to look at him again, Lucas was smiling again. “Time to get you to your new workspace, huh?” he said with a twinge of regret in his voice.

!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops! So sorry!
> 
> I know, it’s been a while since I last posted, but these past few weeks…. I seem to be repeating myself. Anyway…
> 
> What do you think is gonna happen next? I would love to hear your theories!


	45. Chapter 45

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t be alarmed if you find yourself lost at some point in this chapter. It is fully intentional, I promise! Hope you enjoy reading this!

_2034_

_“When are you gonna be home then?”_

_“I’m planning on heading back right after classes. I still have to pack a couple of things.”_

_“Packing’s never easy with you. Even when we’re all in uniform all the time.” The smile was easy enough to make out._

_“Oh, come on, I’ve never been complicated that way.”_

_“Not at first, no, but somehow you’ve become-“_

_“What?” Alex brushed a hand through her hair and grinned at the ground as she walked towards Fairchild Hall, the main academic building at the Academy._

_Evan sighed on the other end of the line. “More attached to books than ever before.”_

_“I’m not that bad,” she retorted quickly, making him laugh._

_“We’ll see.”_

_“I’m not!” Alex exclaimed, feeling like that girl again. Pushing up her glasses, she briefly looked up to nod at two of the cadets she’d teach later on._

_“Alright,” Evan laughed again. “So I’ll see you tonight. Caleb and Grace said they’re coming too.”_

_“Sounds nice. I take it you’re gonna cook.”_

_“You bet. Listen, Alex,” he said as she walked through the atrium, heading towards the staff dining hall, “I gotta go. I’ll see you tonight.”_

_“Sure thing, General.” She was smiling despite herself, dodging the gaze of one of the younger cadets as she pushed open the glass door to enter the vast dining hall. It was infinitely smaller than the one below in which the cadets were already being served lunch, but it was still big enough to get lost in._

_“Take care, Doctor Lorne.”_

_“You, too, Mister.”_

He was going to be sick. He knew it before he even opened his eyes. Before he had the chance to take in the throbbing pain in his temples. At least his body had the sense to turn him onto his side before the hurling started.

The sick fell quite a bite, and Caleb blinked, staring down at the puddle of unidentifiable mush and wiped his mouth, taking care not to fall off the surface he was lying on and landing in his former dinner.

_What the hell..._

“Caleb?”

“Grace!” He sat up, looking to the space where the voice had come from. He couldn’t make out a whole lot. They were inside a room, the light within so dim he could only make out the floor around him by the soft shimmering of inlaid gold. “Grace?” He asked again, louder this time, but his own voice was enough to make him feel queasy again. The volume alone made his ears ring. 

“Yeah, I’m here.”

He heard the soft rustling of fabric and turned his head and once again had to hold on tight to the slick edge of the narrow surface he was lying on. Carefully, he sat up and wiped his forehead with a shaky hand. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” It was barely more than a sigh, but it was a word at least.

Blinking he looked around some more, but he could barely make out anything. Her voice had come from the right, though. If he got up, he could make it over to her. If his legs were willing to carry him that was.

“I feel sick… what happened?”

Caleb closed his eyes, took a deep breath and swung his legs over the edge of the table. “I-“ he began, thinking hard. What was the last thing he remembered? The Wraith ship? Lucas? His stomach twisted painfully at the thought of him. Lucas wasn’t here. Or was he? And the others? “Where is everyone?”

“I don’t know… there was that ship… wasn’t there?”

Caleb tried to remember as he got to his feet and slowly made it over to where her voice was coming from. As he moved, he noticed a few things. There was no sound, other than his and Grace’s breathing. The floor had the same pattern. He couldn’t make out the source of the dim light, it was probably very high up. “What ship?” His brain was fuzzy. There wasn’t any other word to put it. Like cotton had been put around the edges of his consciousness.

“Is this the first time you were stunned?”

There she was. He could see her now. Pale, her hair dishevelled and she’completely stripped of her weapons. Heck, he hadn’t even checked his own, had he? She was sitting on a table that looked exactly like the one he’d been lying on, but there was no vomit here. Lucky girl. She’d always been tougher than him.

“I guess so?” The sound of clearing his throat hurt like a punch to the temple. “There… there _was_ a ship…” Grace looked up at him and her bloodshot eyes were wide with fear. She’d looked at him like this shortly before the world had gone completely dark, hadn’t she? Right there in the middle of the derelict courtyard, where she and Lucas had stood guard while Torren, Guide and Josh were taking a closer look at the outer ruins. The memories rushed back, not one at a time, but all at once. He bent over, his head still throbbing. Lucas…Josh… his team. What had happened to them? Were they even still alive?

“Not a Wraith ship, right?”

He shook his head. “I don’t know…” He’d only just settled on the ground to take a really close look at the shattered crystals he’d only just uncovered. “That place was in ruins… but not really, huh?”

“Clearly Caldwell didn’t do a perfect job back in the day.” Grace started rubbing her temples and pulled her legs close to her chest. “I guess there was some sort of shielding. There was certainly an EM field down there, but not a strong one. Might very well have been protecting the database before the whole thing came crashing down.”

Caleb nodded, wrapping his arms around his torso. “Gosh I hope the others are okay.” Everything had seemed normal. Perfect even. Three SG-teams, determined to give the scientists all the room they needed to do their research. And then… then that ship had turned up. Before he could made out more than the eerie, rumbling sound of the engines, he’d blacked out.

“I don’t see why not… if whoever that was has kept us alive…” She swallowed hard and hissed at the same moment Caleb’s eyes seemed to go up in flames as the light was suddenly turned up.

“What the hell…” Grace put her hand on his shoulder and slowly came to her feet. He heard it. He felt her move beside him, but he didn’t dare blink yet. The searing pain in his head still hadn’t subsided. This was worse than the worst hangover he’d ever had. “I mean… Aren’t those… I mean, I only saw pictures.”

Tears shot into his eyes and he did his best to force them down. If he started that now, who could say when he’d ever manage to stop. He pushed down the fear for his friends along with the urge to cry, and the memory of Lucas, so close, so damn close to him, followed shortly after. He couldn’t focus on that now. He’d seen enough movies to know that the light going on like this could only mean a very bad thing.

Taking a deep breath, he looked up. The room they were in was indeed vast, four tables in the centre. Dark marble-like floor with gold highlights. The walls around the circular room were so high Caleb was sure the Academy’s church could fit in it easily. But that wasn’t what was disconcerting. There were no doors. None… just round crystal pillars, the sculptures of tall, slim people laid into them. “Ugh… sick art. I’m sure Dad’d be thrilled.” Their father… he’d die when he found out what had happened to them and that he’d ordered them out there.

“That’s not art, moron.” Grace approached one of the pillars, carefully, as though dreading them to, what? Move?

The grin died on Caleb’s lips. “You mean?”

“Stasis pods,” Grace whispered and Caleb forced himself to stand again and follow his sister. “They’re real.” She’d reached one of the pillars and reached up to touch the smooth surface behind which a tall body was hidden. Taller than the average human with strong-looking, muscly arms and a tall, almost pointed head.

Caleb swallowed hard. He’d seen pictures, of course, had seen photographs, but nothing compared to this. This strange beauty of the frozen creature with that characteristic ridge protruding from the forehead and going down to the back to join the spin. “That’s a Furling, right?”

An absentminded nod was all the answer Grace gave him. And then Caleb’s eyes wandered off to the right. To the figure right next to the alien and his heart stopped. Open-mouthed he stared at the familiar face surrounded by dark hair. “I know her,” he breathed at the same time as Grace said: “They’re all dead.”

And then a familiar sound rang in his ears and he whirled around, reaching instinctively for a gun that wasn’t there.

_Luckily enough she spotted Jonas and Daniel sitting at their usual table by the window. Nodding at one of the cadets acting as waiters today, she quickly made her way over to the others. “Anna really isn’t coming?”_

_“Lovely to see you too, Alexandra,” Jonas said pushing over the bread basket over to her. “And, no, she said she can’t make it, because she’s not feeling well.”_

_Alex’s stomach twisted into a tight little knot. She’d really hoped to see Anna again before their journey first to the Asgard galaxy and then back to Pegasus. They’d be gone an awfully long time… “Sorry,” she muttered, picking out a piece of bread and avoiding Daniel’s eye. He’d been determined to find out more about why she was going on that mission as well. So far, she hadn’t let on anything and if Carter hadn’t told him, why should she._

_“We have this covered,” Daniel said, waving the cadet closest to them over so they could order their food. When the young man was gone, he leaned back in his chair and scratched his silver beard. “You’re gonna be okay? Onboard a ship for weeks on end?” He said it like it didn’t really matter, when she knew it did._

_“Yeah, Fisherman’s kid is going as well, I hear?” Jonas raised his glass of water to his lips, hiding his grin even if the crinkles around his eyes betrayed him._

_“Yes, well, she’s part of Sam’s crew, isn’t she?”_

_“You know we know what’s going on, right? We talk to Jack on a regular basis.” Daniel leaned forward, his elbows on the table. “And we know you’re not just going as a consultant, or that Torren has been offered a job out of the blue. Who do you take us for?”_

_“Two of the most intelligent men on the planet,” Alex answered quickly, her heart starting to pound. She avoided looking over her shoulder and kept looking at the two men opposite her instead. They were her friends and had been for over thirty years. And they were bound to know that this was not a safe space. “As was Mitchell.”_

_Daniel’s face fell and he nodded gravely, a deep frown on his forehead. “Yes, I talked about him with Sam the other day.” So he understood. Good._

_“Just… be careful, okay?” Jonas added._

_“Jonas…” Alex sighed and watched as the waiter approached then with their food, “You know, we always are. Everything’s gonna be fine.”_

_Daniel shook his head, then he pulled up a file on his tablet as the plates were set in front of them and the delicious aroma of fresh tomato soup started creeping up into her nostrils. She really hoped the cadets below were getting the same stuff._

_“So, back to work?”_

_“I thought we talked about everything we needed to?” Jonas raised his eyebrow at Daniel as he picked up his fork to start attacking the fries on his plate. And they had. Everything was arranged. All Alex had to do was teach today’s class, then Jonas and Daniel would take over in turns to substitute for her. Since Anna had refused coming back, even for a few months, it had fallen to them. But after weeks of arranging and re-arranging schedules, things had worked out somehow._

_“Hang on.” Daniel narrowed his eyes as he scrolled through a file, then he nodded. “Just in case I forget. I have a list of the students you should be teaching right now.”_

_“What do you mean? I am teaching.” She picked up her own spoon and started stirring the whipped cream into the red liquid._

_“Yes, I know, but there’s a student on my list that’s not on the one you gave me. Looks like that particular student never showed up, or you missed taking down her name about twenty times.”_

_Frowning, a fry speared on his fork, Jonas leaned closer. “Sure, sounds like our Alex.” He flashed her a grin. “Everybody on these lists has been_ assigned _to these classes though, right? Security checks, has to work for the Program or there’d be no point teaching them about alien cultures, languages or our vast experience.”_

 _“Right,” Daniel nodded. “Here we are.” He held up the tablet and turned it around so Alex could read it. “Alex, do you know this Elinore Woodstock? Because if you don’t, I just printed, yes_ printed _about two hundred pages for a person who doesn’t even take your class.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger. Another one! So, what do you think? Please, tell me about your suspicions!


	46. Chapter 46

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning at the end of this chapter. I'm so excited!

** Chapter 46 **

_2034_

Evan was nervous. The teams had only left two days ago, and already he had dived into work, even though there was hardly any paperwork left for him to work _on_.

She was sitting on the bed, eying him as he was bent over the desk, his eyes trained on the projection of numbers and graphs. They were things she wasn’t really supposed to see, but these days it didn’t matter. They weren’t only married and both part of the Stargate Program. They were also, and that was probably the most important part, several million light years away from home. And Evan had stopped giving a damn about this sort of thing anyway. When you’d been through as much together as they had, secrets weren’t really an issue anymore. Not really.

He shifted in his chair, rubbing his temple as he kept staring at the hologram. A sigh followed shortly afterwards and that was enough to make her drop her book.

“I know.”

His eyes fluttered in her direction, then back to the screen. Tapping the table top he sat there for another few moments before he turned off the tablet attached to the projector and slid onto the bed, his head coming to rest in her lap. The dark shadows under his eyes would have told her all she needed to know, had she not felt his nervousness all this time anyway.

“We’re not supposed to hear from them,” Alex said, pushing her fingers through his grey hair. He could count himself lucky: to have a full head of hair at his age was no given. And yet, he was nowhere near as vain as some of his equals. He never had been, and it was one of the things that had drawn her in. He was never pompous. Never arrogant. He was one of the truest souls she’d ever met, and every day she was grateful that fate had brought them together. “They’ll be okay,” she added as he closed his eyes briefly. It wasn’t as though she wasn’t worried, far from it, but there wasn’t anything either of them could do about it.

“No.” His blue eyes met hers and her heart contracted painfully. “But Ronon’s growing anxious, too.”

“I think he’s always been anxious. What worries me is that he allows himself to show it.”

With a low grunt, he reached for her hand and placed it on his chest. Right over his heart. She could almost feel the soft drumming. “Alex?”

“Yes?”

“I wanna go outside for a bit. One way or the other we’ll be stuck on this beast for almost two weeks no matter what. Come with me?”

Alex nodded. _One way or the other._ She hated what these words implied. That there was something wrong. That they would have to go back home eventually, no matter how long it took for news about their children to reach them. If it came at all. Because Ronon’s unease made her feel about as safe sliding down a glacier would.

_For the first time in his life he didn’t feel self-conscious about this sort of thing. The door to Professor Brecht’s office remained shut, and Caleb could hear the murmuring behind it, could hear the friendly voice of his teacher as he talked to one of the other students about their paper. Caleb knew he’d done well. He just knew it. He’d done his research and he’d given it his all without asking his mother for help. Because then he’d be_ worried _about getting this right. She wasn’t judgemental, but he also didn’t want to give her a reason to be. Somehow the concern and the interest in her voice made his insides churn with shame. And how pathetic was that?_

_He was already close to feeling guilty for not having talked to her about it, because he knew she would want to know he’d been asked to write a paper on the depiction of deities in the kingdom of Judah. It was a topic Alex Lorne was an expert in. Her dissertation had been in the very same area and Caleb dreaded the sensation of shame he was bound to feel when he thought about his mother’s failed career. There was a reason he told nobody his mother had been an archaeologist before she married his father. That she’d given up a career in academia involving solid research for the sake of raising a family. He wasn’t entirely sure he resented her for it. What he resented her for, was that she’d been away so often for such a long time, without publishing a single scientific paper after the year 2002. What had those travels been good for, if she didn’t bother visiting family or doing research? She never told him, and he had a feeling he wouldn’t like the answer. It was a wonder her marriage had survived this. Although, truth be told, his father wasn’t too bad at keeping secrets either. And Grace was certainly starting to pick up on that gift for secrecy. And Lucas… gosh he didn’t even want to think about Lucas and Grace hitting it off at the Academy._

_Caleb looked up when the dark wooden door opened and the girl came out. She didn’t look too happy and avoided Caleb’s gaze before she hurried down the corridor and out of sight. Clearing his throat, Caleb closed his tablet case and stood up. If Professor Brecht was in a terrible mood, then he’d rather get this over with._

_“Professor?” he said quietly, knocking on the door frame. “May I come in?”_

_Brecht was sitting at his desk, his deep brown eyes trained on his computer, his index tracing the thin beard circling his mouth and not for the first time Caleb found himself staring at the casually handsome, dark-haired man. Somehow the frown only accentuated the image._

_Without looking up, Brecht waved him closer and clicked on something with the mouse. The soft noise rang in the silence. “Of course, come in, Mr Lorne.” The melodic, deep voice, which had so often enthralled him during lectures, made him grin and when Brecht looked up and waved him in, lazily asking him to sit down, he felt his insides churn in anticipation. Brecht tapped his lips, then he turned his chair to face him as he pushed his computer screen in Caleb’s direction. The paper was already on the screen._

_“Is this your first semester studying art history, Mr Lorne?”_

It took them less than ten minutes to reach the edge of the woods, both of them equipped with a P-90 and a side arm, even though both seemed feeble defences against what or who might lurk there. It almost felt like sneaking out after curfew without a set of guards. It felt risky and exhilarating at the same time even though they stayed in the immediate vicinity of the _Hammond._ Within sight and within earshot.

The sun was warm on her skin, the birds chirping happily away in the tall trees surrounding them and as she sat down on the fallen log next to Evan, for the first time in weeks, she felt completely alone with him. And wasn’t that just ridiculous?

He’d taken his sketchbook with him, the paper rustling softly as he opened it and his pencil starting to stroke over the high-quality paper in deliberate lines. “How do you think, Jonas is dealing with Winnie?”

Alex frowned at him, then her eyes fell on the small hill of acorn-like objects lying only a few feet away from them. Winnie would have jumped at them, wouldn’t he? Thrown them into the air, so he could chase them? The frown was replaced by a soft smile and she placed her hand on his knee. “Amanda is taking him for excessive walks every day, while Jonas feeds him all he can. That would be my guess.”

“So, he’ll be in more or less the same shape we left him?”

Despite everything, despite the constant worry, she laughed, feeling a tiny bit of the tension leaving her body.

“Just sayin’.”

“Well, you didn’t want Adam to come and watch him.”

Evan grinned down at the paper, his pencil still scratching away over the paper and capturing the little mount of acorns with ease. Even the shadowing looked perfect. She’d always admired him for that. “Well, your brother and I still have our differences, but we get along okay. He’s less of a jerk now than he was thirty years ago.”

“You should put that on his Christmas card.”

He nodded, brow furrowed slightly. “I will. And maybe we should think about going there for a while. Maybe even take Winnie along. You know, just long enough until the new commander has settled in.” He said it casually, but Alex knew this was something he was actually worried about. That he’d get sucked into that place again even though he’d said goodbye. And it would hurt so badly to give it all up, no matter how firm his conviction that leaving his job was the right thing to do. What would he do then? Make jam? Walk the dog all day? Be a full-time painter? She leaned closer to kiss his temple, relishing in the smell of him.

“We’ll be okay. We all will. This is just another mission. The kids have been on plenty.”

He didn’t answer. He didn’t need to. His leaning into her touch was all the response she needed. His hand dropped the pencil on the paper, leaving a thin streak of grey on the cream coloured surface as he entwined his fingers with hers. And for the moment it was enough. Because, for the hundredth time she reminded herself of this one certainty: there was nothing they could do about this. She watched as he closed his eyes, the long, still dark lashes shimmering slightly red in the bright sunlight.

“There you are!” The voice was like a knife as it cut through the silence and Alex felt rather than saw Evan sigh. So far, she’d been lucky enough to avoid Kavanagh, but coming outside had clearly made it too easy for him to find them. And Evan had had plenty of talks with him, apparently. Talks that were exhausting and pointless and only meant to stroke Kavanagh’s ego.

“Doctor Kavanagh,” Evan said, closing his sketchbook and patting Alex’s leg as a signal to withdraw. He got up before the steps had reached them. “Good afternoon.” The decisive politeness in his voice made Kavanagh stop short. Alex looked up at the man. He’d avoided social gatherings since their arrival here, but apparently her luck had run out. Not that Kavanagh had ever bothered her face-to-face, but he’d always made it painstakingly clear that he didn’t think her field of study had a place in Atlantis, or that her family should be on their expedition at all. He’d never said it to her face, but she’d heard McKay complain about him. _McKay_ , who wasn’t even above criticising medical Doctors for their claim to science, or who would never put Alex’s and Anna’s priorities first. But he had hated the man, and he hated how he treated them. Not that McKay had always been easy to work with, but it was saying something, if Rodney McKay and Radek Zelenka were caught bitching about the same person over dinner.

She stood up more slowly and looked at the man, clean shaven, his fly-away hair short, wearing glasses that had been repaired more than once.

“What can I do for you?”

“I thought we were leaving!” Kavanagh’s eyes were fixed on Evan, his teeth bared. “I have cleared out my house, I have settled into my room, as has everyone else, and now I hear that we’re still not leaving? That you sent three teams on some _mission_ instead of returning us home!”

Evan raised his eyebrows, folding his arms over his chest as he looked the other man up and down. Already Kavanagh had abandoned the clothes he had worn here and had switched to wearing the grey overalls provided by the crew of the _Hammond._ His weathered face was contorted in anger, and the arrogance in his eyes made her feel queasy.

“Go on,” Evan said with carefully measured contempt, though Alex could clearly see the tension in his shoulders.

“After decades – _decades -_ you finally decide to come back here, Lorne-“

“ _General_ Lorne, if you please.” His voice was still calm, but there was a low threat hidden beneath the words as he took a step toward Kavanagh. “I suggest you think very carefully about what you are going to say next, because you know full well why those teams set out. They set out to make sure that one way or the other, this settlement remains secure.”

Kavanagh took a deep breath, his eyes narrowed as he looked down on Evan. “Well, I don’t appreciate-“

“To be frank, _Doc_ , I don’t give a damn what it is you appreciate. But let me tell you something, if you can’t suck it up, I’m gonna leave you, or better: drop you off on an uninhabited world. Because I don’t think Colonel Carter _appreciates_ your constant nagging.”

Kavanagh’s eyes widened and for a second there it looked like he was about to protest, but Evan cut across him again, taking another step towards the taller man, sketchbook still in his trembling hands. It was strange seeing him like this. One outburst was enough to put Evan on edge. It was a testament to how much stress he was under.

“And don’t think I don’t know you were trying to make some _deals_ with the crew to get better accommodation.” Shaking his head, he looked Kavanagh up and down. “I don’t _appreciate_ your meddling, Kavanagh. And I can’t believe you’re wasting my time. Just be grateful you get to go home.”

Mouth wide open, Kavanagh stared at him, incredulous. Baffled. Like a dog that had been kicked by a stranger. And maybe he didn’t deserve Evan’s threats. Maybe. But he’d certainly picked a bad time for his little tantrum. Eyes narrowed into slits, Kavanagh turned on his heel and headed back towards the ship, his head held high as though he had just won this fight.

“I hate this man…” Evan mumbled. “Always have.”

“Yes,” Alex said, holding back an inappropriate chuckle. “It shows.”

The corners of his mouth were slowly moving up as he turned to look at her again. And then he stiffened, his eyes shifting out of focus for a moment as he placed his hand on the almost invisible radio inside his ear. He paused, stretching one arm out to Alex, his grip so tight she felt her own heart stop. “Coming, thank you,” he said before he looked up at Alex, his eyes wide with fear. “There’s a message from the Wraith about the expedition.”

_“Yes, Sir. First semester.” What an odd question, Caleb thought, as he watched Brecht lean back in his chair, hands folded over his flat stomach. Gosh, why was he even thinking that way? Why was he so impressed by the tailored suit and the way those hands were moving?_

_Brecht surveyed him for a full minute, before he stroked the thin beard and sat back up again. “This paper was exceptional, Mr Lorne,” he said, the melodious British accent almost ringing in Caleb’s ears. “And you showed a real knack for history. I have to say, I was really impressed with the detail you put into this. That is not usual.“_

_Caleb cleared his throat, his ears turning red. “Thanks.” He’d never been a bad student, but he couldn’t say he’d expected this sort of praise for his first paper. Not from this Professor, who was, by far, the strictest he’d met yet._

_“It is obvious that I gave you full marks for this and it falls in line with what I have witnessed from you up until now. You are doing a really good job here, but I can’t help but wonder… what made you want to pursue_ art _history.”_

_His eyebrows flew up of their own accord and he couldn’t help but stare back at Brecht. Was it normal for your professor to stare at you like this? With those dark eyes full of interest and concern and… what? And why was that stare making him feel warm and almost anticipatory? Biting his lips, Caleb dropped his gaze, looking down at the table for a moment to compose himself. “I like history… I like arts… it seemed the perfect choice.”_

_“Let me tell you something, Caleb.” The sudden use of his first name, made Caleb’s head jerk up again as his heart plummeted. “I suggest you think this over. You are clearly very talented. Old history suits you. Pursue it. Art history is good, but I suggest you follow the latter part in more detail. If this is your first work, then you show great promise.”_

_Caleb nodded, not entirely sure he liked this feeling of being put on the spot. But they were alone, weren’t they? So why should he be embarrassed? “Thanks?” Caleb said again, still a bit non-plussed by the praise and advice. “Uhm… if that’s all?”_

_“Yes, it is.” Brecht nodded appreciatively and he got up. Only now did Caleb realise that the man’s top button was open, revealing the muscled and toned neck._

_Caleb swallowed hard. “I’ll see you next semester then.”_

_“I’m afraid I won’t be teaching here anymore, then. I was offered a position at another university.”_

_“Oh.” For a moment Caleb was on the verge of asking him where he would be going and telling him that he’d be sorry to see him go. Because he would be. That voice was something he could have listened to for a week without getting bored. “Well then… good luck.”_

_“Thank you, Caleb.” There it was again. His first name. “Think about what I said, will you? And feel free to contact me anytime if you have… questions.” Brecht stretched out his hand as they were standing close to the door and Caleb only hesitated briefly before taking it. But the shake fell a little short. He met Brecht’s eyes, saw the crinkles around them and the crease between his eyebrows and his heart picked up speed when Brecht wouldn’t let go. Instead, he felt Brecht’s fingertips brush his wrist._

_Caleb didn’t pull away._

_His eyes flickered for the fraction of a second to Brecht’s lips, then up again. That brief movement of his eyes must have been enough of an invitation, because Brecht stepped closer. They were only inches apart and Caleb felt his insides squirm in anticipation._

_“I’m going to miss seeing you every week,” Brecht said, frowning slightly and laying a hand on Caleb’s cheek, the hand rough and soft at the same time. He gave Caleb time. Time to pull away. To say something. To push him away. “You’re very special.”_

_Instead, Caleb’s hand flew up to touch Brecht’s waist. This was nothing. Nothing at all, he told himself, as Brecht crowded in on him, pushing Caleb against the bookshelf next to the door, capturing his lips in an all consuming kiss._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: inappropriate behavior of a Professor towards a student in the last bit of the Flashback.
> 
> So... there we are. Kavanagh's being a bitch and we find out a bit more about Caleb's past. I was very, VERY excited to write and publish this bit. Who didn't have a sexy Professor? But seriously... bad Professor Brecht.... more about that relationship is soon to follow.


	47. Chapter 47

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, here’s the next chapter. If you really can’t stand what’s implied in this chapter (I don’t blame you) just skip the flashback and you should be fine. 😉

_2034_

A short, straight nose, full lips and long, sweeping dark hair. The image seemed to be branded into his retinas.

_Elinore._

It couldn’t be.

_That’s Elinore in there._

 _How_ could it be?

He hadn’t talked to her in a while, of course something could have happened to her, but she couldn’t be… she couldn’t be here. In this tank! Dead! With conserved Furlings on either side of her. The implications were starting to fall into place, as his brain wrecked reports and the SGC’s history

Never in his life had he wished for the cool metal of a gun in his hand as much as he did now. Never before had he been more grateful to have his sister by his side. His sister, who surely must know what she was doing here, even if she had no idea what was going on. He held his breath. The figure who had appeared in the centre of the room, right between the tables on which he and Grace had woken up, was that of a man and as he turned around, Caleb let out a gasp, the air streaming into his lungs abruptly and he felt his skin grow hot, as the man cocked his head, the elegant hands folded in front of him.

“It’s been too long, hasn’t it?”

“Who _the hell_ are you!?” Grace didn’t sound like she was asking and Caleb wasn’t looking at her. He didn’t need to. He knew she had come to a similar conclusion as he. But that was just as impossible!

“That’s …” Caleb breathed, unable to finish the sentence, because the words: _That’s Albert Brecht. You know, the first guy I ever kissed_ sounded so damn wrong.

“Yes, we know each other, don’t we.” Brecht still looked exactly the same. Still that beard, still that unbelievable handsome face. Still those dark, well-fitting clothes. No suit this time, but still elegant. Revealing.

Caleb let out a sound that wasn’t an answer, but a complete summary of his thoughts: Nothing.

Nothing that would have made any sense came to mind, nothing but that one, inarticulate sound, that made Brecht grin even wider and his insides turn to ice. Because he remembered all to well the other sounds he had made back then. He also remembered how those hands had felt on his body. What they had done to him. And what that voice, that terribly gorgeous voice had whispered into his ear. Words, which he had later filed away, never to be taken out again. He’d never regretted those hours. Never. They had been short-lived, but they had been his first and up until now, he had never done those things again.

“You haven’t changed much, have you?” Brecht was saying, taking another step towards them and that was when Grace stepped up between them.

“You’re Ba’al,” she said coolly and though Caleb couldn’t see her face, he knew her eyes were narrowed, a deep frown on her face.

“How very perceptive, Miss Lorne,” he sneered.

“It’s Lieutenant, actually.”

Brecht’s eyes narrowed ever so slightly as he approached even more, his left hand flexing. Only now that he was so close, did Caleb see the thin threads of gold wrapped around them. “You Earth women keep trying to make an impression by flaunting ranks and titles, why is that?”

“Didn’t you use to try make an impression by flaunting your fake godship at people?”

The smile on Brecht’s face was far from the charming smile, Caleb had admired back then. It showed too much teeth. But then again, this wasn’t Brecht, was it? Or rather, it had never been Brecht. Caleb swallowed hard, putting a shaky hand on Grace’s shoulder.

“You’re witty, I like that. You get that from your mother.” Brecht raised a hand, about to touch Grace’s chin, but she drew back and next second she was thrown against Caleb’s chest. The red crystal in the centre of Brecht’s hand was glowing, the light almost blinding Caleb as he pulled Grace closer. “I am not used to people defying me anymore.” Brecht said, flexing his fingers, but at least he remained where he was. “What do you think of my little exhibit here?”

“Fun stuff,” Grace spat at him. “Where are the others?” She didn’t ask why he had taken them. Given the reports Caleb had read, he wasn’t surprised. If this was Ba’al, and Caleb still couldn’t quite wrap his head around it, then Ba’al wanted him and Grace as much as he’d wanted their dead sister… or their parents.

Brecht licked his lips, then he looked at Caleb, those dark eyes capturing his. Caleb froze, his entire being longing to turn away. To avert his gaze, before Grace started reading between the lines or, worse even, Brecht started talking openly about their short affair. That one night which Caleb hadn’t voluntarily thought about in years. The one he’d never talked to anyone about. Not even Adam. But those eyes, the colour of them, brought it all back, especially with the fine crinkles in that soft skin. “I wanted you to see,” Brecht said softly, “what I made here.”

“What you made here?” Caleb turned his head. At the twenty or so aliens, perfectly preserved and irrevocably dead. At Elinore. He fixed his stare on her, fighting the prickling in his nose. This was her. Vulnerable. Perfect. Unreachable. Dead.

“Yes, my creations.” His head whipped around and he felt Grace stiffen. “It doesn’t take a lot of effort, to be honest. One genetic sample is enough to make a perfect copy, didn’t you know?”

“I bet the Asgard would disagree.” Grace still didn’t sound too impressed. And it wasn’t just her military training. She’d always been braver than him.

At this, Brecht gave a soft chuckle and the sound made goosebumps erupt on Caleb’s forearms. “Well, the Asgard disposed of their early works. I wasn’t as foolish.” He waved his hand around. “I found around fifty such samples of Furlings and they were exactly what I needed. I added some variation and within a few months I had an army. Quite artistic, wouldn’t you agree, Caleb?”

“Why do you even care showing us?” He spat, his insides churning as his fingers dug into Grace’s shoulder.

“Why?” Ba’al sounded surprised, though the soft glinting in his eyes, the very same emotion that had made his knees grow weak once, made him want to run away. This was too big. Too much for him to stomach. “I thought we were friends, dear Caleb.”

With a jolt, Grace ripped herself free and she turned around to look at Caleb, her face ashen. “What’s that supposed to mean?” He could sense it. The moment when she’d step away from him and look at him like she’d never known him.

“Well, she can’t have known, can she? That I was the one to suggest you follow another field of studies?” For the first time ever, a sardonic smile started spreading over Brecht’s face. Caleb saw the evolution from a soft frown to a grin that made his blood run like ice and he saw the other man. Not Brecht, but Ba’al. The murderer of his sister. The parasite who had tortured his parents and would love to have used him and Grace the very same way.

With a shrug, and acting as though none of it mattered, Brecht waved his hand over Grace, his hand hovering over her face as the crystal began to glow once more. With a mute cry she started to reach up, to clasp at the hand, but she just let out a breathless scream and collapsed into Caleb’s arms. “Grace!” His voice was raw, panicked, as he lowered her onto the dark floor, reached for her pulse and found it steady. But that sensation did nothing to lessen the pounding of his heart as Brecht knelt next to him, his hand outstretched. Caleb turned his head, unable to look at the man who had so long ago been a role model and more.

Brecht hesitated, his hand hovering over Caleb’s head like it had over Grace’s. Then the hand moved to his cheek, touching it gently and turning Caleb’s face to his. There was something else in that gaze. Something that reminded Caleb of that night so long ago and his throat tightened at the memory. Clutching Grace tightly to his chest, cradling her head against the crook of his neck, he returned the gaze.

Letting out a long breath, Brecht’s fingers grazed his cheek, his chin, and Caleb couldn’t find it in himself to pull away. “Why?” he breathed, tears beginning to sting in his eyes and once again Brecht cocked his head, the eyes so soft and warm it was almost painful to watch.

“Caleb,” he said, hesitating and it looked as though he was about to say something else, but then he closed his mouth again.

“Why did you do this? Why me?”

Brecht swallowed visibly. “I was interested in you.” The fingers were still on his skin, burning and tantalizing at the same time.

“Interested…” What did that even mean? That sentence, that sentiment didn’t answer the question. And Caleb was only waiting for something else to set in. Digust. Queasiness in the pit of his stomach. But all he felt was fear. His muscles paralyzed by the man’s touch while Grace lay heavily in his arms.

“I was on Earth every once in a while, checking up on your sister… and you. I had special interest in you of course. My Empire runs smoothly enough. And I have to admit, I was curious. Who you’d become… and I was... fascinated.” And Caleb was almost relieved that Grace wasn’t hearing this. That she didn’t see the flush in his cheeks or hear the hammering in chest. “I never wanted to hurt you, but you are … special.” At this the thumb started moving. Along his nose, down to his lips. The slightest of touches that made Caleb shiver, his burning eyes still locked onto the dark ones.

He quickly turned his head away and the sigh from Brecht was like a dagger to his chest.

“I wish to keep you with me, Caleb. Not like this.” Caleb caught a movement from the corner of his eye, saw Brecht move his hand and he followed the finger. Followed where it pointed. Elinore. “I don’t want you dead. She failed to be useful. I have a feeling that won’t happen with you, will it?”

_The door flew open, slamming into the wall as Brecht pushed him into the apartment, lips locked on Caleb’s, barely giving him time to breathe. Brecht’s hands were still on him, hadn’t left him for even a second. The ride in the cab to Brecht’s place must have been the longest one of his life, as he tried to focus on anything but the warm, big hand on his thigh. The thumb wasn’t moving, but the steady pressure of it was enough to keep him from getting too distracted by his surroundings or by the very concept of what he was doing here. Of what he’d agreed to._

Come home with me.

_The echo of these words had left an imprint on his lips and Caleb hadn’t hesitated. Not for a second. Not even when this was the first time he’d ever kissed another man, let alone allowed anything else to happen. He’d been with his prom date, had kissed her, had slept with her, but this was different. And it felt significant. More than these couple of nights with Elena Harriman had. But this voice was so inviting, the look in those warm, brown eyes so comforting that Caleb couldn’t resist._

_And really… what could go wrong? Well, he could embarrass himself, but by the looks of it, he’d never see Brecht again. Not if he didn’t want to._

_Still, his heart was thumping in his chest, aching for more as his hands dug into Brecht’s shirt and Brecht kept pushing him further into the apartment. Caleb didn’t get a good look around, and he wasn’t sure he cared. He got a peek at a couple of empty metal bookshelves, an abandoned kitchenette with food containers on the work surface. A black leather couch. Another door that stood invitingly ajar._

_And then Brecht stopped, halting in his tracks, hands still on Caleb’s cheeks. “You’re sure?”_

_Caleb nodded, breathless, denying himself the impulse to wrap his head around what was happening here. That this was his teacher. That, in reaity, he was pining for someone else. Someone he couldn’t have. Not this way._

_The reply was another nod and Brecht let go of him, walking backwards towards the door, which he closed with his heel. “You’re magnificent.”_

_If anything, the heat in his face grew even more intense, but he quickly pushed the embarrassment away as Brecht crowded in on him again, the nimble fingers rummaging over Caleb’s chest and sneaking hot and demanding under his shirt._

_With a gasp, Caleb pulled away to look at the other man. At the sincere look in his eyes, the lips, so warm and kissable. They lifted into a smile and Brecht’s fingers pushed through his hair and a shiver ran down his spine. “Caleb?”_

_“Yes?” Caleb had no idea where his voice had been, but evidently, it’d been hiding somewhere where it had acquired a new tone. It was deep. Throaty. And Brecht’s smile turned into a grin._

_“I’m going to take you to my bedroom.” He interlaced his fingers with Caleb’s. How did he do that? How were his hands everywhere at once? The hands were lifted until they were right between their chests. Could Brecht feel the reverberating beating of his heart? “And do whatever you want me to do.” Something flickered in these eyes. Something which Caleb couldn’t place. Greed? Sadness? What was it?_

_He stared at Brecht, forcing his tongue to wrap itself around a word he didn’t think he could say out loud. “Albert…” Every little sound of the word was strained and Brecht’s eyes grew wide. For a second there he almost thought he saw them glow in the semi darkness. “I- I haven’t done this before.”_

_Brecht paused, considering him for almost a minute, then the hand holding his gave his fingers a light squeeze. Then he licked his lips and closed the space between them. “No shame in that.”_

_The following hours were more than he’d ever expected, his heart racing, his body on fire, he couldn’t help but let himself fall as strong arms wrapped themselves around him and he felt his doubts vanish with every kiss and every touch as he allowed himself to touch. To feel. To stroke. To kiss. And when they were done, and they lay still in Brecht’s bed, the blanket covering their entwined bodies, Brecht raised his hand, stroking Caleb’s face. And his words were like soft touches on his lips: “Don’t go just yet, Caleb.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right… here it is. I took a risk. Do you hate me now? If you do, I’m very, very VERY sorry!! But I’m still looking forward to your comments and reviews.


	48. Chapter 48

_2034_

“It was the same ship.”

Evan stared at the familiar unaltered face of the Wraith as he talked. The star-shaped tattoo around his right eye and the sharp, pointed teeth made Evan ball his hands into tight fists and it took all he had not to punch the console he was standing behind. Three teams gone missing while on a mission with the Wraith. And why the hell hadn’t he listened to his gut?! He knew they weren’t trustworthy! And even if they hadn’t been directly betrayed by them, he had always known Guide would put his own well-being before that of humans.

He felt Ronon tense up beside him as he himself did all he could not to lash out, to let Carter handle this, because he sure as hell was in no state to speak.

“The same ship that attacked this settlement and your hive, you mean?” Carter was leaning against her command chair, frowning at the hologram floating in front of the shielded window, her voice so calm Evan felt like screaming out loud.

Guide nodded. “Indeed I do. I was by the ruins of what must have been the outer walls of the building when it appeared.”

“And they left you behind.” Evan breathed, despite himself. “Convenient.”

Carter threw him a glance, an eyebrow raised. One single look was enough to remind him that they had agreed she’d do the talking. Alex shifted behind him and, despite the fact that the whole damn crew was here, he reached behind him to take her hand and pull her forward. Her fingers were icy and stiff in his.

“Guide,” Carter said, ignoring the Wraith’s low grunt and Evan’s comment altogether, “What exactly happened?”

Baring his teeth was Guide’s first response. “I got a warning from the Hive, but then I lost the signal. The others vanished before my eyes, very much like they would have done, had you beamed them into your ships.”

Evan swallowed hard, his throat clicking drily as he squeezed Alex’s fingers. How likely was it that whoever had attacked them was using Asgard beaming technology? The Furlings had certainly used a similar technology, but that was out of the question, wasn’t it? Hadn’t they been told this over and over again?

“There was no way for us to trace them. We are heading back to your location as we speak.”

His mouth was parched as he listened to Carter taking the lead again. “We’ll be awaiting you within the next two days, Guide.”

Guide nodded again, his nostrils flaring as he looked at each of them in turn, then the transmission was cut off and all that remained was the silence filling the bridge. Everybody here knew that all three SG -Teams they had brought on this trip had vanished. That among them were friends and the children of their commanding officers.

Without another word, Carter turned around to look at them. First at Ronon, then at Alex and Evan, her mouth a thin line, her eyes filled with determination he couldn’t understand. She walked past them, towards the back of the bridge and her little office. The crew members made room for her, dropping their gazes as Evan followed her, Alex by his side, Ronon taking up the rear.

The urging need to slam the door was the least of his worries, as he watched Alex hide her face behind her face as soon as it hissed shut behind them. Feeling her hand slip from his was almost as devastating as the message that something had gone wrong.

Something.

No, not just something. This whole damn thing had gone south, and he’d known something was off. From the very start, from the very first day they had set foot here, things had gone wrong. His throat was raw, as he stared at Alex, unsure whether he should reach out to her, no matter how desperately he needed to touch her. He remembered those days after Nora had died. Those days were long gone, the wounds mostly healed, but the way she’d looked at him then… the way she’d swallowed the pain… it was still there and in this moment he wasn’t entirely sure she wanted him. And he hated this galaxy for bringing them back to this point. This point, where everything was supposed to be okay, and then this happened.

“We will find them again,” Carter said, her voice firm as she stood by her desk, arms folded over her chest.

“Fine.” Ronon grunted, taking a step toward her and brushing his hand over Alex’s back as he went. She stiffened, took a deep breath and looked up at the dark grey ceiling, her eyes swimming with tears. “How?”

Carter shook her head, rubbing her forehead and Evan caught Ronon’s gaze. They had no leads. Nothing had come from the analysis of the ground where Torren and Grace had been ambushed. Nothing could be made of the data they had collected during the short battle. Nothing at all. All they had were mere traces of evidence.

Carter let out a long breath and leaned on her chair. “I have a gut feeling and I hate it.”

His insides churned. “Yeah, me too.” But there was no r _eal_ evidence. No way to be sure that this could really be happening. And then he watched as Carter’s frown turned into a pained grin. “You first?” She was thinking it too. She must be. And how could she not? The holograms, the design of the ship that had attacked them. The interest in people from the Milky Way and the attack now that they had started out on a sight which had once been a stronghold of ancient knowledge. The copies and illusions they had encountered. And now beaming technology. 

Evan scoffed. “Ronon, when the Furlings …disappeared, did you have any contact to any of the worlds they occupied? At all?”

“No, like I said, they were disconnected from the Gate Network. Kavanagh tried for months to re-connect with them.”

Letting out a long breath, Alex sat on the edge of the table, her head buried in her hand as suspicion became more and more tangible. He could feel the fear emanating from her, which was only increased by the sudden realization that they still hadn’t managed to rid themselves of this monster. “He did this before,” she said quietly, but when she looked up again there was a fire in his eyes he had seen there several times before. A fire that still terrified him and left a deep impression on him. It was the fire that had saved his life several times. A fire that had made her kill.

“I don’t think we’re dealing with the exact same copy as before,” Carter said. “You got rid of _him_ , Alexandra.”

“Who are we talking about?” Ronon was still scowling, but a trace of realization was starting to appear on his face. “One of your Milky Way nutters?”

Evan couldn’t manage a smile. His stomach was still in a tight knot and the dawning knowledge of what was about to happen wasn’t making this any easier. He approached Alex, knowing full well she wouldn’t appreciate him taking her hand there and then. Instead, he leaned against the table next to Alex, arms still folded, his elbow touching hers. It wasn’t much, but it would do. He needed her. Needed her touch and the knowledge that she was there. It made standing up straight a bit easier. “You could say that,” he said, locking eyes with Ronon. “Remember Ba’al?”

Warm skin on her forehead. A familiar scent.

Grace leaned into the touch, revelling in the voice that reached her ears, telling her that she was alright.

Alright.

No.

No, she wasn’t. What the hell was Torren thinking? Her eyes flew open and the first thing she saw was the familiar brown flecked with touches of green. Torren. She groaned, felt the nausea hitting her out of nowhere along with the searing pain that seemed to emanate from the centre of her brain.

“Grace?”

“Where’s Caleb?” She held her hands over her eyes, shielding them from the reddish glow coming from above. They weren’t in that strange circular room anymore. What had happened there?

“They didn’t bring him in here with you.”

Groaning again, she leaned back against the shoulder she knew so well, hoping the pounding in her head would subside soon.

“Lieutenant?”

“Major.” Grace nodded, suppressing a hiccup and trying to ignore the panic that was driving her heartbeat. Caleb wasn’t here. “How did I get here?”

She heard a sigh and blinked, forcing her eyes to open again and revelling in the touch of Caleb’s lips against her temple. “Some guards brought you in.”

“Guards,” she croaked, looking around. Dark, metal walls, a single door. Miller was kneeling just a few feet away from her with Josh sitting cross-legged beside her. And then there was Caleb’s team, Hernandez and George leaning against the wall, their eyes fixed intently on Grace. Mortimer was pacing, gnawing on his fingernails. Eva shot him a look as he passed her, glaring at him while leaning against the wall. But she was paying close attention. Her body was tense, her eyes darting towards Grace every once in a while.

She hadn’t been on a mission with Josh’s team yet, but she remembered Major Jebson, his blond curls that made him look ten years younger than he was as he leaned closer, his foot touching her leg. “They brought you in here about half an hour ago,” he said in his deep voice that defied his looks and she was grateful for his businesslike tone as he exchanged a look with Durham and Finnemore standing behind him. “We thought-“ he broke off, paused, licked his lips and added: “But you’re okay.”

“Grace, what happened?” Josh stretched out a hand to touch her knee and immediately Torren’s grip on her arm tightened. He threw a look over his shoulder. At Lucas who was standing in front of the door, his shoulders tense as he stared at the unyielding metal, his face turned away from everybody else.

She shook her head and wiped her burning eyes. The cold sweat sticking to them made it even worse and she blinked at the tears. “It’s Ba’al,” she said, her eyes trained on Josh. Because he was Caleb’s best friend. Because she couldn’t bare looking at Torren, who would want to hold her even tighter, or at Lucas, because she had failed in protecting her brother.

“Lieutenant.”

Grace was almost relieved to escape Josh’s piercing stare. It was easier looking at Miller. Easier, because it felt less urgent. This was her job. This was part of it. She sat up again, shaking off Torren’s hand in the process and ignoring the pain pumping through her head. “Major, it _is_ him.”

The words rang through the sudden silence and she focused on Miller. At the stern face of her commanding officer. She needed to tell them. Needed to let them know, even if there was nothing any one of them could do to get them out of here, to warn the others, or to help Caleb. One step at a time.

And then it was easy. She didn’t hesitate. That was it. This was just a report. “Caleb and I-“ she sensed a movement by the door, knew that Lucas had turned around to look at her, but she couldn’t return the gaze. Not right now. Not with everyone there. She bit her lip and continued: “We woke up at the same time.” And then she explained. About the chamber. About the Furlings. About the woman Caleb had recognized. About Ba’al showing up. What he’d said. Her mouth was dry, her lips chapped, but before she’d even started speaking she’d known there was no water in here. There was nothing here apart from these walls.

When she was done, Miller nodded at her. “Rest, Lieutenant. We’ll figure something out.”

It was nothing but a routine reply, and judging by the way Miller lowered her gaze after a moment, Grace felt that Miller was very much aware of this. They were helpless in every way.

“Where’s Ferretti?” Grace asked, still ignoring Lucas. She was such a coward.

“Grace,” Torren said and he was looking at Miller as he said it. That word was enough. Her own name and it felt like a deathblow. Josh sat back, his knee pulled close to his chest as something that looked very much like guilt flickered over his face.

Ferretti was dead.

“It wasn’t your fault, Murdoch.” Jebson’s deep voice stung like nothing else could have. Because these words were empty too. Because, no matter what Jebson said, no matter what had happened, they implied that Josh felt guilty. And that would remain the case for the rest of his life.

“What about Caleb?” Lucas’ voice sounded hoarse. Like he hadn’t spoken in hours. How long had it been, since they had stranded here? How many hours had passed since their capture?

“I don’t know,” Grace said and finally she had no excuse to keep avoiding his stare. And the blue of his eyes cut through her like a hot knife. The whites around the irises were dark red, his lips pressed into a thin line. They had lost Ferretti. They couldn’t lose anybody else. “Ba’al seemed particularly interested in him.”

It was anything but a reassurance. Anything but words of comfort. And she hated how they tasted on her tongue.

Without another word, Lucas sank to the floor and buried his face in his knees, his shoulders starting to tremble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I meant to post this sooner, but I was in hospital this week for surgery. I have endometrioses and had to have that checked out and removed in some places. I’m back home now, though and I can write again, so that’s something. But I also started NaNoWriMo, which means that’ll consume a lot of time as well. I’m posting the story “Mirror, Mirror” (Star Wars, Gingerpilot) on AO3. Check it out if you’re interested 😉 Take care everyone and let me know what you think!!


	49. Chapter 49

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short content warning: if you don’t want to read the steamy part, just skip the flashback.

_2034_

For several minutes they had stared at each other, Caleb trying desperately to calm himself and failing miserably. Then Ba’al had grabbed his shoulder and next second they had emerged here. On a gravel path lined by high, yellow-leaved trees under a deep blue sky. He almost felt dizzy by the sudden rush of oxygen mixed with pollen and real smells.

“Where’s my sister?” he growled, for the first time ready to strike.

Brecht merely shrugged and stayed put, apparently unimpressed by Caleb’s stare as he folded his hands in front of him, his broad shoulders relaxed. “She is being taken to your friends as we speak.”

Friends. Lucas. Josh.

Cold sweat ran down his spine. He hadn’t thought of them. Not really. This had all been too much. He started to speak, but Brecht held up his hand, shutting him up with a single gesture. He had a talent for that. “Your sister is not half as interesting as you are.”

Caleb took a step back at the same time as Brecht advanced, the red crystal in the palm of his hand reflecting the sunlight perfectly. “What do you even want with us?”

“With the others? They are of no concern at the moment. I want to talk with _you.”_

“Why?”

The smile became more apparent now. “You have a doctorate by now, don’t you? You should know.”

“Oh, cut the crap.” Caleb brought some more distance between himself and Brecht and started walking. Clearly, Brecht didn’t want to kill him, at least not right now, and he was slowly but surely getting over the fact that his former professor was actually here. What he couldn’t wrap his head around was that Brecht was someone else entirely. The feeling of utter betrayal was worse than even the fear of the monster that Ba’al must be. He’d accepted that the night had happened. Had stowed the memories deep within, knowing full well that they would impact whichever relationship he had next. That he would think about it if ever he had the nerve to make things right with Lucas. And that made things just more complicated now. He remembered those lips. Remembered how Brecht’s skin had felt on his and how the soft sounds had made him shiver so very close to his ear as Brecht brought him closer and closer to the edge with a few touches. How could you forget something like that?

Swallowing hard, he turned away and instead focused his eyes on the gravel walk and the sounds of Brecht’s steps behind him. He’d imagined it. Imagined that there had been s _omething_ there. Not love, definitely not that, but something. Because if Brecht was Ba’al, then Caleb had been used for a twisted joke.

“Caleb!”

He froze in his tracks, staring up into the trees and focusing his eyes on the small black bird fluttering from branch to branch.

“I have an offer to make you.”

_Was this really happening? Could it be that, until a few hours ago, he’d expected nothing more of this evening than sitting on his bed, watching some old period drama on his laptop and pretend it was merely for educational purposes?_

_Albert’s hands raked through his hair, pulling him closer once more, so their noses were almost touching. Those brown eyes which had always roamed over the people in the seminar and only a couple of times had lingered on him were so near that Caleb could make out the structure of the irises. Brown with specks of grey. Caleb couldn’t make out too much in the dim light of the bedroom, but it was definitely there. And there were those crinkles again. Crinkles which had made him smile whenever he’d seen them. They had the same effect on him now, only strengthened by the sudden proximity of the man on the other side of the pillow. He laughed into the kiss, unable to hold it back. It was nothing short of a miracle the way he could just melt into this man._

_A man… he’d never expected this. Suspicion and expectation were two completely separate things, weren’t they?_

_“Anything funny?” The crisp accent made Caleb grin even more. And he’d said something else a few minutes ago. Words which were still ringing in his ears._ Don’t go just yet, Caleb.

_What time was it anyway?_

_“No.” Caleb shook his head and opened his eyes again as his hands trailed up Brecht’s torso. No. Not Brecht. Albert. He’d called him that. More than just once. “Just… I was just thinking that I really hadn’t expected things to go like this.”_

_“You never thought I might be interested in you?” Brecht slid even closer, his knee moving up and parting Caleb’s legs as he slowly turned him on his back. “You’re far from forgettable.”_

_The laugh died half-way to his lips. It was a nervous laugh. Had he really just done this? Had this really just happened to him? “Difficult to say anything to that,” he muttered, holding back a gasp as Brecht’s cock slid past his thigh._

_“Make all the noises you want.” Brecht grinned, bending low over him and capturing his lips once again. “Thank you for staying,” he muttered as their chests touched and Caleb tentatively reached up to close his right hand around Brecht. His breath was hot against his ear and the lips were tracing his jaw in torturous slowness. “It means a lot.”_

“Shove that offer where the sun don’t shine, will you?”

“You’ve become a real poet, haven’t you?”

Caleb whirled around, hot anger pulsing through his veins at the smug smile and the cold glint in Brecht’s eyes.

“You are aware, I hope, that you’re not holding a lot of cards.”

Swallowing hard, he watched Brecht draw loser until they were almost nose to nose. He hadn’t changed. Not one bit in nine years. And it wasn’t helping. “Fine,” he said quietly, trying to put as much contempt in his voice as he could. For his sake. For Lucas’ sake. Because he hadn’t forgotten that brief moment aboard that Hive. About how the air between them had been filled with tension and about how desperately he’d wanted to kiss him then. And he needed to keep calm, if he wanted to keep that window open, or at least wanted Lucas alive. “You said the others are of no concern to you. Well they’re of the utmost concern to me. I want to know they’ll be okay.”

Brecht raised his hand and patted his chest. The memory of the weight of that other man on top of him came rushing back at the merest touch. He only wished he felt sickened by it. And then Brecht’s hand lingered on his chest. “Let us walk. I find it makes things easier sometimes.”

Caleb almost choked on his own scoff, but he followed Brecht’s lead, folding his arms protectively over his chest. They walked in silence for several minutes, the gravel crunching beneath their feet and Caleb had to force himself to look at their surroundings, instead of staring at Brecht in his long, dark robes. Had someone described it to him, he would have said those clothes must look ridiculous on anyone, but on Brecht they looked regal. The long coat reaching to his calves with the high collar and the dark, perfectly tailored shirt and vest with silver embroidery only accentuated how handsome he was, and Caleb cursed himself for falling for this again.

“I can imagine this is quite confusing for you.” Brecht was walking close beside him, their arms almost touching and Caleb couldn’t find it in him to recoil. Confusing didn’t even begin to describe what he was feeling.

“I’ll say.”

At this, Brecht laughed. And it wasn’t fake. It was the same laugh Caleb had heard before. During that seminar. “You did switch to archaeology then. I followed your work for a while.”

“You knew,” Caleb said, eyes trained on the small reddish stones on the path. What was this place? Some sort of park reserved for would-be-gods? He shuddered at the very idea. “You knew about my parents.”

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Brecht nodding. “Yes, of course.”

Three words which made hate and anger well up inside of him again and he steered to the left, away from Brecht.

“I’ve always been interested in your parents.”

“As I recall, you were mostly interested in the genetic makeup of their offspring,” he said testily, the words burning like acid on his own tongue. Offspring… his sister had been more than that. To his parents in any case. To him and Grace Nora had never been anything but a ghost. Well… and then there’d been Elinore, who was… what exactly?

“I was,” Brecht conceded, “at least for a while.”

“It nearly killed them,” Caleb said, when the truth was: _You nearly killed them._

“Are you expecting me to show regret at this? They, after all, tried to kill me too.”

“And why was that again?” Caleb looked at him outright then and the self-satisfied smile made him want to throw up. He remembered that hut they had lived in. Recalled all too well what he’d felt looking at the narrow bed, the abandoned cow pen and the small table where is parents had lived and feared for their lives. Where his father had, according to his mother, developed exceptional skills at whittling, something he’d taught Caleb. A place of fear and joy and torture. And all of it because of Ba’al. This man right in front of him. A former System Lord. A clone and a parasite, claiming to be a god. This was sick.

“It was war.”

“You used them,” Caleb hissed. “You cut my mother open and-“

“Well, I healed her, didn’t I? Your little sister lived. For a while anyway. And then your parents took her from me again. One of the copies anyway. And she could still have you. Don’t forget that.”

“Are you seriously expecting me to be grateful to you? For copying my sister and letting my mother live only so you could try to do it all over again with me? I read the report. There were a lot of things I didn’t understand before I joined the Stargate Program, but I do now and-“ he broke off, biting his own tongue to stop himself from talking even more about this. About how lonely he had felt before. Lonely and misunderstood and childish. Not because he hadn’t been sure about Lucas or Brecht, or Elinore, but because there had been so many things in his life he had never understood about his parents. And here was the key. Right in front of him. The reason why, in many ways, his parents were the way they were. Why they had kept the truth from him for so long. Why there had always been secrets in their house. Things about ghosts that were never fully explained.

Brecht considered him for a moment, the smile wiped from his face and his eyes focused entirely on him. Like he was the only thing in the universe that concerned him. “Do not expect me to apologize.”

The thing was, Caleb wasn’t expecting an apology. Just like he’d never expected Brecht to call him again, or a repetition of that one night. “You said you followed my work?”

“I kept up with all your life. And your sister’s life, Grace’s that is, though I have to admit, yours was far more interesting. And you, yourself-“ he licked his lips, which turned again into a smile, but one so soft Caleb felt the need to sit down. “I spent a lot of time on Earth. A lovely planet. Flawed, but ultimately more comfortable than many other places. I brought Elinore along and it was fine. The so-called Furling war played itself out, the deal was struck, I got half the galaxy. It was enough. Well, and then you started university. I couldn’t just pass that by.”

“Who was she then? Elinore?” Elinore was dead. Used and disposed of like Nora.

“In a sense? My daughter. Your mother once met and killed a version of her in Germany. A real tragedy.” It didn’t sound like a tragedy. Just like the death of a daughter was no tragedy, because, when you were Ba’al, you just pulled another one out of the freezer.

A cloud shifted overhead, giving Caleb the perfect excuse to look up again. He wanted to be anywhere but here and screw the possible answers. He wanted Lucas and Grace and Josh. His team. Brecht said they’d be alright… but under which conditions he hadn’t said. Not yet. “So you just took a holiday and pretended to be a professor?”

Brecht laughed. “Do you really think I left it all behind? I said I was interested. Not stupid.” Shaking his head, he pointed towards a narrow path leading off to a thicket of bushes. “Let’s go through there.”

“What is this place?” Caleb found himself asking, taking the lead and telling himself for the thousandth time to be careful. He might not be as stupid as he had been then, but he had eyes and Brecht hadn’t exactly become less attractive. And that was dangerous. Those dark eyes were still captivating, the voice even more so, no matter how often Caleb told himself what he had done.

He kept walking, past bushes dotted with bright white flowers until, after about twenty paces or so, they reached a small pond lined by several large rocks. The water shimmered softly in the bright sunlight. A truly beautiful place if it weren’t for the situation he found himself in.

“A remote part of my palace. I come here not nearly often enough.”

_And how many slaves did you use to build it?_ Caleb flashed Brecht a look, but he didn’t seem to notice. Instead, the big, firm hand fell onto his back, guiding him towards one of the rocks. Caleb suppressed a shudder, but sat down without complaint. This wasn’t going well. Not at all.

He took a deep breath, ignoring the warmth on his shoulders as Brecht’s thumbs grazed his skin. “Do you honestly think telling me about how you manipulated me back then is gonna make me do something for you? You sent people after me, and now you expect me to – what? Fall for you?” It sounded ridiculous. He’d never used these words before. Not once in his life. But there he was. He kept his eyes on the turqoiuse water. On the soft ripples of water on its surface. Anything to distract him from this.

Brecht’s fingers stopped almost abruptly. “Not your sister, no. Not exactly. That would make those wondrous things that happened between us weird, wouldn’t you agree?”

“Doesn’t change anything.”

The chuckle behind him made his skin crawl, and he was more than grateful his body had decided to align with his brain. “And, no, I don’t expect you to _fall for me._ I have no need for your cooperation. I do not need you as I have needed your parents. I can control Ancient technology, and with the help of your friend, I can now also control Wraith technology, should I feel that I need to.”

_Torren._ “You attacked us from the moment we set foot in this galaxy.”

“My ships scout the systems that are not part of my territory regularly. I happened to be on the one that discovered your sister and her friend. Grace, is her name, correct? Almost poetic.” The voice turned even softer now. Brecht’s hands slid down his shoulders, came to rest on his arms and Caleb felt him move closer. His proximity buzzing like electricity. “I have accessed the terminal your people thought they had destroyed. It didn’t take much more than a few experiments with genetic samples of a Furling and a Satedan refugee. The Satedans are among the oldest people here in this galaxy, did you know that?”

 _I don’t want this._ The thought seared through his mind the second he felt the hot breath on his neck and tears shot into his eyes. This touch had been welcome to him once, but now his stomach was in a knot so tight he felt ready to choke.

“I want the people in my territories to lead the best lives they can. And they do. No more Wraith, no wars with other Goa’uld. And the Genii have been more than willing to help me fulfil my vision… until they weren’t anymore. But their homeworld is a nice enough place, wouldn’t you say?”

So this was where they were. On a world on which Ba’al had killed most of the inhabitants after taking what he could from them. Just like he’d done with Caleb. Only that it hadn’t felt that way. He blinked and stood up abruptly, freeing himself from the hands starting to roam over his chest. “For a guy who begged me to stay, you’re pretty damn cheeky now.” Something flashed in Brecht’s eyes. Something that made Caleb want to recoil, but instead he stood fast. Where was he to run to anyway?

“You weren’t too eager to leave, as I recall.”

For a few moments they merely stared at each other, Caleb trying to calm his rapid heartbeat as the birds of the empty Genii homeworld chirped happily above. This didn’t concern them. The conquering of worlds and destruction of people didn’t matter to them. Brecht’s eyes were slightly narrowed, but he did not approach Caleb again. Instead, he looked Caleb up and down. Considering him and Caleb felt more exposed than he had that night. As though he was judged to his very core by this man who was so strangely fascinated by him.

“Here’s my offer to you.” Brecht still wasn’t moving. He merely stood there, fingers touching briefly, his eyes capturing Caleb’s with ease.

What was it with this man that made Caleb want to put as much distance between them and rip his clothes off at the same time? And then he felt his neck grow hot with embarrassment. If anybody ever found out about this… his parents would hate him. And Lucas? Lucas would never look at him again. He wiped his shaking hands on his pants. “I won’t let you make me a host.”

“Even if you had a choice in the matter, I have no use for other Goa’uld.” The answer came promptly enough. “I have the ability to create as many _mes_ for as long as I want to. No. No, that is not what I want.” And then he was moving again, closer towards Caleb, who couldn’t move. Merging his image of Brecht with this monster was still impossible. The same voice, the same eyes, the same lips. At the same time there was a cruelty in those very eyes that made him tremble to the core, but it was as though a veil had been lifted. Brecht had shown him something that hadn’t been fake back then. It had been something akin to vulnerability and loneliness and Caleb still sensed a trace of it in the way Brecht now raised his hands to touch Caleb’s sides.

Caleb took a shuddering breath. He had a feeling he knew where this was going. And he would say yes. Yes to everything. How could he not, when everything was on the line? Everything for his team.

For his parents.

For Josh.

For Grace.

For Lucas.

“I am fairly certain the Tau’ri will figure things out soon enough. Carter knows me well enough for that. What I want,” Brecht said, his hands gliding up Caleb’s sides and finally cupping his cheeks, “is for you to lead the negotiations for me. With the Tau’ri.”

Caleb blinked, ignoring the warmth of those hands on his cheeks. “You want what?”

“You heard me. Accompany me to the negotiations.” He pulled Caleb’s face towards him and as the sweet, warm breath hit his lips, he felt his eyes fall shut as his traitorous hands went up to rest on Brecht’s hips. And then Brecht kissed him. There was nothing of the hunger in that kiss. Nothing of that urge, but a tenderness that almost made Caleb’s knees buckle. “Do this for me and your friends will live.” A soft chuckle, the waves of air against his skin like ice.

Caleb’s eyes flew open to look into deep brown, smiling eyes. The crinkles deep and so damn handsome. “And then what?”

“And then…” Brecht’s hand combed through his hair, cupping his neck in a grip that was neither strong not soft. “Then we’ll see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I went there. I really did… I’m so so sorry! And I’m sorry for bringing Ba’al back if you think this is weird. I’m not really sorry for making him the way he is, though?


	50. Chapter 50

_2019_

_“I’m a bit nervous.”_

_“I know.”_

_“Shouldn’t we stay? Just for another day or two?”_

_“Alex… “ he patted her hand and shook his head. He understood what she was getting at far too well. And it wasn’t like he was perfectly calm, but this was the right thing to do. He couldn’t keep himself from smiling. “You do know we’re on the plane already? Do you want to cancel?”_

_She leaned back in her seat, her fingers closing around his. “No. My mom is gonna drag them to all the museums in the vicinity, while Adam will spoil them with toys and McDonald’s.” She smiled. “We wouldn’t want to rob my family of that when they complain so much about not seeing them.”_

_Laughing softly, he lifted her hand to his lips. “How long has it been since the two of us have been on holiday together? Just the two of us?”_

_“I believe,” she whispered so low he had to strain his ears to hear her over the engine and the soft rumbling of the air conditioning. She stretched out her finger, touching his lips, “the last real holiday was cut short when we had to be taken straight back to General Landry. It was a bit of an international crisis.”_

_Somehow Evan had learned to laugh about this. Leaning in, he pressed his lips to hers. “I love you.”_

_Her smile widened. “I-“_

_“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard this flight from London Heathrow to JFK, New York.”_

_She looked up at the speakers above them, her mouth hanging slightly open and it took Evan a full second before he too realized what was going on._

_“My name is Captain John Sheppard, accompanied here by my First Officer Douglas Crieff. I will not bore you with the details of how high up we’ll be flying, or how long this trip will take, because I know for a fact, you will be looking at the little screens in front of you for most of the flight.”_

_2034_

“Are you feeling better?” Torren whispered.

Grace shook her head. They were sitting at one side of the room with Josh and Eva right across from them. Josh had his arm around her as she was leaning against him, one hand on his leg. They looked comfortable with each other. At ease in sleep. It was something Grace couldn’t even begin to think about. And neither could Lucas. He was still standing by the door, still seething. He didn’t even listen when Miller told him to sit down.

“You should try to get some rest.” Torren weaved his fingers through hers.

“What for?” She looked up at Lucas and she felt something in her chest start to crack. Ba’al had killed so many. And whoever he was interested in, no matter for what reason, ended up dead. She’d read enough about him, had learned enough about Goa’uld strategies to know that Ba’al would not let them live if they were of no or little value to him. And what use were they really? They were a nuisance.

All of that didn’t really worry her. She’d always known this might happen. What worried her was that it was incredibly uncharacteristic to have Ba’al pay such special attention to Caleb.

She was only grateful to have Torren by her side. And she hated herself for thinking that. He should be home. Back at school. Teaching. Or at the very least, he should be on the _Hammond_ with her parents. This was not right. He wasn’t supposed to die with her here.

He didn’t speak, just held her hand and she selfishly felt his warmth seeping into her. He knew what was going in inside her head. He’d known her since forever after all. Her mother had shown her the early pictures. The ones she kept on a secret, outdated drive in their home. And one had stuck with her in particular. Of Grace and Torren, of Josh, Caleb and Lucas sitting in the rear of one of those tube shaped Ancient ships they used to call Jumpers. John was sitting behind them, his feet stretched out in front of him as he watched the children. Where they were or why John Sheppard, military commander of the expedition, was watching them, or why that picture had been taken at all, Grace didn’t know, but she remembered staring at herself, no older than one, clinging to the older Torren. When her mother had shown her this picture, Grace had already been chosen for the Stargate Program. She had already known of her parents’ roles in its history. She’d always known that Torren was a constant friend in her life and getting to know him on a more intimate level came natural to her. It would never have occurred to her to make as big a deal about this as Lucas and Caleb did, but seeing herself already clinging to Torren before she even remembered it, had shifted something within her. It had made suspicion certainty.

And she hated that she couldn’t tell him this.

Not with everyone around.

Not when they could so easily be overheard.

Instead she lifted his arm over her shoulders and leaned into him, her head resting on his shoulder. “I’m sure he’s fine,” he whispered into her hair. The sudden rush of warm air made her scalp tingle and she closed her eyes, unable to speak. How could she say anything to that, when she knew he was only saying it to make her feel better. “He needs him for something, or he would have had him killed already.”

She shivered, pressing herself against him, wishing she could have hidden her face from everyone else. She hadn’t forgotten. The way Caleb had looked at Ba’al. What they had said. _They know each other._ But she couldn’t say that either. Because how was that possible? Where should Caleb have met Ba’al?

Swallowing hard, she closed her eyes so she didn’t have to look at Lucas. Caleb’s wide eyes, the way he’d stared at Ba’al… Whatever it was that had driven Ba’al to do this, she couldn’t imagine Caleb would want Lucas to know.

“I’m coming with you.”

Evan hadn’t expected anything else from him. Ronon wouldn’t be Ronon if he decided to lay low and let others rescue his only child. And besides, they could use someone from this galaxy at their side, lest they start up yet another war and it was all their fault.

“We are leaving within the hour,” Carter said, going through the ship’s status on the thin tablet in her hand. “Get everything you need.” She looked up at him and nodded. “Thank you.”

With a grunt, telling her he’d understood, Ronon was about to turn around, when Fisherman spoke up. “Ma’am, we’re receiving a transmission. Not encoded.”

Carter threw him a short glance and then nodded at Fisherman. “Load it on a secure computer before playing it.”

“Yes, Ma’am.” She leaned against her chair, eyes intent on the screen ahead of her. A message didn’t have to be bad news. It was highly unlikely that in their situation it was good news, though. Evan felt Alex shift beside him. He’d meant to send her off the bridge, but he also couldn’t bring himself to tell her to leave. To leave her to not knowing.

It only took a few seconds for Fisherman to arrange everything and Evan felt the eyes of every single person on the bridge on him as Carter nodded at the younger woman. “Let’s see it.”

His heart sank the moment the familiar face appeared on screen. The same smile, the same hair, the same beard. Tan and confident. He felt bile rise in his throat. Suspicions were not a good preparation. And what this face alone confirmed made him want to punch something.

“Greetings.” That voice. That voice which made his blood run cold. He hadn’t heard it in over twenty years and the sound of it was enough to make it all rush back into his mind. Alex. Nora. The deceit and the lies and the pain and the constant fear. And now, finally, Ba’al had a hold of their children again. “I am Ba’al. This is a message for the crew of the _USS George Hammond_ , but especially to its commanding officer Colonel Carter, and, of course General Lorne.” The smirk tugging at the corners of his lips elevated his urge to punch to a flaming hot desire to choke the life out of him. “As you undoubtedly may ver presumed, I have in my custody three of your teams and one Satedan female. But there are other subjects which we need to discuss and reach an agreement on. The trespassing of Tau’ri forces on formerly declared neutral zones for instance. You may be surprised to hear me say this, but this is how things stand. I demand you to meet with me in person to negotiate the terms of our new agreement. I will send you the time and place within the day.” And with that the message was over. Ba’al’s image faded away to leave behind the view of the sea of green that was the forest surrounding them.

_“What are the odds?”_

_Evan laughed. He was off his seat the moment he saw the curtain being pulled to the side. “McKay could probably tell you,” he grinned, hugging Sheppard close to his chest._

_“He really could.” Sheppard clapped him on the shoulder, then pulled Alex into a hug as well. During their time on Atlantis they hadn’t been particularly close, but once they were back here, once Sheppard had assumed the role as Torren’s substitute father, things had changed somewhat._

_“It’s good to see you,” she said. Sheppard’s temples were starting to go grey, but she couldn’t say it made him look older. Not even the beard managed to do that. “How is Teyla?”_

_“She’s good,” he laughed, taking a step back to take a short look around. The captain leaving the flight deck to greet two of the passengers was, after all, a very unusual sight and Sheppard didn’t look like he liked all that attention being thrown at them. “Family visit back in England?”_

_Evan nodded, ignoring the stares and the people looking away on purpose at the same time. “We haven’t seen Alex’s brother and mother in ages. It was high time we dropped the kids off so they could have a go.”_

_Again, Sheppard laughed. “Will you be staying in New York?”_

_“Well…” Evan threw her a glance, unsure of what to say. They had planned on taking a road trip. Something quiet. No big tour of the city. They had done it before, and their relationship hadn’t lasted. It seemed like a bad omen to repeat that now._

_“Stay with us for a day or two, will you?” Sheppard was still grinning._

_When the SGC had abandoned Pegasus for good, Alex hadn’t thought she’d ever see him smile again. But there it was. That characteristic grin and the twinkle in his eye. “Sure. Thank you for the invitiation.”_

_“Great. I can’t wait to catch up. And Torren will be extra disappointed you didn’t bring Caleb and Grace.”_

“What did Sheppard say when he quit?”

Alex looked up. She was clutching her metal mug so tightly, she felt the heat seeping into her skin. Small comfort in this whirlwind of uncertainty. Ronon was scowling at her. Not the way he frowned at Evan or at Carter. It helped her take her mind of the thousand other things going through her mind as the ship prepared for leaving this place behind.

From the corner of her eye she could see Kavanagh frowning at a tablet. How she hated having him near her after that outburst of his, but she couldn’t bear being alone in her quarters. But he was far away. Far enough not to be able to hear them over the soft rumble of the engines. Nobody else was down here.

Evan was up on the bridge with Carter and there was clearly nothing for her to do. Not for the foreseeable future. She only dreaded bursting into tears here and now. She’d been waiting for her eyes to start burning again the moment Ba’al’s face had appeared in front of her. Unchanged. Unyielding.

“Sheppard?” she asked, trying to recall Ronon’s message and clutching the mug even tighter.

“When he quit the Stargate Program. You never told me.” So this was his strategy. Keep her distracted as long as possible until Evan had time for her again. He must be just as nervous. Emma was at the window, looking down at the planet slowly receding from view.

“I don’t know exactly,” she said. “But he was furious and disappointed. Teyla resigned the same time he did. They moved to New York.”

“They became an item then?”

Alex nodded at her tea. Chamomile. It was supposed to be soothing, but it reminded her too much of the stuff she’d drunk on Larsa. She’d never been able to stomach it after that. But it was all the tea that was left onboard. No small wonder after months of travelling. “About half a year after the siege, yes. And Sheppard’s been a really good dad to Torren.”

“He does seem like a good kid.”

“The kid’s twenty-six years old.”

Ronon scoffed at this, lifting his own mug to his lips. “Tell me about it. Eva turned twenty-two last month and she’s been making her own decisions for years.”

Eva. There it was. His own daughter. The person he must be worried about the most. Alex watched Emma turn around slightly to look at them. She wasn’t far away, had probably heard every word they were saying. “Do you think he will let them live?” she asked, her tone firm, but the worry so plain in her eyes, Alex had to look down again. At her fingers and the wedding ring as it stood out against her pale skin.

Would he?

Would Ba’al let their children go? Just like that?

Would Carter and Evan agree to negotiate, or engage in an attack straight away? She knew the protocol. She knew Carter and Evan were devoted to the rules and regulations. But she also knew that Carter and Evan had very often gone against those. And over the years the rule that nobody was to be left behind had only been re-affirmed. They had always tried to uphold that promise to each and every member of each and every expedition. But sometimes a promise needed to be broken. Sometimes it was broken, because politics demanded it.

And engaging in negotiations with Ba’al was a political act.

Engaging in open conflict with a man who had taken over half of two galaxies even more so. They could not afford to start another war.

On the other hand, they could not start negotiating with terrorists.

And Ba’al was that, too.

Alex pressed her lips together, trying to keep them from quivering. The block of ice that had appeared as suddenly as Ba’al had re-entered her life, made her shiver, but she also knew it helped her keep the tears at bay. She had killed him. Evan had killed him. And yet, there was always one more. One more clone, one more copy, ready to make their life a living hell. To take their children. “I don’t know,” she conceded finally, her voice as calm as the tea in her mug. Undisturbed by the venom coursing through her veins. It was no use pretending. Not to these two. Not to anyone. “He’s…” she cleared her throat. “Ba’al’s only concern is his own well-being. If keeping them alive, if handing them over is to his advantage, he will do it.” Yes, he was cruel. He was viscous and dangerous, but he was also calculating. And that might help.

She felt Ronon staring at her and she had to force herself to look up again. To face him. He, like Emma, must know that there might be no negotiations at all. But the fact that Evan and Carter had allowed them to come along, must be some comfort. It had to be. They wouldn’t have done it, if they’d decided to blow Ba’al’s ship out of the sky already.

“I only ever read a few files about him,” Emma said, sitting down herself. “It… it never seemed important… not until now. Not after… after his defeat.” She frowned at the table and Alex watched Ronon slide his hand under the table to put it on his wife’s knee.

“I never though I’d have to think about killing him for a third time.” Alex found herself smiling, as the block of ice appeared to grow. Humour in the face of danger was _not_ her strong suit.

“Eva might do that for you if he touches a hair on Josh’s pretty head.” Ronon said, pride and worry displayed in equal parts on his face as he looked at Emma. He didn’t flinch when she whacked his arm.

“Don’t be like that,” Emma scolded him, taking the mug from him to take a gulp herself.

Alex looked out the window, at the horizon of trees slimming into a thin line before it vanished completely in a mass of grey clouds before the ship broke atmosphere and there was nothing left outside the viewport but inky blackness and tiny dots of stars. She sighed and got up. “I’m gonna head to the gym.” It was better than doing nothing. Better than sitting around to wait for Evan to show up here while she was with Emma and Ronon. With Kavanagh within earshot. The gym would be empty right now. That was something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I know I used to be better with updates, but NaNoWriMo is taking up a LOT of my daily writing time 😊 I hope you’re still reading and still enjoying this story. We’re very close to the big finale now.
> 
> Let me know what you think!


	51. Chapter 51

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! I'm back!! I'm so so sorry this took so long. I was super busy with my NaNoWriMo project (a modern Teacher!AU involving gingerpilot called "Mirror, Mirror") and I got a bit stuck. I mean, we're about 400 000 words into this monster of a story.. so… kudos for sticking with me and with Evan and Alex and Caleb and Grace and… you know, the hundreds of characters we got to know here….

** Chapter 51 **

_2034_

Nothing could distract her. Not the heavy workout. Not the shower afterwards.

Whenever she saw someone, an airman passing her in the hallway or in the elevator, she felt the stares. Whenever she was alone, she heard that voice in her head telling her that it wouldn’t work out. That Caleb and Grace and everybody else were lost. Sitting on the bed, her leg stretched out as she looked out into the swirling blue of hyperspace, she felt the fear mounting with every passing second. Suffocating her under the weight of her own uselessness.

Her hair was still wet, her muscles tense, her thoughts on her children. Yes, they were adults. Professionals who had known what they were getting into, but the fact remained that they were her children. She’d carried them, feared for them even before they were born. She and Evan had gone through hell getting them out of Atlantis to raise them back on Earth. Every little cold, every scratch, everything big and small in their lives had affected theirs. And now she had to think of them as though they were already lost.

She did not turn to look left when the mechanism by the door beeped, signalling that it accepted the keycode. She didn’t have the strength to look at Evan as he approached her and sat on the bed next to her. The mattress gave way under his weight.

The very fact that he didn’t say anything, no word of comfort or reassurance told her all she needed to know. The decision had been made. The decision to blast Ba’al’s ship out of the sky if they could. With everyone on it if the beaming technology failed them.

The air was heavy with the grief she was already anticipating and not even his hand on her knee could dampen it.

Alex couldn’t move or look at him. This wasn’t his fault, she knew that, yet her heart had trouble keeping up with that knowledge.

“Do you want me to leave?”

She didn’t respond. She didn’t want to be alone. But she also didn’t know if she could look at the general who would have to look at the death of her children as acceptable casualties of war.

He shifted to sit next to her. 

What she could have accepted, what she always _had_ accepted was the fact that they might die on a mission together. But that threat had dissipated more and more over the years. First she had stopped going on missions, then his new job had kept him on Earth most of the time. That danger was gone.

And then their children had joined up and Evan had become their commander. Everything about this was wrong.

Evan was still wearing his boots. “Will you look at me?”

She owed him that much. She knew it. Just as well as she knew that he needed her. Tentatively she turned her head.

He had never looked old to her. Not until now. The creases around his eyes appeared deeper, the grey in his hair lighter. The tiredness in his eyes more profound than ever before.

“Carter is taking over the whole thing,” he said. “I shouldn’t have come here in the first place.” He swallowed hard and looked down at his hands, his voice grave with the weight of it all. “The plan is not to attack until we’re sure there’s nothing we can do for them.”

“Ba’al will know that.”

Evan nodded again. “That’s why Carter is in charge. She knows him better than anyone. She won’t have doubts about which action to take. Or not to take.” His eyes narrowed as he stared at his hands, but his voice remained level. “They’re sending an extraction team.”

She was not entirely sure she could feel relieved. There was no way of telling what to expect once they got there.

“His base is the Genii home world,” Evan said and he finally raised his head to look her in the eye again. “And we suspect he’s occupied that space for the better part of twenty years. He will have fortified the tunnel and bunker structure, we know that. He‘s had years to implement his own technology and the technology he’s robbed of other people. Chances are, they’re not even on the ship anymore.”

It did not sound encouraging. But Alex knew he wasn’t trying to be. He was being realistic. Telling her all he could so she’d understand.

“Have you talked to Ronon and Emma yet?”

He shook his head. “Carter is doing that.” He held out his hand to her, palm facing up. The scar he’d gotten on one of his last training missions clearly visible. Back then he had joked about how it made his hand look more than hers, but really, he had been terrified he’d never be able to draw again.

She carefully placed her hand into his. None of this made the situation easier. His words meant nothing and yet, at the same time, they meant everything. There was no promise, no definitive decision. “I wish I knew…” she began, but she had to break off. She didn’t trust her voice. Not right now.

He squeezed her hand. It was no real comfort. How could it be. But they were here together. They were in this together. And what else was there to be said? There was nothing. Nothing at all.

They came for them. The guards, unmasked men, all of them, in simple black body armour, came in for the first time about a day after Grace had woken up. They took Josh’s team and Caleb’s team first.

Grace jumped to her feet the moment the guards singled out the airmen sitting at the back of the room, but one look from Miller was enough for her not to protest out loud. What use was it anyway?

And so they watched them go. Without a word. Without acknowledgement. They had no idea where they were taken, but the threat of execution was hanging in the air and it grew heavier with every step the others took. One minute Hernandez, George, Mortimer, Jebson, Finnemore and Durham were there. Then they were gone, leaving behind nothing but oppressive silence.

“We’re just gonna let this happen?” Eva protested as the door shut with a soft hissing sound.

“What do you want to do?” Miller shot back. “Attack them unarmed?”

There was no doubt it was on Eva’s mind. But before she could answer the door slid open with a soft hissing sound.

One of the guards, a rather short, stocky woman with a thick scar running down her cheek stepped inside now, her greying red curls seemed out of place somehow, unruly as they were. She didn’t say a word, but the guards who followed her inside didn’t need one.

Frowning, Miller stepped forward, hands on her hips. “My name is Major Madison Miller. I demand to know where you’re taking us and where my men are.”

The woman’s gaze slowly turned towards Miller, one of her eyebrows raised. The look the woman gave Miller made the blood run icy cold in Grace’s veins. But once again she didn’t respond. She merely turned to her men and nodded.

“Hey!” Miller shouted, freeing her arm from the guard’s grasp with such force, she stumbled. “I demand to know-“

Torren gasped when the woman pulled out her handheld weapon, pointing it straight at Miller’s face. His hand closed around Grace’s arm.

“One more word…” The woman said coolly, her blue eyes drifting over the five of them still inside this cell. “Time to go.”

They walked in silence, the sounds of the boots behind them echoing in the dark steel-covered corridors. Grace didn’t even chance a look at Torren walking behind her. She didn’t want to draw too much attention to her unease. It must be clear enough. Her stomach was in a knot so tight, she felt like she was about to throw up with every single step they took. Her head was still hammering and she kept glancing into the side corridors as they walked.

Shielded walls. Gleaming finish to the floor. The soft hum of engines more prominent now that they were no longer in their cell. _A ship_ , she thought. _Still aboard that ship._ She tried focusing on that. Tried finding out as much as she could from her surroundings, but neither the black walls, nor the guards all dressed in the same colour spoke to her.

And where was Caleb? With every passing minute she felt her anxiety rising. Her palms were sweaty, her heart hammering in her chest as she kept looking left and right for some sign, any sign at all of where they were and what was going on here… Ba’al… yes… but weren’t Goa’uld supposed to be fond of pomp and grandeur? What about the Jaffa who had served him? Had they all been replaced? Deemed untrustworthy and left to die without tritonin to help them along?

Grace blinked hard against the tears burning in her eyes as she remembered the bodies in the vast room where she had woken up first. Bodies kept in stasis. One human, the rest of them of another species. Were those the infamous, infinitely strong Furlings? Stored in a safe environment like Christmas baubles after New Years’ Eve? Would they all end up like this? And would her parents ever know?

She pushed the thought far away from her. Now was not the time to worry about how guilty her father must be feeling right now. No matter what he might or might not find out. He would always think of how he had sent his children on a recon mission from which they had never returned. And it would kill him.

When they finally reached a vast, circular room with a familiar shape inlaid into the shiny black floor, Grace wasn’t even bothered anymore. She was pressed up against one of the tall guards, her hand trailing down the side of Torren’s arm to weave her trembling fingers through his. _Don’t leave me, too_ , she thought, begging the universe for a miracle that would surely never happen.

Caleb stared at the city stretching out before him. He knew the guards were flanking him, leading him somewhere new, but he had to stop. He had to look.

The city was like nothing he had ever expected to see. A city beneath the surface of the planet they had just been on, stretching on for about a mile and encompassing the entire cave. A city consisting of concentric circles, one stacked over the other like the toy he had once had as a child, though far less colourful. His eyes roamed over the massive buildings at the bottom, at the steady stream of water passing through them. Electricity, he thought. They were producing their own electricity, though he had not the faintest idea where the water was coming from… was there an underwater stream coming in from one of the sides he couldn’t see from here?

And then there were those other buildings, all of them illuminated, all of them looking more majestic than efficient as they rose up to meet the next line of buildings. And there, at the very top, was the smallest one, a black gleaming pyramid in the half-illuminated vastness of the cave. What was this place? Had the genii built it? Caleb doubted it. From what he’d learned, they were a people who thrived on efficiency, not grandeur… well, clearly that had changed.

He felt prod in his side and knew the guards were growing impatient. Clearly they knew he was valuable, or they wouldn’t have let him stare this long.

Valuable…

Caleb felt bile rising in his throat. He was valuable to some extent. He was valuable as long as he could help Ba’al get what he wanted.

Ba’al. He had to remember to call him that and nothing else. This was not just a college professor he’d once, stupidly slept with. This was a man far more dangerous than any other person he had ever met. Probably even more so than every single one of those Wraith who had taken them to that forsaken place where they had been captured.

Pulling himself together, he followed the guards. The window overlooking the massive city was huge, giving the viewer as they followed the passage leading from the surface to this place, a good first impression of the beauty of what lay beneath all the rock and concrete. Once the Genii had been nothing but a technologically advanced society in a galaxy inhabited by people who barely managed to scrape by. Now they were nothing but servants to someone else. Someone who had brought them technology which easily beat that of the Wraith and any other people threatening to destroy them. The Genii were survivors in many ways… but was selling themselves to a Goa’uld really that much better? Caleb looked at the guard behind him. He was far younger than Caleb, maybe in his late teens, but judging by the way he was holding his rifle, he had been trained using these things long ago, probably as a child.

What a life… and Ba’al had supported this. He had done much worse, Caleb knew, but this actual kid holding him at gunpoint, the softness of his cheeks undeniably childlike, made Caleb feel sick to his core. “Do you-“ he began, but before he could finish, the guard hit him in the small of the back with the butt of his rifle.

“Keep walking,” he said. “No talking.”

They passed one of the fluorescent lights and the young boy’s pimples shone bright red in the whiteness hitting him from above.

Pressing his lips into a thin line, Caleb followed the guard in front of him into a small room, not much unlike an elevator cabin. He watched the young woman type something into a panel with strange symbols he didn’t even remotely recognize, then there was a soft buzz and the heavy metal doors opened in front of them. The corridor they emerged into was different from the one they had just left. The walls were even darker and smoother and the stomach twisting stench of disinfectant hung heavily in the air as he followed the two guards along the hallway. Closed doors, all of them looking exactly alike, black and without signs or numbers were leading off the corridor at long intervals. And then, as though the guard in front had found exactly what she was looking for, stopped and Caleb nearly ran into her. “In here.” She hitched up her sleeve and held her wrist against a square black crystal embedded into the wall to the right of the door. There was a low humming sound and the door retracted into the ceiling.

Caleb froze, eyes trained on the man sitting on the bench directly opposite him. His heart thudded painfully in his chest, as the guard pushed him inside, though his legs barely went along with the command. His feet dragged over the gleaming floor as he took a step inside the small cell. There was nothing in here. Nothing but that bench and… Lucas. He let out a long breath as Lucas slowly got to his feet, blue eyes trained on him. Searching him. Familiar and bone-chilling in the way they looked at him. And they would surely find out. They would know… know everything.

Swallowing hard, Caleb quickly averted his gaze to stare, almost pleadingly at the guards to take him away so he didn’t have to face this now, but he didn’t even manage to make eye contact with the pimpled youth before the door closed again behind him.

“Oh my God, Caleb, are you alright?”

The hands were on his hips before he could take a step back. Not forcefully. Not urgingly. They were just… there. Holding him steady and upright when all he wanted to do was collapse against the door.

“Caleb?”

He nodded tentatively and looked up, feeling himself like that shy teenager again. Only this time it was worse. This time he had done something extremely stupid and the aching longing in his chest already felt like treachery. Especially when he found that Lucas was smiling. “Yeah, I’m okay,” he lied, unable to resist when Lucas pulled him close, wrapping him in his arms.

It was the first time he had ever done that and Caleb found it hard to breathe. Blinking, he stared at the black fabric of Lucas’ T-Shirt, his entire body tense like a bowstring as he felt those wonderfully heavy hands on his back and the warm breath on his neck. And then Lucas’ hand moved up, brushing his hairline with his fingertips, pulling his head to rest against his shoulder and Caleb’s eyes fell shut despite himself. Lucas didn’t know… he didn’t need to know.

His hands still trembling, he wrapped his arms around Lucas’ waist. It was alright, he told himself. Lucas had no idea.

How he hated his childish little brain sometimes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So… what are your thoughts? I'd love to hear them! Take care, guys!


	52. Chapter 52

**  
**

_2034_

“Caleb, I thought… Grace told us you-“

“She’s okay?” His head snapped up and he pulled back. “Where-“

“We were all taken down here a few hours ago. She’s in one of the other cells with Miller.” He was frowning now as he led Caleb away from the door. “Hey, what happened to you?”

Caleb shook his head, burying his face in his hands. There it was. Just a few minutes of being in Lucas’ company and already he was about to lose his nerve. He sat down on the narrow bench, unable to look at Lucas. Why the hell was he felling like he’d betrayed him? “I-“ he started and broke off again.

“What did Ba’al do to you?”

The words died halfway to his lips, leaving nothing behind but a rotten taste on his tongue. He closed his mouth again and shut his eyes. “Nothing,” he said finally, but Lucas’ grip on his collar forced him to turn around. To look into those blue, demanding eyes.

“Caleb, you know I don’t believe you.” His hand was lying gently on his arm. “You know you can tell me anything.”

_No,_ Caleb thought, _I really can’t._ He let out a long breath. “He wants me to be there for the negotiations.”

“What negotiations?”

Biting his lip, Caleb looked down at his hands and all of a sudden there was a prickling in his nostrils and his hands were starting to swim before his eyes just a second later. _Do this for me and your friends will live._ He tried swallowing, but his mouth was bone dry. “He wants a deal,” he forced out, keeping his voice level as best he could while Lucas’ arm went around his shoulder. “And make sure we stay out of his territory.”

“That’s why he took us hostage? Could’ve gotten negotiations easier.”

Caleb shrugged and stared disbelievingly as Lucas’ other hand landed on his knee.

“Unless of course… he knows your parents are here… damn.”

That wasn’t even half of it, but right now he didn’t have the guts to tell Lucas more. He didn’t want to see the disappointment in his eyes, or worse, the disapproval. He passed a hand over his face, touching his lips only briefly. He didn’t even have the strength to wonder how much of his family’s history Lucas knew through the filles accessible to every member of the SGC.

Nothing had happened. Nothing, apart from that kiss. That was forgiveable, surely? He and Lucas hadn’t kissed after all. They’d been close, but… no, it hadn’t happened, so what was there to forgive? “What about the others?” he asked, leaning back against the cool concrete wall.

Lucas pressed his lips into a thin line. “Don’t know,” he whispered hoarsely. “They took them before they took us. I can’t tell you where they are, but my guess is, they’re locked somewhere around here.” He leaned back as well. Their arms were almost touching. Caleb wondered if he could feel Lucas’ body heat through the layers of clothes. “I feel so damn useless right now.”

“Part of the game of being trapped in a cell, I suppose.”

“Funny,” Lucas said and then he turned his head. Out of the corner of his eyes Caleb saw him smile. “I’m glad you’re okay,” he said and next second Caleb felt the other’s hand on his leg again. “I don’t know what I would’ve done…”

“Thank you…” Caleb muttered, his hand trembling as he put it on Lucas’. He would tell him, he thought. He would. Not just right now. Not when Lucas’ fingers were trailing up his hand. Not when all he wanted to do was close his eyes and let this happen. “I-“ his breath hitched in his throat and he let his face fall on Lucas’ shoulder. _He smells so good_ , he thought as his eyes fell shut and his hand closed around Lucas’.

“What?” Lucas asked, his low voice rumbling in Caleb’s ear.

“Nothing,” Caleb muttered. “Just… let’s just be quiet for a moment.”

_“I’m sure I have it right here,” Caleb said, hands on his hips. His heart was thumping wildly as Lucas follows him inside his bedroom._

_Of course Lucas had been in here a million times, but not at all in the past few years. Caleb looked awkwardly at his bed and noticed that he the blanket is all crumpled up. He really should start making it after getting up in the morning. But all he could do now was watch as Lucas entered the room and sat down on the chair at his desk._

_He looked different with the muscles clearly defined under the white T-shirt and the very short hair. Different, but not bad. Not bad at all._

_Caleb felt his heart miss a beat when their eyes met and he quickly turned around to his book case to find the one he had talked to Lucas about. The book which was the reason for Lucas to ask him to take him up here._

_Downstairs Lucas’ and Caleb’s parents were probably still preparing dinner. Grace was still outside with the dog. Nobody would come looking for them here._

_Swallowing hard, Caleb reached for the book and drew it out. “How’s the academy?” he asked and he heard a soft creaking sound as Lucas got up from the chair again._

_“You know… lots of work, drills and stuff.” Lucas had only just finished basic training, but he already sounded like he hadn’t been this busy in years. He reached around Caleb and grabbed the book from his hand. “Is this any good?” he asked sceptically. “Settlers of Catan is supposed to be a game. Not a story.”_

_“You can turn everything into a story,” Caleb shrugged. “But it’s a good one. My dad really likes the author’s books. Just don’t tell anyone.” He found himself grinning and Lucas’ eyes twinkled when he met his gaze. Another heartbeat gone missing._

_“Wouldn’t dream of it. Colonel Lorne is very well thought of. Wouldn’t want anybody to know he’s an intellectual. Nobody knows he’s a painter, you know?”_

_Caleb shrugged, a bitter taste in his mouth now. Damn it, he’d brought it up. Why couldn’t he just leave it at that and be cool about it? “Everybody who’s ever been to our house knows.” This wasn’t going at all as planned. Why did he even want to talk about his father right now? How damn stupid was he? “Lucas,” he began and the smirk on Lucas’ face made his stomach squirm._ Just go for it, _he thought, taking a step closer to Lucas._

_“How’s uni?”_

_“I switched to archaeology.”_

_Lucas raised one of his immaculate eyebrows. “Really? Wow… okay.” He grinned slightly. “Good choice, I expect?”_

_“Why are you saying that?”_

_“I don’t know… you’re geeky like Daniel, my dad and your mom… makes sense.” There it was again. Talking about their parents. And then Lucas added something else. “Makes me feel like I’m home.” He grinned, almost tentatively and Caleb found himself moving closer. Drawn in by the long eyelashes and the unbelievable smile._

_Caleb didn’t have anything else to say. No words to express how fast his heart was beating or how badly he wanted to close the door. He stretched out his hand, his fingers were brushing over Lucas’ wrist and Caleb felt himself drawn even closer, when the door burst open and Lucas jumped back._

_Grace._

_Caleb’s eyes flickered to his sister and for a moment he felt like throttling her. Lucas gathered the book close to his chest. Protectively. Like this really was the whole reason for his presence in Caleb’s childhood bedroom._

_“Dad says dinner’s ready,” Grace declared, her eyes fixed on Lucas and the way he was clutching the book. “And if you’re not down in a minute, you won’t get anything.”_

_“Ha!” Lucas muttered as he moved towards the door. His eyes only briefly lingered on Caleb leaning pathetically against the bookshelf. “Come on, then. And thanks for the book. I’ll give it back to you when I’m done with it.”_

“We can’t make out their transmitter signals aboard the ship,” Fisherman was saying, eyes glued to her console. “There is, however, one signal on the surface. Doctor Lorne. Some fainter traces beneath the surface, but we can’t reach them from here. Can’t even make out how many there are.”

Alex was not on the bridge. Neither was Emma. Not when they were ready to prepare for battle. Not even Evan was supposed to be here, not with his childrens’ lives on the line.

He couldn’t stay away, though. And he hated that he couldn’t go himself. There was no place for him on the extraction team. Not only was he too old, but he was a liability. Ronon was standing on one side of him, Guide on the other as Carter assumed her position, ready for battle. They would be sending in the extraction team at the same time as the negotiations started, hoping their team had enough time. But with both taking place on the surface, things would get complicated.

Evan had trained the leader of the team, he knew that Colonel Baker had been top in her class, but there was no saying what she and the Marines would face once they were down there.

“Alright then, Colonel-“ Carter began, but she was cut off by Baker.

“Yes, I’m aware. Doesn’t change a lot, though. We just need to find a way inside.” Her gaze flickered to Evan for a moment, then she turned to look at Carter again. They had been briefed on this. They had known this might happen. Evan had been in that meeting, consulting the team along with Ronon, who knew the layout of what had formerly been the Genii stronghold, better than anybody else. But things inside that place may have changed significantly over the years.

Ronon shifted uncomfortably behind him. He was itching to go down on that planet himself, but Carter wouldn’t hear of it. Twenty years ago she would have let him, might have even ordered him to go, but things were different. Age notwithstanding, this operation was as bad an idea for Ronon to participate in as it was for Evan.

“Alright. I’m sure Ba’al already knows we’re here. Hail him the same moment you beam the team to the surface.” Carter said, looking over her shoulder at Evan, her eyes saying more than her words. _I’m doing the talking. Remember that._ She nodded at Baker and her team of ten standing in a tight circle in front of them. “God’s speed.”

Fisherman and the other airmen put in a couple of well-coordinated commands and the extraction team was gone in a flash of light, leaving behind nothing but a gaping emptiness where they had stood before. After a brief pause, Fisherman looked up from her console. “Receiving a signal from the surface.”

“Put it on.” Carter sat down in her chair, hands almost lazily on the armrests at her sides and Evan felt his stomach coil into a tight knot. Cold sweat was running down his spine at the realization that he had done the right thing and at the same time had surrendered everything in his own power to save his children to this woman in front of him.

When Ba’al’s face appeared in front of them now, that familiar smug grin on his lips, he felt hatred rising deep within his chest. Sure of himself as Ba’al always was, as he always had been moments before someone had killed him. Evan couldn’t remember the last time he had seen that face. It was all nothing but a blurry mess, but looking at the System Lord now, he felt the searing pain in his chest again, an echo of the agony as the life was slowly drained from him and then returned with such force he’d felt like the breath had been pushed back into his loungs and his life right along with it.

Alex had killed Ba’al then.

Evan had killed him once.

It was never enough.

He always came back, and every single time the obstacles seemed even more insurmountable.

Balling his hands into fists, he took a step forward, so he was standing right behind Carter. Out of the corner of his eye he watched Ronon approach one of the consoles, as though looking at the screen was favourable to looking at Ba’al. Evan couldn’t blame him.

“We thought the negotiations would take place on your ship,” Carter said coolly. “Or on ours at least. You’re on the surface.”

“Indeed.” The smug smile vanished as Ba’al raised his brow.

“Why are we still moving?” Ronon hissed from beside them eyes the woman at the console before him frantically working on her station, but before she could respond, there was a shudder in the metal around them and for the briefest of moments Evan felt as though he could feel the tremor within the walls echoing in his very bones before all the lights went out.

The silence lay heavily on them. Caleb couldn’t remember ever being more acutely aware of another person’s breathing. It wasn’t even as though Lucas was doing it loudly, or that Caleb could hear him, but the slight movement of Lucas’ shoulders and chest was enough to remind him that he wasn’t alone. The hand on his was nothing compared to that breathing, the warmth of Lucas’ skin just a reminder of a chance he hadn’t taken.

Caleb wished he had the courage to reach out to his chest. To squeeze his hand. Anything to give in to his racing heart and forget about Ba’al. But this wasn’t the right time or place. This wasn’t the moment to reach out to Lucas even further and see what might happen next.

Closing his eyes, he leaned his head against the cool wall, trying to ignore Lucas’ disturbing closeness even as they were leaning against each other. He wanted so much and didn’t dare ask for it. What a damn coward he was. “Do you think they’ll stand a chance?” he asked instead. “When the others get here, do you think they can take him on?”

Lucas shrugged. “Realistically?” his voice sounded almost detached and Caleb didn’t have it in him to look at him now. “Not really. This is his new stronghold, right? Even in the old days we wouldn’t have dared attack a System Lord’s main base of operations like this openly. I expect they’ll try to get us out, though.”

Caleb didn’t need to ask whether Lucas thought they would succeed. But they would try. Of course they would. And his parents up in their ship would be losing their minds, because if the failed rescue mission was discovered, they were as good as dead. Even him. Despite what Ba’al had told him. Caleb knew better than to trust those twisted words, no matter how genuine they had sounded.

“I have a question for you, though.” Lucas said and Caleb finally brought himself to look at him. Only the trace of a smile was on Lucas’ lips now, but the dimples were in his cheeks.

“What?”

“I know… bad timing and all, but I figure we might not get another chance to talk about this… so.”

“Ah.” Caleb nodded, his stomach tight as he sat up. He felt Lucas’ fingers twitch in his hand. Of course Lucas would want to talk about it. He was the chatty one after all. Always had been…

“Yeah…” Lucas cleared his throat. “Do… do you think something would have happened? Between us? At some point? Or would we just have… let things be?”

Caleb wished for the light not to be so bright. For them to be somewhere else. Anywhere else. Somewhere where the walls didn’t close in on you like this. Somewhere where you could at least _look_ at _something._ But right now all he could do was stare into Lucas’ eyes. They’d been so close, hadn’t they? On that Wraith ship? And before? Or would they have found a different excuse then? Would he have? Would he now?

He felt the confession about Ba’al hanging on his lips and he knew that that would be even worse than telling Lucas that he was imagining it. “Is that important now?” Caleb asked instead.

“It is to me.” He shrugged. “I’ve been in love with you for about a decade now… might be nice to know if I’m just an idiot, or if you like me back. Just so I don’t die feeling like the biggest fool.” His blue eyes were glinting softly in the bright light. “You know?”

All Caleb could do was stare. Stare at Lucas, his eyes burning, fighting for breath. Years… they could have had years. Somehow, deep inside, he’d always known that Lucas might have some feelings for him… but this blunt declaration… “No,” he breathed, terrified to see Lucas recoil and start to close up on him, but before Lucas could pull away, before Caleb could even start thinking again, he took Lucas’ face in his hands, only briefly registering the heat of his skin and the tension in his cheek muscles, before he pulled him close, cutting Lucas’ gasp off with his lips.

He took a deep breath, fully aware of how fast his heart was beating as he felt the dry heat of Lucas’ lips against his, the first traces of stubble on his jaw, and the humid breath on his own cheek.

It was Lucas who was trembling now, his hands tentatively moving to Caleb’s sides as he returned the soft pressure of his lips. Chaste and tender and yet so much. A promise filled with regret and longing. Caleb’s nose started prickling, he felt the tears long before they emerged, but instead of wiping them away, he let his fingers trace the contours of Lucas’ face, pulling him even closer and then he felt the Lucas’ lips parting, swallowed his own gasp and welcomed the tip of his tongue.

Caleb let out a soft sigh, wishing he could have more. Even now. If only the world would fall away and leave them be.

Lucas’ hand trailed up his spine, cupping the back of his head, holding it in place as their kiss became more urgent, the occasional sigh from Lucas making something deep inside him unravel and tighten at the same time. “Okay,” Lucas whispered against his lips, turning slightly to pull Caleb even closer. “Guess that’s a good enough answer.”

“Shut up,” Caleb breathed, desperate for the talking to stop. For Lucas to kiss him senseless. If he couldn’t have anything else in this life, he’d be glad to have this at least.

And then he froze, the sound of heavy footfalls outside making him pull away. His gaze lingered on Lucas’ lips and slowly moved up towards his eyes, his own swimming with tears. “I love you, too,” he breathed, his heart stuttering in his chest when he felt Lucas’ lips on his again. Just briefly. Nothing more than a chaste kiss. He didn’t even have time to worry about whether it was too soon to say it, because damn it, it wasn’t. He loved Lucas. Had loved him for years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So so sorry for the long wait! I hope you had a happy Christmas, or you could at least pass the Holidays in peace. And now it's time to move into the new year. Let's say goodbye to 2020 and welcome the new one.
> 
> Also, there really is a book about Settlers of Catan. It's by my favourite writer Rebecca Gable. Check it out if you like historical novels, a bit of Norse mythology and the game Settlers of Catan ;)


	53. Chapter 53

_2034_

Nobody moved. Every single gaze was fixed on the screen in front of them, Ba’al’s smug smile chilling Evan to the core.

“You will have noticed that you have no more power.”

Evan’s eyes followed Ronon who leaned low over the console, nearly pushing the officer sitting behind it off her chair.

“You will also have realized that you are now unable to manoeuvre your ship.”

“What do you want, Ba’al?” Carter snapped, skipping any unnecessary demands Ba’al would not comply with anyway.

“You and General Lorne to come to the negotiations.”

“General Lorne will not accompany me,” Carter said. “You want to talk, let’s talk.”

“You are misinterpreting my orders as a request. For as long as the negotiations are underway, this ship will remain on minimal life support as per my orders. Bring any weapons with you and said life support will be cut off.”

Ronon looked up at Evan, his brows furrowed. “I’m coming too,” he said forcefully and stood next to Carter’s chair. “These two will not decide on anything in this galaxy.”

Ba’al’s face remained impassive as he considered the three of them for a moment. “Be prepared to be beamed to my headquarters.”

The transmission was cut off, leaving them in darkness with only the barest trace of emergency lighting illuminating the bridge.

Carter let out a long breath. “Fine,” she muttered, getting to her feet. “Major Fisherman, I’m transferring command to you.” She looked briefly up at Ronon and Evan before she came to her feet. She didn’t need to say anything else. They all knew what was at stake. They also knew there was a very good chance that neither one of them would make it back here.

_“I’m done.”_

_Evan looked up when Alex entered his office. It wasn’t unusual that she turned up here, but never at this time of day. “Done with what? Work?” He smiled, trying to ignore the frown on her face as she threw herself into the chair in front of his desk. She looked tired. Desperately so._

_“With the translations… I’m giving up. I’m putting that stuff away and I swear I won’t look at it again in the next few years, or maybe not ever again. I can’t make sense of it, and Daniel and Jonas don’t have the time to help me. I can’t do this on my own.” She passed a hand over her face._

_Nodding, Evan closed his laptop and leaned in. “McKay’s decryption software isn’t helping either?”_

_Alex snorted. “No.” She closed her eyes and leaned back. “It’s not going anywhere, because those scraps of paper and the few storage crystals only barely scratch the surface of what we found. We found_ some _stuff, yes, but there’s no way we’ll be able to puzzle together everything.”_

_The chair’s legs scraped over the linoleum floor when he got up and moved around the table. She still wasn’t looking at him. “And the Nox’s information don’t help that much either I expect.” He felt sorry for her. This knowledge lay buried beneath the rubble now, never to be recovered. He knelt down in front of her, hands on her legs._

_“What little information they gave me…” Alex sighed and shook her head. She took his hands into hers and smiled down at him. “It doesn’t matter. I’m not getting anywhere and I want to start on working something new. There’s so much this galaxy has to offer.”_

_Evan smiled and nodded. The war was over. For now they could roam the free worlds and pursue what knowledge they could. “It happens sometimes, doesn’t it? Not being able to complete your research because you hit a dead-end… but at least you discovered bits and pieces. Really, in all your work life, you have found out more than most other archaeologists on this planet.”_

_She leaned even closer then, cupping his face and looking into his eyes. “Thank you for saying that,” she said and kissed his forehead. “When do you get off?”_

_“I have an appointment with Mitchell in half an hour. But I can leave right after.”_

_“Okay… I’m going to bother Oliver a bit.”_

_He nodded and squeezed her hands. “You do that.” He smiled up at her. To think that only a few weeks ago he had been terrified of losing her forever and already he still didn’t resent her for wanting to go off-world again. Only from now on she wouldn’t go alone anymore. Never again._

_He kissed her hand and nodded._

The room they found themselves in was almost round, a circular stone table in the centre with a familiar looking pedestal built around it.

Evan didn’t need to look twice to know what it was. It looked too much like the terminal in that castle Ba’al had occupied to be anything else. The shape of the few corners the room provided only underlined this. But that console had been destroyed, hadn’t it? At least it was damaged. They’d hoped to find _something_ in the ruins, but the destroyed pedestal had been obvious in the pictures they’d sen.

A concealed door to his left slid open and Evan narrowed his eyes at the two people entering now. His heart contracted painfully when he saw who was right behind the slightly smaller man. Caleb. Swallowing hard, he kept his eyes fixed on his son. He seemed okay. That was something, but the smugness on Ba’al’s face as he walked in front made Evan want to punch him again. He recalled the satisfying sound his skull had made when he’d shot him. Such a long time ago. He could do it all over again.

“General Lorne,” Ba’al said with that cool smile of his which didn’t even reach his eyes. It never had.

Evan’s gaze fluttered back to Caleb immediately.

“Colonel Carter… and you must be the infamous Ronon Dex. I have heard about you, of course.”

“Cut the crap.” Carter’s voice barely reached him. Caleb was holding his gaze, his eyes so much like his mother’s as he bit his lip and looked down at his feet. “You haven’t blown us out of the sky yet, you clearly did everything you could to lure us here, now what do you want?”

And why had he brought Caleb? Evan’s hands were shaking, aching for his gun. Anything to wipe that smile off Ba’al’s face.

Caleb frowned at his shoes. Evan knew that look. Knew it far too well. He’d seen it often enough when Caleb was in his teens. Like he had done something wrong and didn’t want to admit it.

“Let us sit. This might take a while.”

Evan hesitated, trying to ignore the painful knot that was his stomach. Caleb was here. Where was Grace? Where were the other kids? He stared at Caleb, who still wouldn’t meet his eyes. Swallowing hard, he watched as Caleb took the seat which Ba’al was pointing at for him. What was this? Since when was Caleb this subservient?

Balling his hands into fists, Evan took a step towards Ba’al and only Ronon’s heavy hand on his shoulder held him back.

“You too, General,” Ba’al said.

Their eyes met and Evan shrugged off Ronon’s hand with a jerk before he sat down.

“Doctor Lorne?” Ba’al’s eyes shifted to Caleb who stared at the pedestal in front of him. “Would you care to start?”

What was this? What kind of sick game was Ba’al playing here?

And why was Caleb cooperating? What the devil was going on?!

Caleb frowned and didn’t look at his captor. Folding his hands on top of the table and sitting up a bit straighter, he looked like Alex. The same mannerisms she had shown in the early days at the SGC when she was nervous about presenting some new findings. “Ba’al wants access to our databanks on Earth,” he said, his voice carefully controlled as he looked at Carter. Carter. Not him.

Evan could see the thumb lying on top of his folded hands tremble.

“Why?” Carter said abruptly, looking at Ba’al, not at Caleb and Evan wished he could reach up to touch his son’s shoulder. To pull him into his arms and never let him go. Never before had Caleb seemed so grown-up to him. And yet, at the same time, he had never looked this fragile.

Caleb’s Adam’s apple bobbed up and down when Ba’al leaned back in his chair, not saying a word and clearly waiting for Caleb to speak. What a sick game. What a sick display of power. Clearly this was aimed at him. At unsettling _him_ most of all.

And Carter continued, ignoring the puppet Ba’al was trying to put in front of himself. “You’ve proven time and again that you have access to the SGC, haven’t you? Did you have Colonel Mitchell killed too? Because you didn’t want us to come here and find out about this new pretty little empire of yours.”

“Yes,” Caleb said quietly instead of Ba’al and he finally met Carter’s gaze. “He wants to renegotiate the terms of the previous agreement.”

“What previous agreement?” Carter turned her head ever so slightly to look at Caleb again who shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

“The peace treaty with the Furlings,” he said and Evan sensed that he’d been on the verge of lowering his voice, but when he looked at Evan then, he seemed to be able to steady himself. He looked tired. So very tired. “He wants to openly secure the territories the Furlings have conquered for him and cooperate with the free people of the Milky Way and the Pegasus galaxy.”

Evan didn’t allow himself to show surprise. He didn’t have the time. He couldn’t dive into this new revelation. “In exchange for what?” he asked instead of Carter, knowing full well what Carter had told him. She was in charge.

“I-“

“A treaty has two sides,” Carter said. “If you are actually the ruler of these territories already, which I doubt, what do you have to gain from our database?”

Ba’al still wouldn’t speak. He merely eyed Caleb and put a hand on his forearm, making him flinch. Evan was on the verge of jumping to his feet when he saw the flicker of fear in Caleb’s eyes. Like prey cornered with no way of escape. “His base of operations here in Pegasus was destroyed.” He took a deep breath and looked at Evan again, and only when Evan forced himself to sit back, did Ba’al let go of his son’s arm. “Not all files were lost, since the Ancients and the other races managed to preserve their knowledge in a way that didn’t need direct access to the panel. We actually found some traces of that databank when we were attacked.” Swallowing hard, he removed his hands from the table, inching slightly to the right, away from Ba’al. He was so young… far too young to be doing this. Far too vulnerable.

Why the heck did Evan insist on coming? His mere presence here was only making it worse.

“So, you want to get more access… why? I would think you have all the tech you need. What else could you possibly want?”

Caleb was silent then, swallowing hard as he threw a side-eyed look at Ba’al. “He offers you Atlantis in exchange for that information and a new peace treaty that favours him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I’m sorry this took so long! Do you know the feeling when you get stuck? Well, this scene was hard, but we’ll get there in the end. My plan is to (hopefully) finish writing this story by the end of March at the latest. I’m also currently working on a couple of Star Wars stories besides teaching kids from my home desk.
> 
> I hope you guys are alright and doing well 😊 Take care!


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